Total Drama Dynamite
by Ojex XIII
Summary: Chris and Chef return to camp Wawanakwa for another season of their favorite TV show and this time... theyre going to have a blast. no longer accepting characters, so please dont send any in.
1. rules

(a/n) I quite honestly couldn't help myself. It just seemed too tempting to do one of these since everyone else is doing one… and that's saying something since I almost never follow fads. Ill be picking 22 of your OCs. I'm not using one of my own for obvious reasons. Also, I wont just be picking the first 22, but the ones I think will make the best story. Anyway, just fill out the application form and **PM YOUR APPLICATION TO ME**. I want to save the reviews for the actually story.

Oh, and a few things before you fill out the application. First off, your character **CAN'T** be related to anyone from the show (this includes Chris and Chef). They also **CAN'T **be a basic clone of a character from the show. They also **CAN'T **have magic powers or be a vampire or something along those lines. Any of these will result in immediate disqualification. However, homosexuals and people that have a dark or disturbing past (to an extent) are welcome.

Name:

Gender:

Stereotype:

Hair:

Clothes:

Appearance (minor details):

Personality:

Likes:

Dislikes:

Phobias:

Pairing:

History:

Anything Else:

(a/n) Ill be pm-ing the owners of the 22 camps that I pick to tell them that they're in. just remember to follow the guidelines and have a good character and you shouldn't have a problem getting in. until the first chapter, later.


	2. Last Luxury Part 1

Total Drama Dynamite

Episode 1: Last Luxury Part 1

Chris looked into the mirror carefully as he flossed his perfectly white and pearly teeth one last time before he had to start work for the day. "Times like these make me wonder why I got into television in the first place."

"Good money." Chef explained, shouting over the television on the other side of the trailer.

"Oh yeah… really good money…" Chris grinned smugly and chuckled at the mirror just as the trailer door opened and some random crew member walked in.

"Five minutes, Mr. McClain." The crew member said quickly.

"Shove it out your ass, Steve." Chris yawned. "We'll start when I feel like it."

"The producers say now." Steve said.

"Now it is then." Chris agreed, getting up from his chair and bumping knuckles with Chef once before stepping out of the trailer with Steve. Steve led him to where the camera was: the parking lot of their favorite luxury resort, Playa de Losers. Chris had to admit, of all the ideas he'd had for the show, this was defiantly the best one yet… the new campers wouldn't expect a thing.

Steve stepped behind the only camera around and quickly got it read. Chris quickly fixed his hair one last time before grinning at the camera. "And three… two… one… **ACTION!**"

"Yo, we're coming at you live from Playa de Losers. I'm your host Chris McClain and you are watching the newest season of the worlds favorite reality show… Total Drama Dynamite!" Chris raised his arms up even with his chest with his palms facing upward as a row of explosives went off simultaneously a few dozen yards behind him, charring the parking lot. "This season, we are once again putting a random group of twenty teens in an insane competition for one hundred grand. It'll have laughs, romance (we hope), shocking twists, drama, and of course…" one more explosive went off. "… Dynamite. Our lucky campers will compete in challenges against each other and then they have to face the judgment of their teammates. Just as least season, every three days the winning team gets to chill and sometimes get a reward… but the losing team votes off one of their members who then has to walk the dock of shame, catch the boat of losers, and go home... why we're at Playa de Losers then… well, you'll see. To survive this competition, the campers will have to survive their darkest fears, gross food (courtesy of Chef Hatchet)," Chef quickly moved in front of the camera with his crazy grin, moving away just a quickly. "The occasional (proverbial) game of Chess with Death, and… well, do I really have to say it again?" One last explosion went off. "Now, sit back and watch as start having fun with out next victims on Total Drama Dynamite!"

~TWO MINUTES LATER~

"Now, let's meet out new campers." Chris said. "I think I see someone pulling up now." A car pulled into the parking lot and stopped next to Chris. The owner stepped out and smiled slyly at the camera. His skin was slightly tan, he had wavy brown hair, and he wore black jeans, a black hoodie, and a red polo shirt over that. "Nick, what's up dude?"

"Nothing much." Nick said. "Quick question, though. What's gunna happen to my car while I'm on the show?"

"It'll sit here in the parking lot collecting dust." Chris said nonchalantly.

Nick looked at him darkly. "Not cool, dude."

"What kind of car is that, anyway?" Chris asked. "…Can't quite put my finger on it…"

"2009 Chevrolet Corvette." Nick explained.

"Nice." Chris said. "I'll have an intern part it for you. And don't worry; they've been driving longer than you have." Nick just rolled his eyes and stepped aside as his car pulled away and another rolled up behind it. This time it was a girl with long brunette hair up in a pony tail with neon green streaks in her bangs. She wore a tight, neon green T-shirt and a pair of Bermuda shorts. "Penny. Nice to have you here."

"Good to be here, Chris." Penny said as she stepped out of her car, an intern jumping in after her and driving away. "We're staying here? I thought the show took place at a crappy summer camp."

"Apparently you didn't read the contract." Chris said.

"And apparently you use too much cologne." Penny retorted, giving a phony cough before going to join Nick.

The next camper was another girl, this one with light brown hair with bangs that covered one eye. She had freckles on her face and, from what Chris could tell, her eyes were two different colors; one green and the other blue. She wore a green top with sleeves so long that only her fingers could be seen, but her shoulders and her naval were exposed; a black skirt down to her knees and green tights underneath that. "Hey, Payton." Chris said.

"Hey, Chris! I am so excited to be here!" Payton said enthusiastically. "Hey, is there gunna be a talent contest this season?"

"Maybe."

"Awesome! I can show off my acting skills."

"Right… why don't you go join the others over their." Chris suggested. Payton nodded and went to join Nick and Penny.

The next camper was a guy with straight black hair that reached down to his neck and covered one eye. He wore a black hoodie with a flaming skull design on the back and a pair of black, baggy jeans. "Nick…" Chris started, before realizing a problem. "Great… now we have two Nicks on the show. Either of you mind going by your whole first name?"

"Never call me Nicholas!" the first nick called. Nicholas just shrugged and walked passed Chris to join the others.

"Yeah, yeah, great conversation. Talk more later." Chris said sarcastically.

Before the next camper's car even rolled up, the campers and Chris could immediately hear Aerosmith's "Same Old Song and Dance" blasting on the stereo. Just as the song ended the car pulled up and the next camper stepped out. He had shaggy dark brown hair. He wore a dark green, zip-up jacket that had small pins and chains all over it, a black T-shirt under that and ripped up blue jeans. He also had a pair of red and blue 3D glasses sitting on his forehead for some reason. "Well if it isn't Jason." Chris exclaimed.

"Chris." Jason said with a nervous grin. "So, is this where we're staying?"

Chris ignored his question and motioned for him to join the other four as the next camper pulled up. Surprisingly, this camper was riding a motorcycle, even if it was just a red crotch rocket. He jumped off the bike with a "Woohoo!" and removed his helmet, revealing the medium length brown hair underneath. He wore a black shirt with tight sleeves around his slightly muscular arms and a pair of dark blue jean shorts. He also had a dog tag necklace with 37 etched into it. "All right! Let's get this party started!"

Chris eyed this guy suspiciously. "TJ, eh?... You sure you're not Geoff in disguise?"

TJ laughed. "Positive." He said. "Though I've heard that guy can throw one serious party."

Chris laughed, nodding. "Trust me, he can. Now go join the others."

As the next camper stepped out of her car, TJ immediately nodded in approval with a sly grin. She had silky blond hair that, were it not for the black and white scrunchy holding it up slightly, would've gone down to her knees. She wore a white spaghetti strap shirt and long, separate black sleeves as well as black boots that went up to her knees and a short white skirt with white leggings underneath. She was also very curvy, which made pretty much every guy there (including Chris but excluding Nicholas who was paying no attention to the other campers) gawk at her. "I'm guessing Kyra, right?" Chris asked. Kyra was about to say something, but Chris cut her off. "Hey, Chef, get ready!" he called. "We've got another Lindsay on our hands!"

"Excuse me?" Kyra demanded.

"Not cool, dude." TJ agreed.

Kyra just rolled her eyes as she stomped passed Chris, making sure to stomp on his foot along the way. Chris cringed and yelped, quietly noting not to piss her off again.

The next camper was another girl, this one with long, bright pink hair, which Payton and Chris couldn't help but chuckle at. She wore a red midriff with a cherry blossom design and a white pair of jeans. She also had a bracelet with a few cherry blossom charms hanging from it. She also had a guitar on her back, the strap hanging over one shoulder. "And this is Sakura." Chris said.

"What's with the pink hair?" Payton asked.

Sakura glared at her and casually walked passed Chris. "Watch yourself." She growled to Payton as she joined the other campers. It was then that she noticed Jason eyeing her suspiciously. She wasn't quite sure what to make of this so she smiled and winked at him. Jason, blushing, immediately turned his attention back to Chris who was already introducing the next camper.

From what the other campers could tell, this guy had short, messy black hair which was mostly hidden by the hood of his purple and gray sweatshirt. His shirt had a tarantula design on the front, which looked suspiciously real. He also wore dark blue jeans, black wristbands, and he had a small earring in his right earlobe. He was rather skinny and his skin was a bit pale too. "Dude, you know you've got a giant spider on your chest, right Allister?" Chris asked.

"That thing's real?" Jason asked, suddenly wide eyes and his jaw quivering.

"That's just Jeremy." Allister said, holding his hand up to the arachnid so it could crawl up his arm and onto his shoulder.

Before Allister had time to join the other campers, a car horn went off behind him. "Move it!" demanded the cars owner. Allister just lowered his head and walked over to the others as the intern pulled away in his car and the next camper pulled up. This camper was another guy. He had somewhat long brown hair some of which was hidden under the black cowboy had he wore and was muscular and tall. He also wore a purple shirt, black jeans and black leather cowboy boots. He eyed the other contestants, silently judging them as a Pomeranian jumped out of the car after him and started yapping and gnawing as Chris's ankles. "Russell, get this little rat off of me." Chris said, annoyed.

Russell just laughed. "Leave Mr. Muggles alone. He wasn't doing anything."

"Yeah, well the Great Dane in my trailer begs to differ." Chris said.

Russell immediately snatched up his ankle biter in his arms and walked over to the other campers. He ended up standing next to Allister, who he took one look at and immediately said, "Stay away from me."

"No problem." Allister agreed dryly.

The next camper was a girl with shoulder length brunette hair. She wore a plain green sweatshirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. As soon as she stepped out of her car she and saw Chris she blushed and smiled. "Hey, Lena." Chris said.

"Hi Chris." Lena said as if in the middle of a day dream, which she probably was. Chris automatically knew what was going on in her head and he rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"Oh boy, another stalker." He joked.

"Oh, Chris, you're so funny." Lena giggled.

Their was a brief, awkward silence after that. Chris was waiting for Lena to go join the others but she just stood there, gawking at Chris in a daze. After a few moments, Chris rolled his eyes in annoyance and snapped his fingers. The intern that had been handling the camper's cars and Steve the camera guy pushed her over to the other contestants so that the next camper could be introduced.

The next camper was another girl, this one with dark brown hair up in a pony tail. She wore a light pink tank top and a denim skirt, along with a necklace with a crown pendant and she carried a coach purse. "Hey, Ashlynn. How's it going?" Chris asked.

"Oh, everything's just great… unless you count the four hour plane rid between two fat guys and the piece of crap rental car I got. But other than that things are just awesome." Ashylnn said. "Look, I'm in a really bad mood right now, so don't mess with me."

Chris just laughed again. "Hey, you signed up for a reality show. Unless you're going to turn green and start ripping tanks in half, I'm going to make sure that the next eight weeks are absolutely miserable for all of you."

"Well, hulk smash…" Ashlynn said dryly as she went to join the others.

The next camper rolled up on a motorcycle like TJ did… but this time it was on a chopper and a nice one at that. Classic black with hotrod flames paint job. The rider removed her helmet and walked over to Chris. She had long raven black hair and was rather busty. She wore an aqua blue tube tope with a silver tiger design on the front and a matching aqua blue mini skirt. She glanced at the other campers and Chris and waved. "Hey." She said.

"Ayame, I have to say, nice bike." Chris said.

"Thanks." Ayame said with a smile. "My brother lent it to me… so be careful with it." She shot a glare to the intern who was about to pull away on her brothers chopper. She waited and watched the intern park her bike next to TJ's crotch rocket before walking over to the others, digging into her backpack and snacking on a box of pocky.

The next camper, to everyone's surprise, didn't drive up but instead ran up to Chris. He had short brown hair and wore a green soccer jersey with a pair of tan shorts. He stopped next to Chris and bent over, supporting himself on his knees and breathing heavily. "I'm here!" he said.

"Um, Chance… why didn't you drive?" Chris asked.

"Buds back home… dared me to run here from the airport." Chance gasped before falling face first into the asphalt. "So where's the party?" he mumbled into the ground before Steve and the intern flipped him over and dragged him over to the other campers. "Oh… cool." He said before passing out. No one seemed that concerned about him. The biggest response to passing out was Sakura poking him in the chest with a stick.

"Wow…" TJ said. "… Dude doesn't know when to stop partying… ten bucks says that he passes out again before he's voted off."

"You're on." Nick agreed.

The next camper was a guy with dirty blonde in a fauxhawk with dark purple and light blue streaks. He was semi muscular and had a piercing on one eyebrow. He wore a pair of worn out jeans, a purple zip-up hoodie, and a light blue T-shirt with "I kissed a guy and I liked it" written in white letters. "Let the games begin." He said with a grin.

"Hey, Dylan." Chris said, bumping fists with him. "So… I'm guessing by the shirt that you're gay, right?"

"You know it." Dylan said, nodding.

"That's cool." Chris said. "Why don't you go join the others." Dylan did as told and ended up standing next to Allister, eyeing Jeremy who was still sitting on Allister's shoulder.

"Cool spider." Dylan said.

Allister blushed slightly and turned away, pulling his hood up more. "Thanks." He said quickly.

The next camper was a guy with messy brown hair who was a bit pale. He wore a green T-shirt and a pair of blue jeans and had a pair of sunglasses propped up on his forehead. There was nothing out of the ordinary about him at first… until he accidentally closed his car door on par of his shirt, took one step, and fell face first to the ground. Some of the campers and Chris laughed at this while others gave a worried look. He immediately got back to his feet, blushing, and said "HimynameisHarper."

"Wow." Chris said. "This may turn out to be better than last season." He waited until Harper was standing next to him to continue. "Welcome to the show, Harper. You excited to be here." Harper only nodded, still blushing, before nervously walking over to the other campers.

The next camper was a girl with dark brown hair that reached just passed her shoulders. Her body was slender and her skin was a quite tan. She wore a green tank top and a white skirt. "Hey, Carolina." Chris said.

"Hola, Chris." Carolina said halfheartedly. "Now, I need someone to go park my car and someone else to carry my bags up to the resort… You, with the pink hair, you can do that."

Sakura glared at her. "Drop dead, Princess. I'm no maid." She growled.

Carolina just looked at her, a lot more confused than angry. She then walked over to the other campers, making sure to avoid Sakura.

Yet another girl stepped out of the next car to roll up. This girl had shoulder length black hair with pink streaks and had three piercings in each ear. She wore a pair of torn up jeans, a plain gray hoodie, and from what Chris could tell show wore a nirvana T-shirt under her that. Her clothes were just tight enough to somewhat show off her curvy figure. "Sam. Welcome to the show." Chris said.

Sam quickly scanned Chris before smirking. "Well what do you know…? Beth's blog was right. Your hair really does look like a wig in person." She laughed.

"What?" Chris said in shock, holding his hair down to his head. Sam just walked passed him, still chuckling and joined the others. It was only then that Chris realized she was joking. "Not cool!" he shouted.

The next camper was the tenth and final girl. She had long blond hair tied into a braid, had a slightly disturbing grin on her face, and had tan skin. She wore a denim vest with a white T-shirt underneath which looked like it had black paint splattered on it and a pair of black jeans. "Naomi, welcome to Total Drama Dynamite!" Chris said.

"The show's called Total Drama **Island**, Chris." Naomi corrected.

Chris raised one eyebrow. "No, that was last season." He corrected. "This season is called Total Drama Dynamite."

"No it's not."

Chris just glared at her. "You know what; I'm not going to argue with you. Go stand with the other crazies." Naomi just shrugged and did as she was told. Chris quickly got his signature grin back and looked at the camera. "And that just leaves…"

The last camper's car rolled up next to Chris. It was a guy with wavy black hair and light brown skin. He wore a tight black T-shirt with a black and white design of flaming skulls raining down from a storm cloud and baggy jeans with a loose belt. "Well if it isn't Xavier. Or should I call you Takumi?" Chris asked.

"Tak will do fine." Tak said a she walked passed Chris to join the others.

"What is it with some of you not knowing the meaning of the word _conversation_?" Chris asked. After getting no response he just shrugged. "Whatever. Let's just get a picture for the promos so you can go get settled in at Playa de Losers." Chris pulled a digital camera out of his pocket and aimed it at the campers as they all moved together and posed. "Everybody say _Playa de losers_!"

"Playa de Losers!"

Chris took the photo… just in time for an explosion to go off behind the campers and snap a picture of some of them running around screaming like idiots. Chris laughed hysterically and turned to the camera. "Cut to commercial." He gasped between laughs.

* * *

(a/n) hope you all liked the first episode. if you have any problems with how you character was portrayed then let me know and Ill work on it. I hope to get the next chapter done soon, but I do have another project I want to finish before I seriously get into anything else. later.


	3. Last Luxury Part 2

Episode 2: Last Luxury Part 2

"Ok, people. Here's the deal." Chris said, turning to the campers as soon as Steve got his camera running again and gave him the thumbs up. The twenty campers stopped conversing among themselves and turned their attention to him. "For reasons that can only be defined as _producer ideas_ the resort has been divided into two sections; one side for the losers, and the other for those still in the game. Unfortunately, the side for those still in the game only has ten rooms so you're all going to have to room with someone else. Savvy?"

"Seriously?" Russell demanded. "I have to share a room with one of these Neanderthals?"

Chris shrugged. "You could always sleep in the stables with the riding horses." He suggested. Russell just groaned, knelt down, and started scratching Mr. Muggles behind the ear. "Oh, and before I forget, bathrooms in the lobby double as confessionals." Chris continued.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Russell sat in a restroom stall, glaring at the camera with his arms crossed and Mr. Muggles snoozing on his lap. "I have to say, if it weren't for the fact that this is a luxury resort and I'm under contract I'd be out of here by now."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Things are great so far." Payton said to the camera. "… Well, except for that jerk with the ankle biter." She shuddered at the thought of the Pomeranian. "That thing freaks me out."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Chris is up to something, I can tell." Nicholas said. "There's no way that we're staying at a luxury resort for the next eight weeks without any strings attached…"

~PARKING LOT~

"Ok, campers. Now that the mandatory explanations are out of the way, partner up, pick a room, and party like there's not tomorrow… 'Cause tomorrow, there basically won't be… your first challenge starts first thing after breakfast." Chris said.

~HALF AN HOUR LATER ~

After picking room mates and unpacking, the twenty contestants all went down to the pool and started to party. As soon as he was outside Chance jumped into the pool and started doing laps and Dylan started cooking burgers and hotdogs on the grill. When Naomi and Sam arrived in the pool area they watched Chance doing laps for a few minutes, both agreeing that he was a showoff and giggling, before joining him in the pool, floating on their backs and relaxing. The next to arrive was Sakura who took a hotdog from the grill, put it in a bun and slathered it in mustard. She ate it quickly before sitting down at the folding chair with her guitar and starting to tune it. Kyra, Payton, Ayame, and Ashlynn all arrived at the same time, joining Sakura on the folding chairs to relax. TJ and Tak showed up next, followed by two resort employees who where pushing a DJ table with a stack of records on it. The two employees quickly set up the table and TJ shouted, "Hit it!" Tak then pulled on a pair of headphones, threw a couple records onto the table and started scratching. Sakura seemed to be the only one who didn't like this because now she couldn't hear her guitar. But she just shrugged and set the instrument on the ground next to her.

As the party rolled on all of the others arrived and joined in on the fun. Chance once again overexerted himself and ended up passing out in the pool. He probably would've drowned if it weren't for a few of the others keeping an eye on him. Somewhere along the line Tak got tired of scratching and stopped, deciding to hit the snack bar. This made way for the first significant event of the night to take place.

Just as Sakura had, when Jason arrived he also had a guitar with him. He started playing, but at first it was too loud to hear due to Tak's music. But after he stopped Jason's music could be heard clearly. Everyone stopped what they were doing to listen to him, even Chance woke up. Sakura, as a fellow guitar player, had to admit that she was impressed. As Jason stopped playing most of the other clapped, with a few exceptions. Russell was too self-centered to be impressed and Sakura, well…

As Jason stopped playing Sakura started playing her own. Everyone looked over to her and Jason raised one eyebrow. She played for a few moments more before stopping, letting the others applaud and nodding back to Jason. He got the message and started playing again. They continued playing back and forth for a while, starting a sort of guitar duel. Everyone else was completely entranced… surprisingly, even Russell. Eventually they completely forgot about taking turns and played simultaneously. By then Ashlynn was wishing she had a better iPod so she could've recorded their music. By the time they finished their arms were exhausted and everyone else was clapping and cheering. There were only two comments to be made.

"Awesome." Tak said.

"Only could've been better with electric guitars." Penny agreed.

The party continued for a few more hours after that and when it started getting dark people started to retire to their rooms.

~RUSSELL AND TAK'S TOOM~

Tak buried his head under his pillow, trying to drown out Mr. Muggles's constant yapping and the annoying TV show that Russell insisted on watching. Things were fine at first… Tak would try to just ignore everything and Russell minded his own business. But then Mr. Muggles jumped onto his bed and started knowing on his pants. That was the straw that broke the camels back.

Without thinking Tak grabbed Mr. Muggles by the scruff of his neck and tossed the midget dog back onto Russell's bed. The dog yelped and scrambled up to its owner who hugged the dog closely. "Dude, what the hell's your problem?" Russell demanded.

"Just keep that rat away from me and we won't have any problems." Take growled.

Russell glared at him. "Too late for that."

"Oh yeah." Tak agreed.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Yeah, so I ended up rooming with that asshole because no one else wanted too." Tak growled to the camera. "Leave it to the black guy to do what no one else wants. That sort of thing is why we always die in horror movies!"

~KYRA AND PAYTONS ROOM~

"So, what do you think of everyone else so far?" Payton asked as she continued to flip channels on the TV. Kyra looked up from her book and thought about it for a moment.

"Oh… I don't know." The blond said. "It's only been twelve hours since we've all met after all."

A suspicious grin came over Payton's face, causing Kyra to become confused. "Ok, then, let me rephrase that… what do you think of the **guys** so far?" she chuckled.

Kyra's confusion turned to embarrassment and she blushed, but still a small smile appeared as she folded the corner of the page she was on and closed her book. "Well…" she started, giving this question some serious thought. "TJ's cool; he defiantly know how to throw a party, that's for sure. Russell's a complete jerk… only concerned about his stupid dog of his. He defiantly won't last long. From what we saw at the pool today, I can tell Jason's going to be good competition… I can't really say much about the others… especially Allister. He's a hard one to peg. He almost seems determined to stay off the radar."

"Maybe he wasn't that social back home." Payton suggested.

"Maybe…"

~TJ AND CHANCE'S ROOM~

TJ sighed, lying on his bed and flipping channels, trying to find something worth watching. Chance was busy doing push ups on the other bed. It was kind of weird actually. Chance had barely stopped moving since they'd all arrived. "Dude, you've got to chill." TJ said. "You're gunna over do it if you don't stop."

"Why? Sitting still and relaxing is boring." Chanced huffed, continuing to do push ups.

"Ok, but don't say I didn't warn ya." TJ said.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Chance is cool, but he really needs to learn to mellow down." TJ said. "But hey, I'm not gunna make him. Not only is it none of my business, he exorcises so much that I'm pretty sure he could rip me in half."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"So I don't like to sit still, big deal." Chance said as he did some jump roping in the confessional. "It's not like I've ever hurt anybody… well, there was that one time in Toronto…"

~AYAME AND SAKURA'S ROOM~

Sakura glance between her hand of cards and Ayame, trying to figure out if the Japanese girl was bluffing or not. She had to admit, Ayame had a good poker face and, though her hand was good, it wasn't that good. Finally, she sighed, "I fold."

"Yes!" Ayame punched the air in victory and took the pot… a total of ten Canadian dollars. "You up for another game?" she asked.

Sakura shook her head. "No, I think I'm going to bed." She yawned. "That jam session with Jason earlier must've taken more out of me than I thought."

"Yeah, what was with that, anyway?" Ayame asked. "It was almost like you were competing over who's music was better."

"It's just something musicians do." Sakura said as she headed for the bathroom to change. "Haven't you ever been to the Battle of the Bands?"

Ayame shrugged. "Makes sense." She said. "Still, it was pretty cool. You two should form a band or something after the shows over." Sakura said something, but it was muffled because Sakura had shut the bathroom door. When she returned she quickly flipped off the lights and crawled into her bed.

"Good luck in the challenge tomorrow." Sakura said.

Ayame grinned. "You'd just better hope we're on the same team, 'cause I don't play nice."

~DYLAN AND JASON'S ROOM ~

Jason was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling while listening to his iPod, currently playing one of the songs that he and his band back home had made. Dylan was busy reading a book on his own bed. Occasionally Jason would get a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach and glance over to Dylan, who was still too into his book to notice.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Ok, so I'm a little nervous about sharing a room with this Dylan guy because he's gay." Jason admitted to the camera. "It's not like I'm homophobic or anything."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Eventually Jason got tired of his music and turned off his iPod, turned on the TV and started looking for something to watch. "Nice work with your guitar out there, by the way." Dylan said as he closed his book. "You in a band or something?"

"Yeah." Jason said. "I've got a band back home in Manhattan."

Dylan nodded. "Well, with you as a guitarist, your band must sound pretty good."

"I actually play bass… but yeah, we're pretty awesome." Jason chuckled.

"And I'm guessing that you think **Sakura** is pretty awesome too." Dylan said, chuckling to himself afterwards.

Jason's face immediately went red and he started thinking of anyway to deny it. "W-what are you talking about?" he demanded. "I barely know her!"

Dylan just laughed, got up, and headed for the bathroom. "Whatever."

~CAROLINA AND PENNY'S ROOM~

Penny exited the bathroom and stretched her arms, dressed in her pajamas and fresh from the shower. Carolina was sitting at a table, writing something down in what Penny guessed was her journal. Penny laid down on her bed and sighed, getting comfortable before going to sleep when Carolina spoke. "Hey, could you make me some popcorn?"

Penny lifted her head and looked over to her and couldn't believe what she saw. "You're, like, two steps away from the microwave yourself! Why can't you get it." she asked, trying not to sound made.

Carolina looked over to her, confused, and then spotted the microwave. "Oh… I didn't notice." She said before going back to her writing.

Penny just gave her a confused look. "So you're not going to have any just because I'm not going to get it for you?" she asked. Carolina gave no answer. "Whatever." Penny said. _… you lazy, egotistical sloth._ She mentally added.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I get the feeling that some of the others don't like me that much." Carolina said to the camera. "I don't get why though. I'm being super nice to everyone… right?"

~NICHOLAS AND ALLISTER'S ROOM~

Nicholas rolled over in his bed, trying to fall asleep. He wasn't sure why, but either some excitement for tomorrows challenge or a random case of insomnia was keeping him awake. His roommate, Allister, was nowhere to be seen. He'd disappeared after, or perhaps some time during, the party. Nicholas didn't know where he was, but he really didn't care either. What Allister did with his time was his business and Nicholas preferred being alone anyway. Still… he couldn't help but wonder where Allister had disappeared to for so many hours. "Should've taken his stupid spider with him though." Nicholas complained. Jeremy, Allister's tarantula, had been safely locked away in a cage when Nicholas returned to the room, but before he turned off the lights to go to sleep, he couldn't help but notice that wasn't in view inside the cage. "Damn arachnophobia." Nicholas complained.

As luck would have it, Nicholas rolled over again just in time for Allister to open the door, letting light in and practically blinding him. "Where the hell have you been?" Nicholas asked. He'd meant to hold his tongue and pretend to be asleep, but it slipped out.

Allister just ignored him and knelt down as Jeremy crawled toward him on the floor. The spider crawled up his arm and Allister put him back in his cage. "How'd that thing get free?" Nicholas demanded.

Allister just glared at him, almost like he was about to snap, but he sighed and slouched before mumbling, "Sorry." He then kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed.

~LENA AND ASHLYNN'S ROOM~

Ashlynn yawned and flipped back to her movie as the show she was watching went to commercial. For the past hour or so she'd been flipping between an MTV about the Twilight movie and an old James Bond with Sean Connery. Lena was busy at the table, typing away on a laptop, probably on My Space.

"Oh man, I'm going to miss so much while I'm here!" Lena suddenly complained.

"What's up?" Ashlynn questioned.

"Oh, nothing." Lena said, still typing. "My friends are going on a few whale watching trips this summer and I'm missing out because I'm here… what was I thinking when I signed up for this?"

"I bet it was: _Oh my god, I'm going to meet Chris McClain in person! EEEEEEEEEEEE!_" Ashlynn said in a high-pitched voice. "You are seriously obsessed with him."

Lena glared at her. "Hey, let's get something straight: I'm not obsessed with him… I'm in love with him…"

"That's worse." Ashlynn pointed out. Lena just shrugged and went back to her typing.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Lena can be a bit annoying with all of her _whales this, trees that, Chris McClain, Chris McClain, Chris McClain!_" Ashlynn said to the camera. "… but other than that she's ok."

~NICK AND HARPER'S ROOM~

"Yes!" Nick said cheerfully as he took first place in the racing game he was playing on his PSP. Harper was lying on the other bed watching a movie, something about a terrorist in a mask in near future Britain from what Nick had heard, he was too into his game to pay attention. Nick was so into his game, in fact, that he failed to notice that the batteries were running low and just as he was about to win… the screen went black. "Damn it! So close, too!" he grumbled as he plugged his game into the wall to charge the batteries. With nothing better to do now he decided to watch Harper's movie. "So what's this?" he asked.

"V for Vendetta." Harper said. "That guy in the mask is trying to blow up parliament in order to fix the corrupt government in near future Britain."

"Huh… any explosions?"

"Plenty."

"I'm in."

About an hour and a half later the movie was over, Nick and Harper had really gotten to know each other… or at least Nick had gotten to know Harper. It had been hard to get him talking at first, but eventually he had Harper practically giving his life story. Appearently he was from Michigan in the United States and wasn't exactly Mr. Popularity in his school. His klutziness had gotten him into more than one predicament that made him the laughing stock of the entire school... no juicy details mentioned.

"So what about you, Nick?" Harper asked. "What's life like back in your home town?"

Nick paused and his face flushed white. He quickly snapped out of his trance, however, and laughed. "Oh, you know: cars, cruising around town, playing video games, the occasional date… the usual stuff." Harper gave him a suspicious look. "Well, I'm tired." Nick announced, deciding to change the subject. He headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Harper had a feeling that he was hiding something, but shrugged it off and started flipping channels for another movie.

~SAM AND NAOMI'S ROOM~

Sam yawned as she laid on her bed, almost motionless, listening to her iPod and reading a book she'd brought with her. On the other bed Naomi was busy drawing something in a sketchpad, glancing over to Sam for some reason occasionally for some reason. Somewhere along the line Sam had a sudden craving for popcorn and she started to get up. "Hold that pose for five more seconds." Naomi suddenly said.

"What?" Sam questioned.

"Just sit back down the way you were for a few seconds." Naomi ordered.

Sam, confused, did as told and laid back down. As Naomi promised she was only there for a few seconds before she was allowed to get up. "What was that all about?" Sam asked.

Naomi shrugged and tossed her the sketch pad. To Sam's surprise it was a drawing of her, lying on her bed, listening to her music and reading her book. "Wow, this is really good… but why'd you draw me?"

Again, Naomi shrugged. "What else is there to draw in here?" she questioned.

Sam nodded. "A little creepy, but still, this is really good. You should do this professionally or something."

Naomi smiled. "Thanks."

~THE NEXT MORNING~

"Morning, sun shines." Chris said cheerfully as the twenty teens gathered around him at the dock behind the resort. "Ready for your first challenge?"

"All right!" Chance shouted "Let's do this! Let's kick some ass!"

"You know it, Chance man!" TJ agreed as they bumped fists.

"Well alrighty then." Chris said. "First I'm going to have to divide you into teams. So, when I call your name go stand over there." He proceeded to call off ten names, first two of which were Russell and Tak. From there he called Penny, Sam, Naomi, Dylan, Allister, Ashlynn, Nicholas, and Payton. Chris then pulled what looked like a large rolled up rug out of nowhere and tossed it to Tak. He unrolled it, revealing a picture of an enraged moose. "You ten are now the Raging Moose! As for the rest of you…" Chris tossed a second banner to Nick. This one had a picture of a bald eagle with its wings spread. "You are now the Shrieking Eagles!"

"Great, we are now filthy animals." Russell snorted.

"Hey, animals aren't filthy!" Lena protested.

"Hey, people, when I'm here you shut it until I say otherwise, got it?" Chris insisted. There were no objections. "Good, so now that we have our teams it's time for the first challenge… go pack up your junk and throw it on the truck in the parking lot."

"Excuse me?" Payton questioned.

"Your first challenge is to get to Camp Wawanakwa Island on the other side of the peninsula." Chris explained, chuckling. "That's where the rest of the show will take place."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Told you he was up to something." Nicholas said.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"So you made us come here and get comfortable on purpose!" Ayame growled. "And now we're leaving to live at a crappy summer camp. That's just sick! It's twisted! It's… a good idea actually."

"Says you." Sam said.

Everyone left to pack their things and threw their bags onto a truck in the parking lot. Then they returned to the dock so Chris could explain the rest of the challenge.

"Here's the deal people." Chris said, beginning to explain the rules. "You can get to the island anyway you want. Playa de Losers will provide canoes for you but you could swim or do something else if you like. You don't even have to stay with your team… in fact…"

"Hold on for a sec, would you Chris?" Carolina ordered as she pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number. "Hola, Papa. Could you send the yacht out up to Playa de Losers?... Yeah, the place I'm staying at for the show… It's for the first challenge… Thanks, Papa… Love you too."

Within seconds a small yacht pulled up next to the boat and a ramp came down. Carolina and her fellow Eagles quickly boarded and they took off. "See you at the island, losers." Chance called back to them.

Chris and the remaining campers were silent for a second before Chris continued. "Anyway… I was about to say that it's probably not a good idea to stick together. Only one of you needs to make it to the island for your whole team to win invincibility."

"So in other words they just screwed themselves." Nick said.

"Not if you guys don't **GET MOVING! GO, GO, GO,GO!**" Chris shouted. With that the moose scattered and went to find their own way of making it across the lake.

However, a few of the Moose remained behind… namely Nicholas, Penny, Allister, and Tak. "Have a strategy, do we?" Chris asked.

"I've seen shows like these before and somehow the hosts always end up at the destination before any of the contestants." Tak explained. "Mind giving us a ride?"

Chris just laughed. "Hop in the back of the truck with the luggage."

~CANOE SHED~

The six moose that didn't catch a ride with Chris headed straight for the canoe shed to find a way to the island. It was easy enough; Sam and Naomi just grabbed a couple of ors and one of the boats and headed straight for the water. Ashlynn spotted a ring of keys hanging on the wall. Knowing exactly what they were for, she grabbed them and ran out. Curious, Dylan followed her. That just left Payton and, to her annoyance, Russell and his ankle biter to take one last canoe. "Keep that rat away from me." she said.

Outside, Ashlynn quickly ran to another building, this one with an opening over the water for boats to come in and out of. Dylan followed her inside. There was really nothing in there… except a box full of life jackets and a jet ski. "Good call." He chuckled.

Ashlynn turned around, surprised to see him. "Oh, darn! I thought this was my little secret…"

"Kind of obvious that you have a plan when you grab the only set of keys in the shed and then run out." Dylan pointed out.

Ashlynn shrugged and pulled on a life jacket. "Well, I don't see any reason I can't give you a lift. We're on the same team and you really can't paddle a canoe on your own… throw this on and sit behind me." She tossed him a life jacket and hopped on the Jet Ski.

"What, no _funny business_ speech?" Dylan chuckled as he pulled on the orange jacket and sat behind her.

"Why bother. I know you of all people aren't going to do anything."

"Hey, how'd you know about this, anyway?"

Ashlynn revved the engine. "Saw one of the employees riding it earlier." She shouted before they took off.

Out on the lake, Payton, Russell, Sam, and Naomi were already making their way across the lake in their canoes. As expected, Russell flat out refused to do any paddling and Payton had to hit him with her ore. When that didn't work, she stole Mr. Muggles from him, as much as it freaked her out, and threatened to toss him in the water if Russell didn't get working. Sam and Naomi worked together well, though. In the distance they could see Carolina's yacht, slowly slipping out f sight. They had no idea where the rest of their team was, however.

"I swear I'm going to make Chris pay for this." Russell complained.

"Hey, it's a reality show, genius." Payton said. "Expect the unexpected."

"Do you realize how redundant that statement is?" Russell hissed.

"Quiet, you two!" Sam snapped. "God, you're like a couple of howler monkeys."

"I think I hear something coming." Naomi said.

Not five seconds later Ashlynn and Dylan came zooming by on their Jet Ski, Ashlynn shouting "Woohoo!" and Dylan screaming for dear life. "Hi guys!" Ashlynn called. "See you at Camp Wawanakwa!"

"Get me off this crazy thing!" Dylan shouted.

~CAROLINA'S YACHT~

"Well, it looks like we've got this challenge in the bag." Sakura said happily as she watched Camp Wawanakwa come into view on the horizon. Unless the other team magically obtained a speed boat or something we're winning for sure."

"You're welcome." Carolina said smugly. "Now if you wouldn't mind making me something to drink?"

Sakura growled at her, but then chuckled. "You know what, you deserve it this time." With that she went below deck.

Most of the others were below deck snacking or on the deck lying around. It seemed like only Chance was doing anything noticeable: kicking a soccer ball into the air and trying to keep it there without hitting the ground. So far he'd been successful but the others could see he was getting tired.

"Hey, how about you take a break, Chance." Jason suggested.

Chance shrugged and kicked the ball one last time… unfortunately his aim was slightly off and it went flying straight through a window that lead below deck. The next thing anyone knew the yacht had stopped completely, just in time for Ashlynn and Dylan to go by on their Jet Ski.

Nothing disastrous had happened below deck… but Chances ball had made a direct hit on the engine controls and broke the lever clean off. Luckily it had hit it at just the right angle so that they slowly stopped instead of speeding out of control. Still, they were going to lose now!

"Oh great! Thanks a lot, Chance!" Ayame snapped.

"Hey, it wasn't his fault! Accidents happen!" Kyra defended.

Before the argument could go any further Harper and Nick pushed their way up to the engine controls. "Tell me you have tools on this boat." Nick said.

"I think so." Carolina answered.

"Good." Harper said. "Get them… if we work fast enough we should be able to still win this… provided you don't mind a little turbulence."

~CAMP WAWANAKWA~

Amazingly Harper and Nick had gotten Carolina's yacht working again… but they could only get it to go at full speed so when they got to the island, the boat ended up slamming against the shore and tossing all ten Shrieking Eagles around. Once they'd managed to regain the feeling in their legs, they raced out of the yacht and jumped onto the ground. Chris, not surprisingly, was already there to greet them.

"Way to go, Eagles." He said. "You made it to your new home for eight weeks."

"Woohoo!" TJ shouted.

"Unfortunately," Chris continued, "all ten of the Moose made it here first." He pointed his thumb over his shoulder, indication the ten others standing on the dock of shame. "If you wouldn't have run off like you did, you would've known that only one of you needed to make it to the island in order to win."

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." Sakura grumbled.

"Nope." Chris chuckled. "Now, pick your favorite looser and report to the bonfire at ten sharp."

* * *

(a/n) ok, people, here's the deal. I find myself unable to decide who to vote off. so, I figured Id let you vote instead. thats right, **YOU GET TO VOTE ON WHO'S VOTED OFF!** however, there are a few rules. first off, **PM YOUR VOTES TO ME!** I want to keep these confidential. if you submit a vote to me in a review, it will be ignored. second, if youre not on the loosing team then dont vote. and third, you need two things for a vote to count: a name (not yours, who your voting for) and a reason. no reason equals no vote. Im being very strict on these rules, so please follow them.

to those of you on the Shrieking Eagles team (Jason, Sakura, Carolina, TJ, Chance, Kyra, Nick, Harper, Ayame, and Lena) good luck.

also, now that youve gotten to know all the characters a little better, please feel free to tell me who you think would be a good love interest for your character in your review.


	4. Last Luxury Part 3

Episode 3: Last Luxury Part 3

"Well, here we are, Campers." Chris said as he gave the contestants a tour of the island. "Over there is the bonfire… and that's the mess hall where you get to eat Chef's food…"

"You mean pick our poison." Russell grumbled, rolling his eyes.

"What ever floats your boat." Chris said nonchalantly. "Now, here are the cabins. Girls get one side of each cabin and guys get the other. Eagles, you're in the east cabin, and Moose's, you'll be hanging in the west… the dock over there, thank you for now plowing that yacht into it by the way, is the dock of shame. I'll explain more about that later… Over there are the wash rooms, and that over there is the confessional outhouse… The rest of the island is mostly uncharted wilderness, so feel free to explore… just don't get eaten by bears or wolves."

With that Chris walked off, disappearing into the mess hall and allowing the campers to do whatever the wanted to do at the moment. Most went to unpack, Jason and Chance, however, headed straight for the confessional.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I may have broken the boat, but I wouldn't have been able to if you wouldn't have made the call so fast in the first place." Chance growled before shoving his vote in the box. "I hope you enjoy watching the rest of us on international television for the next eight weeks!" He almost made a certain hand gesture at the camera when someone knocked on the door and shouted for him to hurry up.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Sorry, but you did kind of lose the challenge for us." Jason said before scribbling a name on the paper in his hand and stuffing it in the box.

~EAGLE'S CABIN, GIRLS SIDE~

"I'm really sorry, guys." Carolina said as she stuffed her clothes into one of the drawers in the cabin. "I guess I kinda lost the challenge for us."

"Don't beat yourself up." Sakura yawned, calmly lying on her bed with her eyes closed. "We would've won if it weren't for Chance. If anything we should be angry with him."

Carolina smiled. "Thanks!"

"Ok, now that that's taken care of, let's change the subject." Ayame suggested. No one else seemed to have any idea of what to talk about, so she made her own suggestion. "Boys, anyone?"

"Normally I would go into a daydream about Chris right now." Lena, who was lying on her top bunk above Sakura, pointed out. "But I guess I'm too entranced by all this nature to care without him being right in front of me."

"Good to know." Kyra chuckled. She was leaning against the wall next to the door.

"What about you?" Lena asked.

Kyra thought about it for a moment. "Oh… I dunno. Russell's kind of cute, but he's such a snob! I hope he gets kicked you-know-where before he's voted off."

"But he hasn't done anything to you yet." Carolina said.

"Key word, **yet**." Sakura said. "What about you, Carolina?"

"Well… Dylan's cute and really nice too… too bad he's not on my market. Other than him, well, Harper and Nick did fix my yacht… sort of." Carolina stopped there, starting to giggle, blush, and go into a day dream.

"Ok… Ayame?" Kyra asked.

"Oh, that's easy." Ayame said. "TJ. He's funny, hot… and the only other camper with a motorcycle."

All eyes then turned to Sakura. "What?" she questioned.

"We've all given out opinions." Lena pointed out. "Now it's your turn."

Sakura rolled her eyes and looked up to the under side of Lena's bed. "I dunno… Tak I guess."

Ayame laughed. "You lie really badly, you know that?"

Sakura blushed. "What are you talking about?" she demanded.

"We all know you like Jason." Carolina said.

"What, just because we played some guitar together you think we have some connection or something?" Sakura demanded, blushing even worse now.

"Yeah, pretty much." Ayame said. Sakura just rolled her eyes, got up and walked out the door. "She likes him." Ayame stated, making the other girls laugh.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I don't know what's gotten into their heads." Sakura said, glaring at the camera. "I don't like Jason, all right! I mean, seriously! We've known each other for two days!" She continued glaring for a bit before she flushed red again and a look of uncertainty crossed her face.

~EAGLE'S CABIN, BOYS SIDE ~

Nick was laying silently on hi bed playing his PSP while the other five Eagle boys unpacked. They, too, were silent like the grave, save for Jason quietly humming some song. Chance was obviously worried about being voted off due to his little accident. TJ was too into a song he was listening to on his iPod to even notice the others and Harper, well, he just went about his business. "So… what do you guys think of the island so far?" Nick questioned.

"Sucks." Jason said bluntly.

"Sucks." Harper agreed.

"Sucks." Chance.

TJ pulled out his earphones and shoved them in his pocket. "What?"

"I asked what you think of the island." Nick repeated.

"Oh… it's ok." TJ said. "Not nearly as cool as that resort though. No way we'll be able to throw as good of a party here… unless…" He paused and went into thought. The others could see the gears turning in his head as a grin slowly appeared on his face. "I just got the most killer idea ever."

"Oh boy." Harper said, a little nervous.

"Do tell." Nick said enthusiastically, turning off his game and sitting up.

"Ok, here's the plan guys. We're going to find a completely camera free area in the woods and throw the most wicked awesome party, ever!"

"To what point or purpose?" Jason asked.

"We can't get any music, junk food, or anything else we need." Chance explained. "And who would we invite? The Moose's? Not only are they our competition, but I'm pretty sure no one here wants to hang out with that Russell guy for more than an hour."

TJ looked at them sternly for a moment before laughing. "Good point."

By then Jason had finished unpacking and headed for the door. "Well, I think I'll try to stomach Chef Hatchets food. Who wants to watch force it down, throw up, and then complain about how it's the nastiest thing I've ever tasted?"

The other four got up and followed him out, not because they wanted to watch him barf, but because they were hungry as well. But before Harper was out, Nick grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back. "Hey, you got a sec?"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I know it's still really early in the game, and I'm usually not this conniving, but I think it's a good idea to get an alliance going early… and right now, Harper's really the only one I can trust."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I think an alliance with Nick is a pretty good idea. Not only is he smart, but he's trust worthy. After working with him on Carolina's yacht, I'm sure that he won't turn his back on me."

~MOOSE CABIN, GIRLS SIDE~

"I'm getting a huge adrenaline rush right now." Ashlynn announced as she and the other Moose girls entered their cabin. "Winning that challenge was awesome!"

"You can say that again." Penny agreed. "How about we make a habit of it?"

"Don't get too cocky, guys." Sam warned. "We won this time because the Eagles reacted too quickly and didn't listen to Chris. I doubt they'll make that mistake again… especially since they're the under dogs now."

"Oh, let them have their moment." Payton chuckled. "How often do you survive the first round of a reality show, anyway?"

"For most people, about once every time you're on a reality show." Naomi laughed.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Payton's right. I'll let them have their fun this time." Sam said to the camera. "But I'm not about to forget that we're competing against each other, too. Not only that, but I can tell that some of the Eagles are going to be fierce competition… I'm looking at you, Sakura."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

The girls continued talking about random things as they unpacked and once all of their clothes were put away, sat around chatting some more. The conversation went from one subject to another and they got to know each other. Payton showed that she was a very talented actor and singer, to which the other four girls applauded; Naomi did some drawings which the others thought were amazing; Sam said she was a great drummer, though she obviously couldn't prove it at the moment; Penny was a vegetarian and played on the soccer, softball, and trace teams at her school; and, from the stories that she told, the girls started to see Ashlynn as a bit of a trouble maker. "So I ended up bribing the janitor not to rat me out and my phone hasn't left my side sense." Ashlynn finished.

"So… you snuck into your school just because you left your phone in your locker over night?" Penny questioned, trying to make sense of the story.

"On a weekend!" Ashlynn pointed out.

Penny shrugged and looked out the window. It was still light out and would be fore a few more hours. "Well, I think I'm going to go check out the island, get to know my surroundings and all that."

"Kay. Later." Sam said as Penny left. The rest of the girls decided to sit around the cabin until it was time to eat. Until then… "Poker, anybody?" Sam suggested, pulling a deck of cards out of her bag.

~MOOSE CABIN, BOYS SIDE~

Nicholas was lying on his bed, minding his own business. Allister was doing the same thing on the bed above him. Tak and Dylan were covering their ears, trying to phase out Mr. Muggles incessant yapping as Russell read a magazine that he'd brought with him. No one knew why the rodent of a dog was barking, but it was really annoying… and especially getting on Tak's nerves. "That's it!" Tak shouted as he got up and marched over to the dog. "The mutt stays outside."

Mr. Muggles growled at Tak as Russell snatched up the Pomeranian and hugged it to his chest. "Back off!" he snapped as he stroked the back of the dogs head. The dog started whimpering at its master's touch, obviously faking being scared as far as Tak was concerned. "Oh, it's ok, Mr. Muggles." He said to the dog in a baby talk voice. "That meany won't get anywhere near you."

"Ok, seriously," Dylan spoke up, "That was a little too gay, even for me. Baby talk to your Pomeranian?"

Russell just rolled his eyes and pulled a leash out of his drawer, attaching it to Mr. Muggles collar. "C'mon, Mr. Muggles. Let's get away from the riffraff." The Pomeranian grunted and lifted its nose into the air smugly, as if trying to avoid looking at something beneath its standards. Nicholas chuckled as they left the cabin.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Riffraff?" Nicholas questioned to the camera. "He is the only person smug enough to use that word out loud that I have ever met. I'll be surprised if me makes it passed our first loss."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

As Russell and Mr. Muggles left Allister sighed and shifted his arm slightly. His tarantula, Jeremy, came crawling out of his sleeve and onto the bed. Dylan eyed the boy and the arachnid curiously, with a slight grin. "You let Jeremy crawl around in your clothes?" he asked.

"No…" Allister protested quietly, blushing a little. "I just don't want Russell's dog near him."

Dylan chuckled and jumped onto the top bunk across the room from Allister. "That's cool… so why do you carry him around all the time?" he asked.

"He's my friend." Allister said, starting to mumble. "He's my…" he trailed off, mumbling so that he couldn't be understood.

At this point Nicholas got up and started toward the door. He glared at Dylan briefly. "Why don't you stop harassing the poor kid?" he growled before leaving.

"Harassing?" Dylan questioned, glancing between Tak and Allister. Tak just shrugged as he pulled some small weights out of his bag and started working out his arms. Allister didn't notice his look. He was too busy looking up to the ceiling blankly as Jeremy crawled over his shirt.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I'll get Allister to open up." Dylan said with a mischievous grin. "Just you watch."

~MESS HALL~

"Listen up, maggots!" Chef shouted once all twenty of the campers had arrived at the dreaded mess hall. "I serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day! You will not complain about the food, because you will be getting no other food! If you have any complaints, then get yourself voted off, 'cause I don't give a rats ass about your opinion… any questions?" No response. "Good… now come up and get yer grub."

The campers lines up and one by one were served what looked like Sloppy Joes… but then Carolina noticed hers twitch. She would've said something, but she was honestly scared of Chef after his little speech. Only Dylan, Penny, and Russell said a thing to Chef. "I don't eat meat." Dylan and Penny said simultaneously.

"Then eat the bread." Chef growled as he served Russell.

Russell eyed the food coldly and grimaced. "Yeah, I'm not eating this. Make me a steak… actually, how about two. Mr. Muggles is hungry." The Pomeranian at his side yapped once and started to pant.

Chef glared at him and lifted his hand above the counter, revealing that he was holding a butchering knife. "Boy, you are either really stupid or really brave… either way, your going to end up being tomorrows meal if you don't go sit down and eat right now."

No one saw Russell move. They heard a yap as the leash pulled on Mr. Muggles collar and he was instantly sitting next to Ashlynn at the table, forcing down a bite of Chef's food.

"Heed the words of Chef Hatchet." Nicholas chuckled.

Over at the Eagle table, everyone was busy watching in awe as Lena casually at Chef's food without gagging or complaining or anything. "Dude…" TJ said, slack jawed.

"What?" Lena questioned as she swallowed the last of her sandwich. "It's really not that bad."

"It moves." Carolina said bluntly.

Lena just shrugged and took a tooth pick from a tray on the table, picking some leftover meat from between her teeth as she leaned back in her chair.

"So…" Jason said as everyone's attention left Lena, "… have any of you guys voted yet? Chance and I have."

Before anyone could say a thing, Chris walked in with a disappointed look and his arms crossed. "Eagles… a word outside, if you don't mind?" Everyone, with the exception of Jason and Chance, got up and followed Chris outside. He led them straight to the confessional outhouse. "Vote… **NOW!**"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"You screwed up this challenge." Sakura growled as she stuffed her vote in the box.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Sorry, but this has to be done." TJ.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"It's nothing personal." Ayame.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"You seem like too much of a hazard." Harper.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"You made this personal when you brought in that polluting monster of a boat." Lena.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I'm not cleaning up your mistake again." Nick.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Gotta eliminate the good competition early, right?" Kyra.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"We're both at fault, and it's either you or me." Carolina.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Back in the mess hall, only the Moose team was left. After the Eagles had left and Jason and Chance had forced down their food, Jason and Chance returned to their cabin to prepare themselves for the up coming bonfire ceremony. The Moose girls were deep in conversation, the topic changing rapidly. The boys, on the other hand were mostly keeping to themselves, with the exception of Dylan who was trying to get Allister to talk. Allister occasionally responded, but only with a single word and without eye contact. Tak and Nicholas were just keeping to themselves, eating slowly. Russell was trying to get Mr. Muggles to eat Chef's food, but the dog just turned its nose up at it, refusing to eat.

"C'mon, Muggley-poo. You've got to eat something." Russell urged. The dog just turned away from him. "I really don't blame you. I don't want to eat this slop either." A knife suddenly fly passed Russell's head and stabbed into the table.

"You don't want to eat what now?" Chef questioned darkly.

Tak and Nicholas chuckled at this and Russell glared at them. "Hey, at least I have enough pride to know when I'm above stuff like this." Russell snapped at them. Chef resisted the urge to throw another knife as Tak and Nicholas rolled their eyes.

"Pride is one of the seven deadly sins." Nicholas pointed out, bumping fists with Tak.

Russell just rolled his eyes and picked up Mr. Muggles. "Neanderthals." He growled before leaving.

"Neanderthals were actually a highly intelligent branch of the human race during their time!" Nicholas called. Russell twitched as he went through the doors, resisting the urge to shout back.

"Two burns in a row. Nice." Sam complemented.

"I do what I can." Nicholas replied.

"What's his problem, anyway?" Penny asked.

"Spoiled, snobby, egotistical… he's a jack ass." Tak said. "Still, I don't think we can get rid of him just yet…"

"Why?" Payton asked.

"He's a lot like Heather from last season." Tak pointed out. "He's manipulative and willing to do anything to win. Give him a few chances, keep him on the team for a while, and we might win a majority of the challenges before the teams are dissolved."

"And then?" Naomi asked.

"And then we strike." Tak grinned.

"But what if we lose?" Ashlynn asked. "Who do we vote off if we lose and he's our secret weapon?"

"Whoever's fault it is." Nicholas said.

Everyone in the conversation went silent from there, thinking over the possibility of voting off one of them, the nice people, in favor of keeping an asshole like Russell just out of the slim possibility of winning a few challenges. Was that the right idea? "Look, all but one of us will be voted off eventually anyway. There's only a one in twenty chance that it won't be you." Tak explained. Everyone agreed with that.

From there the alliance was final. With the exception of Allister and Dylan, everyone on the team would try to keep Russell in the game unless he severely pissed them off.

Meanwhile, Dylan was still busy still busy trying to get Allister to talk to him. "C'mon. You've got to have some friends back home." Allister just scooted down a few seats and continued eating.

Naomi giggled as she watched them. "Don't they look so cute together?" she asked, turning to Sam.

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

The ten campers on the Shrieking Eagle team silently walked to the bonfire one by one and took their seats next to the fire. Chris was already standing at his podium with a plate of marshmallows sitting before him. Harper was the last to arrive, having dosed off a couple hours earlier. When all ten had finally arrived, Chris started his speech. "At camp, marshmallows are a tasty treat that you enjoy after a long day of humdrum activities that your parents forced you into, yes, I added that part for laughs." None of the campers even chuckled. Chris just rolled his eyes. "But here at Total Drama Island, marshmallows represent life. If you do not receive a marshmallow tonight, you're dead. Willingly or not, you will walk the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and go home… and you can't come back… ever!"

"What about when Eva and Izzy returned last season?" Sakura pointed out.

"Don't ask questions." Chris snapped. "Now, when I call your name, please come up and claim your marshmallow… Harper."

Harper smiled, thought slightly surprised to be called first, and went up to get his marshmallow.

"Nick."

Nick nodded in satisfaction and went up to claim his safety.

"Ayame… Jason… Lena… TJ… Sakura… Kyra."

Chris looked down to the plate. There was only one left. "Chance, Carolina, this is the final marshmallow of the night." He said. "If I don't call your name, you are doomed to a life of people recognizing you from TV and a sudden increase of friend requests on Myspace… but you will not be famous and you will have no money."

Chance and Carolina briefly glared at each other but kept there attention on Chris who was pausing for dramatic effect. "And the final marshmallow of the evening goes too… Carolina."

"Yeah!" Carolina shouted gleefully as she ran up to Chris and took the last Marshmallow from the plate.

Chris turned to Chance. "Sorry bro, but the Boat of Losers awaits."

Chance didn't know what to do. He just sat there glaring at his former team mates. It was almost like he refused to leave. After a few moments of silence, Jason spoke up. "Hey, Chance, I dare you to walk the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, go home and never come back… ever." He said.

Upon the word "dare" Chance jumped to his feet and ran for the dock.

"That… was hilarious." Chris said. "So, to you remaining Eagles, congratulations and enjoy your Marshmallows. You're safe… for now." with that Chris walked off, disappearing into Chef's mess hall. The remaining nine Eagles each took one of the marshmallow sticks that Chris had left for them, shoved their marshmallows on the end, and placed them over the fire.

"Let's show those Moose what we're made of next time." Sakura said, raising her stick into the air for a toast. The others did the same. "To the Shrieking Eagles!" she continued. "We're going to win this!"

"Yeah!" everyone else shouted.

* * *

(a/n) quick note before I leave. I realize now that letting you guys vote wont exactly make for the best forshadowing, so that ideas out. but, to be fare, I'll let the Moose team eliminate one member too. just thought Id let you know. also, I've already decided the couples, so please don't tell me who you want to be with.


	5. Fun in the Dark Part 1

(a/n) yeah, I know, its been almost a month since Ive updated this story and Im sorry. Ive just been busy with the holidays and whatnot. for the record, you should thank Sanjiandserea, owner of Ayame for reminding me of how long its been. anyway, heres episode 4 of TDD. i hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Episode 4: Fun in the Dark Part 1

"All right, let's get this over with." Chris grumbled as he walked onto the Dock of Shame, slouching with a cup of coffee in his hand. "I hate these early morning recap shoots."

"Hey, I don't like getting up early any more than you do." Steve the camera guy snapped as he started to set up the camera. "And I don't get paid anywhere near what you do. So zip it and let's get this over with."

"Fine, fine, whatever." Chris said, taking one last sip of coffee, fixing his hair a little, and standing in front of the camera with his signature grin. The red light on the camera flickered on and Steve gave him the thumbs up.

"Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… our twenty campers arrived at Playa de Losers where they thought they were going to spend the next eight weeks. There they partied like there was no tomorrow and got to know each other a little. But the next day was the day of there first challenge… which was to find their own way to get to the actual sight of the show: Camp Wawanakwa. Cruel twist, huh? Anyway, Carolina called in her yacht for the Eagle team to catch a ride in while the Moose team was left to ride in canoes… and a jet ski… and the back of the luggage truck. But get this, only one of them had to make it to the island for them to win, so Carolina kind of killed them right there. Yeah, so as it turns out, Chance, the resident jock, ended up breaking the yacht which cost the Eagles the game. In the end, more people were pissed at Chance than Carolina and the meat head was sent packing. Today, we're going to test our camper's skills in one of the most primal fears in human history… the dark. So, who will succumb to this primal fear, who will conquer it, and who will not survive another day at Wawanakwa?... Find out today, on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" A row of explosions went off along the beach and Steve shut off the camera.

"Cut. Print. Crap." Steve stated bluntly.

"Ya think so? Maybe we should redo it…" Chris suggested. The Camera man and the TV host glanced at each other before laughing and walking off the dock.

~LATER~

"All right, let's get moving people!" Chris shouted to his interns. "I want the entrance unblocked before any of the campers wake up."

"Which of the producers thought of this challenge again?" Chef asked.

"It was one of the guys that produced that movie where those girls go cave diving and get eaten by cave people." Chris explained. "Good idea, bad movie."

"Ya got that right." Chef agreed.

Chris and Chef were in the middle of standing around, talking and looking important while all of the interns were breaking their backs moving massive boulders and rocks from the side of the thousand foot cliff to uncover the entrance to something. The interns didn't know what they were uncovering, only that it had something to do with the challenge.

"So Chef, how go the cooking classes?" Chris asked.

"I got kicked out for blowing up the oven last time I was there." Chef gloated.

"Nice!" Chris laughed, bumping fists with the larger man.

"Well what's all this?"

Chris and Chef turned around to find Nicholas walking towards them down the beach. "Aw, crud." Chef said.

"What are you doing up so early?" Chris asked. "It's like, seven thirty." Nicholas just shrugged and watched the interns move more boulders. "Well, whatever. Since you found us, do me a favor and gather the campers here in about three hours. Ok?"

"Do I look like an intern to you?" Nicholas asked sarcastically, walking around them and continuing down the beach.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Way to be subtle, Chris." Nicholas said to the camera, chuckling.

~TOP OF THOUSAND FOOT CLIFF ~

Allister sighed as he watched the sun rise over the lake, sitting on the edge of the thousand foot cliff. He'd been up for about an hour now, woken the noise of Chris ordering the interns around earlier. At first he'd been watching to see what they were up to, but after a few moments he turned to the horizon to watch the sun rise, just wanting to think over the last few days. He had to admit, he was surprised that he was actually having a good time here. Everyone on his team except Russell either had no problem with him or was actually trying to be his friend… especially Dylan. As surprised as he was to admit it, over the last few days he hadn't been nearly as depressed as he was back home. He was actually having fun.

"Enjoying the view, are we?"

Allister looked over his shoulder to find Dylan walking towards him. "I guess." Allister said. "Chris and his minions woke me up"

"All the way out here?" Dylan questioned, sitting down next to him. "But the cabins are on the other side of the island."

"I slept up here last night." Allister explained. "I was watching the stars last night and I just fell asleep."

"Yeah, that's kinda weird." Dylan said, realizing too late that he'd said the wrong thing.

Allister sighed and looked away. "I always am, apparently." He grumbled.

Dylan would've said something, but before he could he was cut off by the ear splitting screech of a megaphone followed by Chris's voice. "Attention Dylan and Allister, please take your romantic moment elsewhere until instructed otherwise. Thank you."

"Get bent, Chris!" Dylan called back, standing up and then offering his hand to help Allister up. Allister ignored him and got up himself. "So, uh…" Dylan quickly thought of something for them to talk about. "Where's Jeremy?" he asked.

Allister continued ignoring him, not mentioning the tarantula sitting on the back of Dylan's shirt.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I said the wrong thing back there, didn't I?" Dylan asked, scratching the back of his head. "But Chris didn't help much… romantic moment. We were just talking!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Dylan sat in the confessional, his head hung with a sad look on his face. He was about to say something, but he decided not to and shut off the camera instead.

~MESS HALL~

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but where the hell is Chef and why hasn't he made breakfast yet?" Sakura complained as she and other campers waited for breakfast. "And I seriously can't believe I'm saying that. His food is disgusting."

"He and Chris are watching the interns break there backs, moving a bunch of rocks." Nicholas said as he walked in, taking a seat at the Moose table.

Sakura stormed across the room, upon hearing Nicholas's words, heading for the door… only to walk right into Chef as he entered the mess hall at the same time. "Finally!" Sakura said. "I don't care what you cook or how disgusting it is, but go cook breakfast fast!"

Chef glared at her, raising one eye brow. "You wanna rephrase that?" he asked darkly. Sakura glared back and stood her ground. "Fine. Your funeral. Now, why don't you go **SIT YA BUTT DOWN AND SHUT UP!** I'll cook when I damn well feel like it." Sakura would've shouted back at him, but Ayame and Kyra grabbed her by the arms and dragged her back to the table before she could.

Everyone remained quiet as Chef stomped into the kitchen. Once he was out of sight they resumed their conversations.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I don't know what that trolls problem is." Sakura said, glaring at the camera. "We're all starving and all we have to eat it his vomit inducing excuses for food. He should be more than happy to cook for us!"

"I heard that, ya little pink haired rat!" Chef yelled from outside of the outhouse.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"So, what do you think today's challenge will be?" Naomi asked her team mates.

Penny shrugged. "Remember watching the awake-a-thon last season. If it's anything that brutal then we're in for it."

"I don't think it will be that bad this time." Dylan said. "… unless, of course, they start pelting us with potato guns. That would make for an interesting challenge… wait a minute, are potato guns lethal?"

At that moment Chris walked in, sporting his signature grin and a couple flashlights sticking out of his pocket. "Campers, how the heck are ya?" he asked enthusiastically.

"Hi Chris…" Lena said dreamily. The others just grunted or did nothing at all.

"Ok, here's the deal. You all have an hour and a half to eat and then get your emotional garbage for the day done with. Your challenge begins then at the base of the thousand foot cliff… oh, and before I forget," he grabbed the flashlights from his pocket and tossed one to Payton, and the other to Nick. "You might wanna hold onto these. You're going to need them." With that he walked out of the mess hall, chuckling.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Ah, the flashlight." Nick said. "The universally understood sign for, 'you're about to do something completely moronic in the dark that can more than likely kill you!' This aught to be fun."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

After stomaching as much as they could of what Chef called bacon and eggs, the nineteen campers headed out around camp to mentally prepare themselves for the upcoming deathtrap that Chris had in store for them. Some went back to the cabins to just lie on their beds and relax; others started exorcizing, warming up for any physically demanding tasks; and others just walked around, talking to each other.

TJ and Jason were walking along the beach, having a seemingly random conversation. "So you have a band back home? Think you could play at one of my parties some time?"

"Dude, you live here in Canada. I'm from Manhattan. That's not exactly a five minute drive." Jason protested.

"I live right across the border from Buffalo, where Niagara Falls is. Two hour drive from New York, play a few songs, hang out for a bit, and your band just got a hundred bucks, each."

Jason paused, thinking it over. "Tempting." He said.

"There'll be a dart board with Chris's face taped on it." TJ added.

"I'm in." Jason agreed.

They were about to shake hands, sealing the deal, when TJ noticed Kyra sitting on the beach not far away. "All right, time for me to work my magic." He said with a grin. "I'll see you at the challenge, Jason. Go make out with Sakura or something."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Go make out with Sakura or something." Jason mocked, rolling his eyes. "Jackass."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Jason headed for the cabin while TJ walked over to Kyra. Kyra still hadn't noticed him. She was watching a video on her iPod, the headphones drowning out any other noise. Curious, TJ snuck up behind her to see what she was watching. It was a video of herself fighting some guy using martial arts he didn't recognize. From what he could tell, she was pretty good at it. But Kyra didn't seem to have the same opinion. The way she watched the video, it was like she was studying it, watching for flaws she needed to correct.

"Man, you're pretty good at that." TJ said.

Kyra jumped in surprise and looked over her shoulder to find him. "Damn, TJ. Don't sneak up on me like that." she said, breathing heavily.

"Sorry." TJ said, sitting next to her. "But like I said, from what I just saw you're pretty good at that… uh, what fighting style is that?"

"Just karate." Kyra said. "And I'm not that good."

TJ took a quickly look at the iPod's screen to make sure he knew what he was talking about. "You've got a brown belt… that's good, right?"

"Yeah." Kyra agreed. "But I can still do better."

TJ nodded. "So, what else are you into?" he asked.

"I like to sing and dance, I read a lot, and a do a little writing."

"Wow." TJ chuckled. "Your parents must be really proud."

Kyra lowered her head and sighed. "No… they're not." She said sadly. "I've been living in a small apartment with my cousin Rachel for a few months now… I haven't even spoken to my parents since I moved in with her."

"Whoa, harsh." TJ said. "Is it ok if I ask what happened?"

"I'd rather you didn't." Kyra sighed, tears starting to appear in the corners of her eyes.

TJ quickly decided to change the subject, not wanting to upset her. "So… what do you say we head for the cliff?" he suggested. "The challenge should start soon and the others are probably headed there already." He stood up and offered his hand to her. Kyra smiled and whipped the tears out of her eyes, taking his hand so he could help her up.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"TJ's a great guy, and there's no way he could've known I'd get upset when talking about my family." Kyra said to the camera. "He's just trying to get to know me better, and honestly," She paused as her face flushed red slightly. "…I don't mind one bit."

~BEHIND EAGLE CABIN~

"So, its' agreed then." Nick said. He and Harper were standing behind the Eagle cabin, discussing things about their alliance. "If we loose again today, we vote for Sakura because she's the biggest threat."

"Right." Harper agreed.

With their decision made, they started their way to the cliff… unfortunately, Harper's foot hit an old brick sticking out of the ground, probably part of an old cabin support, and he tripped over it landing with a loud thud.

"What the hell was that?"

As luck would have it, Ayame happened to be in the cabin. She ran outside to the back to see what had happened and a suspicious look crossed her face as soon as she spotted Nick and Harper. "What are you guys doing back here?" she demanded.

"Nothing! Nothingatall!" Harper blurted as he got back to his feet. "Wecertainlyweren'tpeepingifthat'swhatyou'rethinking!"

"Oh jeez." Nick groaned, slapping his forehead.

Ayame just cocked an eyebrow before walking up to Harper and lightly slapping his face before turning to Nick. "You mind explaining?" she asked sternly.

Nick sighed and nodded. "Ok, first off, he wasn't lying when he said we weren't peeping. We were discussing who to vote off in case we loose today's challenge and we don't exactly want anyone hearing us. If you must know, we have an alliance."

"Really?" Ayame questioned, showing a sudden interest.

"Just don't tell anyone." Nick said.

Ayame grinned mischievously and held up two fingers. "Two conditions." She said. "First, I want in on this alliance… which leads into my second condition, you'd better not vote for me."

"Fine." Nick agreed, shaking her hand to seal the deal. "We were planning to vote for Sakura anyway."

"Welcome to the…" Harper started, but Ayame cut him off, pressing the tip of her index finger against his lips to quiet him.

"Do yourself a favor and quit talking before you say something stupid and I slap you harder this time." She advised, winking at him. Harper blushed, stepping back and tripping over the brick again.

"What was that?" they heard Lena say from inside the cabin.

"Crap." Ayame said. "Let's get out of here before this becomes a four way alliance." She suggested, pulling Harper to his feet before the three of them took off, heading for the cliff.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Ayame sat in the confessional booth, chuckling to herself. "Wow, who would've guessed that I could blackmail my way into an alliance like that?" she asked the camera. "And an alliance with two cute guys at that."

~BASE OF THOUSAND FOOT CLIFF~

The nineteen campers gathered around Chris, standing on the beach just a few yards away from the base of the thousand foot cliff. To everyone's annoyance, Russell had brought Mr. Muggles with him and for unknown reasons, there was a large piece of wood leaning against the side of the cliff. As usual, Chris had his signature grin and was obviously impatiently waiting to announce the challenge. Ready, campers?" he asked, receiving no protest. "Good. First of all, Nick, Payton, you still have those flashlights, right?" They both nodded. "Good, so here's your challenge."

For seemingly no reason, the wood leaning against the cliff suddenly fell over, revealing the entrance of a cave in the side of the cliff. "Time for a history lesson, campers!" Chris announced. "Before this island became Camp Wawanakwa and long before we started filming this show here, there was a mine here. The system of tunnels still runs beneath this island to this very day… firmly supported so that they don't collapse of course. Today, your challenge is to make your way through the mines, which, for the record, it pretty much a labyrinth. All you have to do is be the first team with all members exiting the mines. And for the record, there are multiple exits... any questions?"

"Yeah, are you sure that the mine wont collapse?" Sam asked.

"Ok, if there are no questions then get going, you crazy kids!" Chris said, intentionally ignoring Sam. There was a brief silence as the campers pondered whether to go or not, followed by loud yelling as they all rushed passed him into the mines. Chris snickered and pulled out a cell-phone. "Chef, cue the rockslide." He said. A few seconds later, a few large bolder crashed down in front of the mine entrance, blocking it.

~INSIDE THE MINES~

"Are you guys sure Chris isn't a psycho?" Ashlynn asked. "Because **HE JUST…"**

She was cut off when Nicholas covered her mouth with his hand. "Are you trying to get us killed?" he demanded. "Do you know how old these mines are? We have to be quiet or else the entire structure could collapse. Now you, and I mean all of you, had better keep quiet. Do you understand?" Ashlynn nodded and everyone else agreed. "Good." Nicholas said, stepping away from Ashlynn.

From there the two teams walked down the first tunnel until they reached a fork in the mine. There was no discussion about it; the Shrieking Eagles took the left tunnel while the Raging Moose took the right.

~LEFT TUNNEL~

The Eagle team carefully made their way deeper into the mines, Nick with the flashlight in the lead. It was defiantly creepy down there, with the sound of bats flying around in the distance as well as nearby rats, among other small annoying creatures.

Carolina let out a small yelp but quickly covered her mouth. "What's wrong?" Lena asked.

"Something just brushed passed my leg." She said, he voice sounding shaky. "Kill it, kill it, kill it!"

Lena rolled her eyes. "Carolina, you're going to have to face the truth. Nick, throw me the flashlight." He tossed it to her and she pointed it to the ground. Carolina's eyes grew to the size of tractor tires when she saw how many cockroaches and other bugs crawling around her feet. Kyra barely managed to cover her mouth before she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Once Carolina agreed to not scream again, Kyra removed her hand. "Bugs really creep me out." she said.

"Hey, how do you think I feel?" Kyra asked sternly. "I can't see my hand in front of my face and I hate tight spaces.

"Would you two quit complaining?" Nick demanded as he took the flashlight away from Lena. "If we don't win this challenge today we're going to seriously be behind."

"Then let's get going, Nick." Sakura said, snatching the flashlight from him. She would've said more, but at that very second the flashlight went dead. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Yeah…" Chris said, chuckling. "Did I forget to mention that the batteries were half dead when I handed them out? This should make for good ratings. Cue the night vision cameras."

~RIGHT TUNNEL~

"Great, now we can't see anything." Russell complained. Ironically, the Moose team's flashlight had died simultaneously with the Eagle teams. Any idea how we're going to get out of here now?"

"Well, we obviously can't rely on our sight, which I think was Chris's plan the whole time." Penny pointed out. We'll have to use our other senses to their fullest just to find our way around, let alone get out of here."

"Penny's right." Tak agreed. "Everyone find a wall and start following it with your hands. If you find another tunnel, say something right away."

Everyone did as Tak instructed and went to the nearest wall. They slowly started down the tunnel, feeling the wall for any turns and it wasn't long before they found one. "There's another path over here." Payton said.

"But this one keeps going." Tak said. "So which one do we take?"

"Quiet!" Penny demanded. She listened for a moment. "I can't hear anything from either path."

"And that means?" Russell asked, rolling his eyes. "It means that either path could be a dead end, or we're no deep enough in the mines to hear bats or a breeze… Either one is worth investigating."

"Well we can't afford to split up." Dylan pointed out.

"Dylan's right." Nicholas agreed. "I say we agree on one and stick with it. If it's a dead end we'll turn around and try the other one."

Everyone agreed and started down the path that Payton had found, but Penny stopped them at the last second. "Wait." She said. "I can hear something…" She ran her hands over the walls until she felt something furry and she grabbed it. "It's a bat!" she announced. "We're on the right--ow!" she yelped, tossing the bat out of her hand. "Little sucker bit me!"

Unfortunately, when Penny threw the bat… she threw it right into Naomi's face and she screamed loudly. Everyone froze and waited for something to happen. Naomi quickly clapped her hands over her mouth. At first it seemed like nothing would happen, but before long everything started shaking and rocks started falling from the ceiling. Everyone scattered.


	6. Fun in the Dark Part 2

Episode 5: Fun in the Dark Part 2

"Ok, so here's the deal." Nicholas said to the confessional camera. "When Naomi screamed, she caused a cave in. Rocks are falling from the ceiling and everyone's panicking and running in different directions. And things only get worse from there, because who do I end up trapped with? Mr. Depression and the two idiots who caused the cave in!"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"This royally blows." Nicholas complained.

"I am so, so sorry! It caught me by surprise and I wasn't thinking straight…" Naomi groaned and slapped her forehead. "I am so voted off for this."

"Hey, it's my fault you screamed in the first place." Penny pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but who else is going to see it that way?" Naomi argued.

"Keep your voices down!" Allister suddenly broke in. They expected him to say more, but he remained quiet, expecting Nicholas to take his place, which he did."

"Allister's right." he said. "We've already made the mistake of letting our volume slip once, let's not do it again. Let's just stick together, try to find a way out of here, and hope that the others are still alive and able to make it out as well." Everyone agreed and they started down the only available path they had.

"You sure you're not mad at me?" Naomi asked.

"Positive." Penny reassured her. "And I bet nobody else does, either."

~ELSEWHERE~

"I can't believe she caused a cave in! This is all Naomi's fault! She is **SO** voted off…" Russell complained, Mr. Muggles growling in agreement.

"Would you give it a rest already?" Payton demanded.

"Yeah, we can worry about being pissed at Naomi later." Tak agreed. "Right now I just want to get out of here alive."

As luck would have it, the cave in caused Tak and Payton to be trapped with the one person that they had absolutely no chance of cooperating with: Russell… and his ankle biter, Mr. Muggles. At the moment they were all just sitting around, trying to get their focus back.

"And how do you suggest we do that, mister big shot?" Russell demanded, his Pomeranian yapping along with him. "If you haven't noticed, we can't see a damn thing, our teams been split up, some are more than likely dead, and to top things off there's a very big possibility that we won't even be able to get out of here and we're just using up what little oxygen we have!"

"Ok, that's it!" Payton growled. "I swear, if you and that demon mutt don't shut up right now I will find a way to bound and gag both of you and I'll leave you here to die while the rest of us escape. So, from here on out, I suggest you think before you speak. Got it mister big shot?"

Russell was about to retort, but before he could he heard Mr. Muggles sniffing something and knelt down. "What is it, boy?" he asked. "What're you smelling?"

"Wait a minute, that's it!" Tak said suddenly, moving over to the Pomeranian and scratching it behind the ears. "You're one smart dog, even if you're evil."

"What do you think you're doing, touching Mr. Muggles?" Russell demanded, picking up the dog and hugging it to his chest. "Did he hurt you, sweety-kins?"

"Don't you get it, pin head?" Tak demanded. "If that dog can smell anything down here, its' probably air… an if Chef is cooking something, I can guarantee this will work! If we let him lead us around, we have a sure fire shot at finding the nearest exit and getting out of here alive!"

"Oh my god, Tak! You're a genius!" Payton said. "Let's give it a shot."

Against his egotistical ways, Russell set his dog back down and they started following it through the darkness. "This had better work." he growled.

"I'll be damned if it doesn't." Tak said.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Looks like I was right after all." Tak said. "Russell is useful in a pinch… or at least his mutt is. He's worth keeping around, at least until we reach the final ten."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Tak was just showing off." Russell said, rolling his eyes. "I could've thought of that, easily."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Thank the gods Tak is so smart." Payton sighed. "I honestly think I would be a rotting corps down in those mines if it weren't for him… and I guess Russell helped too."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

About fifteen minutes later Mr. Muggles, Russell, Tak, and Payton turned a corner and found… a wall of rocks with a few beams of light breaking through. Russell's jaw dropped and he clinched his fist. "Son of a bitch!" he shouted. "Nice going, Tak. You're little idea lead us to a dead end!" He heard Mr. Muggles whimpering and knelt down and scratched the Pomeranian under his chin. "It's not your fault, Mugsy." he said. "Daddy's not yelling at you."

"You really have no respect for anyone, do you?" Payton asked, not expecting or needing an answer. "Nice try, Tak. It was a good idea."

"Are you guys blind? We're home free!" Tak said enthusiastically. "All we have to do is move these rocks and we're out of here!"

"Why didn't we just do that when we got separated from the others?" Russell questioned.

"Because we couldn't see our hands in front of our faces, that's why." Tak said.

"Well, let's get to work." Payton said.

It took them quite a while, but it was worth it when all three of them (and Mr. Muggles, were able to crawl through the small opening they'd made in the rubble and take in the fresh air.

"Way to go, guys." Chris said as he walked up to them. "You're first out of the mines."

"All right!" Tak and Payton shouted, high-fiving each other.

"Yeah, great." Russell said, looking at Chris. "I hope you enjoy the lawsuit you get from me after the show is over. Mr. Muggles and I almost died in there!" Chris just smiled and pulled some papers out of nowhere, apparently insurance forms with Russell's signature on them. Russell just growled and turned away from him and stormed off.

~INSIDE THE MINES~

"Ok… how do we get out of here?" Ashlynn asked

"Well, lets think this through." Dylan suggested. "We can't see a thing, we have no idea if we're even near an exit, there are probably more walls of rubble blocking our path and… oh yeah, **I TWISTED MY ANKLE!**" It was true. Right after Naomi screamed and everyone panicked, Dylan managed to twist his ankle and then, by some miracle, limp out of the way of the falling rocks.

"We know, Dylan." Sam said, obviously annoyed by his complaining. "But you have to admit, he is right, Ashlynn. Unless one of us suddenly gets night vision and a backhoe, we're in so pretty deep trouble."

Ashlynn sighed, leaning against the wall and running her fingers through her hair. "I guess we'll have to just start wandering around and hope for the best. It's not like we can get in a worse situation than this."

Dylan and Sam couldn't think of anything better to do, so the girls pulled Dylan up and helped him limp along with him as they explored blindly through the mines. Surprisingly, they weren't as trapped as they'd previously thought. They couldn't even count how many tunnels they went down and how many more they passed by. It actually wasn't long at all before they came to a large open chamber with… "Light!" There was a large hole in the ceiling of the cave with sky, trees, and birds visible through it. "All right, we're going to live!" Ashlynn cheered.

"Not necessarily." Sam said, ruining the moment. "How are we going to get up there? It's not like we can fly."

"You know, you really know how to kill the mood." Dylan said bluntly.

As luck would have it, the mood was restored only seconds later, as Chris appeared looking down at them from the hole with his megaphone in hand. "Congratulations, Ashlynn, Dylan, and Sam." he said as he kicked down a rope latter for them. "Now get up here and join Chef and I in watching the rest of the campers suffer… Dylan, I know you're injured so we'll lower a stretcher for you in a few minutes."

As promised, it only took a few minutes for all of them to get out of the mines and into the fresh air. Dylan was immediately sent to the infirmary to have Chef check out his ankle while Ashlynn and Sam, instead of going with Chris to watch the others being tortured, opted to go back to their cabin instead.

~INSIDE THE MINES~

"Fresh air this way." Lena said as she turned the corner into another tunnel, Nick and Harper following close behind. "We should only be a few minutes away from freedom, boys."

"You know, I'd say we've gotten the best of this situation." Nick said. "Who would've guessed we have a one woman rescue team with us."

Lena laughed. "I wouldn't go that far. There's no way I'd be able to move any of boulders that split us from the others."

"So how do you know so much about this stuff, Lena?" Harper asked.

"I've been cave diving before." Lena explained.

"And how'd that go?" Nick asked.

"My team was attacked and eaten by freaky cave people and I was the only one able to make it out alive." Lena stated, laughing afterwards.

"That's the story line from the decent." Harper pointed out.

Lena would've said something back, but as she was about to she stopped walking and glanced around. From the dim light that was now illuminating their tunnel, Nick and Harper could clearly see her eyes go wide. "Oh crap…" Lena said. "We're dead…"

"You have better be joking again." Nick warned, finishing just in time to hear someone or something make a loud sound from somewhere in the cave.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"How was I supposed to know that the mines would lead us right into the bears cave?" Lena questioned, shrugging her shoulders. "Good thing it was just Carolina yelling about the bugs."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!" Carolina shouted as she ran down the tunnel, heading straight for Lena, Nick, and Harper. "Get them off, get them off, get them off!" Just as she was about to run passed them, Nick grabbed her by the arm and covered her mouth with his hand.

"In this order." he said. "Yes, we're alive. Yes, we're glad you're alive. And shut the hell up before you cause another cave in!" Carolina calmly nodded and Nick backed away from her.

"Sorry." she said. "I was just attacked by a… swarm… of…"

"Bugs?" Harper finished for her.

"Bear…" Carolina muttered.

"Bear?" All three questioned, only then hearing a deep breathing coming from behind them. They turned around slowly to find themselves staring face to face with the black eyes, razor fangs, and rancid breath of a full grown grizzly bear. It glared at them for a moment before roaring, sending all four campers running for their lives, screaming like little girls.

Just outside of the bears cave, Chris stood waiting for them. They went right passed him with the bear in close pursuit, not even noticing the show's host as they ran for their lives, save for Lena who stopped to wave quickly before resuming her run. "That's four for the Eagle team and six for the Moose team." Chris said, laughing afterwards. "I had no idea the mines were connected to the cave." The grin on his face obviously gave away that he knew the whole time.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Chris is a genius, you know." Lena said to the camera. "Having the bear cave being one of the exits, that's got to be the funnies thing I've seen. Sure, I almost got mauled by a bear, but I know Chris knows what he's doing." She then blew a kiss to the camera. "Bye Chris!"

~INSIDE THE MIMES~

Kyra groaned and rubbed her forehead as she got to her feet. She felt something cold and sticky against her hand. "Please don't be blood." she grumbled. The cave in had taken a lot out of her. When the rocks started fallen she ran for it and ended up tripping, hitting her head on the ground. Now she wasn't feeling the greatest.

"Kyra? Are you all right?" TJ asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Sounded like you hit something when you tripped." Ayame said.

Kyra nodded, even though the others couldn't see. "I hit my head when I fell. Now My head is pounding, I don't feel good, I'm pretty sure I'm disoriented, and I'm bleeding as far as I can tell."

"Oh crap." TJ said. "We've got to get you out of here, fast. Hop on." He kneeled down in front of her, offering to carry her.

"I'm pretty sure I can walk, TJ." Kyra chuckled.

"You just said you were disoriented. I'm not taking any chances." TJ insisted. "Now hop on. Ayame, you lead the way."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"TJ is such a sweet guy." Kyra, now with white bandages around her head, said to the camera. "He was so worried about my injury… I think he might like me." She blushed as she drifted into her thoughts.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Kyra rode on TJ's back as Ayame lead them through the mines. It was quite literally a labyrinth, and since they couldn't see a thing they couldn't tell whether they were making progress or just getting lost. Either way, Kyra admitted to herself that she was glad she didn't walk because even on TJ's back she was starting to get a little dizzy.

"Hold on, guys." Ayame warned. "I think it's starting to get brighter… I can kinda see my hands and… and I smell fresh air!"

"How can you tell?" TJ asked.

"I'm pretty sure anyone can tell the difference between fresh air and musty cave air." Ayame said smugly. "Let's go this way." She pulled them around another corner and they started down that tunnel. It wasn't long before TJ and Kyra could see as well, no matter how faintly. Eventually Ayame led them around another corner and they were face to face with their exit, Chris standing just outside the cave.

"You still awake, Kyra?" TJ asked.

"That light is practically blinding. Of course I'm awake." Kyra said, actually feeling better that she had been a few moments ago.

The three raced out into the open. "Congrats, guys. You just turned the odds in your teams favor." Chris said. "Kyra, Chef is waiting for you at the infirmary, and you two are free to do as you wish." TJ immediately raced off to the infirmary with Kyra still on his back.

"Aw…" Ayame said, giggling. "They make a cute couple."

Chris slapped his palm to his forehead and sighed. "I am really getting tired of these romance speculations." He then looked at the camera. "And what are you looking at? Cut to the next clip already!"

~INSIDE THE MINES~

"It's official." Jason sighed. "We're going to die down here of starvation or suffocation… whichever comes first." Long story short, Jason and Sakura were actually trapped between two piles of rubble with no other tunnels.

"Way to be positive, Mr. Sunshine." Sakura said sarcastically.

"Hey, I don't exactly see you with a big smile and a cheerful attitude." Jason retorted.

"You can't see me at all." Sakura growled.

Jason would've snapped back at her, but he knew it would accomplish nothing. Instead he took a deep breath and relaxed. "You're right. I'm sorry. We shouldn't be fighting. We should just try to stay alive until Chris realizes we're trapped."

"If they bother." Sakura groaned.

They were silent for a while after that, just sitting around in the cold and dark, waiting to be rescued. It wasn't long though, before they couldn't help but speak to each other. It started with their mutual interest in guitars and branched off from there. It took about fifteen minutes, but eventually the topic turned to the others on their team. "Yeah, Lena is seriously crushing on Chris." Sakura laughed. "To bad she's sixteen and he's… at least in his late twenties. So, yeah, it's illegal."

"Not to mention that he's a psycho." Jason pointed out.

"That too… So what about the others?"

"Well, you're going to laugh about this… TJ thinks that…" Jason started, but Sakura interrupted him.

"That you and I have a thing?" she finished.

"Yeah… How did you know?"

"The girls and I were talking in the cabin. They flat out said that I like you."

"Ok, they're crazy and so is TJ." Jason said. "I don't think anything's going to happen between us."

If he could've seen anything, Jason would've noticed the pink haired girl raising one eyebrow and giving him a stern look. "What's that supposed to mean?" she questioned.

"Nothing." Jason said. "I just don't think we're going to happen."

"And why is that?" Sakura questioned, he voice starting to sound irritated. "Am I not good enough for you or something?"

"What? No! It's nothing like that."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Chris sat in the confessional with a look of disappointment. "Ok, for the record I think that cutting these clips is seriously wrong. But the producers want this to be a show fit for kids ages twelve and up, so we have to cut a lot of it out for language reasons… However, you will be able to see the unedited version on the TDI website." With that, he flashed his signature grin and shut off the camera.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Yeah, well you look like you walked out of a bad Guitar Hero rip-off!" Sakura shouted. "Those 3D glasses make you look like a total nerd! What do you have to say to that?"

"Your hair is a ridiculous color and your forehead is big enough to land a plane on." Jason said quickly, laughing hysterically afterwards.

"**WHY YOU NO GOOD PIECE OF-**" Sakura shouted, charging at where she thought Jason was. Unfortunately, she ran straight into a wall… which collapsed as soon as she hit it. "What the?… A fake wall?"

Sakura got to her feet and walked into the newly discovered "chamber", Jason following her at a safe distance. It was a small room full of monitors, buttons, and a coffee maker on a table. Chris was sitting in a chair on wheels wearing a camouflage cap. "Oh, come on! You're not supposed to find the monitor room!"

"You mean to tell me that we were trapped in there for god knows how long and you were **JUST TEN FEET AWAY THE WHOLE TIME!**" Sakura shouted.

"Uh…" Chris paused, quickly thinking his way out of this situation. "Congratulations! You've just won invincibility for your team!"

Sakura quickly forgot her rage and cheered, punching the air in victory.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Don't think this is over, Jason." Sakura growled. "I'll personally guarantee that you're the next Eagle on the boat of losers… asshole."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Jason and Sakura returned to camp, both going into their side of the cabin and slamming the door behind them and threatening to kill anyone who made a joke. It didn't take long after that for Naomi, Penny, Allister, and Nicholas to exit the mines and make their way back to camp. The second they entered the cabin, everyone else glared at Naomi.

"Where's Dylan?" Allister asked.

"In the infirmary." Ashlynn said. "He twisted his ankle, so he'll be resting for a while." Allister nodded and immediately turned around, going to check on Dylan. Ashlynn giggled before joining the others in glaring at Naomi.

"Well well, what are we going to do with you?" Russell said.

"I'm really, really sorry." Naomi pleaded. "It wasn't my fault."

"Wasn't your fault?" Sam demanded. "Don't you remember what the guy on the other team said? No matter what, you keep your voice down in there."

"Hey, don't blame her!" Penny snapped. "I was the one who threw the bat in her face by accident."

"Penny's right." Nicholas agreed. "We can't blame Naomi for what happened. It was just an impulse. Any of you would've done the exact same thing… except maybe Penny who picked up the bat in the first place."

Russell was going to say something, but Tak spoke before he could. "This isn't the time or place to discuss this." he said. "Everyone just keep your thoughts to yourself and try to act civil until the bonfire ceremony."

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

The ten Raging Moose reluctantly made their way to the bonfire where Chris waited behind the podium with a plate of marshmallows. First came Russell and Mr. Muggles, followed quickly by Tak, Ashlynn, Payton, and Sam. Naomi appeared soon after with Nicholas and Penny at her side, almost looking like body guards. Allister and Dylan were the last to arrive, Allister having to help Dylan there. Once everyone was seated, Chris began his speech. "I honestly didn't expect to you guys here so soon. I guess the Eagles aren't as easy competition as you thought, eh?"

"Just get on with it." Sam growled.

"When I call your name, please come up and claim your marshmallow." Chris continued. "Russell."

Russell grinned in satisfaction and claimed his marshmallow, giving a small piece to Mr. Muggles.

"Dylan." Chris tossed the marshmallow to him. "Ok, let's see here." Chris said, pulling up a piece of paper and a pair of glasses. "Tak… Sam… Ashlynn… Allister… Payton… Nicholas."

Only one marshmallow left. Naomi and Penny glanced at each other. "Ladies, this is the final marshmallow of the night. Whichever one of you doesn't get it, is gone. Doomed to the dock of shame where you must board the boat of losers… and you can't come back… ever! The final marshmallow goes to… Penny."

Penny was glad that she was safe for the night, but was still sad to see Naomi go. She hugged her friend before going to get her marshmallow, saying, "I promise I didn't vote for you."

"I know." Naomi said before getting up and heading for the dock. "See you at the finale, everyone!"

~LATER~

Russell sat quietly on the steps of the Moose cabin, Mr. Muggles silently snoozing on his lap. Everyone else on his team was still at the bonfire, and everyone on the other team was probably asleep or just hanging out inside their cabin. He didn't mid at all. To him, everyone else on the island was just another nameless face that he would forget after the show was over. "No reason to associate with those lowlifes, right Mr. Muggles?" The Dog just yawned.

"Hey."

Russell looked up from his dog to find Tak and Payton standing at the foot of the steps. "What do you want?" he asked.

"We just wanted to say thanks for helping out in the challenge earlier." Payton said.

"Yeah." Tak agreed. "We couldn't have done it without you."

Russell looked them over for a second. This had to be a trick, he knew it. "Whatever." he grumbled, picking up his dog and getting up, walking into the boys side of the cabin.

"What a grouch." Payton said.

"Yeah." Tak agreed. "But he's still useful to the team."

"You sure its worth it?"

"Well… I've been wrong before."

* * *

(a/n) appologies to janey1097, your character was 2nd off the island... though I guess it doesnt really matter since you have a second character anyway... also, appologies to SakuraBlossoms9815 and AstroCreep. you thought your characters were getting together, and now they hate eachother (what a twist!) thats all for now. I hope I can get the next chapter up quicker, but no promises.


	7. All You Can Eat Barfet

Episode 6: All You Can Eat Barfet

"Man, I'm glad we got to sleep in today." Chris said happily as he stretched his arms and he and Steve the camera guy walked down the dock of shame. "Today's challenge is working out well already."

"For once, I have to agree." Steve said. "What is the challenge again?"

"Oh…" Chris chuckled. "The usual."

Steve quickly set up his camera and Chris fixed his hair. After a few minutes the red light on the camera flashed and Steve gave a thumbs up.

"Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… Our nineteen remaining campers were sent into the bowls of the old Wawanakwa mines. At first everything seemed simple enough, just get through in one piece… but then Naomi blew it by screaming and causing a cave in, separating the campers into a bunch of smaller groups. Russell actually proved useful when he and his mutt, Mr. Muggles, led Tak and Payton safely out of the mines; Carolina, Nick, Lena and Harper barely managed to escape the bear; TJ showed how much he really cared for Kyra by carrying her all the way through the mines after she was hurt; Dylan was also hurt, but didn't get the same sympathy from Sam and Ashlynn; and Jason and Sakura, who until this point everyone thought liked each other, now have a raging hatred for each other (excellent for ratings, I might add). Naomi ended up walking the Dock of Shame after the Moose ended up losing. Today, we're going to test our campers strength of will… as well as the strength of their gag reflexes. Who will be able to hold down their lunch at the 'All You Can Eat **Barf**et'? Find out today, on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" A row of explosions went off along the beach and Steve turned off the camera.

"Wow, today is looking good." he said with a grin.

"Oh, by the way, Steve," Chris said, "We ran out of gasoline for the morning explosions so we siphoned the gas from your car."

"And he ruins it." Steve grumbled.

~LATER~

Harper sat lazily on the dock of shame, his legs hanging over the edge. All of the others were also awake, since it was about nine in the morning on challenge day, and were off doing their own thing. Harper needed some quiet to collect himself before Chris called them for the challenge. He was still a little spooked from the last one.

"Harper!"

The klutz looked over his shoulder to find Ayame walking down the dock towards him… and somehow he lost his balance and fell face first into the water. He panicked at first, having not expected this, but quickly resurfaced and caught his breath. Ayame reached down and helped him climb back onto the dock. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"YeahI'mfine." Harper said, his face turning red.

Ayame sighed. "Good. Now c'mon. Follow me."

"What? Why? Wherearewegoing?" Harper questioned. Ayame just looked at him, confused.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Harper sighed and scratched the back of his head. "I really need to learn how to talk to girls." he admitted.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Nick's calling a meeting." Ayame explained. "We need to choose who we're voting off it we lose today."

"Oh, right… the alliance."

Ayame led Harper to the bonfire where Nick sat waiting for them. It was clear to both of them when they saw his face that something was on his mind… something more personal than who to vote off. Still, he managed to collect himself as they approached and greeted them with a smile. "Hey, guys."

"Hey, Nick." Ayame and Harper said in unison.

"So, let's get down to business. Who do you guys think we should vote off?"

"I say either Jason or Sakura." Harper said bluntly. "Those two have been fighting practically nonstop since the last challenge and it's getting on my nerves."

"We can't do that!" Ayame insisted.

"And why not?" Nick asked. "It seems like a perfectly logical choice."

"Because they're totally in love with each other!" Ayame said.

Nick and Harper stared at her for a moment, turned to each other, and then burst into hysterical laughter. Ayame slapped her own forehead and sighed. "Yeah right!" Nick gasped between laughs.

"If they're in love then Chef will have some decent food ready for lunch." Harper said.

"Oh, come on!" Ayame demanded. "How can you not see it?"

"Face it, Ayame. Ever since the last challenge you're the only person on the island who still thinks they like each other." Harper explained, still laughing.

Ayame glared at them. "Whatever." she growled. "I'm still not voting off either of them until they come to their senses."

The boys decided no argue any further and gave in there. "So that only leaves TJ, Carolina, Kyra, and Lena." Nick said. There was a brief silence before they all quickly agreed on the same person.

"Lena."

"So, what do we do until it's time for the challenge?" Harper asked.

There was another brief pause before Ayame made a suggestion. "Why don't we just sit and talk." she said. "You know, get to know each other a little."

"What? You mean like bonding?" Nick questioned, obviously not thrilled.

Ayame glared at him. "You're going first." she said.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Why does is seem like Ayame has be whipped?" Nick questioned. "I mean, seriously, I don't even like this girl and she blackmailed her way into my alliance. Why am I listening to her?"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Nick needs to learn to loosen up." Ayame said. "I'm just trying to be his friend. There's no reason to be defensive."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"What was I thinking when I got into this alliance?" Harper asked

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"So, spill it, Nick." Ayame insisted. "What's life like back where you live? How are your friends, your school… and your parents?"

He sighed and looked away from them, out to the lake. "You really want to know?" he asked, obviously not wanting an answer. It was clear that this would be hard for him to talk about. "Fine. Not many friends, no school, and no parents either." he stated. "My parents were killed a few years back… I've been living off the money I've inherited for the last few years, staying in an old auto shop that I got cheep."

"Oh my god." Ayame gasped. "Nick, I had no idea."

"That's why I'm here." Nick continued. "It's only been a bit over three years and I've already used more than half the money. And unfortunately, at my age, I can't get a job without a legal guardian."

"But why didn't they put you into a foster home or something?" Harper questioned.

Nick would've answered, but at that very moment Chris's voice came over the loud speakers. "Campers, please report to the mess hall. Your challenge begins in ten minutes."

"Oh, happy day." Nick said, getting up quickly and heading for the mess hall. Harper and Ayame just glanced at each other before slowly following after him.

~MOOSE CABIN, GIRLS SIDE~

"C'mon, Sam." Penny growled. "The challenge is starting soon and we need everyone there."

"Yeah." Ashlynn agreed. "We might get disqualified if you don't show up."

Sam groaned and propped herself up with her arms, pushing the bed covers off of her. She was still in her pajamas and she hadn't gotten out of bed all day. "I'm sorry guys. I feel like crap… I think I've got the flu or something." She said weakly.

Penny just rolled her eyes and grabbed Sams arm, pulling her out of the bed and onto her feet. "Sorry, girl, but we can't risk it. I'm sure that as long as you don't start coughing up blood you'll be fine."

"And if I do?" Sam grumbled.

"Then you'll be missed." Penny said sarcastically.

Ashlynn smacked the back of Penny's head and corrected her. "Then we'll do everything we can to get you to the hospital." she said.

The three girls headed for the mess hall, Penny and Ashlynn holding onto Sam's arms to steady their slightly dizzy team mate. When they arrived the only others who weren't there yet were Dylan, who was still limping from his twisted ankle, and Allister, who was most likely with him to make sure he didn't get hurt again. After waiting for about five minutes (still two before the challenge technically started) Chris started to complain. "Where the heck are those two? I specifically said ten minutes."

"It's only been eight, Chris." Nicholas said. "And Dylan can't exactly move at the speed of light right now."

"And you guys were complaining about me not showing up." Sam grumbled to Penny and Ashlynn.

Sure enough, they showed up just before Chris was about to start the challenge, Allister half carrying Dylan over to the table.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Allister's really grown since this show's started." Dylan said to the camera. "Hard to believe that when we first met, only a week ago, he was quiet, timid, and all around depressed. I wouldn't quite call him happy yet, but he's well on his way."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"All right," Chris said, "now that everyone's here we can get started." Chris clapped his hands and chef walked out of the kitchen, amazingly holding onto one and a half dozen silver plates with covers to conceal the food. He moved around the room, placing one plate in front of each camper. "We were going to have an extreme sports challenge, but in light of recent injuries I chose something a little less strenuous on the body. Please, take a look at your meal."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I am going to kill him." Sam growled, the camera shutting off just before she threw up.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

The campers removed the covers of their dishes to find the most disgusting assortment of foods they'd ever seen. What they all suspected was supposed to be steak was puke green and seasoned with finger nails, dirt, and other unknown substances. There was a pile of still alive maggots with large "meatballs" spread throughout, probably supposed to spaghetti and meatballs. There was also a salad of rotten lettuce and other vegetables and a glass of what looked like mop water that had recently been used to clean up vomit.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the all you can eat **barf**et!" Chris announced. "Your challenge today is to stomach as much of this _food_ as possible without throwing up. If the lose your lunch, you're out of the challenge. The camper who lasts the longest without barfing wins immunity for their team."

"I thought you said this would be less strenuous on the body." Kyra said.

"All you have to do is sit and eat." Chris said, chuckling. "Does that seem like a workout to you?" A meatball went flying at him, which he easily managed to avoid. "Now, before I forget, you have to keep eating until you're out. If you finish your plate, Chef has plenty more coming. If you refuse to eat… well, you don't want to know. And… go!"

Everyone was hesitant at first and all took their time to dive in, save for Lena who started wolfing it down like she hadn't eaten in days. Russell went for the drink first, took one sip and his face went green. He turned around, puked, and collapsed, landing on the floor on top of his own vomit. "And Russell is out!" Chris announced. Mr. Muggles then walked over to Russell and sniffed him before, surprisingly, starting to lick his puke covered face. Chef then came out and haled Russell outside so that he wouldn't distract the others. Mr. Muggles remained behind, looking up at the others and whimpering, seeming to beg for food.

"Little guy must not have eaten recently." Chris said. "Russell must be starving it, refusing to let it eat Chef's crappy cooking." Right on cue, a butchers knife went flying at his head and he ducked.

"Why do people insist on insulting my cooking?" Chef grumbled as he went back into the kitchen. "They know what's going to happen."

Kyra and Carolina were the next to go. Carolina, unable to stand the sight of the maggots, lost her lunch right onto the table and Kyra, still a little woozy from the last challenge, did the same a few seconds later while eating some of the salad.

TJ took his fork and stabbed at one of the meatballs from the maggot spaghetti, eyeing it carefully. "Dude, is this what I think it is?" he asked.

"If you think it's a bulls pride, then yes." Chris answered.

TJ just set the fork down and pushed the plate away. "Yeah, I'm not eating that."

"What's this? Refusing to eat?" Chris questioned with a grin.

"I never said that." TJ answered. He then grabbed his glass and chugged the entire drink, turned around, and threw up on the spot.

"Darn it." Chris said, snapping his fingers. "I was really hoping to tor… I mean… ah, to hell with it. I was really hoping to torture someone today."

"You already are." Sam said, pushing her amazingly empty plate away from her and downing the last of her drink.

"I thought you were sick." Penny said.

"You have no idea." Sam growled. "Now get me another plate before I loose the will to hold this garbage down!"

Back at the Eagle table, Jason and Sakura were diving into the disgusting food almost as fast as Lena was. It was like they were competing, both determined to last longer than the other. Unfortunately, as they both finished their plates and downed their drinks, they both lost control, turned around, and threw up simultaneously. They turned back to face each other and growled.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

The screen was cut in half, showing both Jason and Sakura's confessionals at the same time. "That asshole cheated!" they both shouted. "I saw him/her throw up in their mouth, force it back down, and then keep eating! I defiantly lasted longer than him/her!"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"We are now fifteen minutes into the all you can **barf**et challenge and the Moose team has a massive lead, winning with eight remaining campers to the eagles four." Chris said to the camera.

"Bring it on!" Ashlynn shouted as Chef brought her another plate. "I could do this all da--" she was cut off as vomit started pouring out of her mouth in mid sentence. Penny and Dylan started laughing, both with chewed food in their mouths. This sight along with the building pressure in Allister's stomach caused him to turn around and lose his lunch as well.

"You all right, man?" Dylan asked, genuinely concerned while still laughing.

"Other than the nasty taste in my mouth and my pounding head, yeah, I'm great." Allister said.

"Glad to hear… excuse me." Dylan said as he took another bite of the green steak before turning around and throwing up. This sight, along with a mouthful of mashed maggots, caused Penny to vomit as well.

"And we are down to our last eight." Chris announced. "Ayame, Harper, Nick, and Lena remain for the Eagle team and Tak, Payton, Nicholas, and surprisingly Sam remain for the moose team. We're going to take a short break for our camper's stomachs to settle… and yes, you are free to hurl during this time." As soon as he said this, Sam put her head under the table and lost it. It was at this point that Chef walked out again and eyed the vomit covered floor.

"You don't expect me to clean this up, do you?" Chef asked.

"Who else is gunna do it?" Chris asked, shoving a mop and bucket in the oversized cooks hands. Chef just glared at him before snapping the mop over the TV show hosts head and then slamming the bucket on as well. Chris fell to the floor, severely disoriented and with a possible concussion.

The campers who had already lost the challenge left immediately, heading straight for the washrooms to rinse out their mouths. Sam would've gone too, but she was still too dizzy from her sickness to stand without wobbling.

Ayame, Harper, and Nick gawked at Lena. They were all struggling to keep their food down, but Lena just sat there, sighing contently and patting her stomach. "How the hell can you do this without even grimacing?" Nick finally asked.

Lena just shrugged. "I guess the aliens removed my taste buds when I was abducted." she said. The jaws of the other three dropped and then Lena burst into laughter. "I'm kidding. I just have a naturally durable stomach." she explained.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I think I'm about done." Harper admitted. "The last thing I want to do right now is eat more of that disgusting food."

"Oh, c'mon, Harper." Ayame said, placing her hand on his shoulder. Harper's face went red and he froze.

"Don't worry, kid. You won't have to eat any more of that crap." Chef said as he dragged Chris, still with the bucket on his head and babbling about spider monkeys, out of the room. "We've got something new for the next part." he chuckled evilly before heading back into the kitchen. The campers faces went white, save for Lena.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Nicholas sat in the confessional, glaring at the camera. "We've already eaten green steam seasoned with toe nails and dirt, maggot spaghetti with bull testicles, rotten salad, and mop water. What could possibly be next?"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

About five minutes later, that question was answered. Chris walked out of the kitchen with a bandage wrapped around his head, grumbling something about Chef being an oversized chimp and said oversized chimp came out after him, carrying a tray with the next course on it, covered of course.

Chef sat the tray down on the Moose table and motioned for the Eagles to join them there. When everyone was sitting around the table, he spoke. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you… dessert." He lifted the cover from the tray, revealing what looked like eight bowls of ice cream. Ordinary vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup.

"What are you trying to pull?" Nicholas asked.

"Just eat the damned ice cream, boy." Chef growled before retreating into his kitchen again.

Tak just shrugged after Chef disappeared and dove right in, taking a spoonful of the seemingly harmless ice cream and swallowing it easily. "Tastes kind of funny." he said before his eyes went wide. He immediately turned his head and puked on the floor. "Oh my god!" he gasped after he was finished. "What the hell is in that stuff?"

"Glad you asked." Chris said, walking over to the table. "That ice cream is laced with ipecac. Almost a one hundred percent guarantee that you will puke whether you like it or not."

"Oh, come on!" Payton snapped. "That's completely cheating!"

"Not necessarily." Chris said. "To make things interesting, you're all required to take just one bite of this ice cream. Hopefully, you can control yourself longer than Tak did. Just one bite, and then we wait. The person who goes the longest without vomiting wins immunity for their team as well as some awesome swag."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Ok, I know I can stomach almost anything," Lena said, "but I've never had ipecac before. It's made to induce vomiting, so I don't know if I'll be able to hold it down… I hope Chris isn't watching if the ipecac works."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Ready, everybody?" Chris asked. Everyone dipped their spoons into the ice cream and waited for Chris's signal. "And three… two… one… go!" The seven remaining campers shoved a spoonful of ipecac laced ice cream into their mouths. Almost immediately, Nick, Harper, and Nicholas threw up at the same time.

"Wow." Chris said. "With there elimination, its down to the ladies. This is actually quite a shock."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"What's that supposed to mean?" Payton growled.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

A few more seconds passed before Payton and Ayame both vomited. Now it was just down the resident Iron Stomach, Lena (who was starting to look a little queasy), and Sam, who had been on the verge of puking before the challenge started. They, along with Chris, Chef, and Steve the camera guy waited in silence, other than the girls growling stomachs, for the end to come.

"How long is this gunna take?" Steve asked.

"Doesn't matter." Chris said. "We can edit it so that it looks like it was only a few seconds during post prod--" He stopped in mid sentence when a chunky green fluid was hurled towards him, splattering all over his shirt, pants, and shoes. "Oh, come on!" he shouted. "Who did this?"

Sam immediately raised her hand.

"Finally!" Chris said, taking off his puke covered shirt and throwing it to a nearby intern. Lena's eyes went wide and she started to drool as she gawked at the now shirtless TV show host. "Sorry, Sam. But you and the Moose are headed for the bonfire tonight. Lena, you and the Eagles are safe… and you're all headed to a five star restaurant for dinner tomorrow!"

"All right!" Lena cheered. Sam just sat her head on the table and fell asleep.

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Well, well… If it isn't the Raging Moose, back for a second challenge in a row." Chris said as he eyes the nine campers before him. "I have to say, I'm a little disappointed in you. You seemed like such a strong team in the first episode, but now? Well, now I'm having my doubts."

The campers wanted to argue with him, but all were still to tired from the challenge to do anything more than glare at him.

"Since you all seem a little sick," Chris chuckled, "I'll throw the marshmallows to you today… First, one for Payton." Chris tossed the Marshmallow to the brown haired girl and then grabbed another. "One for Ashlynn… Tak… Dylan… Penny… Nicholas… Allister."

The host looked down to the last Marshmallow on his tray and then to the two campers without a Marshmallow: Russell and Sam. "This is the final marshmallow of the night, guys. However doesn't get it must head for the dock of shame and take a ride on the loser boat. The final Marshmallow goes to… Russell."

As Chris tossed Russell the final Marshmallow, Sam got up. "Well, it's been fun guys." she said. Ashlynn, Payton, Penny, and Dylan all hugged her and said goodbye and Tak and Nicholas shook her hand before she headed for the boat.

"Well," Chris said as Sam and the boat of losers vanished over the horizon. "I hope you all enjoyed today's challenge."

"**NO!**" All eight of them shouted.

"Fine." Chris said calmly. "But just remember… it can always get much worse." He laughed evilly as he walked off, leaving the Raging Moose to their Marshmallows.

* * *

(a/n) well, theres a surprise. one part episode, but whatever, I got the job done. quick heads up, starting next chapter Ill be posting links to my deviant art page where I plan to put up artwork for this story (none yet). I plan on doing on per chapter (including the previous ones). Im currently working on the group shot from episode 1.


	8. Paintballs of Fury Part 1

Episode 7: Paintballs of Fury Part 1

"Where the hell is Steve." Chris complained as he made his way down the dock of shame for the morning recap shoot. "I swear, if he doesn't show up soon I'm docking his pay."

When Chris made it to the end of the dock, he noticed that Steve's camera was already there, set up and ready to go from what Chris could tell. There was a note taped over the lens. Chris grabbed it and looked it over quickly. "Chris. The Producers have me on other business today. The camera's all set up. Just hit the big red button to start it." Chris shrugged and did as the note said. As he did, the button exploded, covering Chris's upper torso and face in a thin layer of ash. He then went back to the note. "I knew you'd fall for that. You never his the big red button, moron… but seriously, I can't be there this morning. There should be a switch with the words _on _and _off _on it. Just flip that and you're ready to go."

Chris growled, removed as much of the ash as he could from his face, and flipped the switch before positioning himself in front of the camera. "Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… The campers were treated to an all you can eat buffet… or should I say **barf**et? They had to force down Chef's vomit inducing food for as long as possible. Now, I don't know about you, but I have to say that that was the sickest challenge we've had on this show. The Moose Team started off strong. By the time they'd lost one team mate the Eagles had already lost four. But eventually it evened out to a four against four showdown. That's when we got underhanded and fed them ipecac laced ice cream. Just one bite of that and almost instantly, already sick Sam and our resident iron stomach Lean were the only ones left. Amazingly, the both lasted quite a while before Sam finally lost it… all over my clothes. At the bonfire ceremony, Sam was the one sent home despite her remarkable performance in the challenge. Which leaves just one question…" Chris reached behind his back and pulled out a green paintball gun. "If our campers can be that cruel, what'll happen when they get to shoot each other? Find out today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" The annual explosions went off before Chris shot a paintball directly at the camera… knocking it over and causing it to fall straight into the water.

"Son of a bitch!" Chris growled. He waited for a second, thinking of what to do, before he finally shrugged. "Guess I'll let it sit for a while… let the paint wash off."

~THE DAY BEFORE~

Sakura yawned lazily as she sat under an old oak tree near the river. It was mid afternoon and the sky was just starting to change color from the sun setting. She'd only been sitting there for a few moments, happily listening to sounds of the flowing river, singing birds, and whatever else was around. It wasn't long, however, before she grabbed her guitar, which had been sitting on the grass next to her, and started to play. It was nothing special at first, just strumming a few strings here and there, but it wasn't before she really got into it and started playing a song she'd written back home.

She sat there contently playing her guitar for so long that she lost track of time, but it must have been at least an hour before she was interrupted. "Not bad." She immediately stopped playing and looked over her shoulder, spotting Jason standing a few yards away, hands stuffed in his pockets. He was watching her with an expressionless face. "And I'm not being an ass. You really aren't that bad at all." he said.

"What the hell?" Sakura demanded. "Have you been spying on me?"

"Relax." Jason said. "I was just going for a walk when I heard your music. I just wanted to see who was playing."

"Well, now you know." Sakura said, looking away from him. "SO go back to your walk and leave me alone."

Jason didn't say a word and turned around, taking a few steps away from the pink haired girl before stopping and looking back at her. "Look…" he said. "I've been thinking and… I just want to apologize for being such an ass lately. That argument we had in the mines… I don't even remember what caused it… So what do you say? Let's stop fighting and call a truce." Sakura just sat there, staring at the river silently. "I'm not saying we have to be friends…" Jason continued. "I just don't want to fight anymore."

Sighing, Sakura sat down her guitar, stood up, and walked over to him. "Anything else you want to say?" she asked, glaring at him.

Jason scratched the back of his head and sighed. "Yeah… you're foreheads really not that big at all and honestly… you're hair isn't that bad looking at all." he chuckled, smiling at her.

Sakura just smiled back and nodded at him. "Ok… truce. But we're still a long way off from being friends."

"All I'm asking for." Jason said before turning around and starting to walk away. But before he could take two steps Sakura grabbed his arm and turned him back around.

"Wait a second." she said.

To Jason it looked like she wanted to say something, but she couldn't figure out how to say it. She honestly looked very confused and unsure of whether she even wanted to say what was on her mind. "What is it, Sakura?" Jason asked.

With a gulp, she ran her free hand through her hair and spoke.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Cue cliffhanger!" Chris laughed, pointing at the camera.

~CHALLENGE DAY~

Payton yawned as she walked onto the porch of the Moose cabin. The sun was just starting to rise and she could see Chris walking back from the dock of shame after that mornings recap shoot. Nicholas and Tak were already awake as well. Nicholas was already fully dressed for the day and was sitting on the steps, minding his own business. Tak was out taking an early morning run around camp. As he passed by the cabin and noticed Payton, he smiled and waved at her. She waved back at him before he went back to concentrating on his run.

"Think he's preparing for the challenge?" Nicholas asked.

Payton shrugged. "Could be." she said. "Or he could just be getting some exorcise."

Nicholas shrugged and stood up, stretching his arms. Payton was about ready to back into the cabin, grab some clothes and head for the shower when they heard a scratching on the door of the boys side of the cabin. "Russell's dog." Nicholas said, opening the door to let the poor creature out to do its business. Payton winced as it ran passed her.

"You still think it's a good idea to keep Russell on the team?" Nicholas asked. "We have lost the last to challenges…"

"I don't know." Payton said. "He did help get me and Tak out of the mines alive… But if he can't help us win then I don't see a point in keeping him around."

"My thoughts exactly." Nicholas agreed.

"But Tak, Ashlynn, and Penny might think otherwise… are Dylan and Allister in the alliance?"

"I don't think so." Nicholas said. "I haven't heard them say anything about it and I think they're too busy with each other… but back on topic, if Russell doesn't help out this time around I'm seriously considering getting rid of him."

Payton sighed and bent over the railing, watching Tak as he ran by the cabin again. "Think Tak will agree?"

"All we have to do is convince Penny or Ashlynn and it wont matter." Nicholas pointed out. "But still, if we win today's challenge it won't matter."

"I say we give him one more chance." Payton suggested. "If Russell actually does something worth while this time and we still lose, then we'll keep him on."

"And if he does little to nothing again?"

"Then I'll drag him and his mutt to the dock of shame myself." Payton said.

"So you have a dark side after all." Nicholas laughed.

"Nope." Payton said as she walked back into the cabin. "I just don't like assholes."

"Do you know how easily I could turn that into a joke?" Nicholas asked. Payton didn't answer, but instead slammed the cabin door in his face, causing him to stumble backwards and fall over the railing… nearly landing on top of Mr. Muggles.

"You're smart, Nicholas." Payton said as she made her way to the showers. "But you really need to learn when to not be so smart."

"I think I landed in something unpleasant." Nicholas grumbled, rolling onto his side. Mr. Muggles waddled up to him and started sniffing the brown spot on the back of his shirt from what he'd landed in.

~LATER~

The seventeen remaining campers on the island were slowly filling up the mess hall for that mornings breakfast. As usual, Nicholas was the first to arrive, not even giving a second glance at the gray sludge that Chef called oatmeal. Everyone else soon joined him. To everyone's surprise, Jason and Sakura actually sat across the table from each other. They casually greeted each other without so much as a glare or growl and then, causing everyone else's jaws to drop, they actually started a conversation. Amazed as they were, the other Eagles didn't say a word, hoping not to ruin the mornings good karma.

Last to arrive that morning was Carolina. She must've been in especially good mood that morning because she did something no one else had ever dared… she walked right up to Chef Hatchet and greeted him with a smile. "Morning Chef Hatchet." she said cheerfully. "How about some eggs and toast for breakfast today. And maybe a glass or orange juice!"

"Oatmeal." Chef grumbled, shoving a bowl of the gray sludge at her. She eyed it carefully and grimaced.

"Okay…" she said. "How about a compromise? Make me a bowl of cereal."

"Oatmeal." Chef said again, starting to sound irritated.

"Oh, c'mon Chef." Carolina pleaded with a chuckle. "I know you're cooking something good back there. I can smell it."

Chef glared at her, remembering the biscuits and gravy he was fixing for himself. "I'm gunna tell ya one last time, girly. Either ya eat this oatmeal and leave me alone, or ya go hungry this morning and leave me alone. Either way you're gunna **SIT YA BUTT DOWN AND LEAVE ME ALONE!**"

Carolina looked at him in shock and confusion. "But--"

"**THAT'S IT!**" Chef shouted. He then retreated into his kitchen and grabbed a few things, throwing them into a burlap sack before storming out of the kitchen. "I'm outta here." he said, walking towards the mess hall doors. "I'm taken a vacation."

"Okay." Tak said.

"Fine by me." Lena agreed.

"Whatever." Russell grumbled.

"But who's gunna cook for us?" Carolina protested.

As Chef pushed the doors open he glared back at her. "If you're so hungry, why don't you cook somethin' fer ya own damned self! Won't eat my cooking, see if yours is any better." He grumbled as he left, passing Chris one the way.

"What happened to Chef?" Chris asked as he entered the mess hall. Everyone pointed to Carolina.

"What?" the brown haired girl asked.

"You made Chef take a vacation." Chris said. He then pulled a chef's hat out of nowhere and tossed it at her; amazingly it landed perfectly on her head. "Now you're in charge of the grub. I hope you have a strong stomach, because it's practically a horror movie back there."

Carolina twitched at the mention of the kitchen and then took of the hat, setting it on the counter.

"Now then." Chris said. "You have about two hours before today's challenge starts. Use it wisely, and don't strain yourselves. You're going to need all the energy you've got."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Okay, I know Chef's food was bad, but Carolina?" Nick said, crossing his arms. "Nothing against her personally, but I doubt she can cook, knowing how she was brought up. Rich girl doing the cooking… I dunno what to think."

~BONFIRE, LATER~

"I dunno who I want to consider voting for this time." Harper admitted, crossing his arms in frustration. "Now that Jason and Sakura have stopped fighting…"

"Yeah." Ayame agreed. "Kinda hard to decide now."

"Well, let's think." Nick said. "I'm not going to risk losing Lena after the last challenge. She's to valuable until the teams are dissolved. That just leaves TJ, Kyra, Sakura, Jason, and Carolina…"

"I still refuse to vote off Jason or Sakura." Ayame stated. "They may not be fighting anymore, but they still haven't admitted that they like each other. And if I have any other choice, I won't get rid of them until that happens."

"We keep telling you, you're the only one who thinks that." Nick growled. "I bet it's just a temporary thing, anyway. They'll start at it again soon enough."

Harper kept quiet, honestly not having an opinions on the matter.

"Whatever." Ayame said, deciding to change the subject. "Our choices are TJ, Carolina, and Kyra. Who's it gunna be?"

There was a brief pause.

"Carolina." Everyone agreed.

With that, Nick got up and walked off, stating that he'd meet them when the challenge started. Harper and Ayame watched as he disappeared into the woods.

"I can't believe that he's been on his own for so long." Harper said.

"Yeah." Ayame agreed. Then curiosity got the better of her. "So what about you, Harper? Got any dark secrets I should know about?"

Harper went red in the face as soon as she started speaking. "N-no." he answered. "IlivewithmyfamilyinMichigan. Igetlaughedatoccasionallyatschool. Nothingspecial."

Ayame laughed. She couldn't help it. She just found the way Harper spoke to her funny. "You're cute when you're nervous, you know that?" she chuckled.

Harper's face flushed a deeper red, but he managed to snap out of his embraced trance. "All right." he said, still not looking her in the eye. "What about you?"

Ayame thought about it for a moment. "Well… I'm from Japan. My parents like to keep things traditional, so my mom's a geisha and my dad samurai. They expected me to be their perfect little princess, so my brother ticked them off and turned me into the rebel I am." she chuckled. "My brother taught me everything I know about fighting, motorcycling… and drag racing."

"Drag racing?" Harper questioned. "… that's pretty hardcore."

"Yeah… it is." Ayame agreed.

They both sat there in silence for the next few minutes until the challenge started. Neither of them knowing what to say next but neither wanting to leave. After only a few minutes, though, Chris's voice came over the intercom and called them all to the edge of the woods behind the mess hall.

~BEHIND THE MESS HALL~

"Where the heck is Chris?" Kyra asked, crossing her hands in frustration.

"He's probably hiding somewhere with some devious plot to get us al shot." Sakura said sarcastically.

"Or maybe you killed him." Jason suggested, equally sarcastic.

Everyone expected Sakura to lash out at him, but instead she just elbowed him in the ribs without expression on her face. But from what they could tell, It had hurt because it knocked the wind out of Jason. "Point taken." Jason wheezed

"In coming!"

A barrage of paintballs came flying out of the trees at the edge of the woods, causing the campers to scatter. Chris jumped down from the trees, laughing hysterically. "I thought that would get your attention." he said.

"What do you know?" Nicholas said. "Sakura was right."

"That point aside, it's challenge time!" Chris announced.

Steve the camera guy and an intern came into view, pushing a large wall on wheels behind Chris. Mounted on the wall was almost one and a half dozen paintball guns (either in yellow or brown), and the same number of goggles and camouflage caps. "It's paintball time!" Half of the campers looked excited while the other half looked like they all had been slapped in the face. "You know the rules." Chris continued as he began passing out the gear. "You all go into the woods and shoot the other team. If you get hit, you're out. First team to run out of players loses."

"But what happens if we run out at the same time?" Dylan asked.

"The odds of that are astronomical." Chris said. "Now get going! Moose, since you have less players you get a ten minute head start."

~THE WOODS~

"So, how are we going to do this?" Penny asked.

Nicholas was the first to break off from the group. "They'll more than likely have to come down this way." he said as he walked over to a nearby tree. "I'll stay here and pick off as many as I can." He started climbing the tree, quickly disappearing into the branches and settling in for his wait.

"Take out as many as you can, Nick." Tak said. "We're at a disadvantage, so we'll need all the help we can get."

"No problem." Nicholas said.

The rest of the Raging Moose team continued deeper into the woods, slowly separating into groups of two are going off on their own. Russell was the first to split disappearing behind some bushes… amazingly Mr. Muggles wasn't with him. Eventually the team came to a fork in the road. Payton and Tak took one path while Allister and Dylan took the other. Penny and Ashlynn ran into the trees.

~LATER~

The Shrieking Eagles were now making their way through the woods, keeping their eyes open for any sign of the other team. Jason and TJ were up front, eyeing the trees carefully with their guns aimed. Sakura and Lena were covering the rear. Everyone else was just watching and waiting.

"Keep your guard up, guys." Nick advised. "We have more people, but the Moose team is smart. They're not about to let us take a challenge they can win strategically."

"You know, Nick actually has a point." Jason agreed. "I'm not saying anyone here is stupid or anything, but how did the Moose end up with all of the really smart people."

"Just to make you ask questions." Sakura said bluntly. "Now shut it before you get us caught!"

Too late. As soon as Sakura finished speaking Kyra was hit with a paintball from nowhere, knocking her to the ground. TJ ran to her side and helped her back to her feet while the others tried to locate the shooter. Before he was spotted, however, Carolina had already been shot down as well, Kyra going to help her up.

"He's in the trees! It's Nicholas!" TJ shouted, guarding Kyra and Carolina.

Jason, Nick, and Ayame started blasting at the trees, aimlessly wasting ammo. The cover from the trees managed to keep Nicholas safe long enough to let him take aim and hit Lena in the shoulder. He nodded in approval and then went to take aim for TJ.

"Gotcha!"

A paintball came flying at him, striking directly in the chest. Nicholas fell from his tree and landed flat on his back, getting the wind knocked out of him. "Son of a bitch!" he gasped.

It was Sakura who had taken him down. Harper went to help him up. "Nice job, man." he said.

"Don't complement him!" Carolina protested. "He just took out three of our players! Including me!"

"Yeah, and we got him back." Harper pointed out.

"That you did." Nicholas agreed. "But you would've gotten me quicker if you would've actually taken your time instead of aimlessly shooting. Sakura had the right idea."

"What can I say?" Sakura asked with a cocky grin. "I'm just that awesome."

"Yeah, Sakura, you're awesome like a stomach virus." Jason said bluntly. "Now let's go. We're down six players to seven and I for one want to keep our winning streak going."

Everyone agreed with Jason (except for the stomach virus comment of course) and they continued into the woods while Nicholas, Kyra, Lena, and Carolina headed back to camp.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Russell sat in the confessional, glaring at the camera with an evil grin. "They have no idea what kind of hell they're in store for." he began laughing darkly as the camera shut off.

* * *

(a/n) hey. sorry its been so long since my last update. but, as I explained to some of you already, Ive been extremely busy with youtube projects among other things. but, whatever. I have episode 7 up and Im proud of it, even if its a little short. Oh! and before I forget, I promised artwork, so here it is. the first three from episodes 1-3: Last Luxury

.com/art/Total-Drama-Dynamite-111292994

.com/art/Party-at-Playa-de-Losers-112491273

.com/art/first-bonfire-ceremony-113359735

hope you enjoyed all my hard work. X)


	9. Paintballs of Fury Part 2

Episode 8: Paintballs of Fury Part 2

Allister and Dylan trekked through the Wawanakwa forest, not to subtly and with their paintball guns dangling loosely at their sides in one hand. They knew full well that the competition was still going, but were too into their conversation to be ready for an assault. As they continued down the path, they failed to notice Ayame and Harper waiting behind the trees up ahead. Just as they were a few steps away, Ayame and Harper jumped out and pelted the two boys with paintballs at nearly point blank range, both taking multiple shots to the chest and arms.

"All right!" Ayame cheered, high-fiving Harper. "That's two more down!"

"That makes three for both teams as far as I know." Harper said. "Which means we're ahead six people to five."

"Nice shooting guys." Dylan said, walking over to shake their hands. "Good luck with the rest of the game… And for the record, you two make a cute couple."

Harper's face flushed white and he froze. Ayame just giggled and scratched the back of her head. "Right back at you… but we're not a couple."

"Neither are we." Allister stated bluntly.

"We'll see how long that state of mind lasts. But…" Dylan whispered to Ayame, "He's right." he continued, raising his voice. "Just because I'm gay and we hang out a lot doesn't mean he is."

Allister just groaned, rolled his eyes, and shot Dylan in the back of the leg before turning around, heading back to camp. "C'mon, Daffy. Warner Bros has a new cartoon lined up for us."

"You're dethpicable." Dylan said in his best Daffy duck impression while rubbing the back of his leg. "And that better not have left a welt!" he continued, limping after Allister.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I dunno." Ayame said to the camera. "I know Dylan is seriously crushing on Allister, but I honestly can't tell if Allister's interested in Dylan or not… All I can say is that if Allister's not gay then he's not completely straight."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Hey, Harper, snap out of it." Ayame ordered, snapping her fingers in front of Harper's still ghost white and frozen face. "We need to get back to patrol. Nick needs all the security he can get to finish his secret weapon."

Harper chook his head quickly and snapped out of his trance. "Right. Sorry."

"Why don't you go check on him." Ayame suggested. "Since those two were patrolling this part of the woods, I doubt that anyone else is nearby."

Harper nodded and left, heading for the clearing where Nick was working on something that could potentially win the game for them when finished. He found Nick working some kind of good in a pan with his hands. All of his remaining ammo was lying in a pile a few feet away. "How's it coming, man?" Harper asked.

"Great." Nick answered. "The adhesive is coming along smoothly and all I'm missing is a lighter and some kind of flammable string."

"You mean like a wick?"

"For lack of a better term, yes."

"I dunno where you're going to find something like that out here, man." Harper said.

"Dried grass will do, now go back to your patrol. Just keep me hidden for another half hour and we've got this won."

~ELSEWHERE~

TJ and Penny glared at each other, standing about thirty yards apart on the trail, guns raised and ready to fire. A tumble weed prop set by the show rolled across the path, adding to the cheesy western movie cliché reference. Music from an old Clint Eastwood movie was playing in the background (thank you, post production). As everything became quiet, TJ spat at the ground before Penny yelled "Draw!" Paintballs started flying as both began to fire rapidly, amazingly neither being hit at first. Eventually, however, it was TJ who took the first blow and was eliminated from the game.

"Damn it!" Sakura growled quietly from her place in the bushes.

Penny laughed, said something to TJ that Sakura couldn't hear, and then let a few more paintballs fly at TJ before turning around and leaving. As soon as she was out of sight, Sakura went out into the open to check on TJ. "You all right?" she asked.

"I feel like I just got stabbed with a pencil and I'll probably have a few welts, but other than that I'll be fine." TJ said as Sakura helped him to his feet.

"Okay." Sakura said. "You head back to camp, I'm gunna follow her. See if I can't even the score."

TJ nodded and headed back to camp while Sakura headed the other way, following Penny. She was able to keep track of her for a while, but it wasn't long before Penny managed to disappear. IT was then, however, that she stumbled across Nick who was kneeling on the ground looking like he was working on something. Curious, she decided to investigate. "Nick!" she called. "What are you doing?"

"You know what, I'm doing." Nick answered, not even bothering to look over his shoulder to her.

"I do?"

"Yeah." Nick said. "That's why you and Harper are on guard duty. "

"I seriously have no idea what you're talking about Nick." Sakura said, crossing her arms. "You're talking crazy."

"No, you're talking crazy." Nick said, standing up. "You're seriously lucky that you blackmailed your way into my alliance, you know that." He turned around, holding what looked like a bunch of paintballs stuck together with a big glob of hardened glue with a long blade of dead grass sticking out of it. When he saw that who he thought was Ayame was actually Sakura, he gulped. "Oh crap."

"What was that about an alliance?" Sakura growled, feeling like Nick and whoever was in the alliance had betrayed the team; she pointed her gun at him.

"Alliance? What alliance? I didn't say anything about an alliance." Nick said nervously. He then realized that he'd already signed his own death warrant and sighed. "I'm in trouble aren't I?"

"Oh yeah." Sakura said. "Now tell me who else is plotting against the rest of the team." She demanded.

"Like hell I will." Nick growled. "Just because I'm going down doesn't mean that I'm taking anyone else with me. I'm no rat."

"Apparently you're a bat, because you'd have to be blind not to notice that I just stole you're little project from you."

Nick and Sakura turned their attention to the new voice, finding Penny and Ashlynn standing at the edge of the clearing, both grinning evilly and Ashlynn holding whatever Nick had made in one hand. "From the looks of it, I'd say it's a bomb, right?" Ashlynn asked. "Light the grass on fire like a wick… the adhesive you used is explosive, strong enough to make the paintballs fly but not strong enough to actually hurt anyone… and the paintballs will go everywhere, covering everyone nearby in paint. Smart, Nick, but you really need to keep an eye on your surroundings."

"Son of a bitch!" Nick growled.

"Guess again." Ashlynn said, tossing the bomb to Penny and pointing her gun at Nick. "I am the bitch." She pulled the trigger, barely missing Nick. At that point Harper, Ayame, and Jason came running into the clearing and started firing at the two girls along with Sakura and Nick who still had a few rounds left even after making the bomb. Ashlynn and Penny managed to dive back into the woods without getting shot, however, and disappeared into the woods with Nick's bomb.

"Great." Nick grumbled. "Now they've got our secret weapon."

"Shut it, traitor!" Sakura growled.

"Traitor?" Jason questioned. "What are you talking about?"

"He has an alliance. He's been plotting against all of us from the start." Sakura explained, glaring at said traitor. "And unless he tells us who else is in on his little scheme, I can personally guarantee that he's going home tonight."

"I told you, I'm not ratting out anyone." Nick said again, glaring at Ayame and Harper to keep their mouths shut.

"Fine." Sakura said. "Suit yourself. But just remember that now you don't even have a chance at getting passed tonight.

Nick as going to say something back, but as his mouth opened he just groaned and fell forward. He landed face first on the ground, paint splattered all over the back of his head. The remaining four Eagles looked to where the shot had come from to find Russell standing there with his gun aimed. He took a few more shots before any of them could say a word, taking out Harper and Ayame as well. Jason and Sakura opened fire on him, but he vanished back into the woods before he could be hit.

"Great." Sakura complained. "Now we're down to just two people."

"What's worse… I think we're surrounded." Jason added.

Nick got up and started back to camp. Harper and Ayame, deciding to help out as much as they could, gave their guns and remaining ammo to Sakura and Jason before following him. As soon as those three were out of sight, sure enough, Russell, Tak, Payton, Penny and Ashlynn emerged from the trees with their guns aimed. "Nice going, Russell." Tak said.

"Yeah." Penny agreed. "Who would've guessed your plan would work."

"Just like at school." Russell said with a dark grin. "Follow the smart ones and you'll do fine."

"So let's finish off these two so we can win already." Payton said.

"No argument here." Ashlynn agreed.

The five Raging Moose raised their guns and took aim. Jason and Sakura, both with two guns in hand ready to fire, stood back to back and waited for the shootout to begin. There was a brief pause, all going silent except for the sound of the wind. Eventually, someone from the camera crew in the woods got impatient and shouted "Get on with it, already!"

It was Russell who took the first few shots, shortly followed by the rest of his team. Jason and Sakura ducked and rolled out of the way. Sakura ended up crouching on one knee and took a few shots at Payton. Payton was too focused on Jason to see, but Tak saw and managed to jump in the way just in time. Payton didn't have time to say anything to him, however, as before she could Jason had shot her in the arm. Russell, Penny, and Ashlynn continued firing but amazingly Jason and Sakura managed to avoid every shot.

"Time to end this." Russell growled. "Penny! The bomb!"

On Russell's orders, Penny and Ashlynn ran into the woods while Russell kept Jason and Sakura occupied. They continued firing at each other and eventually Russell got hit multiple times by both of them. But by then it was too late.

Penny came running out of the woods with the bomb, the dead grass wick lit, and threw it at the two remaining Eagles. By the time they realized what was happening it was too late. The bomb went off. Jason, Sakura, and Penny were quickly bombarded and covered with paint, leaving Ashlynn who had hidden in the woods the last remaining player.

Right on cue, a helicopter flew over the clearing with Chris riding inside. "Eagles loose! The Moose are today's winners!"

~LATER~

"All right!" Dylan cheered. All of the Raging Moose had returned to the cabin and were celebrating their victory. "Our first win in three challenges, and it's all thanks to this man right here." He gestured towards Russell who was standing at the back of the cabin, taking in the glory as if he were some kind of god. "Let's here it for Russell!"

"Russell! Russell! Russell!" The rest of the team cheered.

"And let's make some noise for the lady that snagged victory for us, Penny!" Everyone cheered for Penny as well.

"I feel like some kind of celebrity." Penny said.

"We are celebrities." Nicholas pointed out as he opened a two liter bottle of pop that he'd snagged from Chef's fridge.

Tak hooked his iPod to some small speakers he'd brought and music started playing as the celebration continued. Everyone seemed to get along. To everyone's amazement Russell was actually getting along with everyone else, even enough to have a drinking contest with Nicholas (with the soda of course). Allister even smiled and laughed frequently, a rare sight indeed.

Somewhere along the line Payton noticed Tak leaning against the wall, just watching everyone else have fun. Remembering how he'd saved her from being taken out of the game earlier, she decided to go over and thank him. "Hey." She said as she approached him.

"Hey." Tak responded casually.

"So… What was with taking the shot for me earlier?" Payton asked.

Tak just shrugged. "You're a better shot than me." He answered. "Seemed like you'd be more useful for the game than I would."

"I guess it didn't help that I was taken out only five seconds later." Payton chuckled.

"Yeah." Tak agreed, also laughing.

"Well… whether it was worth it or not…" Payton trailed off, walking up to him and kissing him on the cheek. "It was still sweet of you."

At that moment the song switched to Three Dog Night's "Just an Old Fashion Love Song". "What the hell, Dylan?" Tak questioned, glaring at the boy holding his iPod.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Dylan said smugly. "Did I ruin the mood?"

"I don't think there was a mood to begin with." Allister said, pulling Dylan into a head lock and messing up his hair. "Now change it back to something from this century!"

"Never touch the hair." Dylan said, pushing Allister off of him. "And for the record, you're still dethpicable."

Payton rolled her eyes and went to hang out with Penny and Ashlynn just as Dylan changed the song again and Russell called out, "Taking all challengers!" He'd just beaten Nicholas in their soda drinking contest, the winner of which was the one who went the longest without belching.

"Oh, I've got to get a piece of this." Tak said, walking over to the table and sitting across from Russell. Nicholas quickly refilled the two dozen shot glass sized paper cups before calling for them to begin and the two downed a shot of soda each.

~EAGLE CABIN~

"All right!" Sakura said, glaring at her eight teammates. "I want to know who was in this traitor's alliance and I want to know now." After the challenge, Sakura called a team meeting in the cabin and told everyone who didn't already know about Nick's alliance. Now she was determined to find out who else was in on it and nothing would get in her way.

"Sakura, don't you think you're making a big deal out of this?" Jason asked. "We're all here to win, so we're all going to stab each other in the back eventually."

"Yes, I know." Sakura growled. "But until the teams are liquidated we should at least be able to trust each other."

"I still say you're making a big deal out of this." Jason insisted.

"Oh, I bet you would say that… especially if you were in on it!" Sakura said.

"What?" Jason snapped. "You think I'm in on his alliance? What… Well, what about you?" he asked.

"Me?" Sakura questioned.

"You're making a huge deal out of this. How do we know you're not just trying to cover your own tracks? Answer me that."

"He's got a point." Nick agreed.

"Shut up, traitor!" they both snapped.

Jason and Sakura got into a heated argument and everyone else watched silently, some in shock and others with amusement. After about five minutes TJ groaned, got up, and started for the door. "This is bull crap." He said. "I'm out of here."

"I am so with you." Kyra agreed, following him. "If I sit here and listen to this for five more seconds my head is going to explode." So they both left, deciding to go to the mess hall and hang out there until dinner. The others slowly followed their example. Carolina went to the other side of the cabin to change and headed to the beach. Lena left soon after her to go find Chris. Harper left after her to take a walk in the woods and Ayame left soon after, dragging Nick along with her to the mess hall. Though they all seemed fine at the moment, they were all thinking the same thing. There were more traitors among them aside from Nick and they could band together to get rid of any of them at any time.

Except for a few small factions, the Eagles trust was shattered at that moment.

When Sakura and Jason noticed that they were alone, they went silent. "Man they're quiet."

"No, we were just too loud." Jason said.

"I'll show you loud." Sakura growled. And they continued shouting at each other.

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

Chris waited patiently behind his podium as the Eagles slowly arrived at the bonfire. As expected, Lena was first to arrive followed by TJ and Kyra. Nick arrived soon after and all three greeted him and angry glares. Carolina arrived next followed by Jason and Harper who were discussing some movie. Ayame arrived soon after and Sakura was last to show up. When all were seated, Chris began his speech. "Well, all good things must come to an end I suppose." He said. "You had such a winning streak there for a while, but you blew it this time. Anyway, you know the rules. Whoever doesn't get a marshmallow is going home. And for the record, the votes were almost unanimous this time. Lena…" Lena went up to claim her marshmallow, nodding in approval. "Harper… Jason… Carolina… TJ… Kyra… Ayame…"

Chris looked down to the tray of marshmallows before him, sighing at the sight of only one left. "Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening. Whoever does not receive this marshmallow must immediately walk the dock of shame, catch the boat of losers, and go home… and you can't come back… ever."

Sakura glared at Nick who simply nodded back at her with a smug grin.

"The final marshmallow goes to… Sakura."

"Serves you right, traitor." Sakura said, getting up to take her marshmallow.

"Whatever." Nick said as he stood up and started for the dock. "Form the looks of things, you guys aren't going to be much of a team for a while anyway. If I have to be eliminated to avoid that drama, then fine." He passed by Harper and Ayame who watched him walk away with sympathy. "You guys play nice." Were the last words he said before he silently walked down to the dock.

There was an awkward silence after Nick left, everyone on the Shrieking Eagle team eyeing each other with angry curiosity. "I'll just leave you guys to rip each other's throats out." Chris said before leaving. They all dispersed around the island afterwards, most going off alone. TJ and Kyra seemed to be the only ones who still trusted each other openly, though a few others had one other person they knew they could still count on.

Still, the next challenge was going to be a tough one.

~LATER~

All was quiet. The give girls of the Shrieking Eagles all lay on their own beds, not looking at or speaking to each other. Sakura knew that her speech from earlier had gotten to them, now it was just a matter of getting the real traitors to break and confess. But she knew that would be a challenge. Still, if it meant weeding out the traitors then she was up for it.

Sakura was snapped out of her thoughts when the alarm on her watch went off. _Damn_. She thought. _Didn't expect them to be up this late_. Acting as casual as possible, Sakura got up from her bed and started for the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kyra questioned.

"None of your business." Sakura said before leaving without another word.

"Looks like Nick wasn't the only one with a secret." Carolina said.

"Yeah." Lena agreed. "The question is, what is Little Miss Pink Hair hiding from the rest of us?... should we follow her?"

"Are you crazy?" Ayame asked. "If we follow her she would kill us with her temper. "

"But what if Jason was right?" Carolina insisted. "What if she's just covering her own tracks by being so mad about this alliance thing?"

"You're not?" Ayame questioned. She was quite pleased with herself at the moment. Keeping up this "I'm not in Nick's alliance" act was hard, but she had the will to pull it off. Especially if it meant having a better chance of winning the whole competition. Besides, it was what Nick wanted.

"Whatever." Kyra said. "I'm going to bed." Everyone else agreed and did the same.


	10. Welcome Home Psycho Chef Part 1

(a/n) hey, sorry it took a while to get this chapter up. dunno why it took as long as it did, but it did. anyway, here's the latest chapter... oh, and one more thing. I don't really have a lot of time on my hands anymore so I'm discontinuing the artwork. sorry, but it must be done. I may do one more piece, but it wont be anything specific. dont worry though, the story still goes strong.

* * *

Episode 9: Welcome Home Psycho Chef Part 1

"Decided to show up today, did we Steve?" Chris questioned as he walked onto the dock of shame for that morning recap shoot. "Sorry about shooting your camera in the water yesterday, but I was told to shoot at the camera."

"You do realize they could've just acted like you were shooting. We could've added the paint in special effects." Steve grumbled as he set up the camera.

"Yeah…" Chris admitted with a grin. "But that was way more fun. So where were you anyway?"

"The producers sent me with the crew to get all of the supplies for today's challenge." Steve explained. "'Course, that only took us a couple hours. But we got the best stuff we could and the bosses were impressed so they gave us the rest of the day off."

"Great…" Chris grumbled. "First you and the rest of the crew split on me, then Chef decides to take a vacation. Do you know what it's like to have to watch after sixteen whining teenagers?"

"No." Steve admitted. "But I know worse. You ever hear of a show called John and Kate Plus Eight? Well, I shot a few episodes of that and those little monsters are evil… we're ready in five… four… three… two…"

"Last time, on Total Drama Dynamite…" Chris announced to the camera as the red light flashed on and Steve gave him a thumbs up. "Our remaining campers were sent into the woods for the most exciting of activities… shooting each other! Relax, they were using paint… The Raging Moose gained an early lead when Nicholas sniped down three of their players quick, but he was unfortunately taken out soon after. It wasn't long before good old Nick got an idea and had his alliance members guard while he used his ammo to make a paint bomb… which Ashlynn and Penny stole. Owned! And what could possibly make Nick's day worse? Well, he spilled the beans about his alliance to Sakura which got her pretty mad. Then she told everyone else. Unfortunately, while the five remaining Eagles were arguing amongst themselves, the Moose were surrounding them which resulted in Nick, Harper, and Ayame being shot. This left only the feuding Jason and Sakura to defend their team while Russell, the mastermind behind the plan, and the rest of the Moose kicked the Eagles while they were down. Amazingly Jason and Sakura managed to take out most of the other team, but in the end Penny used the stolen bomb on them, leaving Ashlynn the only remaining player. With the Moose finally grasping victory, the Eagles were forced to send Nick home for his so called _betrayal_. Harsh much?

"Today, the crew, me, and Chef if he comes back feel like kicking back and having fun. So what do we have planned for our lucky campers? Well, let's just say that the winners of today's challenge are going to be glad they did. Find out what the hell I'm talking about today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" The annual explosions went off along the beach and Steve shut off the camera.

"You really like milking this don't you?" Steve asked.

"Are you kidding?" Chris questioned. "I'm only so enthusiastic because I'm paid to be."

~LATER~

"Is something wrong, TJ?" Kyra asked. "You're not acting like yourself."

"It's nothing." TJ said, lying back on the dock of shame. "I'm just kinda bummed is all. Except for us, no one on the team really trusts each other anymore… That and I haven't partied since I got here." He smiled and looked over to her, managing to spot the chuckled she was trying to hold back.

They were sitting on the dock of shame, hanging out with the other team since everyone else on their team had basically turned against each other. Sakura had gone on a rampage at first, determined to find out who the others in Nicks alliance were. But after the first day or so she seemed content with just silently glaring at people and mysteriously leaving the cabin late at night daily. Jason would sit around camp playing his guitar for hours at a time, giving a death glare to any of his team mates that passed by. Lena continued to stalk Chris, but other than that wasn't her usual talkative self, tree hugging self. Carolina was no constantly on her cell phone, talking to her friends back in Spain, always talking in Spanish so that no one could listen in. Other than TJ and Kyra, the only people who seemed not to have a grudge against anyone were Ayame and Harper, but those two still kept their distance from the others and each other.

"Well, what do you expect?" Kyra questioned, getting back on topic. "Nick basically was plotting against us, or Sakura is blowing this way out of proportion… and there are still more members of his alliance left on the team and they won't step forward. We can't trust the soldier next to us. For all I know you could be one of them… you're not, right?"

"Of course not." TJ assured her. "And even if I was, you're the last person I want to get rid of."

Kyra smiled at him and put her arm around his shoulder. But her smile faded quickly as Tak and Russell came racing by them on jet skis, sending a wave of water splashing over them. Kyra immediately gasped and glared at the two knuckleheads as they raced away. "Thanks a lot, jerks!" she shouted, shaking her fist. "I'm soaking wet now."

At that point Penny, Dylan, and Ashlynn floated by, laughing. "That just made my day." Dylan chuckled. Kyra proceeded to take off one of her boots and throw it at him, nailing him in the head. Strangely, it bounced right off of him and flew back to Kyra who easily caught it in the same hand.

"How'd you do that?" TJ asked.

"I'm a brown belt." Kyra explained.

"They teach you how to bounce shoes off of peoples heads in karate?" TJ questioned.

"Just shut up and help him out of the water before I do the same to you." Kyra said, smiling and grinding her knuckles over the top of his head. "I think I might've left a nasty welt."

"I can vouch for that." Dylan said groggily as Penny and Ashlynn helped him over to the dock. TJ pulled him out of the water. Sure enough, there was a huge red spot on his forehead. "You realize this entitles me too one free revenge, right?"

"Bring it, Richard Simmons." Kyra chuckled.

"Oh, a gay joke. Classy. That brings you up to two." Dylan said before walking off, heading back to the Moose cabin to lie down.

"Should I be scared?" Kyra questioned.

"Nah." TJ assured her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He can try to get back at you as much as he wants… I'll be there to protect you every time."

"Aww…" Kyra said, moving closer to him. "That is so corny, you big dork."

~ELSEWHERE~

"So, what do you think?" Harper asked. Ayame crossed her arms and thought about it for a moment, trying to think of any other option. "C'mon, Ayame. It's getting too dangerous for us as it is. If we disband the alliance we'll at least have less to worry about. Plus, with Nick gone there's only two of us, and frankly two people against six isn't going to make much of a dent in the voting."

Ayame sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She and Harper were once again at their usual meeting spot, the bonfire. Ayame was sitting on one of the stumps while Harper was leaning against Chris's podium. "I guess you're right." Ayame admitted. "But still, the damage is already done. Unless we come out and tell the others that we were, key word being **were**, in Nick alliance then everyone is still not going to trust each other. And I'm sorry, but I'm not risking one hundred grand just to get my competition to trust each other."

"Hey, I'm competition and you don't seem to have a problem trusting me." Harper said.

"I wonder why that is." Ayame said, smiling at him mischievously.

Harpers face flushed red and he leaned back a little more, resulting in the Chris's podium falling backwards, taking Harper with it. He landed hard on his back, resulting in the wind being knocked out of him. "Ah!" he groaned, pressing his hands over his ribs.

Ayame raced to his side. "Are you all right?" she asked frantically.

"I'll be fine." He said as Ayame helped him sit up. "Just…" He trailed off as he noticed the look on Ayame's face. She was genuinely concerned for him. Harper's face went red again and he felt his heart begin to beat faster. "… just… let me catch my breath."

Ayame's concerned expression faded away into a relieved smile. "No." she said.

"Wha…" Harper started, but before he could finish that one word Ayame had leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. Harper could barely believe what was happening, and by the time he could comprehend it Ayame had already pulled away.

"You're a big klutz, you know that?" Ayame asked, smiling.

"Yeah, what of it?" Harper laughed.

"Hey, you know what I just realized?"

"You just kissed someone who can barely talk to you."

Ayame laughed. "Close… You aren't running your sentences together anymore."

"Thanksforremindingme." Harper growled, glaring at her.

"Oh, relax, will you?" Ayame said, pulling him closer. "I think it's kind of kawaii." With that she stood, helping Harper, who was still breathing heavily from his fall, to his feet. "Now c'mon. It must be nearly lunch time and I hope whatever Carolina has thrown together isn't as bad as Chef's usual… er, I don't want to say food."

"Probably a good idea." Harper said as they headed for the mess hall, hand in hand.

~ELSEWHERE~

"Wonder what today's challenge is going to be." Allister thought out loud.

"I could probably give an answer, but my heads still a mess from that boot to the head earlier." Dylan said. "Remind me to steal all of Kyra's shoes and throw them in a fire."

"Is that really a worth while revenge?" Nicholas questioned.

"Trust me." Dylan said. "I know how women think… sort of."

Dylan, Allister and Nicholas were all heading for the mess hall, expecting that Chris would ask everyone to report there soon anyway to announce that day's challenge. Plus they were getting hungry. They had no idea what Carolina was cooking, but whatever it was smelled delicious. Half of their team agreed that Chef going on vacation was the best thing that had happened since they'd arrived on the island. In the three days since the paintball challenge, every meal Carolina had served for the other campers had been exquisite to say the least. They way she explained it, she's rich. All she had to do was make one phone call and her parents had sent half a dozen professional cooks to the island.

When the three boys entered the mess hall, they were surprised to find that a lot of the other campers were already there. As expected, Chris was already there, thumbing through a few papers while Lena starred at him with a crazed look in her eye. Carolina and her cooks were in back getting lunch ready. Surprisingly, however, was that Allister was already there, sitting at the Moose team table and flipping carelessly through a magazine while Mr. Muggles lay at his feet, snoozing. At the Eagle team's table Jason sat quietly, reading a comic book titled "Deadpool" and occasionally glaring at the other two at the table; Ayame and Harper. Those two were sitting at the other end of the table talking casually and sitting next to each other rather closely. Dylan knew what was going on with them immediately and started clapping.

"Way to go!" he said while clapping. "Who would've guessed it, ninja girl and the klutz are the first hook up of the season. Bravo, I say, bravo!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Dylan's right. Who would've guessed it?" Jason said to the camera. "With the shape our team is in, I'm surprised anyone's speaking to each other… Something smells fishy, and it's not this rank outhouse."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Nicholas and Allister watched Ayame and Harper skeptically for a moment. Upon realizing that Dylan's words were true, their eyes widened and their jaws dropped. "Really?" they said in unison. "Them?"

"It's true." Ayame said, pulling Harper into a hug and kissing him on the cheek, causing him to blush.

"Trust me; I'm as shocked as you guys are." Harper said, scratching the back of his head. "Not that I'm disappointed or anything."

"So how long have you been rocking his world?" Dylan chuckled, sitting at his teams table but as close to the new couple as possible.

Both of them glared at him. "First off, I'm not rocking anyone's world, perv." Ayame growled. _Yet._ She mentally noted. "And second off, if you're asking how long we've been together… about five minutes."

With that said and done they went back to their own conversation while Nicholas and Allister sat on either side of Dylan. "I think they look good together." Allister said.

"Yeah." Dylan agreed. "Kinda puts romance in the air, doesn't it."

Allister sighed. "Dylan, I think we need to talk." He stood up and gestured for Dylan to follow him outside. Tak, Payton, Penny, and Ashlynn walked into the mess hall just as they left and they began speaking on the front porch. "Look, Dylan, I know what you're doing." Allister said.

"What? Are you talking about hitting on you or the sexual innuendo towards Ayame and Harper?" Dylan questioned sarcastically.

"Well, both." Allister admitted. "But mostly the first one."

"I see." Dylan said, nodding with a sly grin. "And your thoughts are…"

Allister sighed again and looked away from him, towards the beach. "Look, I do like you, all right. I just don't like you the way that you like me… Being attracted to other guys has given me more than my fair share of trauma over the years."

Dylan's smiled faded when he heard the seriousness in Allister's voice. "What happened?" he asked.

"When I was in the seventh grade I was just starting to realize that I'm bisexual." Allister explained. He paused briefly as Sakura, TJ, and Kyra walked passed them into the building before continuing. "Like now, I didn't really have a lot of friends, but I had a few… Eddie was one of my better friends and by the time the seventh grade was almost over I'd told him I had a crush on him. Turns out he was homophobic and he stopped hanging out with me. Over the summer words spread around that I was gay and people started making fun of me for it. Soon enough the few friends I had stopped hanging out with me and I became a complete outcast."

"Oh my god." Dylan said softly. "I had no idea, Allister."

"I know." Allister said. "And it's not your fault… Look, I'm not saying that we aren't going to happen. Since I've met you I've been happier than I've been in years… just give me a little time, all right?"

"Ok." Dylan agreed. "I'll back off. But I don't care how much you protest, we're always gunna be friends, got it?"

Allister smiled. "Always." He agreed.

As they headed back inside, Chris had just begun announcing that day's challenge. "Excellent." Chris said. "Now that everyone's here I can get to the point. Now, as you all remember, Chef Hatchet had a little temper tantrum and went on vacation a few days ago."

"WOOO!" all of the campers shouted in unison.

"Right… anyway, it turns out his little holiday lead him straight into a war zone, no details included. Needless to say, he's on his way back here right now and he's not in the greatest mood."

Wait for it…

All of the campers went crazy, running around the mess hall screaming their lungs out.

"AHH!"

"RUN AWAY!"

"DUCK AND COVER!"

"HIT THE DECK!"

"WE'RE ALL GUNNA DIE!"

And so on, and so on…

"WOULD YOU ALL SETTLE DOWN!" Chris shouted. Everyone froze briefly and then raced back to their seats, looking calm and collected as if their freak out had never happened. Chris eyed them suspiciously before continuing. "Relax, I can guarantee that Chef will be in a good mood when he gets here… that is, should you cooperate in the challenge. It turns out that the producers and I are as scared of Chef as you guys are. So, today's challenge is… to throw the most wicked awesome party in Chef Hatchets honor! You'll find everything you need waiting outside of your cabin, but you can ask Steve for anything you don't have that you think you might need. Each party will be judged by me. The winning team gets to party with me, Chef, and the camera crew while the losers, as usual, are doomed to send someone home. You have six hours starting… now. Go, go, go!"

The sixteen teenagers all raced out of the mess hall, leaving a dust cloud in their wake which caused Chris to start choking and coughing. "Jeez! Is Chef really that scary?" Chris questioned.

"You seriously have to ask that?" Steve asked from behind the camera. "Former Navy S.E.A.L., former criminal, possibly an escaped criminal, and some serious anger issues. He should get his own horror movie."

"You know I could seriously make that happen." Chris commented. "I could pitch the idea to Fox studios or something. We could call it _Psycho Chef_."

"Eh." Steve said, not to enthusiastic about the title.

~OUTSIDE~

"Oh, we totally have this in the bag." TJ said with a grin as he carefully eyes the supplies that the show had given them for the challenge. Being the party man that he was, he knew that everything they had was more than enough to throw Chef a wicked awesome party. Lights for when the sun went down, plenty of tables, a checklist for food and drinks that the crew would bring them, turn tables, stereo speakers the size of refrigerators, plenty of awesome music, and a party planning master and two of the only musicians on the island (bonus!). "Let's get to work! Jason, Harper, start setting up the speakers and turn tables. Carolina and Sakura, start setting up the lights. Lena and Ayame, set up the tables as best as you can. Kyra, you get take care of the food. I'm going to see if Steve can hook us up with anything useful."

"Whoa, whoa. Who put you in charge?" Sakura questioned.

"I am the party guy." TJ pointed out.

"I agree with Sakura." Lena said. "And what's with giving yourself the easy job?"

"Easy job?" TJ asked.

"Would you guys quit it already?" Kyra snapped "You're like a bunch of kindergarteners complaining about who's doing what and whose work is harder!"

"This coming from the girl who's in charge of getting the food." Carolina said as she started messing with the tangled wires of the lights.

"This coming from the spoiled brat." Kyra mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Carolina demanded.

Sakura, Lena, and Carolina all walked over to TJ and Kyra, glaring at them and them glaring back. Then all five turned their attention to Jason, Harper, and Ayame who were going about their work without complaint. "Well?" all five questioned.

"Staying out of it." Harper, and Ayame said in unison.

"I'm with TJ." Jason said "He knows more about parties than most of us ever will. I say we just do as he says and win the challenge easy." He got up and went to join TJ and Kyra. Soon enough an argument started between the two trios, leaving Harper and Ayame to sit and listen against their will as they went about with the jobs TJ had assigned them.

"I'm seriously getting tired of this." Ayame grumbled.

"Tell me about it." Harper agreed.

"Should we do something?" Ayame suggested.

"Like what?" Harper asked. Ayame just shrugged before going back to work when Harper spoke up again. "No, seriously, like what? This needs to stop fast… plus someone needs to put Sakura in her place for getting Nick kicked off."

Ayame thought it over for a moment as a devious plot began forming in her head. "I think I've got an idea… though it may involve getting the alliance back together temporarily."

Harper didn't hesitate. "I'm in."

~MOOSE CABIN~

"Soooo… anyone know what we're supposed to do here?" Tak asked his teammates.

"Not a god damn clue." Nicholas said. "Dylan?"

"Are you suggesting that I'm some kind of party maniac because I'm gay? Because that's a stereotype. If you're saying that I **will** hurt you." Dylan snapped. Nicholas backed off immediately.

All of the Moose, save for Russell who was taking Mr. Muggles to take care of his business, began thinking over what they could possibly do. The Eagles had the advantage with TJ on their team, but also had a disadvantage with their current trust issues. The challenge could easily work in their favor or they could get screwed all together. They just needed an idea.

"Hey." Allister said as his tarantula Jeremy crawled up his arm. "Russell's a rich asshole, right? Couldn't he, like, make a phone call or something?"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I didn't say they couldn't get outside help." Chris said to the camera.


	11. Welcome Home Psycho Chef Part 2

Episode 10: Welcome Home Psycho Chef Part 2

"Ok, let's get moving, people. I want this party up and running in less than three hours."

The Moose team sat lazily on their cabin porch, each drinking soda and watching as the party planner that Russell hired ordered around his workers. As far as they could tell, they had this challenge in the bag. Sure, the Shrieking Eagles had TJ, but they had one better… a professional. "Too Russell!" Dylan said, holding up his drink for a toast.

"Too Russell!" the rest of the Moose cheered.

"Too me!" Russell added before everyone took a drink.

"I think we have this challenge in the bag." Tak said

"Yeah. So long as Russell actually intends to pay these guys." Nicholas said.

Russell glared at them as he took a gulp of soda. "Hey, you realize that I can easily…" he paused as a look of nausea came over him and he suddenly let out a loud belch, probably from the soda. Everyone started laughing and Russell just shrugged and joined them.

"So how do you think things are going for the Eagles?" Payton asked.

The ground began to shake slightly and a loud explosion sounded. The Raging Moose team looked over to the Eagle Cabin to find a small mushroom cloud just behind it. "I believe that answers your question." Penny said, laughing. "And it also raises my curiosity. Shall we go spy on the competition?"

"Oh, this should be good." Ashlynn agreed. "I'm in."

"I might as well go." Nicholas said. "Feel like stretching my legs anyway."

Everyone else opted to stay behind.

Penny, Ashlynn, and Nicholas then crept over to the Eagle cabins discreetly as possible. What they saw could only be described as complete chaos. Absolutely nothing was done. TJ and Kyra were gone, probably handling food and getting things they didn't already have. Carolina and Lena were going about their work. Sakura and Jason were arguing over something, trying to pin the blame on each other. Harper and Ayame were working on setting up the stereo system which looked like it was the only thing that was close to complete.

"Oh, this is too much." Ashlynn said.

"This is perfect!" Penny said, ecstatic. "If they keep this up then we'll win for sure!"

"Don't be so sure." Nicholas said. "They've still got five hours to pull their act together. They could one hell of a come back by then… this feud of theirs has to end eventually. We just have to hope that TJ doesn't rally them with his partying skills."

"Why do you ruin the moment?" Penny questioned, annoyed.

"I'm trying to help, damn it." Nicholas growled. "… we need to find TJ."

"Why?" Ashlynn questioned.

"You really need to pay attention." Nicholas said. "Chris said that the rules were simply to make an awesome party. And since he's letting us get outside help, I'm betting there are other things we can pull off as well."

"So… explanation, please." Penny said.

"Penny, go back to the cabin and tell them that there's nothing to worry about. Ashlynn, go to the mess hall and see if you can find some duct tape." Nicholas ordered. "I'm going to see if I can find TJ."

The three of them split up, each heading for their appointed destination. Penny headed straight back to the cabin as instructed. "So how are things over there, Penny?" Allister asked. "And where did Ashlynn and Nicholas go?"

Penny just sat down and stretched her arms over her head. "Everything's just fine. We've got nothing to worry about." She said with a smile.

~ELSEWHERE~

Chef Hatchet grumbled as he awoke, having heard the captain over the intercom announcing that the plane would be landing soon. He rolled his eyes and latched his put on his seat belt as the plane descended to the ground. He looked out the window he was sitting next too and raised one eyebrow. There, out on the wing of the plane, was a seven foot tall, furry, purple skinned man. Some kind of Sasquatch? Chef just shrugged. "One hell of a hangover."

When the plane landed Chef quickly exited, grabbed his bags from luggage claim, and headed for the main exit of the airport. There he saw Steve the camera guy waiting for him. "Is bitchy girl gone?" Chef asked.

Steve just shrugged. "It'll take until tonight to get back to the island, so maybe. Just depends on if she's voted off or not."

Chef groaned and rolled his eyes. "I really need a new job."

"You and me both, big guy." Steve agreed as they headed to the car.

~EAGLE TEAM~

Jason sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he walked away from the pink haired girl he'd just had yet another argument with. "If she wasn't so proud…" he mumbled to himself as a sly grin appeared on his face.

"Hey, Jason!" He looked over his shoulder to find Ayame and Harper walking towards him.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Couldn't help but notice that you were fighting with Sakura." Ayame said. "We've got a little plan to put her in her place. You want in?"

"Say what now?" Jason questioned.

"We've got a plan to freak Sakura out." Harper explained. "We're going to rally an alliance, at least half the team if we can, and start spreading the word that, if we lose today's challenge, Sakura's the next one going home. So do you want in?"

"Are we really going to send her home?" Jason questioned.

"Depends." Ayame said with a dark grin.

He didn't even think about it. "Where do I sign?" Jason asked.

Ayame smiled. "Well all right. Now we just need one more. I'm going to see if I can find TJ. Harper, go talk to Kyra. Jason… go break the news to Sakura." She chuckled darkly on the last sentence.

The three split. Jason headed streak back to Sakura who was leaning against the back of their teams cabin, still steamed about the argument they'd had only moments earlier. When she saw him coming she groaned and glared at him. "What do you want?" she growled.

"I told you that the others were getting irritated." Jason said. "I just got done talking too Harper and Ayame. They're forming an alliance to get rid of you. They've already got half the team… including me."

She stared at him for a moment, like she was trying to figure him out. "You're lying." she said.

"Am I?" Jason said.

"But why?"

"Why do you think? You're paranoia is tearing the team apart."

"No, I mean… why would you…"

Jason sighed and crossed his arms, trying to think of what to say. "Look, Sakura, maybe there's a way out of this, but you're going to have to figure it out. Maybe if you just shut up and do what you're told we'll win the challenge so that you won't even have to worry about it."

Sakura sighed and turned away from him, trying to hide how upset she was. Jason put his hand on her shoulder. "Just do yourself a favor. No one wants to vote you off if they don't have to." He said to her reassuringly.

"Right…" Sakura mumbled as Jason walked away.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I think I'm in serious trouble here." Sakura said to the camera. "I know I haven't exactly tolerable for the last few days… I guess I kind of brought this on myself…"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

While Jason was breaking the news to Sakura, Ayame was busy looking for TJ. TJ had left quite a while ago to speak with Steve the camera guy and he hadn't been seen since. Ayame, Kyra, and most of their team were starting to get a bit worried. First Ayame checked with Steve who, apparently, hadn't seen TJ since the challenge started. She checked with Chris and some of the other crew, none of which had seen him either. "Where could he possibly be?" she grumbled as she headed to the Moose cabin, hoping that they'd seen him.

The first thing she noticed was that most of the other team, minus Nicholas, Penny, and Ashlynn was just sitting around on their cabin stoop while a bunch of people she didn't recognize got their party set for them. At first Ayame was furious about this, but quickly forgot her rage as she remembered her primary objective. "Hey!" she called to the Moose. "Have you guys seen TJ?"

"Nope." Tak said, not even bothering to look at her.

Ayame just sighed and turned away, but before she could leave there was a sudden banging from inside their cabin. "What was that?" Ayame questioned.

"Uh…" Tak froze, obviously having no idea of what to say.

"Nicholas and Penny are in their getting it on." Dylan said, chuckling to himself. "They must've fell off the bed again."

At that point Ashlynn stepped out of the cabin. "Hey, guys. Every…" she stopped when she saw Ayame standing there. "Uh…"

Once again, Dylan stepped in to save the day. "They must've turned it into a threesome!" he said.

"A what now?" Ashlynn questioned angrily.

"I don't want to know." Ayame said. "If you guys see TJ, tell him to get his ass back to the cabin and fast."

"You got it." Russell said.

As Ayame headed back to her teams cabin, the Moose waited until she was far enough away that she couldn't hear them before they started laughing. They all looked back into the cabin where they saw Nicholas and Penny standing proudly over TJ, his wrists and ankles bound with duct tape and a bandana tied around his mouth to keep him quiet.

"Sorry, TJ." Payton said as Nicholas and Penny left the cabin. "It's just good business." She said before closing the door, leaving TJ bound and gagged inside.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"They're going to pay for that." TJ growled at the camera. "I swear, if it takes me until I get voted off they will all pay. I don't care what your reasons are. You **DO NOT** bound and gag someone against their will… unless you're going to make it worth their while… which they didn't. Do you know how bored I was in there?"

~LATER ~

"All right. Judging time!" Chris announced as the two teams, save for TJ, gathered around him. "Hey, where's TJ? We need everyone here." There was a brief, awkward silence before Nicholas and Penny walked back to the cabin, dragging TJ, still bound and gagged, back with them.

"What the hell?" the entire Shrieking Eagle team demanded.

"Hey, we wanted to win." Nicholas stated. "And technically, this wasn't against the rules… right?"

Chris thought it over for a moment, rubbing his chin. "Well… you're technically right. I never said you couldn't abduct one of your opponent's star players and hole them captive until the end of the game… I'm deducting points for poor sportsmanship, but I really can disqualify you."

"Yes!" the Raging Moose cheered.

"What?" the Shrieking Eagles demanded.

"They totally sabotaged us! We never had a chance!" Sakura stated.

"You could've done the same to them." Chris said. "Now let's see those parties!"

They all headed over to the Eagles cabin. Needless to say, a complete disaster would've been an understatement. All but a few of the tables had either fallen over or cracked in half. What little food they'd managed to get had been thrown about, leaving a gigantic mess. All of the lights, which had been hanging from the edge of the roof of the cabin, had fallen and smashed on the ground. Even the "Welcome Home Chef" banner had ripped in half. The only thing that seemed in tact was the stereo system.

"Was it this bad when you left it five minutes ago?" Chris said.

"No, no it was not." Kyra said, as puzzled as anyone else.

"So, what happened?" Chris asked.

It was then that Mr. Muggles, Russell's Pomeranian, came trotting over to the group and jumped into its master's arms, licking Russell's cheek. "Why do I smell chips and barbecue sauce on your dog?" TJ asked, finally able to free himself from his restraints.

"Uh…" Russell groaned.

"Kill the dog!" Lena shouted.

"YEAH!" her team agreed.

"Hey, wait!" Russell pleaded, hugging the dog to his chest. "You can't blame him, he's just a dog! He didn't know any better. Ain't that right, Mr. Muggles?" he said, speaking the last sentence in baby talk. The dog just yapped once.

"Bull!" Jason said. "Chris, come on. You have to take our side on this."

"I can't. Unless Russell forced or ordered the mutt to destroy your party, no rules have been broken… you didn't, did you?"

"Hey, I love this dog more than anything." Russell said. "I'm not risking getting him in trouble."

"Good enough for me." Chris said. "Eagles, you're not looking to good. You'd better hope that the bear rampaged through the other team's party or one of you is going home."

With that, everyone headed over to the Moose cabin. Russell waited back a bit, waiting until he was at the back of the crowd. "Good boy." He said to Mr. Muggles, pulling a dog treat out of his pocket and giving it to the pint sized dog.

The Raging Moose's party was, needless to say, perfect. Nothing was out of place. Everything was set up right, unbroken, and working. The food was spread out perfectly over the snack bar. The lights were still in place. The stereo system was not only working, but already playing great music. And best of all, they had a big screen TV. "Now this is a party!" Chris announced. "I think we have our winners!" The Moose team cheered in triumph while the Eagle team groaned in disappointment. "As a reward, the Moose are going to rock this party along with Chef, the camera crew, and myself while the Eagles are stuck on clean up duty and must send someone home at the bonfire tonight."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"There's a lot of blame to go around this time." Kyra said to the camera. "But ultimately, we all know who's going home. I'm just glad Ayame and Harper got me in their alliance. No way I'm going home tonight."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Nothing personal, but you're just not much of a help in a challenge anymore." Harper said to the camera.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Sorry, but you've got to go." Ayame said to the camera.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Jason just made a fist at the camera and then held up his index and pinky finger as he put his vote into the box. "Later." He said.

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

Chris stood behind his podium as he waited for the remaining members of the Shrieking Eagles to arrive. First came Lena, who just sat there and stared lovingly and yet creepily at Chris as the others arrived. Next was the islands only resident couple, Harper and Ayame. Next came Carolina, busily talking on her cell phone in Spanish. Sakura arrived next, looking worried. Jason, TJ, and Kyra arrived together, TJ still rubbing his wrists from the chafing that the duct tape had left.

"All right, let's get this party started." Chris said, smiling. Then he looked down at his podium against. "Woops, sorry. Wrong cue card." He said, tossing a piece of paper over his shoulder. "I meant to say… And now it's time for the dreaded Bonfire ceremony. When I call your name, please come and claim your marshmallow. Ayame…" Ayame smiled, hugged Harper quickly, and went up to Chris to get her marshmallow. "Harper…" Harper nodded in approval as he went up to the podium. Ayame gave him a quick kiss before they ate their marshmallows. Chris just rolled his eyes. "TJ… Kyra… Jason… Lena…"

Only one left. Carolina glared over to Sakura. The pink haired girl didn't return the gaze. She just sat on her stump, looking down to the ground feeling nervous. "This is the final marshmallow of the night." Chris continued. "If you do not receive this marshmallow, you must walk the dock of shame, catch the boat of losers, and go home… and you can't come back… ever! The final marshmallow goes to…pausing for dramatic effect… Sakura."

Sakura looked up from the ground, both surprised and overjoyed. "Really?" she questioned. "But I thought you guys were going to vote me off."

"Hey, you seem sorry." Jason said, smiling. "That's reason enough to keep you around for another challenge."

"That and Carolina hasn't been that useful lately." Lena added.

Carolina just hung her head in shame and left, headed for the dock. As she walked away, Chef walked up to them. "So, bitchy girl's gone, huh? That just made my day." The oversized cook said.

"And you haven't even seen the welcome home party yet." Chris said.

"Party?" Chef questioned. "There'd better be buffalo wings."

"Of course."

"I'm in."

As Chris and Chef walked away, heading to the Moose cabin to join the party, the Eagles remained behind. They were all standing around the bonfire in silence except for the crackling of the fire, waiting for the inevitable. "Hey, guys." Sakura said, breaking the silence. "Thanks for not voting me off. And… I'm sorry for being so irritable these passed few days."

"Don't worry about it." TJ said.

"We'll just say you were on your period and forget all about it." Ayame said, punching Sakura in the arm playfully.

"We were never going to vote you off anyway." Jason assured her. "We just wanted to psych you out since you were getting on everyone's nerves."

"I guess I deserved it." Sakura agreed. "But I promise it won't happen again."

"Enough with the apology already!" Lena broke in. "We need to get back at the Moose for kidnapping TJ!"

Sakura smiled. "I think I can help with that."

~THE PARTY, LATER~

"You little brats! I oughta murder the lot of ya!" Chef shouted as he chased after the now scattering Moose team. Chris just sat at his table, laughing like crazy. Someone has spiked Chef's drink with what was suspected to be urine, an image of Chef in a dress (as seem in total drama action) had appeared on the TV screen, and someone had rigged the stereo to play the most annoying song in the world, Solja Boy, over and over again.

Jason and Sakura sat in the nearby bushes, laughing. Nice job." Jason said, high-fiving her. "But was it really necessary for me to spike his punch?"

Sakura just shrugged. "Think of it this way. He's only going to spike their drinks tomorrow morning."


	12. By Popular Demand Part 1

Episode 11: By Popular Demand Part 1

"Ok, let's get this over with quick, Steve." Chris said as he fixed his hair for the morning recap shoot and Steve the camera guy got his equipment ready. "I've got an eight a.m. appointment for a full body massage."

"Let me guess, happy ending?" Steve joked.

"I happen to have legions of fan-girls slash groupies, you know." Chris pointed out.

"So… you're getting a happy ending then?"

"You know it." Chris chuckled.

"You're on in five… four… three… two…" the red light on the camera flashed and Chris began his speech.

"Last time one Total Drama Dynamite… While the Raging Moose were enjoying themselves with Chef Hatchet being gone and having won their second challenge since the show started, the Shrieking Eagles continued down their path of destruction with their trust issues. So, when we got word that Chef was coming home early from his vacation and in a bad mood, we figured we'd kill two birds with one stone. In order to get a little team work going and get Chef in a good mood when he arrived back, the challenge was for the two teams to make a party. I don't think I even have to say whose team I'd rather have been on. While the Moose were smart enough to call in professionals, the Eagles struggled to even get their party off the ground. Needless to say, the Moose won… with a little help from Russell's dog Mr. Muggles. At the bonfire, despite everyone thinking Sakura was in trouble, it was Carolina who ended up going home.

"Today, we have a little something special planned for our campers. By popular demand, we've brought back one of the fan favorite challenges from season one, Total Drama Island . Which challenge will it be? Can the Shrieking Eagles win now that their trust issues are resolved or will the Raging Moose continue on their winning streak? And most importantly, who is going to loose their chance at one hundred thousand dollars. Find out now on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" The explosions along the beach went off and Steve shut off the camera.

"Not bad." He said.

"Hey, the quicker and better I get this done, the quicker I get to my massage." Chris said.

It was then that a boat pulled up to the dock, driven by a large, muscular black man with a bald head, a thick gray mustache, and wearing a camouflage tank top and short. Chris thought the man looked like he could be Chef's father. "Can I help you?" he asked.

"You Chris McClain?" the man asked in his deep, raspy voice. Chris nodded. "My name is Knuckles… I'll be giving you your massage this morning… damn schedule changes."

A look of horror crossed Chris's face while Steve just burst into a fit of hysterical laughter and turned his camera back on, hoping to catch the scene on tape. "Hello blackmail." Steve muttered.

Chris just bolted down the dock, through the camp, and into the forest. Knuckles just shrugged and got back into his boat. "Fine. But I'm still getting paid. Have pretty boy forward me the money. Tell him if he doesn't, he'll be getting an offer he can't refuse."

"Yes sir." Steve said, still laughing as Knuckles drove his boat away.

~LATER~

Ayame groaned softly as she awoke, her sleep interrupted by something small and wet running across her cheek. "What the…" she grumbled as she opened her eyes.

She almost screamed when she saw the canine face looking back at her, but caught herself when she realized it was the size of a house cat. It was just a puppy. It looked like a German Shepard, but its fur was grayish brown instead of black and brown. The puppy sat on the edge of her bed, panting and staring at her as Ayame sat up, watching the creature curiously. "What's a puppy doing on the island? Where's your mom, little guy?"

The little dog just yapped at her, its tail wagging, as it jumped off the bed… going to join the four identical creatures wandering around the cabin. Ayame was both confused and surprised (surprised mostly because one of them had its mouth locked around a strand of Sakura's hair and was yanking on it but she hadn't woken up).

"Oh, there they are." Ayame turned to find Steve the camera guy standing in the doorway. "Hey, Chris! I found 'em!"

"What's going on, Steve?" Ayame asked. "What's with the puppies?"

Steve bit his lip, obviously nervous about answering. "Th-they're for the challenge." He finally stuttered as her gathered up the little dogs.

"I'm guessing their mom has something to do with it too?"

Steve just grinned as he left, all five of the pups in his arms.

After Steve left, Ayame decided to get up and take a shower, considering she was awake already and was probably one of the few who was. When she headed for the washrooms, as expected, she found Tak already awake and taking his morning run and Payton was up hanging around on the Moose cabin porch. Other than that and Steve struggling to handle the five puppies in his arms the cam was quiet and peaceful… too peaceful. "Chris is up to something." Ayame muttered to herself, but she simple shrugged off the feeling, to tired and in need of a shower to care at the moment.

Just before she entered the washrooms, however, Ayame did look over her shoulder out to the lake. She thought she'd heard a far off scream.

~SOMEWHERE ON WAWANAKWA LAKE~

Nicholas groaned groggily as a few droplets of water hit his face, waking him from his restless sleep. "What the hell…" he grumbled. "Feel like I slept on a freakin' teeter-totter… where the hell is my pillow… and my sheets." He opened his eyes, finding himself staring up at the open sky. The sound of gulls and small waves surrounded him. His eyes snapped wide open and his body tenses. "Please tell me this isn't what I think it is…"

Nicholas slowly sat up, finding himself sitting in a canoe, surrounded by miles of water… with no paddles. He started to freak out did the first thing that came to mind.

Nicholas screamed at the top of his lungs.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I swear to god…" Nicholas growled to the camera. "If I ever figure out exactly who put me out on that lake they are going to suffer!"

~CAMP WAWANAKWA~

About an hour after Ayame woke up, she headed for the mess hall for breakfast. By now most everyone was awake and already there. She quickly got her food and took her seat next to Harper, greeting him and kissing him on the cheek before she began picking at Chef's disgusting food. "So I found out this morning that today's challenge has something to do with puppies." She said to her team mates.

"How do you figure that?" TJ questioned.

"Some of the little guys got loose this morning and woke me." Ayame explained.

"Well." Jason said, grinning slyly. "This is a useful peace of information. But I wonder what we have to do."

"If it involves harming them in any way then you can count me out." Lena said sternly, crossing her arms.

"I don't think even Chris is that demented." Sakura said.

"Yeah." Harper agreed. "He wouldn't put innocent animals in danger… us, on the other hand… He'll probably have us go chasing after the little guys with their mothers chasing after us."

"But they would maul us!" Kyra pointed out. "I don't think Chris and the producers want in injure us on purpose." There was a brief pause the other six Eagles started laughing.

"What are you guys laughing about?"

It was Ashlynn. Her and the rest of the Moose, save for Russell, were all looking over at the Eagle table, curious as to why they were laughing.

"Nothing." Lena said. "Kyra just said the funniest thing about this crazy show not being intentionally designed to cause us horrific injuries." Right on cue, all of the Moose started laughing as well.

"Hey, has anyone seen Nicholas?" Tak asked once the laughing died down.

~SOMEWHERE ON WAWANAKWA LAKE~

Nicholas jumped out of his canoe as it was beached on a small, unfamiliar island and knelt down, kissing the sand on the beach as if he'd been as sea for years. After he was done with his dry land worshiping, he got to his feet and began examining the island. "This isn't Wawanakwa." He muttered to himself. "And it looks uninhabited… guess I'll try to figure out which way camp is, get some drift wood for paddles and then…" he shuddered at the thought of being alone in that tiny boat.

He then began to walk the beach around the island, wanting to know if any other land was visible from this there. Unfortunately, there wasn't. However, along the way, he did manage to find few interesting items: an old, half deflated foot ball; a few empty water bottles, one of which had a SOS note in it; a lighter which still worked; an abandoned fishing pole; and even an old Jolly Roger flag. He even found a few good sized pieces of drift wood to use as paddles. "Great. Now I just have to figure out which way camp is and I'm home free."

Except for the part where he didn't know where camp was and that he'd have to spend hours in the middle of open water, Nicholas felt good about the whole situation. He had a way of getting food, a way of cooking food, the flag could tell him which way the wind was blowing, and he had means of entertainment with the football. He even had a…

Nicholas's jaw dropped when he returned to where his boat had been beached, only to find that it had been washed back out into the water and was nowhere to be found. He dropped his collection at his feet and fell to his knees, screaming a very long and exaggerated "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Just as he finished his shout, Nicholas slapped himself across the face. "Pull it together Nick." He mumbled to himself. "Now, what do people normally do in these situations?…" He began thinking of every lost at sea movie and TV show he'd ever seen: Gilligan's Isle, Castaway, Lost, etc. The he came to a realization. "Unless I pull as serious Tom Hanks here I am so screwed."

~CAMP WAWANAKWA~

"Morning campers!" Chris said as he entered the mess hall with that devious grin he always had. "Ready for today's challenge?"

"Where's Nicholas?" Allister asked.

"Oh…" Chris covered his and chuckled. "He's around. Now let's get started with today's challenge! Follow me!"

The fourteen campers unwillingly did as instructed and followed Chris out of the mess hall. He led them to a fenced in area with some kind of box covered with a red cloth in the middle. The box was making strange yapping sounds, probably the puppies. "All right, Ayame, get in." Chris ordered as he climbed over the fence.

"Why me?" Ayame questioned.

"You'll see."

She followed him into the pen as instructed. He removed the cloth to reveal, as expected, the five puppies sitting inside of a cage. Chris opened the cage and they all came darting out, two of them jumping into Ayame's arms. "Aw." Ayame sighed as she cuddled the little canines to her chest. "What kind of dog's are these, Chris?"

Chris just sniggered. "Wolves." He said.

Ayame's eye's widened in terror and she tossed the dogs in her arms to Chris, darting out of the pin and straight to Harper, hugging him tightly and burying her face in his chest. She was shaking, completely terrified. "What's wrong, Ayame?" Harper asked in concern.

"Wolves…" Ayame managed to whimper into his shirt.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I've been terrified of wolves for years." Ayame explained. "It was a few years back. My family and I were on a trip to Mount Fuji. Somewhere along the line I went off on my own to use the bathroom and a wolf came out of nowhere and attacked me. My brother managed to scare it off, but the damage had been done. I've kept my distance from large dogs ever since and I shudder at the mere mention of a wolf."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"What the hell, Chris!" Harper demanded. "Are you trying to give her a heart attack?"

"That's not my goal, but it might as well be." Chris said. "Anyway, today's challenge is a fan favorite which has returned from season one by popular demand! Phobia Factor!" Everyone gasped, suddenly knowing that they're worst fears would soon be revealed to everyone and that they would have to face them. "So yeah, it'll be the same as last time. Everyone faces their worst fears. Anyone who does so successfully gets a point for their team. Which ever team has the most points at the end wins. Ayame, you're first. All you have to do is…" He bent over and picked up one of the wolf puppies. "… just hangout and play with these little guys for a few hours."

Ayame, still, hugging Harper, looked over her should. She saw one of them sitting at the edge of the enclosure looking back at her. But when it started growling at her, she tenses up and turned away again. "C'mon, Ayame, you can do this." Harper reassured her. "They're just puppies. I doubt they even have teeth yet." Ayame looked up and smiled at him, though still shaking. "C'mon. I'll be cheering for you from right over here and if they even try hurting you I'll jump in."

"All right." Ayame agreed. She leaned up and kissed Harper quickly. "Thanks." She then turned around and looked Chris right in the eye, glaring. "All right, let's do this."

"Cool." Chris said. "Harper, you can stay here and watch. The rest of you follow me."

As Chris and the others left, Ayame stood just beyond the fence, watching with her jaw shaking slightly as a few of the puppies wrestled around with each other. She almost backed out, but then felt Harper's reassuring hand on her shoulder. "You can do this." He told her. She just smiled and nodded without looking at him before jumping over the fence.

"Let's get this over with." She said as one of the puppies darted over to her and began sniffing her ankle.

After leaving Harper and Ayame, Chris lead the campers back to the mess hall where Chef waited for them with a chair and a pair of scissors. Sakura gulped. "So, who wants a hair cut?" Chris asked. "Sakura, maybe?"

Sakura growled. "You are evil."

"Ain't I, though?" Chris joked.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I'm being completely serious." Sakura said sternly. "Chris is a complete psycho. I mean, sure, I was a bitch for the last few days, but Chris… I honestly think we should use him as a sacrifice to please the volcano gods if you catch my meaning."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Sakura just rolled her eyes and took a few steps forward before looking back at her team mates. Kyra, TJ, and Lena were just waiting to see what Sakura would do. Jason, however, seemed different. He didn't have that 'will she, wont she' look in his eye… it seemed more like he was telling her to just go for it. With one final sigh, Sakura sat down on the chair in front of Chef. "Let's get this over with." She groaned. Chef nodded, took all of her long, pink hair in one hand and hacked most of it off with the scissors in one swift movement, leaving it less than shoulder length. When what remained of her hair fell back down it looked surprisingly well cut, almost professional.

"Way to go, Sakura!" Chris said enthusiastically as her team mates began cheering. "One point for the Eagles!"

While the rest of her team was cheering for her and the Moose team was groaning, Sakura took a look at the long strands of hair now on the floor and sighed. "It's going to take forever to grow this back… and it looks awful."

"You look fine." Sakura turned around to find Jason standing there, his hands stuffed in his pockets. "Don't worry about it… but why is your worst fear getting your hair cut?"

"Bad experience when I was younger." Sakura explained, pulling her hair back on one side to reveal a small notch on the side of her ear. "Let's just say that I'm never letting my mom near my head with a sharp object again."

Jason just laughed. "You and everyone else in the world." He said. "Now c'mon. The others are leaving and I think Russell's up next."

When Jason and Sakura caught up with the others, Chris was already tying Russell's ankle to a short rope tied to a tree, barely giving him enough room to move around. "What did you do that for?" Russell questioned.

"So that you wouldn't be able to do anything when I did this." Chris said before snatching Mr. Muggles from Russell's arms and bolting off. Russell started freaking out, begging to have his poor little Mr. Muggles back, but his cries went ignored. "Okay, Payton, now it's your turn." Chris held Mr. Muggles up to Payton's face, making her flinch. "Hug the rat."

"No!" Russell shouted, struggling to untie himself. "Don't you dare!"

Nervously, Payton went to take the little dog from Chris, but when it yapped at her she flinched and pulled her arms back. "Do I really have to? It's so creepy…"

"No, you don't have to." Chris said. "You also don't have to get your team a point."

"Fine, fine…" Payton groaned as she snatched the dog away from him and hugged it a little tightly. To her surprise, Mr. Muggles actually started licking her cheek. A shiver went up her spine as she tossed the dog back to Chris; but still she smiled, pleased with herself.

"Brief, but I'll take it." Chris said. "One point for the Moose!"

"Okay, that's it, right? You can give me back Mr. Muggles now?" Russell pleaded.

"Sorry, dude. But you still have a few more hours."

"You are an evil man."

"Yeah." Chris agreed. "But hey, you can be evil in show business. It's practically required. Now then… Onward to Dylan!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Ok, Chris, you're next on my hit list." Russell growled.

~SOMEWHERE ON WAWANAKWA LAKE~

"Okay, let's think." Nicholas muttered to himself, looking over the limited supplies that he had. "You've got everything you need except a boat. You can make fire, you can get food, you're surrounded by fresh water… probably want to boil it first though, and you even have a way of knowing which way the wind is coming from… and you're talking to yourself. Good god it's happening already!"

Nicholas had been stranded on his little island a grand total of three hours and already he was starting to loose his mind. Or at least that's what it felt like to him. Even if he was on dry land, simply the notion of being surrounded by water all by himself simply terrified him. "Keep it together, Nick." He muttered to himself. "You've seen Castaway. All you have to do it build a raft and you're home free!"

_You crazy?_

Nicholas glanced around, trying to find where the voice had come from. But all he saw was his supplies and the deflated football he'd found, which he now noticed had a few holes in it that make it look like it had a face. "Did a tattered football just talk to me?"

_Hey! My name it Nelson!_ The football snapped. _And as I was saying… Are you crazy? That is miles and miles of open water over there. You're terrified of open water._

"Right now I'm more concerned about the fact that I'm talking to sports equipment." Nicholas said. "And besides, not only do I have to get off this island to survive, but also to have a chance at a hundred thousand dollars."

_A hundred thousand dollars!_ Nelson exclaimed. _Hell, man! Get to work! Make a raft quick, quick, quick!_

"And I've just come to the realization that I have nothing to cut down any trees with."

At that exact moment Nicholas noticed something wash onto the shore. To his surprise, and suspicion, it was the propeller blades to a motor boat. "That's sort of… convenient. I'm starting to think…"

_Don't think and get to work. You're half crazy and desperately in need of a hundred thousand dollars. Just take the blessings as they come!_ Nelson snapped.

Nicholas shrugged. "Yeah, I guess you're right… I have got to stop talking to that football." With that he stood and got to work making his raft, cutting down trees and making rope to tie them together… the whole time unaware that cameras were hidden throughout the island watching his every move.

~CAMPE WAWANAKWA~

Chris laughed as he watched Nicholas on the monitors. He was sitting in the control room in the Wawanakwa mines with a piping hot cup of coffee and a dozen donuts. "This is too great." He chuckled. "He actually thinks he's stranded on an island! Even figments of his imagination are convincing him of that. Man I love my job!"


	13. By Popular Demand Part 2

Episode 12: By Popular Demand Part 2

"Okay, Dylan, are you ready for possibly the most frightening experience of your life?" Chris chuckled as he pushed Dylan towards the piece of crap plane the producers had salvaged from a junk yard, Chef waiting in the cockpit. "You're going sky diving!"

"Chris, I would rather be thrown into a pit full of rabid hyenas." Dylan protested. "Can we do that please?"

"What're you talking about, Dylan? This is perfect for you." Chris snickered. "You'll be in a plane five-thousand feet above the ground. If you jump, you'll be close to the group. You are afraid of heights, right?"

"I'm terrified of them! That's why I don't want to get into that freakin' plane!"

Chris crossed his arms and sighed. "Fine. But you're risking your neck and a hundred thousand dollars, man."

Dylan's team began to worry about getting behind in the challenge and started to cheer encouragement for him. But nothing seemed to get through to him. He just stood there, quivering in fear and staring at the plane. At one point Penny and Tak even tried to force him onto the plane by picking up and throwing him one, but this only resulted in some pulled hair and a shoe to the face. Eventually fed up with the situation, Allister decided to step in. He quickly walked up to Dylan and whispered something into his ear. "What? Are you serious?" Dylan questioned.

"Get in that plane and you'll find out." Allister said, crossing his arms.

Dylan put his hands behind his head and groaned, trying to figure out what to do. He was terrified of getting on that plane but what Allister was offering was too good to pass up. "I hate ultimatums." He complained. On the one hand, he'd basically be signing a contract for a suicide mission if he got on that plane, but not getting on the plane meant Allister wouldn't go through with what he'd offered. After a few minutes of arguing with himself, he finally made his decision and took a few steps towards the plane… but then remembered that it was a plane. "Nope, nope! I'm sorry, but I'm not getting into that death trap." He said as he started stomping towards the camp. "I'm sorry, but I'm sure I'll get another chance, Allister."

There was a brief awkward silence before the question on everyone's mind was asked. "What the hell did you say to him?" Payton asked.

Allister just smirked. "I offered him a kiss."

"As lovely as that is, Allister," Chris said, walking up to the group, "He still refused to face his fear, costing you a point. Now let's move on…" He looked over the group of campers, both Eagles and Moose, before choosing who was next. "Ashlynn! Guess what."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Chris is so getting it after this challenge is over." Ashlynn growled. "I'm devising an extremely humiliating revenge as we speak." She smirked.

~MESS HALL~

Everyone gawked at the elevator doors that had mysteriously appeared in the mess hall. "Ashlynn." Chris began. "All you have to do is ride this elevator to the top, grab the pass for one point, and then ride it back down. Okay?"

"No! Not okay!" Ashlynn protested. "It could get stuck or the cables could snap or…"

"Ashlynn!" Chris broke in. "It's perfectly safe. It's up to date with all of the regulations for any elevator, the cable wont snap because they're made of steel and six inches thick, and you only have to go up **two floors**!"

"Ha! You forgot about the basement!"

"Ha! There is no basement! Now are you doing this or what?"

Ashlynn bit her lip and looked over her options. Her team was one person ahead, yes. But Dylan had already refused to do his challenge, so if she didn't do hers and all of the Eagles finished theirs then they would loose the challenge and it would be her fault. But even with that risk, was she willing to risk going into an elevator? "What do you know… Dylan was right about ultimatums." She grumbled.

"Well?" Chris questioned. "You gunna do it or what?"

Ashlynn sighed…

~WOLF PIN~

Harper smiled as he watched Ayame run around and play with the five wolf puppies. He was proud of her. Sure, they were just puppies, but they were still wolves and she was facing her worst fear. "Great job, Ayame!" he called to her. "Just a few more minutes and you're done."

Ayame looked over to him, hugging two of the puppies to her chest, and sighed. "Oh, thank god. I get shivers every time I touch one of these guys."

"Really?" Harper questioned with a smirk. "You seem to have grown quite fond of them."

Ayame just giggled and set the two puppies down as she walked over to him. "Well, it's like you said, they're just puppies… and you were also right about them not having teeth… though they are teething." She shuddered at the thought as a chill ran up her spine.

"Oh, cry." Harper said, rolling his eyes. "Just be glad they're not full grown."

"Way to be supportive, ya jerk." Ayame joked as she leaned over the fence and gave him a quick kiss. Then she felt one of the puppies sniffing at her ankle and knelt down to scratch it behind the ear. "So Harper, what is Chris going to make you do for this challenge?"

Harper just grinned slyly. "Due to recent events, I'd have to say nothing."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Let's put it this way. Up until I met you I was terrified of getting close to a girl."

Ayame perked up when she hear this and she smiled mischievously, picking up the puppy she was petting. "So let me get this straight." She said, leaning close to him. "I'm your **first** girlfriend?"

Harper immediately blushed and looked away shyly. "I didn't say that!"

"I'm not hearing a _no_." Ayame laughed. Then, seeing that Harper was extremely embarrassed, she realized that she was, in fact, right. Suddenly feeling ashamed of making fun of him, she quickly grabbed his hand. "Harper, relax. It's fine. Everyone goes at their own pace."

"Right." Harper said, his face returning to its normal color. "So how many boyfriends have you had?"

"Not as many as you'd think." Ayame said with a grin. "My parents are pretty strict. I…" She paused and glanced around quickly, as if looking for something."

"Something wrong?"

"Just making sure that those nose camera men aren't around. Don't exactly want my conservative parents hearing this story."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Nope, no camera men." Ayame groaned, running her fingers through her hair. "But it wasn't until later that I found out that the trees are filled with hidden camera. Thank God this show doesn't air in Japan… does it?"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Even if I don't win that hundred grand, I have to say I'm glad I came to the island." Harper said to the camera. "I met Ayame here and got over my fear of girls. Who knows what else I can accomplish."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"So, anyway, I've had one boyfriend before you." Ayame explained. "It was short and unpleasant… but memorable. You should actually be glad, because that guy's the reason I realized that guys like you are my type."

"I'm not going to say I'm glad you've dated someone else… but I'm not complaining."

Ayame rolled her eyes. "Good enough."

It was then that they noticed Chef walking towards them, pushing what they guessed was a box covered in a cloth. He quickly pushed the box through the pins gate. "Surprise, surprise!" he shouted as he pulled the cloth away, revealing two fully grown, sleeping wolves in a cage. "Meet mommy and daddy!" He then opened the cage, causing the wolves ears to perk up as they slowly awakened. Ayame just stood at the edge of the pin, next to Harper, and watched in terror as the wolves slowly exited their cage and the puppies went over to their parents. The mother sniffed one of her offspring, looked over to Ayame, and snarled. Ayame screamed and jumped over the fence, running up the nearest tree and clinging to a branch. "Congratulations!" Chef laughed, saluting her. "You just lost your challenge!"

"Kuso jiji!" Ayame shouted from the tree. Neither Harper or Chef knew what she'd said, but suspected it was an insult.

"What is your problem?" Harper demanded. "I know she's supposed to be facing her worst fear, but full grown wolves without leashes? What's wrong with you? And can't you get in trouble for interfering with a challenge?"

"In this order." Chef said. "My problem is that I'm a former Navy S.E.A.L working as a cook on a crap TV show. I realize that they're full grown wolves, but they were bred in captivity and are as gentle as the puppies. And yes, I could get in big trouble if it weren't for the fact that I was under strict orders from the producers to do this. So **SHUT UP**! I'm just doing my job!" With that, Chef stomped off to his kitchen.

Harper just sighed and walked over to Ayame's tree, hoping to calm her down enough that she could safely climb down.

~LATER~

"I can't believe you didn't get in that freakin' elevator, Ashlynn." Penny grumbled. "Now we're behind a point!"

"Oh would you give it a rest already?" Ashlynn snapped. "I talked to Russell on the way here. He said he saw Ayame and Harper heading back to their cabin and Ayame was terrified. She lost her challenge, so we're still tied." She explained.

"You'd better be right." Penny said.

Ashlynn and Penny, along with the rest of the Moose and Eagles, Were still in the mess hall, waiting for Chris and Chef to return with Jason's challenge. Jason was sitting at his teams table with his arms crossed and a cocky grin on his face. His team was standing behind him, all giving words of encouragement. The Moose all sat around their table having various discussions and betting on how long it took before Russell snapped. Mr. Muggles sat was laying under the table at Payton's feet, the girl trying to ignore the rodent like dog next to her.

Chris and Chef had disappeared into the kitchen only minutes earlier, so it surprised them all when they returned quickly, Chef holding a silver plate with a large, dome like cover. "Ready, Jason?" Chris asked.

"Bring it." Jason said, cracking his knuckles. "What's on the menu?"

Chef chuckled as he set the plate on the table in front of him and removed the cover, revealing an ordinary sandwich. "Tuna fish." He said. Jason's face went green and he ducked his head under the table, throwing up.

"Does that count as a disqualification?" Chris asked.

"I believe so." Chef agreed.

"Ok! Jason loses! Up next… Lena! You're going to watch documentaries on global warming and the possible extinction of the whale!"

Chef then wheeled in a large, flat screen TV and a DVD player, and then pulled up a chair. Lena gulped and sat in the chair. "For the record, if you get out of this chair, you loose." Chef explained. Lena nodded as Chef hit play on the remote and an image of a whale carcass appeared on the screen.

Meanwhile, Sakura, Kyra, and TJ were all glaring at Jason, who was still slightly green. "Tuna fish?" Sakura demanded. "Really? Tuna fish?"

"Dude, I understand not liking the stuff. I'm not a fan either." TJ said. "But being afraid of it? How the hell did that happen?"

"You'd be terrified of the stuff too if you almost choked to death on it when you were three." Jason explained.

There was a brief, awkward pause, before the badgering continued. "But Tuna Fish? Really?" Kyra questioned. This continued for the next two hours, until Lena finished her challenge.

While the Eagles were scolding Jason and Lena was doing her challenge, Chris moved onto one of the Moose. "Let's see here… eany, meany, miney… Tak! What do you say you and me listen to some Willy Nelson? Or maybe the Charlie Daniels Band is more your style? Carry Underwood, maybe?"

Tak was already in the corner, sitting in the fetal position, by the time Chris said Willy Nelson. "Please, anything but Carry Underwood. Just fail me…"

"Fine by me." Chris said, shrugging.

After that, everyone just sat around and waited for Lena to complete her challenge, which she did successfully. Then… "**WHERE IS HE?**"

Everyone jumped, and a few people ducked under the tables, as Russell kicked in the Mess Hall doors and stomped inside. "**WHERE… IS… MY… MUGGLY-POO!**"

"Have a cow, why don't ya." Tak said, rolling his eyes as he handed the Pomeranian to Russell.

"Is his time up yet?" Chris questioned to Chef. Chef looked at his watch quickly and nodded in confirmation. "All right! Congratulations, Russell! You have successfully completed your Phobia Factor challenge!"

Russell just glared at him with a blood lust in his eyes that no one dared bring out. "If you **EVER** take Mr. Muggles away from me again I will **MURDER** **YOU**!" He shouted before stomping out of the Mess Hall. Heading for no one knew where.

There was yet another awkward pause, then Dylan spoke up. "Am I the only one who's surprised he didn't turn green and knock a gigantic hole through the wall?"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Russell scares me now." TJ admitted to the camera. "I mean, he was just annoying at first, but now he's a grade A psychopath. If you ask me, the Moose should get rid of Russell as soon as possible. That would be doing us all a favor… and give us a reason to have a party!"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Next up, Penny!" Chris announced. He led them to the base of the thousand foot cliff, and they were surprised to find it covered in snow, though fake snow, since it was summer. "Wanna go skiing?"

"Snow, really?" Ashlynn questioned, quietly laughing to herself.

"Hey, I was trapped in an avalanche for two days!" Penny snapped. "What's you excuse, elevator-phobic?"

Ashlynn tried to retort, but couldn't think of anything quick enough before Penny started up the hill. "Touché…" she growled.

At the top of the Cliff, Penny found a pair of skis and ski poles. She quickly got ready and then waited for Chris's signal. Chris whipped out a starting pistol, pointed it in the air, and pulled the trigger. Penny pushed off with her poles and started steadily down the mountain. All seemed fine at first… but then Chris lit a signal flare and a helicopter came up from behind them and hovered over the top of the cliff. Then the choppers bottom opened and a mass of fake snow which started rolling down the hill after Penny like an avalanche. She panicked and started pushing off with her poles more to gain speed. Over the roar of the avalanche, the others thought they heard the faint sound of Penny threatening to kill Chris if she got out of there alive. It wasn't long before Penny passed by Chris and Chef stepped out in front of everyone with a flamethrower, waving back and forth as the snow came at him in order to melt it.

As traction built up, Penny came to a halt on her skis and then collapsed on the ground, panting heavily. Through her gasping for air, she managed the choke, "This… show… sucks."

"Hey, you did good and you beat your challenge." Chris said. "Now there's just a few of you left… and Nicholas if he ever gets back. Let's move on!... TJ?"

TJ felt a tapping on his shoulder. "Yeah right. Like you really know… what my fear… is…" He gulped as he turned around and his face flushed white. Orange hair. Creamy white face. Big shoes. A yellow and purple spotted suit, and a big red nose. "Clown!" TJ shouted. He went to punch at it, but his fist ended up bouncing of the clown's nose, coming back, and hitting him right in the face, knocking him unconscious.

Everyone went silent in shock and Kyra rushed to TJ's side… Chris and Chef' however, started laughing so hard that it hurt. "Dude! How epically did he just fail?" Chris laughed.

"About as badly as you failed when you almost got that massage from a dude!" Chef laughed. Chris just glared at him. "Too soon?"

~SOMEWHERE ON WAWANAKWA LAKE~

_**WAKE UP!**_

Nicholas's eyes snapped open and he sat bolt upright at the sound of Nelson the Football's voice. "What? What? What happened?" Nicholas and Nelson were now out in the middle of the lake on their raft, and once again land was nowhere to be found.

_We're lost._

"Yes, thank you, I can see that." Nicholas grumbled. "Stupid football."

_Hey! Footballs have feelings too!_

"No they don't! You're an inanimate object!" Nicholas snapped. "The only reason I can hear your voice is because I've gone crazy from being alone for so long!"

_Oh, what? You've been lost since you woke up this morning. That was eight hours ago!_

Nicholas growled in frustration and messed up his hair with his fingers. "I am tired of you!" he said before grabbing the football and chucking it into the water.

_You're welcome!_

Nicholas waited until the football had hit the water and sunk beneath the waves before speaking again. "Thank god that's over." He sighed. Then he realized that e wasn't hearing voices anymore. "All right! I got over my own insanity!"

Then a seagull landed on the raft and spoke to him and voice that sounded vaguely like his mother. _Nicholas! What did I tell you about throwing things?_

Nicholas screamed. "**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!**"

~CAMP WAWANAKWA~

"Ok, we're down to our final two. Allister and Kyra." Chris announced. They were at the amphitheater. Kyra and Allister stood before Chris on the stage while everyone else, including Ayame, Harper, and Russell who'd recently rejoined the others, sat in the stands. "Now, I'm going to be polite and let the lady go first… Allister."

"Funny." Allister said sarcastically.

"I thought so." Chris agreed.

Chef came out from behind the curtains and pulled them apart, revealing a few small glass cages full of mice and rats. Next to those was a larger one that was empty and had a door large enough for Allister to fit through. "Get in." Chris ordered. Allister did as ordered. "Now, you only have to last sixty seconds without so much as screaming after all of them are in, got it?"

"Let's get this over with." Allister grumbled. With that, Chef started grabbing the cages full of rodents and tossing them in. It only took about fifteen seconds before all of them were in and the door was closed.

Sixty seconds later…

"Time!" Chris said as he opened the door. Allister bolted out. "Good job man. Point for the Moose!"

Chef started cleaning up as Chris moved over to Kyra. "All right, Kyra. It's down to you. You decide whether your team wins or looses."

"What're you talking about? We'll still be a point behind if I succeed." Kyra explained.

"Shut up." Chris said quickly and quietly, so no one else could hear. "Now let's get started!" Chris then bolted off the stage to join the audience. "Just stay right there." He told her one he was safely out of harms way… wait… harms way?

"Hey, girly…"

Kyra turned around to find Chef standing behind her with a sinister grin on his face. She was about to ask what he wanted when he reached into the pocket of his apron and pulled out a revolver, pointing it at her forehead. "Say Goodnight!"

Kyra felt like she was paralyzed with fear. She heard everyone in the stands gasp in horror. . Images from her past, of that fateful night began flashing through her head. She remembered the look on his face as the bullets struck his chest… blood splattering everywhere… the crazed look in the killer's eye… her own silent tear falling to the ground as she hid, cowering in a nearby tree. And now what had happened to him was about to happen to her.

"Kyra!"

At the sound of TJ's voice Kyra's karate instincts kicked in. She quickly grabbed the wrist of the arm holding the gun and twisted, causing Chef to drop the gun and yelp in pain. Kyra then brought her leg up and kneed him in the stomach, causing the large man to hunch over and clutch his gut with his good arm. Kyra then grabbed the arm she'd twisted and, with all her strength, lifted Chef up by that arm and flipped him over her back. Chef landed on his back, mumbling hysterically as the pain she'd caused coursed through him.

"It's just a water gun…" he said in some sort of combination mumble and pain induced laugh. "It's just a water gun…"

Confused by his words, Kyra glanced over to the gun on the stage floor. Sure enough, it was made of plastic. In fact, she was surprised she'd mistaken it for a real gun… mostly because it was green. "Woops. My bad."

"In an awesome display of martial arts…" Chris announced as he walked onto the stage. "… Kyra has earned the last possible point for her team, which means…"

He broke off as Nicholas came running into view, coming from the direction of the beach. "I'm back!" he shouted as he dropped to his knees and started kissing the ground. "I'm back! Oh, thank you, sweet merciful god, I'm back!"

"Scratch that." Chris said. "Moose win!"

"We know!" all of the Eagles yelled simultaneously.

"Trust me, no you don't." Chris said.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"What's Chris up to?" Payton questioned. "We all knew that the Eagles lost already… Some sort of twist, perhaps?"

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Sakura, TJ, Kyra, Ayame, Lena… Marshmallows for the lot of ya!" Chris announced as he tossed the sacred marshmallows to each of the names called. Jason and Harper immediately glanced at each other in anticipation. Everyone else on the team was also worried for one or the other or both, especially Ayame. "So, anyone want to explain why these two are on the chopping black?" Chris questioned with a grin. "Anybody? No? All right then, the final marshmallow goes to… Jason."

"Yes!" Jason said as he caught the marshmallow.

"What?" Harper questioned. "Why? I didn't do anything?"

"Exactly." TJ said. "You didn't do anything this challenge. At least Jason almost faced his fear… of tuna fish."

"Shut it, TJ." Jason growled.

"Actually, you're wrong." Chris broke in. "You see, I refrained from mentioning that Harper actually got you guys a point before the challenge even started. You see, before he came here he was terrified of getting close to a girl. But since him and Ayame are doing the horizontal monster mash now…"

"We are not!" Ayame snapped.

"Whatever." Chris said, rolling his eyes. "Since they're dating now, he actually completed his task before anyone else. So you guys would've tied the Moose if Nicholas wouldn't have come back."

"Great, thanks a lot, guys!" Ayame growled as she moved over to Harper, who seemed to be taking things surprisingly well, and hugged him. "Not only did you vote off one of our best players, but you voted off my boyfriend!"

"Ayame, it's all right." Harper insisted. "I had a one in twenty chance of winning from the beginning. And I promise, this isn't the last time we'll see each other." With that He leaned in and gave her a lingering kiss before pulling away and heading for the dock of shame.

They all waited there silently until Harper was gone. Then Ayame turned towards her team mates, angry and with tears in her eyes. "Jerks!" she said before walking off towards the cabins.

"I think we just made a mistake." Kyra said.

"Definitely." TJ agreed.

* * *

a/n: I feel like I rushed this chapter a bit. I think I could've made Harpers elimination much more effective. But, whatever. thats for you guys to decide. anyway. some of you may have noticed that I made expansions on some of your characters histories. I'll probably have to do that throughout the story, so I hope you don't mind.


	14. Truth or Doom

(a/n) glad to finally have this chapter done. I had a hard time writing it because the challenge was difficult to think through, which is also the reason its a single chapter challenge, though this is longer than most chapters. the next challenge will be easier to write because it'll let me get in some character development and do the challenge at the same time. so, anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Episode 13: Truth or Doom

"Last time one Total Drama Dynamite some stuff happened." Chris yawned. "There. Can I go back to bed now?"

Steve sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Chris wasn't being very cooperative that morning. First he was late for the morning recap shoot, then he refused to work until a cup of coffee was brought to him, during the first take a fish jumped out of the lake and landed in his hair (not his fault, true, but he was annoying as ever when he started complaining), and to top things off the take Chris had just wasted was their fourth try. "C'mon, Chris. We've got to get this done." Steve insisted. Chris muttered something vile under his breath and Steve rolled his eyes. "Take five."

Suddenly Chris's angry expression faded and he returned to his usual smirk. "Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… A fan favorite challenge returned from season one… make way for Phobia Factor! Each of our remaining fifteen campers had to face their worst fear. We started off by stranding Nicholas in the middle of the lake. Then we let Ayame have fun with some wolves. From there the irrational fears ranged from Tak's fear of country music to Jason's fear of tuna fish to Sakura's fear of getting her hair cut. Ultimately, though, props went to Kyra who went face to face with a crazed Chef with a gun and ripped him a new one! Curiously, Harper wasn't given a challenge, prompting his teammates to vote him off. As it turned out, though, he actually faced his fear in the previous episode when he got over his fear of girls and started dating Ayame. After realizing this, the rest of the Eagles immediately regretted it. See, not only was Harper smart… but now Ayame is maaaaaaaaad!

"Today, our campers are going to have to face humiliation or… well, you'll see. They say that happiness lies in truth. You'll find out why today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" the annual explosions went off and Steve shut off the camera, allowing Chris to return to his irritated mood. "Finally!" Chris groaned.

"Okay, what crawled up your ass?" Steve demanded. "You've been in this mood all morning, so I'm guessing that either you have one serious hangover, you just lost a big bet, or something is **literally** up your ass!"

Chris groaned and sat down on the edge of the dock. "You got two out o three right. Big party last night."

"Ah… so which ones did I get right?" Steve snickered.

"Shut up."

~LATER~

"You okay, Ayame?" Kyra asked.

Ayame looked up to Kyra from her place on her bed, lying on her stomach with her face half buried in her pillow and her arms underneath it. It had been three days since Harper was voted off the island and she was still upset about it. At first she'd been enraged by what had happened and took her anger out on her team mates, mostly be using her karate moves to send them flying halfway across the island. But after a few hours and a good nights sleep her anger subsided to her current state: constant sulking. She hadn't said much of anything since Harper left other than "thank you" to Chef when he gave her food. She responded to Kyra's question simply by groaning.

"C'mon, cheer up, Ayame." Kyra insisted. "It was bound to happen eventually."

Ayame sighed and sat up, making eye contact with the blond girl. "I just didn't expect him to go so soon… or for such a stupid reason."

"I get it." Kyra assured her. "We over reacted. We didn't really have a reason for voting Harper off other than he didn't contribute to the challenge as far as we knew. But that doesn't change the fact that he's gone now. Now get up. It's challenge day and I can only guess what Chris has in store for us."

Ayame sighed and stood up. "Fine." She agreed reluctantly. "Just let me get dressed. I'll meet you and the others in the mess hall in five minutes."

"All right." Kyra agreed.

Kyra exited the cabin, finding TJ waiting for her at the bottom of the steps. He smiled when he saw her and gave a brief wave. Kyra smiled back. They walked together as they made their way to the mess hall. "So, is Ayame doing any better?" TJ asked.

"I think so." Kyra said. "She's still a little depressed, but she's at least leaving the cabin for the challenge today. I'd say that's good sign."

"Let's hope so." TJ said. "We're two people behind, so we can't afford to lose this challenge. And Ayame's one of our strongest players, so we need her at her best."

"Well, unless today's challenge involves fighting your own teammates to the death I doubt she'll be at her best." Kyra admitted. "She's definitely in the mood for a little revenge."

Other than Ayame, Kyra and TJ were the last to arrive at the mess hall. They quickly grabbed their breakfast, something that looked like biscuits and gravy, and sat next to each other at their teams table. Jason and Sakura sat across from them, discussing what they thought the days challenge would be while Lena sat next to Kyra, looking over at Chris, who was looking over some papers, with an obsessed gaze. Over at the other table Tak and Nicholas were arm wrestling with Payton, Penny, Ashlynn, Dylan, and Allister all standing around them cheering on who they thought would win. Russell sat at the other end of the table, listen to his MP3 player as he brushed Mr. Muggles's fur. Allister's tarantula, Jeremy, say on his shoulder. Chef was busy in the kitchen and Steve the camera guy was busy setting up his equipment. A few minutes after Kyra and TJ arrived, all went silent as Ayame stepped through the door, giving everyone that looked at her an irritated glare. She didn't bother getting food. She just got a cup of coffee and sat down at the Eagle teams table across from Lena.

It couldn't have been sixty seconds later that Steve told Chris everything was ready and Chris, fixing his hair one last time, got everyone's attention. "All right, everybody, let's get this party started. Everyone head to the amphitheater. I'll explain what we're doing on the way." Everyone got up and followed Chris out the door, Steve walking backwards in front of them, keeping his camera steadily on Chris the hold time. "So, I'm guessing all of you have played Truth or Dare once or twice, am I wrong?" Most of the campers blushed, embarrassed as them reminisced those embarrassments. Only TJ and Ashlynn chuckled at the memories. "Well, today we'll be playing a variation of the game. I give you…"

They arrived at the amphitheater to find it had been set up to look something like a game show from the seventies or eighties. There was a podium set up in the center, obviously for Chris. On either side of the podium there were a set of desks, six painted black for the Shrieking Eagles on one side and eight painted gold for the Raging Moose on the other. As Chris took his place behind the podium and the teams took their seats, he snapped his fingers. The curtains behind his pulled apart, revealing a banner hanging from the rafters with the title of the challenge printed on it. "Truth… or… Doom!" Chris announced. "Here's how it's going to work. In each round, both teams will nominate someone to take the challenge. The two nominees will then agree on taking a physical challenge or answering an embarrassing question. Failure to complete the challenge or answer the question truthfully will result in the loser being sent to… the Pit of Despair!" Chef then stepped onto the stage dressed as a medieval executioner, with everything from the black hood to the battle axe. "Executioner Hatchet will escort the losers to the Pit of Despair where they will be subject to unspeakable horror. Once one entire team is inside the pit the game is over."

"What kind of unspeakable horror are we talking about?" Penny asked.

"Let's just say that death would be sweet relief." Chris chuckled.

"Could it be considered attempted murder in any degree?" Nicholas questioned.

"Surprisingly, no. Now, let's get started!"

On Chris's order, the two teams huddled together to figure out who they would send up first. They had no way of predicting the difficulty of the challenges, figuring that Chris would pick them at random. Both teams only knew that they had to save their best players for last. But knowing how unpredictable Chris was, sending out someone expendable right away might not be such a good idea either. In the end, Jason and Ashlynn were the first pair to be sent up.

"Okay, Jason and Ashlynn, choose." Chris said with an evil grin. "Truth or dare?"

They didn't even need to discuss it. "Dare." they said in unison.

"All right." Chris reached under his podium and dug around for a few seconds. He pulled a small paper out and read what was on it. "Oh! One of my favorites!" he grinned. "Take a punch… from a professional wrestler."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I thought Chris said physical challenges." Ashlynn complained. "Taking a punch from a pro wrestler? First it's mental torture because you know it's going to hurt, then if you go through with it it's physical torture. I just want to say I didn't cry."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Best day I've had on the island so far." Jason said. He now sported a black eye, a severely bruised cheek, a neck brace, an arm in a cast and sling, a white bandage wrapped around his head, and a trail of dried blood coming from his nose. He was also in a wheelchair.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

An enormous, muscular man stepped onto the stage, wearing black leather pants and a denim vest. He had long, dirty blond hair and a goatee of the same color and he easily stood six and a half feet tall. He cracked his knuckles and chuckled darkly as he eyed Jason and Ashlynn. "Meet Black Mamba." Chris said. "He'll be smashing your face in today."

Jason and Ashlynn both went wide eyed. "You've got to be kidding me." They both said.

"Nope. So who wants to go first?"

Surprisingly, there was no wait. No argument. Not even an awkward pause. Everyone gasped as soon as Jason stepped up to the plate. "I'll do it." He said without hesitation. "I'm from New York. I've seen worse."

"Are you crazy?" Sakura demanded.

"What part of _from New York _don't you get?" Jason questioned. He then turned to the professional wrestler before him, looked him square in the eye, and took a few steps forward. "All right, **Black Mamma's Boy, **give me your best shot." He pointed to his cheek. "Right here." The big man just growled and stretched his arm back, clenching his fist tightly. Then he swung his fist forward, hitting Jason right where he'd pointed to. Jason fell backwards onto his back. TJ, Kyra, and Sakura all ran over to help him to his feet, but they cringed when they say his face. His nose was bleeding, his cheek was severely bruised, and his neck was at a weird angle, but other than that he was okay.

"How many fingers do you see, dude?" TJ asked, holding three fingers up in front of Jason's face.

"Fairy dust and bacon." Jason mumbled deliriously.

"He'll be fine." Black Mamba said. "I didn't hit him that hard.

"Okay, good job, Jason. You can go back to your seat." Chris said.

"Finland!" Jason shouted as TJ and Sakura hauled him back to their team.

"All right, Ashlynn, your turn."

All eyes turned to the brown haired girl and Black Mamba cracked his knuckles. Ashlynn gulped. After seeing what he'd done to Jason, she wasn't so sure she could go through with it. "You wouldn't hit a girl, would you?" she asked, giggling nervously.

"You kiddin'?" Black Mamba asked. "I knocked three divas unconscious when they ganged up on me in the right last week."

"But I'm not a pro wrestler!"

"You agreed to anything this show can dish when you signed that contract, girly. Now just sit still and this'll be over real quick." Black Mamba said as he stretched his arm back. But as he swung forward, Ashlynn ducked under the attack. "Your funeral." The wrestler said as Ashlynn rose back to her feet… as Chef walked up behind her, still in his executioner's costume. He picked her up by the waste and put her over his shoulder as he stomped off towards the forest. They quickly disappeared into the thicket of trees, Ashlynn kicking and screaming to be let down the whole way. Ashlynn's shouting slowly died away until all was silent. Then there was one last bloodcurdling scream before the game continued.

"Okay… moving on!" Chris said as Black Mamba left the stage. "Who's next?"

"Should we be worried about that scream?" Penny asked.

"C'mon, c'mon! Next two victims." Chris insisted. Lena and Russell were sent up. "Okay, you know the drill. Truth or dare."

Again, there was no thought given to the decision, but this time it was more out of a combination of Russell being horrified of the last dare and Lena being in a Chris worshiping trance. "Truth." Russell said. Lena just mumbled something, Chris's name barely able to be heard.

"Okay." Chris dug under his podium again, pulling out another small piece of paper. "Oh! Good one. Have you even made a fool of yourself on camera for money?"

"What do you think we've been doing since we got on this island?" Russell demanded.

It hit Chris like a ton of bricks. "Wow… we did not think that one through… Anyway, you answered truthfully, and I'm guessing Lena is incapable of answering, so you're both safe. Next?" After a brief argument, Russell and Lena returned to the podium, their teammates making the go back up due to them not getting a fair challenge. They picked truth again. "Let's see… Ohoh! The parents at home are going to love this one! Have you ever experimented with drugs or alcohol?"

Immediately Lena snapped out of her trance. "Yeah, I've had a few glasses of wine in my day." She admitted.

Russell just rolled his eyes. "Nope."

Suddenly, a loud buzzer went off and Chef returned to the stage. "You shouldn't lie about this stuff, Russell." Chris said.

"How could you possibly know if I'm lying?" Russell Demanded.

"I'm glad you asked." Chris said. "See, we had some extra money in the budget, so we had the entire stage floor converted into a giant lie detector! Not to mention you have a seriously bad poker face, bro."

Russell cursed under his breath as Chef escorted him into the woods. A few moments later he could be heard screaming as loudly as Ashlynn had earlier and then there was dead silence again. Chris chuckled. "Take a hint from dear Russell… Don't lie! Next?" Kyra and Nicholas stepped up to the podium. "Okay then, truth or dare?" they chose dare.

From there things went… interestingly, for lack of a better term. Nicholas and Kyra were both placed inside of a glass box full of starving mosquitoes. Needless to say, they both ran out itching like crazy and Chef escorted them to the pit where they let out bloodcurdling screams and then went silent. Then Payton and Ayame went up. Since Ayame was in no mood for games they went with Truth and ended up telling whether or not they'd played strip poker. Both said no. Both went free. Then TJ and Allister ended up being dared to jump into a pool full of piranhas. Allister managed to escape without a scratch. TJ was also unharmed… mostly because he didn't do it and was then taken to the pit.

As it turned out the pit wasn't actually a pit. It was just an old, abandoned cabin deep within the woods. But the screams that they'd heard were all too real. For waiting inside the cabin, aside from the other four who had been eliminated, was the worst torture of the modern age… High School Musical on a big screen TV with surround sound. "Noooooooooooooooooo!" TJ shouted. "It's unbearable!"

"You got that right, kid." Chef agreed as he threw TJ inside the cabin and slammed the door behind him.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I was expecting something vomit inducing when Chris said unspeakable horror." TJ complained. "But High School Musical? He might as well have given us the death penalty!"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Just look away, dude. It can't hurt you if you look away." It was Nicholas. TJ then noticed that the other four that had been eliminated all had their backs turned to the screen.

"Don't you guys think you're taking this a little far?" Kyra asked. "It's not that bad of a movie."

"Blasphemy!" everyone else in the room shouted.

"So, what brings you here, TJ?" Ashlynn asked.

"I didn't feel like getting eaten by Piranhas."

~AMPHITHEATER~

"C'mon. It's a simple yes or no answer, Sakura." Chris said. "Have you ever been to a nude beach?"

Sakura sighed. "Fine. I'm not getting eliminated over this. My family and I went to Spain a few years ago. I didn't know it was that kind of beach. I took two steps in, saw what was going on, and turned right back around. Happy?"

"Not necessarily, but you're not lying. So you're safe." Chris said.

"Perv." Sakura growled.

She went back to her seat, sitting between Jason (who was still out of it after the first dare) and Ayame (who was still barely speaking). Lena went up next since Jason was still unable to and it had been longest since she'd gone up. Her opponent was Penny. As Chris asked them the dreaded question, Sakura's thoughts drifted off, deciding not to pay attention. Her thoughts drifted from subject to subject until she heard Jason speak. He'd done it a few times before, mumbling something that made no sense, but this time his words actually made a legible sentence. "Am I alive?" Jason groaned.

Sakura smiled. "Well, you're awake. And last I checked the two go hand in hand. Do you think you're okay?"

Jason glanced over to her with his eyes, unable to turn his head because of the neck brace he now wore. "Depends." He said. "Is your hair green and are there two of you?"

"No."

"Then no… So how're we doing?"

"We're down four to five." Sakura explained. She glanced back over to the stage to find Lena and Penny doing some crazy stunt that she could only explain as riding a unicycle while juggling explosives. "And from the looks of things, you're next."

"Have you seen my condition?" Jason questioned, trying to raise the brow above his black eye. This resulted in his cringing in pain.

"Do I look like I care?" Sakura said, smiling mischievously.

Lena returned soon after that, her face covered in black soot. Jason, not feeling like arguing with Sakura, groaned and went up to the podium. "I'll get you for this, you pink haired witch." He said as Dylan joined him. When Chris asked them to choose, Jason was unfortunately still a little messed up from his last challenge, so he went with dare again, to everyone's surprise. Dylan just smirked, thinking he's just gotten the upper hand. But it was actually a good idea on Jason's part, since he wasn't in any condition to answer questions at the time. Chris dug under his podium again and quickly scanned the paper he pulled out with his eyes.

"Well, this should be interesting." He said. "Kiss someone that would normally repulse you… good luck with that." He chuckled as Dylan and Jason both went red in the face.

Everyone else's interest was peaked as Chris finished speaking and they turned their attention to Jason and Dylan. This **was **going to be interesting. Who would they choose, why would they choose that person, and the one that was on everybody's mind… did Chris mean one of them? Surprisingly, Dylan was the first to move. Without hesitation, he marched back over to his team's side of the stage, grabbed Payton by the shoulders, and pulled their lips together for a brief and unexpected kiss. As soon as it was over Dylan turned back to Chris. "Okay. I win." He said.

"What the hell, Dylan?" Payton shouted after the shock wore off. "I repulse you?"

"What?" Dylan questioned. "You're a girl and I'm gay. It's nothing personal."

Payton growled and slammed her fist on her desk. "Why you…"

"Son of a bitch."

Everyone turned to the one who'd spoken. Allister. He glared at Dylan briefly before getting up from his seat and walking off. "I'm out." He growled to Chris as he stepped off the stage. "And I don't want **him** following me."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I understand why Payton's mad." Dylan said to the camera in the old outhouse. "But Allister? I don't get it. He's admitted that how I feel about him is mutual and just needs some time and it was a **challenge** to kiss someone that **repulsed **me. I just don't understand what I did wrong."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Well… looks like Allister just fled the game." Chris said. "Still, you're safe Dylan. Or at least you are in the game. God only knows what Allister has in store for you later…. So, moving on. Jason, you're up."

"I'm in a neck brace." Jason pointed out. "I don't think it's a good idea for me to be putting my head against anything."

"So. You're forfeiting?" Chris questioned.

"Jason, I swear to god, if you loose this for us you are going home tonight!" he heard Sakura yell.

Jason, unable to move his neck, turned his entire body to glare at her and then turned back to Chris with a devious grin. "All right, I'll do it." With that Jason stomped over to his team's side of the stage and pulled Sakura into a kiss, which shocked her but everyone else just snickered knowingly. It was a bit more lingering than Dylan's kiss with Payton… but it also ended more dramatically… with Sakura punching Jason right in the eye. "What… the… hell?" she demanded.

Jason, holding his hand over his eye and rubbing the back of his neck, glared at her with his one unbruised eye. "What? We have been fighting practically since we got here."

Sakura glared at him with a low growl, but then a sly grin crossed her face. "I hate you." She said.

"Ditto." Jason said back. "So… uh…" then he collapsed, resulting in his head and arm slamming against Sakura's desk. A snap and a crunch could be heard.

"That can't be good." Chris said.

"Don't worry." Chef said as he walked up next to the TV host. "He signed an insurance form before the show started. He can't sue us."

"Dude! He's hurt! Get him to the infirmary!" Chris shouted.

"Oh, you're worried about **that** for once?" Chef chuckled before going over to Jason, cradling his unconscious body in his arms, and carrying him off to the medical tent. They waited for Chef to return and confirm that Jason would be okay before continuing the game.

The next few challenges went through without any problems. Dylan was eliminated for lying about ever kissing someone of the opposite gender, though the question was originally the same gender, Chris changed it for obvious reasons. Dylan actually eliminated himself on purpose, figuring that his team didn't want to see much of him at the moment. Next to take the fall were both Payton and Sakura who both refused to be used as targets for Chef's knife throwing practice. Then Lena was sent packing. The reason, Chris was getting annoyed by her constant staring at him so, instead of using the dare on the paper, he told her and Tak to stop looking at him, which she was unable to do. Then Penny was eliminated, not because she answered the question untruthfully, but because she refused to reveal whether she was a virgin or not. Because she didn't answer, she was eliminated. Ayame managed to make it through that challenge with a clear and truthful "No." Then it all came down to Ayame and Tak.

"All right, you two. This is it. This is for the win. Ayame, if you lose this it'll be your teams fourth lose in a row. Tak, it'll be your team's first loss in four challenges if you loose. Now you only have to answer one question… Truth or dare?"

"Whatever." Ayame grumbled.

Tak thought it over for a few seconds before picking dare. Chris dug under his podium again and when he saw the dare he'd picked, he grinned evilly and began chuckling. "Your dare is to… battle to the death!"

"What?" Tak and Ayame demanded, shocked.

"Kidding, kidding." Chris admitted. "The real dare is far worse… Watch the entire High School Musical trilogy!"

"I'm out." Tak said immediately.

"Well, that was quick." Chris said. "The Shrieking Eagles win!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"You seriously pissed me off today." Payton said to the camera before stuffing her vote in the box. "You could've at least have given me a warning."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Do I think I'm going home tonight?" Dylan said. "Nope. Only Payton and Allister are mad at me and that's two out of eight people. The others will be glad I stayed in the challenge as long as I could… right?"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"You shouldn't have lied man." Tak said to the camera as he put his vote in the box. "But that's not the only reason I'm voting for you."

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Let's see here…" Chris said with his signature grin as he eyed the plate of marshmallows on the podium before him. "Seven marshmallows and eight of you. So who doesn't get one?... Let's find you. One for Tak, one for Penny, one for Payton!" He tossed the fluffy white sugar balls to each of those called. "Nicholas, Russell, and Ashlynn, you're safe too."

Dylan glanced over to Allister who didn't return his gaze, instead staring blankly into the fire. "What's going on? Why is Allister here too?" Dylan questioned to his team mates.

"He gave up without being eliminated." Russell said bluntly.

"Come on, he was pissed off! Show some sympathy!" Dylan demanded. He then turned to Chris. "I don't care who got more votes. Give the last marshmallow to him. He doesn't deserve to be eliminated." As Dylan spoke, Allister looked over to him in shock and surprise. To his amazement his anger faded away almost instantly. Dylan didn't care about losing his chance at the prize… he just wanted to make sure that Allister wasn't eliminated for no reason.

Chris shrugged. "Fine. He was getting it anyway." He said as he tossed the marshmallow to Allister.

"Good." Dylan said. He stood up and stretched. "Well, it's been fun." He said as he started walking towards the Dock of Shame. But just before he was out of the fires light, he looked over his shoulder back to Allister. "I'm sorry, Allister. You too, Payton." With that, he left and boarded the Boat of Losers.

All of the other Moose left soon after, as did Chris, but Allister stayed behind at the bonfire for a while, watching as the Boat of Losers disappeared over the horizon. "I forgive you." He whispered quietly, a tear running down his cheek and falling to the ground.

~LATER~

"Why do I feel like I didn't deserve this?" Jason mumbled to himself. After all of the injuries he'd sustained during that day's challenge, Jason was stranded in a wheelchair with one arm in a sling and of course all of the injuries that he head had gotten. He was sitting on the Eagle Cabin porch, watching the lake water reflecting the moon and star light. It was calming, but still didn't do much to help with his still lingering, mild pain.

"Probably because you didn't." It was Sakura, just now exiting the girl's side of the cabin after making sure that Lena, Kyra, and Ayame were asleep.

"Well, look who it is." Jason chuckled. "Did you really have to punch me?"

"Excuse me for wanting to be convincing." Sakura said as she walked behind Jason and placed her hands on his shoulders. "I am sorry though."

"It's all right." Jason said. "It was me who thought it would be better if no one knew about us."

"Speaking of that…" Sakura moved to the side of Jason's wheel chair and knelt down, getting to eye level. "I… I'm tired of hiding it." She admitted. "I heard from Ashlynn that Dylan was sent home tonight. That makes two other couples that have been split apart now. I was thinking it might be nice to… you know, be open in front of the others about us… before one of us is sent home too."

Jason sighed and kept staring out to the lake, since he still couldn't turn his head. "I guess." He said. "I am getting tired of this pretend fighting we've been doing since we got together… when was that, again?"

"The day before the paintball challenge." Sakura reminded him. "Remember? We called a truce and then I grabbed your arm just before you left."

"Oh yeah." Jason said as it dawned on him. "A lot has happened since then."

"Yeah…" They were both silent for a while, just enjoying each others company as they both looked out to the lake for a pleasant moment. Then Sakura stood and stretched her arms. "Well, I'm going to bed." She said before bending over and kissing Jason on the cheek. "Good night."

"Mind wheeling me into the cabin?" Jason asked.

"Do it yourself." Sakura laughed as she closed the cabin door behind her.

"I only have one arm!" Jason shouted back.


	15. A Haunting in Canada Part 1

Episode 14: A Haunting in Canada Part 1

"Okay, let's see here…" Chris mumbled as he looked over the script for that mornings recap shoot. "Awkward questions, dangerous stunts, unbearable torture a.k.a. High School Musical… Okay, I think we're good! How's it going, Steve?" Steve just stood behind the camera, quietly trying not to burst out laughing. He just switched on the camera and gave Chris the thumbs up.

Chris, suspicious of why Steve was laughing, just shrugged and began. "Last time on…"

Chris stopped as he hears Chef burst of laughing from behind him. He looked over his should to find the big black man on his knees laughing hysterically. "Oh my god! Am I seein' what I think I'm seein'?"

"Shut up, shut up." Steve said, chuckling slightly. "C'mon, Chris, do the shot."

Starting to get annoyed, Chris rolled his eyes and started over. "Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… We had our campers play the classic game of truth or dare… with a little twist! Those who lost were subjected to an unspeakable horror! Something so terrifying that I'm surprised they all made it back alive… watching High School Musical! The thought alone makes me shutter. Anyway, we here at Total Drama Dynamite would like to apologize to Jason, who took some serious injuries during the challenge from a pro wrestler and from Sakura. But his day seemed to turn around later that night when he and Sakura agreed to take their relationship into the open… because **none** of us knew about it, wink, wink. Then, to make things more interest, Dylan, when dared to kiss someone who would normally revolt him, didn't even hesitate to kiss Payton! This caused Allister to storm off and, in his anger, vote Dylan off the island… something he came to regret very quickly. But one vote obviously wouldn't have done it… so who else voted for Dylan I wonder?

"Today, we're going to test our campers on two primal instincts… fear and survival. They'll have to face ghosts… monsters… and carnivorous beavers tonight on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" The annual explosions detonated and Steve shut off the camera before falling to his knees in a fit of laughter. "Okay, seriously, what is so funny?" Chris demanded.

"No, don't tell him!" Chef gasped between laughter.

"Sorry, I gotta. I'll die of laughter if I don't." Steve laughed. "Chris, c'mere man." Getting annoyed, Chris marched over to Steve who led him to the edge of the dock. They both looked down to their reflections in the water… and Chris screamed.

"I'm bald!" Chris McClain shouted as he saw his reflection, revolted by the lack of hair. "What happened to my hair?"

"Relax, dude." Steve reassured him, placing his hand on top of his head. "We just had the makeup girl put a bald cap on you last night." He clutched down slightly and pulled the fake skin off, letting Chris's hair fall back into place.

Chris just glared at them as Steve and Chef started laughing hysterically. "I… am going to kick… your… ass…" he growled

~LATER~

"I can't believe I'm completely healed after only three days!" Jason said as he and Sakura made their way down to the dock of shame, where Chris had told everyone to meet, right after lunch, for the beginning of that days challenge. In the three days since the last challenge, Jason had healed amazingly quickly (thanks to the magic of continuity errors) and he and Sakura had told the others about their relationship (which, to their surprise, no one was surprised about). On a darker note, Allister was still depressed about Dylan leaving the island. He hadn't spoken a word since that night's bonfire ceremony and he was only seen during meals. His teammates were starting to worry about him. Ayame was also still a little sad about Harper leaving, but she was returning to her old self.

"You're not completely healed." Sakura warned him, moving her grip from his hand to his forearm and squeezing. Jason winced and Sakura let got of his arm, returning her hand to his. "You may be able to use your arm now but it's still badly bruised, as is your face."

"Are you making fun of me or just talking about my black eye?" Jason asked as his arm throbbed in a dull pain. "And ease off the thunder grip, She-hulk"

"Quit your whining, ya big baby." Sakura said, playfully elbowing him in the ribs.

They were the last to make it to the dock of shame where Chris and the others were waiting for them. Most everyone was standing around having various conversations, but Allister was sitting on the edge of the dock, his legs dangling over the edge. Chris was looking over some papers while the camera crew got their equipment set up. When everything was ready to go, Chris handed his papers to a camera man and then turned to the campers. "All right, everybody. Ready for today's challenge?"

"No." everyone said in unison.

"Too bad." Chris grinned. "To the beach on my left there are four canoes and two rafts. On each raft is a tent and some supplies. There will be two people to each canoe. The rest of the team will have to follow on the raft. You're challenge… just spend the night on _Bony Island!_... Chef, cue spooky music."

Just then, Chef walked up next to Chris from seemingly nowhere holding an old boom box and hit the play button. The theme song to the twilight zone played for about ten seconds before Chef hit stop and walked off.

"Okay, so here's the deal. With your supplies is a map with a camp sight marked on it. You'll have to catch your own food, though. You're goal is to find your camp sight, survi-I mean sleep through the night there, and be the first team to make it back to the main island tomorrow morning. Quick warning though, if you make it back before seven a.m., you automatically lose. Any questions? No? Good. Now get going!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Spend the night on Bony Island, huh?" asked Ashlynn. "Isn't that the island with the cursed Tiki dolls, carnivorous beavers, and a cliff that looks like a skull?... This should be a fun evening." She grinned mischievously and snickered as she turned off the camera.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

It didn't take long for everyone to set off for the other island, Jason, Sakura, TJ, Kyra, Tak, Payton, Nicholas and Penny taking the canoes while Ayame, Lena, Russell, Ashlynn and Allister took the rafts.

Payton looked over her shoulder to her teams raft behind her canoe. As she expected, Ashlynn and Allister were doing all of the rowing while Russell just sat there messing with his rodent of a dog. She noted the sad look on Allister's face and the half hearted way he was rowing. "Guys." She said, catching the attention of Tak as well as Nicholas and Penny, who were in the canoe next to them. "I'm really starting to worry about Allister."

"Ah, don't worry." Tak reassured her. "He'll bounce back, just like Ayame did."

"I'm not sure." Payton said. "You remember how he was at first, before he and Dylan became close? He was so lonely and antisocial. Dylan really seemed to change that… but now that he's gone Allister is changing back."

"And what are we supposed to do about it?" Nicholas asked.

"Yeah." Penny agreed. "We understand that he's really emotional, but we can't do anything to really change how he feels other than try to comfort him. It's like Tak said, we just need to give him a little time."

Payton looked back to Allister over her shoulder. "I hope you're right."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I think Payton's being a little too sympathetic." Tak admitted to the camera. "I mean, come on. Sure Allister's a little emotional now, but he'll get over it. Dylan was bound to be voted off eventually, just like he more than likely will be… still, can't help but think; what if Payton's right?"

~BONY ISLAND~

Ayame and Lena were the last to arrive on the island, having been behind their teammates canoes who had been behind the Moose team to begin with. Everyone was just standing around on the beach, looking around at the eerie forest just beyond the sand, the ground covered with a thin fog. The skull shaped cliff wasn't in sight. Kyra and Payton began looking over their maps as the others began hauling the tents and supplies off of the rafts. As if turned out the two camp sights were on opposite sides of the island, both about a half kilometer hike from where they were. One member from each team said bye to the other team and they headed out… unaware of the horrors that awaited them.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"They think they're in for an innocent little camping trip." Chris laughed to the camera. "Little do they know that the producers and I cooked up a few surprises that should liven up an otherwise dull evening."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Okay, people, here's the plan." Sakura announced as she and the rest of the Shrieking Eagles arrived at their campsite. It sat in a small clearing in the woods, with a path through the tall grass (probably made by local animals) leading to a nearby beach. "Jason, TJ, you guys set the tent up. Kyra, you and me are going to get the fire going. Ayame, Lena, there are some fishing rods and bait with the supplies. You can get us out food for the night."

"Who put you in charge?" Jason questioned.

Sakura looked over her shoulder to her boyfriend, beginning to glare but her expression quickly changing to innocence. She put on her most convincing cute face and walked over to him casually, pressing up against him and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Do you have a problem with me being in charge, Jason?" she asked. The next thing Jason knew, Sakura had one arm around his head and her other hands knuckles running forcefully over his scalp. "Well?" she demanded.

"He is so whipped." TJ whispered to Lena.

"You've got that right." Lena chuckled in agreement.

"I heard that, TJ!" Jason shouted. "And once I – ow – get out of this death grip you're going straight into the lake!"

"Why?" Sakura asked, knocking him on the head once before releasing him. "For saying what's plainly true?"

"No…" Jason growled, lowering his voice so only Sakura could hear. "I just don't need him to remind me. You do a good enough job."

Sakura just rolled her eyes and grabbed Jason's arm. "C'mere." She sighed as she pulled him close to her, giving him a quick kiss. "Now go help TJ with the tent."

"All right, all right." Jason agreed, pulling away from her to go help TJ.

Sakura sighed, thinking that maybe she should back off a little. She knew that Jason didn't mind that she was being a little dominant, but she was also starting to get the idea that he didn't like how she was being forceful with him in front of the others. "Man, I must really like him if I'm thinking like this." Sakura said quietly to herself, unaware that Ayame and Kyra were silently sneaking up behind her.

"Aw… is Big Bad Sakura showing her soft side?" Ayame asked sarcastically as she and Kyra one arm each around Sakura's shoulders, startling the pink haired girl. "I think the hair dye you use might be seeping into your brain."

"I see someone's feeling better." Sakura said.

"Don't change the subject." Kyra broke in. "This is about you, not her."

"What exactly is **this**?"

"Oh, just a couple of girls helping a girlfriend out." Kyra said with a suspicious grin. "Now shut up and come with us."

"Why do I have a feeling this isn't going to go well?" Sakura groaned.

~RAGING MOOSE CAMP, THAT NIGHT~

The Moose team's camp was nearly identical to the Eagles. Most of the team, except Allister, was sitting around the fire having conversations and waiting for the fish, which Penny and Nicholas had caught, to cook along with a rabbit that Mr. Muggles had managed to chase down and kill. Penny, being the vegetarian of the group, refused to eat any of the rabbit, but was glad that it was Mr. Muggles, a dog, who had caught it instead of one of her teammates. When asked why she was going to eat fish if she was a vegetarian, she explained that she was a vegetarian, not a vegan.

"So, has anyone noticed how easy this challenge has been so far?" Tak asked.

"Yeah." Penny agreed. "You'd think Chris would have something up his sleeve for a challenge like this."

"He's probably got machine gun turrets in the woods, just waiting to pick us off." Russell said nonchalantly as he stroked Mr. Muggles fur, the dog still licking rabbit blood off its lips. The others just gave him an annoyed glare. "What? He's done worse." There was another short pause followed by short agreements from the others.

At that point Ashlynn stood up and stretched her arms. "Be right back guys." She said as she started to walk away. "I have business to do in the woods."

"Message received." Nicholas said.

Nicholas watched as Ashlynn left, and as she disappeared into the trees his eyes fell on Allister who was lying on his side in the entrance of the tent, facing away from the fire. He wasn't sure, but Nicholas thought he heard a soft sobbing coming from that direction. "Hey, guys. I think Allister is crying." He announced to the others. All fell silent upon his words. Sure enough, Allister's soft crying could be heard beneath the soft rustling of trees in the breeze.

"And you guys said he would be fine." Payton growled as she got up and walked over to him, kneeling down next to him and placing her hand on his shoulder. "Allister… you okay?" she asked in concern.

Allister turned his head slightly to look at her. His eyes were red and watery. "Go away." He said, trying not to sound like he was crying.

Payton became frustrated, and she huffed as she shook his shoulder a little less gently this time. "C'mon, Allister. I know you're sad about Dylan leaving. I'm sorry for voting him off, all right?" despite her slight frustration, her words were still sincere and sounded so. Upon hearing her apology, Allister sat up and sighed, trying to calm himself and stop crying. He got up and he and Payton walked back over to the fire, sitting next to each other. He eyed the others carefully before speaking. Tak returning his suspicious gaze, Nicholas anticipating something unexpected and more than likely wrong, Penny simply waiting to hear what he had to say, Russell not caring as he fussed with his dog, and Payton waiting for him to tell his sappy story.

"I just want one thing." He finally said. "I just want to know who voted for him… Payton, you already apologized and I voted for him in anger… so who else?"

"Don't look at me." Russell said. "I voted for you, Allister."

"Thanks, that's very comforting." Allister chuckled.

Nicholas just shrugged. "Don't look at me, I didn't even vote." Nicholas explained. "I was too busy trying to get the images of that horror fest, High School Musical, out of my head. Needless to say, using a plunger to suck my eyes out didn't work… nor was it sanitary."

"I did vote for Dylan." Penny admitted. "I didn't agree with what he did to Payton anymore than she did."

All eyes then turned to Tak who was busy checking the food, making sure it wasn't over cooked. It was obvious he was trying to avoid the conversation. "Well?" Payton said.

"Yeah, I voted for him." Tak said as if it didn't matter.

"Why?" Allister questioned.

"I had my reasons."

Allister bared his teeth and growled. "That had better not mean what I think it means."

Tak looked up from the fire and glared right back at him, the light from the fire making his expression seem dark and eerie when in reality he was just stone faced. "So I'm a little homophobic. Big deal." Tak said. "That's not why I voted for him, all right? Like I said, I have my reasons, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't take this any further."

"That's not going to cut…" Payton started, but was interrupted by Allister,

"Okay." Allister agreed. "I think I understand. Thanks for at least admitting it."

"You're welcome." Tak said. "Now that that's over with, let's eat."

Tak reached out to grab the now thoroughly cooked food from the fire, but as he did he heard a rustling coming from the bushes behind him. Looking over his shoulder he found nothing there, so he shrugged off the eerie feeling and went back to the food. But as he turned back he saw what looked like a pair of glowing yellow eyes in the darkness of the woods behind Penny. He warned her not to move and then stood, grabbing a small log as an emergency weapon. "All right, who-or-whatever you are, get out of here!" he shouted. "We don't want any trouble!"

"Geeeettt oooofff myyyyy iiiiiisllllaaaaaannnd…" groaned the voice of the creature hidden in the trees. Startled, Tak yelped and jumped back. The others stood up and slowly started to back away, all starting to get freaked out. The voice was raspy and sounded like an elderly woman, but at the same time it didn't seem human. "Geeeettt oooofff myyyyy iiiiiisllllaaaaaannnd…" it rasped again.

"Sakura, if that's you or anyone from your team I swear I'm going to kill you." Penny warned, sounding terrified rather than threatening.

Something slowly reached out of the bushes. A hideous claw with only three digits, covered in long, wet, rancid smelling fur. It reached forward slowly as the yellow eyes in the forest faded away and then…

Ashlynn came out of the bushes after the claw laughing hysterically. The claw was actually her own hand covered in some kind of plant, which looked like fur due to the light of the fire. "Man, I got you guys good!" Ashlynn announced, still laughing. "You should've seen the looks on your faces."

"**YOU'RE GOING TO BE LUCKY TO HAVE A FACE AFTER WE'RE DONE WITH YOU!!!**" Russell shouted.

"Seriously, that wasn't cool!" Payton agreed.

Tak, Payton, Russell, Penny, Nicholas and Allister all started moving towards Ashlynn with rage in their eyes and nothing but revenge on their minds. Ashlynns laughing slowly died away as they came closer to her and a look of terror crossed her face… but it wasn't her teammates she was afraid of. "G-guys… t-t-turn around." She stuttered.

"We're not falling for it this time." Allister growled.

"I'm b-being serious." Ashlynn insisted. "T-turn around…"

Giving her one last glare, the rest of the Raging moose turned around to see whatever it was Ashlynn was going on about… and their jaws dropped when they saw it. It was a young woman in a raggedy old dress. Her hair was floating slightly as if she were under water and her eyes were completely blank… but the weirdest part was that she was completely white, slightly transparent, and her feet hovered a few inches above the ground. "Geeeettt oooofff myyyyy iiiiiisllllaaaaaannnd…" she moaned.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I know what you're thinking. _It's just a ghost. It can't be that scary._" Penny said to the camera. "And yeah, they're not that scary in the movies and stuff… but in real life they're terrifying. I've still got goose bumps!"

~SHRIEKING EAGLES CAMP~

Kyra, TJ, Ayame and Lena sat around the fire, casually conversing amongst each other. Occasionally one of them would glance over towards the lake and listen, possibly catching a little bit of what Sakura and Jason were talking about down at the beach. With Kyra and Ayame's help (or rather persistence), Sakura had convinced Jason to go down to the beach for a quiet evening together without their teammates. Thought Sakura was a little reluctant at first, she eventually agreed that it was a good idea, not for a romantic evening as Kyra and Ayame had intended, but instead so they could talk about what had been on her mind earlier.

"So that's the story about the time my brother and I got into a sword fight using actual swords instead of kendo sticks." Ayame said as she finished her story. "And I'm proud to say that the only injury a few hairs cut off. So who wants to tell the next story?"

"How about you, Kyra?" TJ suggested. "I've been meaning to ask why you're so afraid of guns anyway." Kyra tensed up and her eyes widened as she was reminded of that. "Never mind." TJ said, suddenly regretting asking. "How about I tell a story instead?"

"No… it's okay." Kyra insisted. "If you really want to know… but I'm going to warn you, it's a sad story."

TJ placed his hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to tell it if you don't want to."

Kyra smiled at him and placed her hand on his before turning back to the fire and beginning the story. "When I was seven years old my older brother and I were out camping, trying to get just one night away from those evil bastards that called themselves our parents. Anyway, we were in the tent, trying to get some sleep when I heard something outside. I woke my brother up and he went outside to investigate. The next thing I knew I was hearing the sounds of hitting and I saw the shadow of my brother fighting somebody. Being the idiot kid that I was, I crawled out of the tent, on the other side so that they didn't see me, and climbed into a tree… O watched the fight go on for a few minutes… then the man knocked my brother down and pulled a gun on him." She was starting to cry now, tears running down her cheeks as she tried not to sob.

"Please stop, Kyra." TJ insisted. "You're upsetting yourself."

"I watched that murderer shoot my brother five times… and for what? I know my brother was just trying to protect me… but what did that monster want? Nothing apparently! He just killed my brother and left! And the worst part was he was laughing!" Kyra hunched over and started sobbing, covering her face with her hands. TJ instinctively moved over to her and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his chest as she continued to cry.

"I don't feel like telling stories anymore." Lena said sadly.

"Yeah." Ayame agreed.

And that's when the heard the screams.

~SIXTY SECONDS EARLIER, THE BEACH~

"So wait, you're worried that I'm being to submissive?" Jason questioned.

"Or that I'm being to domineering." Sakura

Jason chuckled. "I don't believe this. Sakura, everything is fine. I don't mind that you boss me around in front of the others and if I ever feel like you need to back off I'll tell you. Understand?"

Sakura just smiled and leaned over, wrapping one arm around his shoulders. "Yeah." She agreed.

It was then that they noticed a few clumps of seaweed in the water. Not thinking much of it at first, they became suspicious when all of them seemed to be coming closer and then started rising out of the water. Soon enough six seaweed monsters were standing on the beach, standing eight feet tall and groaning constantly.

Jason and Sakura screamed and ran.


	16. A Haunting in Canada Part 2

Episode 15: A Haunting in Canada Part 2

Chris threw his head back in hysterical laughter as he sat in front of the confessional camera. "Man, their faces were priceless! I mean, seriously, we got them good! I know this kind of thing has been done, but the intricacy and cunning it took for something of this magnitude? Well, that was complete genius on my part."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Chris…" Tak.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"… is…" Jason.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"… so…" Ashlynn.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"… dead." Kyra.

~BONY ISLAND, THE NIGHT BEFORE~

The Raging Moose team stood paralyzed with terror as the ghost woman slowly floated closer to them. "Geeeettt oooofff myyyyy iiiiiisllllaaaaaannnd…" she moaned. The air grew colder as she came closer, cold enough that the campers could see their breath, suddenly, a thing layer of fog rolled in through the trees, covering the ground. One thing was for sure: **if** this ghost was fake, it was the most convincing ghost any of them had ever seen.

"Anyone else getting that _we're doomed_ vibe?" Tak asked.

"Okay, this is so fake." Penny said, trying to sound more convinced than she actually was. "This has to be fake. Ghosts aren't even real. There has to be a projector or something around here. It's just another one of Chris's tricks. Watch." She then marched right up to the ghost and began looking for a bright light, signaling where the projector would be. But when she didn't see one, she became even more confused. "Um… Oh! I get it now! It's just a big puppet made of clear plastic! You can totally see the strings!" she reached out and tried to push it, but her hand passed right through the woman's body. "Well… crap."

"Veeeeeeeeeerrrrryyyyyyy wwwwweeeeeelllllllllllllll…" the ghost moaned. "Iiiiiiiiiiifffff yyyyyooooooooooouuuuuuuu wwwwwwwooooooonnnnnnnnnt lllllleeeeeeaaaaaaavvvve… Iiiiiiiii'llllllllll mmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkke ssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrre yyyyyooooooooooouuuuuuuu nnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr lllllleeeeeeaaaaaaavvvve."

"Double crap." Penny grumbled before screaming and bolting away. "Run for it!"

The all ran for the forest as the ghost shrieked and flew after them. As a last effort to postpone the chase, Tak grabbed a burning log from the fire and tossed it at the ghost woman, but she didn't even stop coming at them and it passed right through her, the fire extinguishing as it passed through her. Tak cursed and turned to run, but noticed that Allister had tripped and stopped to help him up. A fatal mistake, for in the time it took to get Allister to his fee the ghost was already upon them. They both then felt a stinging pain in their necks and passed out.

~SHRIEKING EAGLES CAMP~

Jason and Sakura bolted from the beach and straight to the fire which the other Eagles were sitting around. "Guys, I suggest we run, now!" Jason said, sounding terrified. The look on his face and heavy breathing only added to that affect.

"What's going on guys?" Lena asked. "You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"Worse." Sakura said. "These things are solid."

At that moment Kyra, Lena, Ayame and TJ all saw what Jason and Sakura were so afraid of as several creatures came up from the beach. TJ jumped to his feet and shouted "Swamp Thing!" As the creatures slowly came closer too them, they backed away, getting closer to the woods where they suspected they could make a clean get away. Unfortunately, Ayame wasn't so easily scared.

"You've got to be kidding me." She said, laughing slightly. "This is obviously another one of Chris's stunts. Observe." Then she walked right up to one of them and grabbed a clump of seaweed from it. "They're just interns in costumes." Then she pulled… but instead of the costume pulling a little like she expected, she pulled out the clump of seaweed she was holding onto. Confused, she pressed her hand against its chest and pushed, only to watch her hand be pulled inside. "What the h…" but before she could even finish that sentence the seaweed monster began sucking her into its body so fast that by the time she screamed she wasn't even in view anymore.

"Oh hell." Kyra groaned.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Ayame shivered and hugged her chest as she glared at the confessional camera, her clothes and hair soaking wet. "Okay… th-that was s-s-so gross." She stuttered.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

As soon as they saw what happened to Ayame the rest of her team bolted into the woods, thinking it was too late to save her and, even if it wasn't, not willing to risk being captured by those creatures themselves. They ran for their lives, unaware that, of the six seaweed monsters that had emerged from the lake, only five were following them. The one that have taken Ayame was headed somewhere else…

~LOCATION UNKNOWN~

"Nice job guys." Chris complimented as two interns, one male and one female, walked into the room dragging Tak and Allister (both unconscious) behind them, followed by one of the seaweed monsters. "Three down, ten to go." They were in the control room, strategically hidden under ground and filled with security monitors, one for every camera on the island. "Now, if you would be so kind as to give our guests a proper greeting…"

The plants on the monsters chest parted, revealing two sliding metal doors. Someone could be heard pounding and shouting angrily on the inside. The doors slid out and Ayame, still wet from the seaweed and extremely angry, climbed out in mid rant with a scowl on her face. "—lucky I don't twist your nipples off and shove them down your throat."

A male intern climbed out after her. "Hey, it's my job, all right? I had to abduct you! It was part of the challenge, which you failed, by the way."

"And we're back to the nipple twisting!"

Meanwhile, the interns that had dragged Tak and Allister in were busy slapping them back to consciousness. They quickly stirred and groggily glanced around the room. "What happened?" Tak grumbled.

"Oh… we knocked you out with a blow dart tipped with a sedative which we shot into your necks… and you're lucky I'm a damn good shot too, or else I could've hit a major artery and you could've bled to death or worse…" explained the female intern.

"Ah…" Tak said. "I'm going to faint now." And he did, collapsing onto his back.

The intern turned to Allister. "You gunna faint too?"

"No, I'm good." Allister reassured him.

Tak then sat up again, rubbing the back of his head. "What happened?" Allister and the interns just laughed.

"So let me get this straight." Ayame said as she walked over to Chris and began glancing through the monitors before him. "The actual object of this challenge was to avoid being captured by these quote unquote monsters, rather than just staying the night on a supposedly cursed island… am I right or am I right?"

"That's basically the gist of it." Chris confirmed. "Wanna see what happens to the others?"

Ayame, Tak, and Allister just glared at him.

"We've got popcorn!" Chris pulled a bag of said popcorn from seemingly nowhere.

"Okay." Ayame.

"Yeah, I'm in." Tak.

"Let's do it." Allister.

The three campers pulled up a few chairs behind Chris and passed out popcorn as the three interns left, off to terrify and capture the remaining campers. It wasn't long before the others began running across the screens, chased by the so called monsters. "Bet you're wondering how we got them monsters working, huh?" Chris suggested. He ignored the "Not really" from Allister and continued with his explanation. "Well, Ayame, you saw first hadn't he robotics used in the seaweed monsters."

"Don't remind me." Ayame groaned, looking as if she were going to get sick. "I can still feel that slimy wet sea weed on me…"

"As for the ghost," Chris continued, "Penny was right about the projector. But it wasn't in the bushes. It was attached to a small RC car, painted black so that, in the night, it's almost impossible to see."

"That's actually pretty smart." Allister admitted. At that point they saw the Moose team running across one of the screens. Payton tripped as the ghost came into view, but Nicholas helped her up and they kept running. Allister couldn't help but notice the concern on Tak's face when he saw how close they came to being captured. He smiled and nodded.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Target acquired." Allister smirked. "Time to drop the bomb."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"So Tak…" Allister said. "Tell me, am I right or wrong? The reason you voted off Dylan is because you got jealous when he kissed Payton because you have a thing for her." Tak frozen and his eyes widened as Ayame leaned forward slightly to look over to him, obviously more interested in their conversation than what was happening on the screens. Chris, on the other hand, didn't seem to have heard a word. "Well?" Allister insisted.

Tak groaned and glared at him. "This information does not leave this room." He growled, thus confirming Allister's suspicions.

Allister smiled and leaned back in his chair. "No problem." He agreed.

"Are you kidding? I'm telling everyone on the island except Payton!" Ayame announced

"Why would you tell everyone except Payton?" Tak asked.

"Girl thing." Ayame explained.

Tak and Allister both glared at her with one eyebrow raised each, then glanced at each other. "Do it." Tak ordered. They both pulled on sunglasses and Allister pulled a short metallic stick from his pocket. He hit a button on the back of it and the stick flashed, leaving Ayame wide eyed and in a daze. They then removed their sunglasses. "You remember nothing from the previous conversation." Tak said.

Ayame snapped out of her trance. "Whoa… blacked out for a second there…" she then turned back to the monitors. "So what did I miss?" Tak and Allister bumped fists.

"Would you guys keep quiet?" Chris asked, a little annoyed. "This is the best part!"

~BONY ISLAND WOODS~

Russell, Ashlynn, Payton, Penny, and Nicholas slowly and quietly made their way through the woods. They'd lost the ghost somehow and were on their way back to where they'd beached the canoes. The ghost wanted them off the island and they were planning to give it exactly what it wanted… well, most of them. Payton was insisting that they go back and try to help Tak and Allister before they escape. The others were convinced that that would be a suicide mission. As far as they were concerned the best way to help Tak and Allister, if they were still alive, was to get off the island as quickly as possible and come back later with an exorcist.

"Some friends you guys are!" Payton growled.

"Friends? Who said we were friends? I'm just here to win the hundred grand." Russell said while petting the shaking dog in his arms.

"Who said I was talking about you?" Payton snapped. "But Ashlynn, Penny, and Nicholas… I expected more from you guys!"

"We can't help them if we're dead!" Penny said.

Payton bared her teeth, clenched her fists, and growled. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. They were more concerned about saving themselves than at least trying to save their friends! "Fine! You guys go ahead and save yourselves!" She shouted as she turned around and started back the way they came. "But I'm going to find them…"

The others hesitated, unsure of whether they should go with her (after which they might all end up dead), keep going without her (after which she would end up dead), or forcibly drag her with them (After which she would more than likely kill all of them). No matter what they did, someone was going to regret the decision. Finally Nicholas sighed. "You guys keep going… I'll make sure she stays out of trouble."

"You sure, Nick?" Penny asked.

Nicholas smirked. "Have I ever let you guys down before?"

"Okay! Now that that's settled let's get going!" Ashlynn insisted, grabbing Russell and Penny's arms and dragging them along behind her. "By Nick! Good Luck! Hope to see you soon! Hope you don't die!" Nicholas remained where he was until Ashlynn, Penny, and Russell disappeared into the trees and fog.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Well… someone's a little eager to get off that island." Nicholas said to the camera. "Hope that doesn't come back to bite you in the ass Ashlynn… hmm… Ashlynn's ass… kidding."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

After the others were gone Nicholas dashed after Payton, who had disappeared beyond the trees and fog as well. "Crap." He muttered. He couldn't see more than a few feet in front of himself, much less figure out where Payton had went. He wasn't even sure that he'd gone in the right direction. He must've stumbled around those woods for fifteen minutes before he heard her scream. "Payton!" He rushed in the direction that the screaming had come from. But when he heard her scream again, it seemed like he was heading in the wrong direction. He heard her scream and changed direction at least three more times before he finally found her. She was cornered in a small grove of trees to close together to move through. The thing keeping her there wasn't the ghost from before, but some sort of monster that looked like it was covered in seaweed.

Without thinking, Nicholas grabbed a nearby log, long and thick enough to cause some serious damage. He charged at the monster and smashed the log over its head, shattering the wood and causing a loud metallic clang to right out from the creature. It fell to the ground, making another metallic sound upon impact.

Breathing heavily from the excitement, Nicholas turned to Payton. "You okay, Payt…" Before he could finish her name Payton had flung her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. Nicholas was completely shocked by this and, as soon as she realized what she was doing, Payton was just as shocked as him. She pulled away and backed off.

"Th-that was just a thank you…" Payton stuttered. "… nothing more." She insisted. "Now let's go find Tak and Allister…"

Nicholas nodded as they began their search. "Well… that was certainly unexpe…" again, he was cut off as he felt a stinging pain in the side of his neck before blacking out. Payton heard him collapse behind her and swung around.

"What in the blue hell?" she muttered before she suffered the same fate. The two interns that had dragged off Tak and Allister emerged from the bushes, grabbed the unconscious teens by their ankles and headed for the control room.

"That little moment should certainly boost ratings." Commented the male intern.

"Could someone help me out?" called the intern inside the seaweed monster suit. "I hear people!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Little do those interns know how much ratings will boost from that." Chris said to the camera. "Because, here's the kicker, Tak, who recently admitted to having a crush on Payton, saw the whole thing! Ratings, thy name is love triangle."

~ELSEWHERE~

"Of all the places we could've hidden, we had to pick a swamp." Sakura complained. "The one place that would be less disgusting that being trapped inside one of those slimy monsters."

The five remaining Shrieking Eagles were wading through a waist deep swamp, which by now they were almost positive was crawling with leeches, snakes, and possible even worse animals. Little did they know that the animals were the last thing they had to worry about.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Cue the completely non-lethal and just to freak them out death traps." Chris said to the camera. "Damn legal garbage."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"I think I can feel leeches crawling on my legs right now." Kyra said, hugging her arms to her chest and shivering.

"Want me to carry you?" TJ offered. Kyra smiled and gratefully accepted his offer, climbing onto his back. She was relieved to find that she didn't have any parasites on her. Sakura couldn't help but smile at the sight and wonder why those two hadn't officially started dating yet. Then her thoughts turned to Jason.

"How come you haven't offered to carry me, Jason?" she questioned jokingly.

"Because I'm more scared of you than those monsters." Jason joked back. Then, to her surprise, he knelt down slightly. "Hop on." He said. Sakura was suddenly glad that it was dark and foggy out, because she found herself blushing as she made her way over to Jason. But just as she had made it close enough to jump on his back Jason yelped and fell into the water…

… he didn't resurface.

"Jason… Jason!" Sakura shouted as she frantically started searching through the mucky water. "Come on, Jason! This isn't funny! If this is a joke I swear I'm going to—whoa!" Sakura was suddenly pulled into the water as well.

"I suggest we get out of the water now." Lena said as she started to move as fast as she could towards the edge of the swamp and back to dry land. TJ and Kyra were right behind her. When they got back onto the land TJ and Lena dropped to their knees and Kyra fell off of TJ's back. They thought they had a few short seconds to relax, but they soon heard a rustling in the bushes. All three got to their feet, the two girls hiding behind TJ as they waited for whatever it was to emerge from the bushes…

… it was Penny, Ashlynn, and Russell. The others of their team and Russell's dog, Mr. Muggles, were nowhere to be found. "I told you it was them." Penny said.

"I don't care about them! I want Mr. Muggles back!" Russell shouted. "He ran off this way…"

"I think I see him." Ashlynn said.

"Where?" Russell demanded.

"On that island in the swamp about to be devoured by some creepy seaweed people."

The six campers turned their attention back to the swamp and, sure enough, they saw one of the seaweed monsters with the Pomeranian in a vice grip, slowly pushing the dog into its chest. Once Mr. Muggles was out of sight, Russell dropped to his knees and looked up to the sky. "Nnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" The others expected his "no" to be even longer, but it was cut short when he passed out and toppled over.

"Geeeettt oooofff myyyyy iiiiiisllllaaaaaannnd…"

The ghost was now blocking their escape path while the seaweed monster were slowly emerging from the waters of the swamp. They surrounded with monsters on one side, a ghost on another, and on both sides in between, unknown to them, were interns ready to knock them out with blow darts. "We're not getting out of this." TJ said… "Or at least not one of us."

"TJ, what are you doing?" Kyra questioned.

"Something I'm probably not going to live to regret." TJ chuckled. But then he grabbed Kyra's cheeks and pulled her into a quick kiss. "But I won't ever regret that." He said as he let her go and ran at the ghost. "Come and get me, bitch!" The ghost screamed as TJ ran through it, unknowingly crushing the RC car that the projector was on and making the ghost disappear. The intern in the bushes did manage to hit him with a dark, however.

"TJ!" Kyra shouted

"There's no time for that now. We have an exit!" Penny said as she grabbed Kyra's arm at the exact same moment as a seaweed monster grabbed her other arm. There was a brief struggle until Penny was hit in the neck with a dart, allowing the monster to pull Kyra inside of it.

It was down to Ashlynn and Lena. They'd managed to escape and were now racing through the woods on their way back to where the canoes were, unaware that they weren't actually being chased and that something was waiting for them at their destination. They arrived and found nothing there at first, but as they began pushing their chosen canoe into the lake a final seaweed monster emerged from the water, twice the size of the previous ones. They stood frozen with fear as it groaned and roared, reaching out to grab on of them. In her terror, Ashlynn instinctively pushed Lena in the way and then escaped on the canoe herself. "It's survival of the fittest!" she shouted back to her doomed companion as she made her way out into the water on the small boat.

Lena trembled at the monster pulled her closer to its chest. She expected it to engulf her like it had the others, but instead it turned around as its chest opened up, revealing Chris inside at the controls. "Don't worry. Paybacks coming. You'd better watch." He said with a sinister grin. He and Lena turned to watch as Ashlynn escaped on the canoe… but suddenly a gigantic clam shell rose from the water and closed up around her, just big enough to clamp around the canoe without causing damage. "Congratulations, Lena! You and the Shrieking Eagles have just won today's challenge!"

At that very moment Lena's fear vanished and was replaced by her usual obsessive drooling over Chris. "Oh, Chris.. you're so funny!"

"**FUNNY?**" they looked down to the ground to find everyone else that had previously been captured and a few interns standing at Chris's giant robots feet, most of them soaking wet. TJ, Russell, and Penny were still unconscious and it was Sakura who had shouted. "**YOU NEARLY GAVE US ALL HEART ATTACKS!**"

"Hey, you won." Chris said. "Be grateful."

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Well if it isn't the Raging Moose." Chris said as he stood behind his podium, munching on a bag of grapes. "Shame to see you again. Losers again I see."

"Just get on with it." Tak grumbled.

"All right, all right." Chris said. "So, we ran out of marshmallows because I was eating them while watching you guys piss yourselves in the challenge. So we're going to use grapes today instead. Let's see…" Chris grabbed three grapes from the bag and looked over the campers before him. "One for Tak… one for Payton… one for Nicholas." He tossed them the small fruit. Nicholas and Payton caught theirs, but Tak just let his bounce off his head into the fire. "Penny and Allister be safe too."

All attention then turned to the final two, Ashlynn and Russell…

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I honestly don't care about the alliance we have." Nicholas said. "I realize Ashlynn was terrified and fear makes people do stupid things, but she just ticked me off today. I would've voted for her even if we **didn't **have an alliance to keep Russell in."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I think it's time we got rid of Russell." Allister admitted. "He hasn't been much of a help lately. I think Mr. Muggles should be allowed to stay, however."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I don't care which of them goes." Tak grumbled. "I didn't vote for either of them."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"And the final mar-er… grape goes too… Russell." Chris announced. He tossed Russell the fruit, which he fed to his dog, as Ashlynn hung her head in shame and headed for the Dock of Shame.

Since the rest of them didn't have anything to roast over the fire that night, they all decided to follow Chris back to camp right away. Payton kept her pace slow that time until she and Allister were walking side by side. "Hey, Allister. You and Tak were captured at the same time. Do you know why he's been bummed since we got off Bony Island?"

Allister just sighed and looked her straight in the eye. "You shouldn't have kissed Nicholas." He said.

"Huh?" Payton questioned.

"Tak likes you."

Payton's jaw hung open for a second as she processed this information. "Oh crap." She muttered to herself. "You've really gotten yourself into it this time, Payton Summers."

"You have no idea." Allister said.

"What?"

"Tak's a jealous guy. That's why he voted off Dylan… my guess is he voted for Nicholas this time too."

Payton looked over to Tak who had his hands stuffed in his pockets and his head hung slightly. She sighed and mimicked his posture without knowing it. "I hate love triangles."

"On another note, aren't you wondering why this show can afford sophisticated robots while we have to sleep in those crappy cabins and eat Chef's food?" Allister pointed out.

* * *

(a/n) heres another interesting note. until about halfway through this chapter, the idea of a love triangle with Tak, Payton, and Nicholas had never crossed my mind. It just popped into my head after Tak and Allister wre captured and I went with it to add a little more drama.


	17. Dodge Bombs Part 1

Episode 16: Dodge Bombs Part 1

"All right, let's do this right today." Chris ordered as he and Steve the camera guy walked down the dock of shame for the morning recap shoot. "I want everything to go perfectly this time. No mistakes, no mishaps, no missing persons, and especially no shenanigans!"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Steve grumbled as he began setting up his equipment. "You want everything to be perfect today. Because nothing ever goes your way, Mr. Famous TV show host who gets millions of dollars thrown his way while the heart and soul of these shows, the crew, gets jack. Did you know that when I first got into show business I wanted to be a director? But instead I got stuck with camera duty and now I make a living out of it. But I digress, you're the one who's important here, not me, because the show couldn't happen without you, Mr. Host. The show could easily go on without the guy that know how to use the equipment that records the stuff that brings in the ratings which rakes in the money for you and just gives me the leftovers. Well fu—"

"Dude! Dude. Settle down." Chris interrupted. "C'mon. Let's get this done and then we'll talk." Steve sighed, nodded, and turned on the camera. "Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… the campers were charged with spending one night on _Bony Island_! They thought it would be easy; go to the island, stay the night, avoid carnivorous beavers, come back, first one back wins… Boy, were they wrong! In our highest rated episode yet, the campers nearly lost their minds as they ran from ghosts and monsters! That's right, I said ghosts and monsters! In an elaborate scheme to make the campers wet themselves we put interns in Robotic seaweed monsters and used holographic technology and a tiny R.C. car to make a ghost. While they ran for their lives, they were slowly picked off one by one and brought to me so they could watch their team mates meet the same fate. During the whole ordeal some pretty juicy stuff happened. After being captured, Tak admitted to Allister that he likes Payton, which is why he voted off Dylan in the previous challenge. Meanwhile, Nicholas managed to save Payton from being captured which earned him a thank you kiss… And that, earned him Tak's wrath. Wonder where this is going to lead? On another note, in what he thought would be his final moments, TJ finally planted one on Kyra… before being shot in the neck with a sedative dart. Burn!

"Today, we thought it would be a nice idea to give our campers a little break… then we thought it would be way more fun to see how close they would come to killing each other just to win! Find out what sadistic plan I've concocted this time today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" The annual explosions went off and Steve shut off the camera. "So Steve, what's on your mind?" Chris questioned.

Steve sighed as he unscrewed the camera from its tripod. "My wife's going to have a baby in about a month and we don't know how we're going to be able to afford it. She obviously can't work at the moment and I can't support a family on the chump change I'm making here."

Chris obviously didn't understand what he was going through, being single and not being a father (as far as he knew). He did, however, understand when a guy was down on his luck. "Look, man. How about we go get some coffee and then I see if I can get you a raise and a paid vacation."

Steve looked up from his work with shock in his eyes. "Seriously? Thanks, Chris."

"No problem." Chris said as he wrapped one are around Steve's shoulders and they headed back up the dock. "What are friends for? Plus you've saved my butt a thousand times. It's the least I can do."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Sucker!" Steve said, pointing at the camera with both hands. "I don't even have a wife! Just my smoking hot girlfriend." At that moment Steve's phone went off. He dug into his pocket and answered it. "Hello? Oh, hey baby. I was just talking about you… uh-huh… uh-huh… What do you mean pregnant?... Oh, your sister and her husband are pregnant. That's great!... Okay, see you later." He hung up before sighing and slouching over. "Dodged a bullet there."

~LATER~

"Ah, just look around. Love is in the air, don't you think?" Ayame asked as she, Penny, and Allister walked around camp. They'd been observing the multiple couples around the island. First there was Jason and Sakura, the once hate but now love-hate relationship. At the moment they were both sitting on the dock of shame playing their guitars and more than likely playfully arguing with each other. Leaning on the railing of the Eagle cabin porch were TJ and Kyra who had officially gotten together after the previous challenge. They'd been almost inseparable ever since. Ayame and Allister suddenly found themselves missing Harper and Dylan. In the mess hall Chris was busy reading over some papers while Lena sat at her teams table and stared at him obsessively. Russell was busy fussing over his dog, Mr. Muggles, brushing him and baby-talking to him while the dog just snoozed in his lap. And then there was Payton who was struggling with her mixed feelings for both Tak and Nicholas.

"Why does it seem like everybody left on the island has someone else except me?" Penny complained sarcastically. "Even if they're not on the island, you guys still have Harper and Dylan."

"Maybe you should hook up with Chef."Allister joked. "I'd pay two bucks to see that."

"Funny." Penny said, rolling her eyes. "How about you give that arachnid of yours a kiss. I'd pay two bucks to see that."

"Then pay up. Jeremy's been de-fanged."

Penny scowled. "Well, that certainly blew up in my face."

"Hey. Would any of you know where the camera crew's quarters are?"

Penny, Ayame, and Allister turned towards the voice to find someone they'd never seen before. It was a young man, probably a year or so older than them, if that. He had short dark brown hair and had a thin strip of facial hair running from under his lower lip to the tip of his chin, going right down the center. He wore a black tank top and camouflage cargo pants. "My uncle Steve just got me a job with the crew, and I have no idea where anything is around here."

Allister shook his head. "Sorry. We know just about as much as you do. Try asking Chris or Chef. They should know."

"Thanks." The boy said. "I'm Dan, by the way."

"Allister." He said as they shook hands. He then gestured towards each of the girls. "She's Ayame and that's Penny."

"I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes, I do have a boyfriend." Ayame chuckled.

Penny remained silent.

"Nice meeting you guys." Dan said as he started walking away. "Later. I've got a job to get to." They watched as Dan disappeared into the mess hall and before they could resume their conversation they heard Chef yelling.

"Do I look like a GPS to you? Go find it yourself!"

"I've gotta go too." Allister announced. "Jason, TJ, and Nicholas are going to put Mr. Muggles on the mess hall roof and I don't want to miss the look on Russell's face."

"That sounds like f-" Penny started, but Ayame cut her off.

"Okay. You go have fun. Penny and I have things to discuss." She said before grabbing Penny by the arm and dragging her away without another word from Allister. Allister just stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what was going on, before sighing and going to find Nicholas and the others.

"Why is it that the only thing I understand about women is why they find men attractive?" he asked himself.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Scratch that." Allister said to the camera. "I have no idea why women find men attractive. I have the same mind set as any guy, except that I like both genders."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"What the hell are you doing?" Penny demanded as Ayame released her arm after dragging her behind the Raging moose cabin. "At least take me to dinner and a movie before dragging me to a secluded spot."

"There it is." Ayame said with a grin.

"Excuse me?"

"You always have some sarcastic remark on the tip of your tongue… but you didn't say a word the whole time we were talking to Dan. Did something distract you?" she spoke the last sentence suggestively and cocked one eyebrow, causing Penny to blush, knowing exactly what she meant.

"W-what are you t-talking about?" she stuttered.

"You think Dan's cute, don't you?"

Penny's face flushed an even deeper shade of red. "What? No I don't!" she insisted. "What gave you a crazy idea like that? You're insane!" Ayame just cocked her eyebrow again and Penny sighed. "Is it that obvious?"

"Relax." Ayame reassured her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. "I read a lot of romance novels, so I'm like a hawk when it comes to spotting this kind of stuff. I doubt Allister even noticed… but yeah, it was pretty obvious."

Penny just rolled her eyes. "Okay, so I think he's kind of cute. Big deal. I'll get over it in a week, max, and I doubt this will affect my performance in challenges."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"How was I supposed to know how completely wrong that statement would be?" Penny questioned.

~ELSEWHERE~

"Wait for it… wait for it…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Jason, TJ, Nicholas, and Allister all started laughing uncontrollably as they witnessed the fruits of their labor, Russell flipping out when he found Mr. Muggles on the mess hall roof! "Oh my god! Don't worry Muggly-poo! I'll save you!" The Pomeranian just sat there, panting and wagging its tail. Being too panicked to think to go get a ladder, Russell did the first thing he could think of: he raised his arms and called for the dog. "C'mon, Muggly-poo! Come to Daddy!" The next thing he knew, there was a stream of warm liquid splattering over his head.

"Wow. Mr. Muggles has good aim." TJ chuckled.

"This is great." Nicholas said. "And the best part is, it's more than likely on camera!"

~MEANWHILE~

"Dude, check this out." Said a camera man to his companion. Their job for the day was to watch the monitors for stuff that should make it into the next episode. Boy did they ever hit the jackpot.

"Is the dog peeing on his head?"

"If not, it definitely looks like it."

They both knew what the other was thinking. "To Youtube!" they shouted in unison as they bumped fists, followed by simultaneous "rock on" hand signs.

~CAMP WAWANAKWA~

"So, what do we do for fun now?" Allister asked.

"Isn't today a challenge day?" Jason asked. "It should start pretty soon here, unless Chris has something insane planned again."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I'm not kidding when I say insane." Jason said to the camera. "When I signed up for this show I didn't expect to have a near-death experience every other day. Seriously, I thought I was going to die in that last challenge! And I can guarantee you I'll never go near another swamp for as long as I live."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"I honestly don't care what the challenge is." Nicholas said. "All I care about is winning it. Our team can't risk losing again, right Allister."

"Whatever you say." Allister agreed. "Honestly, it's a win, win situation for me. If I stay, I still have a shot at winning. If I go I get to see Dylan sooner. I'm fine with either outcome."

"You really like him, don't you? Why didn't you guys hook up before he was kicked off?… Kind of weird saying that to a guy about a guy." TJ said, that last comment earning him irritated looks from his friends. "What? I was just saying… it was kind of awkward… shutting up now."

Allister chuckled and shook his head. "You know, I kind of wish I did. I was just so mad at him that day… and all because he didn't want to loose a challenge something as stupid as a kiss. But it's all good. Me and Payton are fine with each other now, and as soon as I see Dylan I'll apologize and life will go on as usual."

"Please don't mention Payton right now." Nicholas insisted. "Every time I hear that name recently I get a head ache."

"Let me guess. You're having a hard time deciding whether or not you should go after her or if you should let Tak." Jason said. "Am I right or am I right?"

"Dude, I don't like her." Nicholas growled.

"You kissed her." Jason pointed out.

"She kissed me."

"It takes two to tango."

"I don't like her!"

"If that were true you would've pushed her away instead of the other way around. But that's not the case, now is it?... Care to try and over turn my logic, because I can tell you right now you won't succeed. It's nearly impossible."

Nicholas growled again. "Okay, so maybe I like her. But that doesn't matter because she hasn't said whether or not she likes me… or Tak for that matter!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Okay, so I like both of them." Payton admitted to the camera. "Now if only I could figure out which one I like more."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Suddenly there was an earsplitting screech. "Attention all campers!" Chris's voice rang out over the island from the loudspeakers atop the totem pole. "Please report to the mess hall immediately for lunch and to be briefed on your next challenge… Oh, and for the guys I suggest you be sporting a cup! You're going to need it for this challenge." He laughed before another screech and then the speakers went silent.

"Sounds like we're in for a fun challenge today." Nicholas said sarcastically.

"Should we take him seriously about the cup issue?" Allister questioned.

"It's Chris." TJ pointed out.

A few minutes later all of the remaining twelve campers were sitting at their teams table in the mess hall. Russell was the last to arrive, having taken a shower after getting Mr. Muggles off the roof. It was safe to say all of the guys had taken Chris's advice. They all sat around talking for a few minutes before Chef came out with lunch. From the looks of it, it was chicken soup. Plain, ordinary, nothing-wrong-with-it chicken soup. The idea of real food got them all suspicious immediately. They all hesitated to start eating, waiting for someone else to go so they could see what would happen. Chef just stood in the corner, stone faced as he waited for them to begin eating. Just as Chris walked into the room, with Dan following him with a camera(causing Penny to go red in the face), Lena started to drool as usual. Some of her saliva dripped off of her chin and landed in the soup.

There was a loud bang and the yellow liquid, noodles, and chicken chunks erupted from the bowl, splattering all over Lena's face and knocking her out of her trance. "Waiter, there's a grenade in my soup." She said before passing out and falling backwards onto the floor. Chris and Chef started laughing hysterically while the other campers just sat there in shock.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Exploding soup? Really?" Sakura said.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Russell sat in the outhouse laughing uncontrollably. "Did you see Lena's face?... It's gone now, but did you see her face?"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Tell me Dan didn't see me." Penny said nervously before shaking her head. "Pull it together. You'll get over this, just like you said… Crap, I'm talking to myself!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Tenth confessional of the episode! Yes!" TJ said.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Anyone else what to try the soup?" Chris asked with his evil grin. "We have nuclear bomb chili if you prefer. But seriously, can any of you guess what the challenge is?" There was no response. "Well, let me fill you in. In exactly one hour you are all going to meet at the dodge ball court and play a game of…" He pulled a bomb out from behind his back, a classing spherical bomb with a wick sticking out of it. "Dodge Bombs!"

"You mean Dodge ball." Tak corrected.

"Nope." Chris said before tossing the bomb directly at him. Tak managed to duck under it and it hit the wall behind him. But instead of exploding it simply broke apart and green paint splattered all over the wall. "You'll be dodging paint bombs, to be exact. Our lawyers said real bombs were a no-go… So, meet you all at the dodge ball court in one hour!"

~50 MINUTES LATER~

Penny and Payton were slowly making their way to the dodge ball court, both hoping to avoid certain people by going there early. They were discussing and comparing their personal problems. Where as Penny would welcome having to choose between two people if it meant not being to shy to eve talk to them, Payton would give anything to just have one person to deal with, even if it meant not having the courage to speak to them. "Too bad we can't just switch lives, huh?" Payton said.

"Sorry, I like being me too much." Penny said.

"I was being sarcastic, but okay."

They arrived at the court and opened the door in the transparent plastic wall. As they expected they were the first ones there, with the exception of the camera crew, which unfortunately included Dan. As soon as Penny saw him she went red in the face and ducked behind her friend. "Is that the guy?" Payton asked. Penny just nodded. "Relax. He looks to absorbed in his work to even notice us. And when he's done setting up that camera he'll probably just hang out with the rest of the crew until the challenge starts."

"Oh please. I want him to notice me." Penny growled.

"Then why do you keep hiding from him or get quiet whenever he gets too close?" Payton questioned.

"I can't help it!" Penny groaned as she and Payton sat down on the first row of bleachers. "I'm not like Sakura or Kyra. I can't balance a relationship and a competition at the same time. If I had a boyfriend and he were back home watching me on TV I'd be fine. But having one that's nearby while I'm trying to concentrate is too much. That's why I don't date people in the same classes as me."

"You have problems, you know that?" Payton chuckled.

"This coming from the girl who's afraid of small dogs." Penny retorted.

"Touché."

It wasn't long after that when the others started to arrive. Jason and Sakura walked in hand in hand, followed by TJ and Kyra in the same fashion. Lena, Ayame, and Allister arrived next, followed by Russell with Mr. Muggles on his leash. To Payton's surprise Tak and Nicholas arrived last, walking side by side and talking about something she couldn't hear. Finally Chris and Chef showed up, Chef wearing a referee's shirt and taking a seat on the side of the court. "All right campers." Chris said as the crew started hauling in buckets full of paint bombs. "It's time for WWP… World War Paint. Take your positions."

All six members of both teams walked onto the court, standing in parallel lines at the back of their respective sides. A camera man stood in each corner, getting the shots from different angles. Chris stood to the side while Chef walked into the center of the court. He glanced at both teams. "Let's get a few things straight." he shouted. "If you get hit, you're out. Don't bother denying it, because paint doesn't lie. Don't bother trying to catch them, because they explode on high speed contact. If your own bomb explodes in your hands, you're out. First team to win two out of three matches wins. Understood?"

"Understood!" All twelve shouted together.

"Raging Moose ready?"

"Ready!"

"Shrieking Eagles ready?"

"Ready!"

"**DODGE BOMBS!**" Chef shouted before bolting back to his seat.

Then all twelve campers reached behind them and grabbed a bomb from the nearest bucket… and threw them.


	18. Dodge Bombs Part 2

(a/n)

Robin: Holly space donuts, Batman! It's been over a month since this story was last updated.

Batman: Shut up, Robin. You're only popular because I am.

lol. but seriously. I am sorry this took so long. School and job hunting have had me really busy. still I hope you all enjoy the latest episode of Total Drama Dynamite. It's a little short, I know, but still good.

* * *

Episode 17: Dodge Bombs Part 2

All of their first tosses missed. Paint exploded everywhere, covering some of them, but because there wasn't direct contact it didn't count as an out.

"Well that failed epically." Chris said, disappointed. "Let's try that again. And this time, I want to paint splattered faces and welts, lots of welts."

"Can you believe this guy?" Jason said to Sakura. "What a sadistic freak."

"Just start throwing the bombs or I'll be the one leaving welts on you." Sakura growled.

Jason grinned. "Promise?" he chuckled.

Sakura playfully punched him in the arm before grabbing another bomb. "Bombs away!" she shouted.

"Really?" Jason questioned. "Did you just shout _bombs away_?"

"Shut up." Sakura growled.

"And… cue the montage music." Chris said.

And so the battle began, paint bombs flying through the air and liquid purple and gold splattering everywhere as Pearl Jam's "Supersonic" played in the background (added in post production, obviously). Soon enough everyone had paint on them somewhere, but it didn't count as an out if there wasn't direct contact with the bomb. Penny was the first to take a hit, distracted by Dan who just happened to be filming on her team's side of the court.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Penny sat in the confessional, still covered in gold paint. "This sucks." She groaned.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Chris and Chef couldn't stop laughing when Jason got beaned in the beans, courtesy of Allister, or when paint splattered on Kyra's upper lip, making her look like she has a mustache. This prompted Sakura to throw a bomb at Allister, hitting him in the same region, and TJ to toss on at Chris's feet, splattering gold pant all over his feet and pants. "Hey! Not cool! These pants were custom made!" Chris shouted. TJ just glared at him with an evil grin before tossing one at Payton, almost nailing her in the shoulder. At the same time, Lena and Nicholas were having an all out duel, focusing all of their time and ammo on each other, and amazingly never getting a successful hit. Tak, seeing that Lena was distracted by Nicholas, took this opportunity to take her out, chucking a bomb at her which splattered all over her shoulders and head.

"I got your back, man!" Tak shouted to Nicholas.

Payton couldn't believe what she was hearing. Yesterday Tak could barely stand being on the same team with Nicholas. Why were they acting like best friends now?

"Heads up, Payton!" Allister called from the sidelines.

Payton snapped from her thoughts to find a bomb flying right at her. She successfully ducked it before tossing a bomb back at her attacker, Ayame, who also managed to dodge the oncoming paint bomb. Payton went to reach for another bomb, but before she could grab one, one of her opponents bombs exploded against her back, causing her to fall forward. It was TJ who had thrown it, but he didn't have time to gloat as Russell took him out only seconds after.

"Looks like its' come down to a battle of the sexes." Chris said, looking into the camera. "Sakura, Ayame, and Kyra for the Eagles, and Tak, Russell, and Nicholas for the Moose. This should be interesting."

"It was interesting."

Chris looked over his shoulder, finding Sakura, Ayame, and Kyra standing proudly on the center of the field. Off to the side, Tak, Russell, and Nicholas were lying face down on the ground, covered in yellow paint "Well, that was quick. The Shrieking Eagles win round one!" All of the Shrieking Eagles started cheering. "Round two begins… now!" The Raging Moose raced onto the field, grabbed as many paint bombs as they could and started tossing them at Sakura, Ayame, and Kyra before Jason, TJ, and Lena could even get off the bleachers. The three girls were quickly covered from head to toe in purple paint, leaving Jason, TJ, and Lena to take on the Moose alone.

"This isn't going to end well." Jason grumbled.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Jason, now covered in purple paint, glared at the camera. "What do you know; I was right."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

TJ dived out of the way as Payton chucked a bomb at him. He quickly jumped back to his feet, grabbed a bomb and tossed it back at her. She was nearly hit, but Tak tackled her to the ground, saving her from being eliminated. They landed in an… awkward position, with him lying on top of her, face to face, between her legs. Paralyzed from embarrassment, they just waited there, both beat red in the face. The action around them froze as, one by one, the others noticed. Soon Chris, TJ, and Nicholas were whistling and shouting comments like, "Woooooooo!!!" and "Get a room, you two!"

It didn't take much longer for Tak to snap out of his trance and get back to his feet and then help Payton up as well. "Sorry." He said quietly to her.

"It's all right. It was an accident." Payton whispered back. "All right, people, show's over." She shouted to the rest of them before grabbing a couple of bombs and throwing them both at TJ. They both made direct hits, one in the face and one beans. "That's for causing this mess, jackass!"

"How are you people so accurate?" Jason demanded. "First me, now TJ! Come on! Not cool!"

"Hey, I got hit in the nuts too, man!" Allister said.

"But you're not on my team." Jason explained.

"Jason, less ranting, more dodging!" Lena growled as she pulled Jason away from an oncoming bomb. Now that the game was six to two, Jason and Lena spent most of their time dodging, not getting a chance to retaliate. The Moose knew they had to do something, because if this kept up they would completely run out of bombs. Then Penny got an idea.

"Lena, Chris is finally willing to admit his undying love for you!" Penny shouted.

Lena stopped immediately and looked over to Chris, her eyes the size of tractor tires, shining like diamonds, and a smile as wide as a school bus. Penny grinned in satisfaction and hurled a bomb at her, getting a direct hit.

"Good going, Penny." Dan complemented from behind his camera. Hearing his voice caused Penny to freeze up. The others, however, were completely mobile and were all glaring at Jason with evil grins and paint bombs in hand. Jason, knowing he was doomed, pulled a white bandana out from seemingly nowhere, tied it around his head so it was covering his eyes, stood up straight and saluted as he awaited the torture.

"Bombardment!" Russell shouted as the five Raging Moose all threw their bombs at Jason, successfully coating him in purple paint. He fell onto his back, nearly unconscious from the hits and more than likely now covered in massive welts.

"Oh! That's going to leave a mark." Chris said. "Remind me to watch that again in slow motion later… In a stunning comeback, the Raging Moose win round two!" All six of the Raging Moose started cheering, high-fiving, and doing victory dances. "We'll see who wins today's challenge in the tie breaking third round, right after a short commercial break."

~COMMERCIAL CAM~

Chef stood in front of a gray background. "Watch Total Drama Dynamite." He shouted, waving a spatula around.

~COMMERCIAL CAM~

Chris stood in front of a mountain, with his hands on a remote. "Watch…" he hit the button on the remote, causing the mountain to explode. When the dust cleared, the mountain has been reshaped into a collection of letters reading "Total Drama Dynamite."

~COMMERCIAL CAM~

Chuck Norris stood in front of a gray screen. "Watch Total Drama Dynamite." He said before punching the camera.

~COMMERCIAL CAM~

The President of the United States of America, Barrack Obama, sat at his desk in the oval office. "Watch Total Drama Dy—" he was cut off as the screen suddenly went fuzzy before switching to John McCain in front of a gray screen. "Don't listen to him! He's not experienced enough! Vote for me! Vote for me!"

"All right, Mr. McCain. Time for your medicine." Said a muscular man wearing scrubs as he walked into the screen and dragged John McCain away, revealing that he was in a restraint jacket.

~END COMMERCIALS~

"That was weird." Chris said, a little wide eyed after seeing the last commercial. "Anyway, back to the paint induced carnage!"

The twelve campers gathered on their sides of the field, all still covered in paint and Jason in so much paint from his bombardment that Sakura had to support him. "Shrieking Eagles ready?" Chef shouted. The Eagles nodded. "Raging Moose ready?" The Moose team nodded. "Dodge bombs!"

Tak was the first to hurl a bomb through the air, followed by a swift counter attack from Ayame. Neither of them were able to hit the other, but after Tak's bomb had hit the ground Jason came out of nowhere and flung a bomb at him, nailing him in the shoulder. Jason punched the air in victory as Tak took a seat on the bleachers, but as he celebrated he failed to notice Russell and Allister come close and pelt him with paint bombs from both sides. Sakura then went to avenge Jason, throwing bombs at both Allister and Russell. Allister was able to dodge, but Sakura managed to hit Russell right in the crotch. Surprisingly, he didn't fall over in pain.

"What the hell?" Sakura questioned.

"You guys aren't the only one's who think I'm a douche." Russell said. "I've been kicked and tagged there by so many people that I've practically built an immunity to the pain.

"That's… kind of sad." Jason said.

"As impressed, and disturbed, as I am Russell, you're still out." Chris insisted. "So, get off the field so the carnage can resume!"

"Carnage? Really?" Jason questioned from his place on the bleachers. "I'm starting to question your mental stability, man."

"You and the actors union both, Jason." Chris chuckled before turning his attention back to the field and scowling in disappointment. "Well what are you people waiting for? Kill each other already!"

The remaining contestants hesitated, but soon resumed the game. The Moose team focused most of their fire power on Sakura, Kyra, and Ayame, seeing them as the biggest threats. Sakura and Ayame were taken out quickly, but not without taking Nicholas with them. Next out was TJ and Payton. TJ managed to hit Payton in the shoulder right as she was throwing her own bomb. Hers wouldn't missed, but the impact from TJ's bomb shifted her just enough to hit him in the arm. Allister then nailed Kyra in the forehead before Lena threw a bomb right into his gut. He fell onto his back from the impact, but quickly got back to his feet and moved over to the bleachers, leaving Penny and Lena the last two on the field.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Okay, so I'm thinking I'm dead." Penny said do the camera. "I mean, Lena is feakin' deadly at this game and the most I'll be able to do is dodge with Dan distracting me. I was about ready to hold up a white flag and surrender, but Lena didn't give me enough time.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

As soon as Allister sat down Lena threw her first bomb. Penny managed to dodge it…

…But it hit Dan right in the face.

Dan yelled in pain, since the paint had gotten into his eyes, and did his best not to drop his camera. His uncle Steve helped him out of the court and to the lake to wash his eye out.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"The gods must've been watching me." Penny said contently before looking up. "Thanks for having my back Athena… or Artemis or whoever it was."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Thinking quickly Penny grabbed a bomb, aimed and threw it… straight at Chris! "NOOOO!!!" Wide eyed and panicking, Lena ran in front of Chris and blocked it. Paint splattered all over her, but she had successfully saved Chris… which her teammates weren't too thrilled about.

"Let me at her! I'll kill that bitch!" Sakura snarled as Jason and Ayame held her back.

"Easy, Sakura." Ayame said. "We'll get her."

"Yeah." Jason agreed. "At the bonfire tonight."

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Marshmallow time!" Chris said as he took his place behind his podium, setting a plate of marshmallows before him. "You guys know the rules. If you don't get a marshmallow you get a consolation prize of an all expenses paid trip to loser-ville! Now let's see. Sakura, Ayame, and Kyra, Marshmallows for you three!" Chris tossed the fluffy white sugar balls to the three girls. "TJ, you're also safe!" TJ grinned smugly as he caught his marshmallow before Kyra pulled him into a quick hug.

Jason sat up straight and crossed his arms. Lena was completely oblivious to her situation, as she was drooling over Chris at the moment. "Jason…" Chris said. "You gave up at the end of round two. That's not cool, man."

"It was six to one! What was I supposed to do? Go all Rambo on their asses and blow everything sky high?" Jason questioned.

"Yeah. That probably would've been a good idea." Chris said. "Moving on… Lena. You voluntarily took a hit to save me, thank you for that by the way, while you were the last on the field."

"Anything for you, Chris." Lena said dreamily, blushing.

"Yes, well… you're first and only allegiance is supposed to be to your team… which is why Jason is receiving a marshmallow tonight… And F.Y.I. every vote was against you."

"Yes!" Jason said as he caught his marshmallow before bumping fists with Sakura, Ayame, TJ, and Kyra.

Lena just shrugged as she stood up and walked towards the path that lead to the dock of shame, stopping next to Chris. "Whatever. I guess I deserved it." She said. "Oh, but before I leave…" She then grabbed Chris by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a forced kiss. Chris went wide eyed and pushed her away almost immediately.

"What the hell?" he demanded.

"Sorry. I just had to." Lena said, grinning. "My last chance, after all." She said before walking calmly down to the dock of shame.

Once Lena was out of sight, Chris turned to the camera. "Okay, if that makes it onto the final cut of this episode I'd just like to say that she forced me to do that. I did not consent! I mean, c'mon! She's under aged and I am not stupid."

"Don't worry, man." Steve said. "I'll edit that out before it even gets to the actually editing faze."

"Thanks, Steve. I owe you one." Chris said as he and Steve walked back down to camp, leaving the five remaining Eagles to roast their marshmallows.

"It may not make it into the episode…" Ayame said mischievously. "But won't he be surprised when he sees it on the internet!" she then pulled out her cell phone and showed everyone the video of Lena kissing Chris.

"Ayame, you are such a bitch!" Kyra said jokingly.

"Ain't I, though?"

~MOOSE CABIN, GIRLS SIDE~

"What a party." Payton said as she and Penny entered the girls side of the Raging Moose cabin. They'd just left the boys side where the team had thrown a party in celebration for their victory. At the beginning they had been chanting Penny's name since she was responsible for their winning. Then things died down to listening to music and drinking soda that they'd managed to lift from Chef's fridge. After a while everyone was beginning to get drowsy and Payton and Penny decided to return to their side of the cabin.

"Yeah. Let's hope we get another one after the next challenge." Penny said. The two girls quickly changed into their pajamas and crawled into bed, ready to rest after a hard days challenge and party.

"So, Penny…" Payton said once they were both settled into their beds. "Tell me, did Dan really distract you that much?"

"What do you mean?" Penny asked.

"Well, after Dan left you were on fire. Knowing Lena would jump in the way of the bomb to save Chris… that was ingenious."

Penny laughed. "Well, I guess."

Payton laughed too. "Distracted that much by some guy you barely know… must be really embarrassing."

"About as embarrassing as when Tak landed between your legs." Penny chuckled. Payton threw her pillow at the other girl from across the room. Penny tossed it back and Payton placed it back under her head. "Fine, I get it. I won't mention it again." Penny said.

"Thank you." Payton said. "So anyway, what happened to Dan? I haven't seen him since he got paint in his eye."

"Oh, he quit."

"What?"

Penny shrugged. "I don't know exactly what happened. I overheard Steve and Chris talking. Something about him suing the show. Chris was begging Steve to make him reconsider. Apparently Chris was in enough trouble after a video of Lena kissing him got onto the internet."

"How in the world did that happen?" Payton asked.

"I saw Ayame filming that little incident on her phone." Penny explained.

"Oh, that explains it." Payton said. Both girls laughed again.

"So Payton, what do you think the deal is with Tak and Nicholas?" Penny asked. "They hated each other this morning, now suddenly their best friends. Nicholas didn't even get mad when… you know."

"Hell if I know." Payton said. "For all I know they made some kind of agreement about me."

"Or they could be gay for each other." Penny laughed.

"Are you trying to make me miserable?"


	19. Rush Part 1

Episode 18: Ru$h Part 1

Chef yawned and took another sip of his coffee as he walked down the dock of shame for the morning recap shoot. Chris was off the island that day, trying to resolve the issue of a certain video of him and Lena kissing on the internet. Because of the age difference and Lena being under aged, the video had sparked a lot of controversy and now Chris was going crazy trying to end it without any legal action being taken.

This, of course, left Chef to host that day's episode and challenge… and boy did he have a good challenge in mind. He drained the last of his coffee and handed the mug off to an intern before passing Steve the camera guy. They bumped fists as Chef took his place in front of the camera. "Ready, Steve, my man?"

"Whenever you are." Steve replied.

"All right." Let's make this quick." Chef said. He looked out to the lake, seeing a thin line of light beginning on the horizon. "We attack at dawn."

Steve quickly turned his camera on and gave Chef the thumbs up. Chef nodded and cleared his throat. "Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… The whiny brats were put into a dodgeball-esque challenge, only they were throwing paint bombs instead of balls. Would've been better with actual bombs… but hey, that's my opinion. Anyway, at the same time two of the girls were having their own troubles… Patsy and Pamela or something like that. I don't know these kid's names. One's in a love triangle, the other had a crush, I couldn't care less, blah, blah, blah. On a more interesting note, there was a montage of pain in the challenge, including several nut-shots and an attempted bombing of Chris! The Shrieking Eagles ended up losing and sent the crazy girl home… but not before getting Chris in some serious trouble… Yeah, you've all seen it on Youtube.

"Today I've decided to teach the whiny brats a lesson. I've invited some of my military buddies over… and we're going hunting." He paused and chuckled with a crazy look in his eye. "So stick around for all of the corny emotions and action today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" The annual explosions went off and Steve shut off the camera.

"Nice work, man." Steve said. "Normally Chris does something hilariously stupid by now."

"Hilariously stupid ain't my thing." Chef said. "Now let's get ready for the challenge."

~LATER~

It was silent. The first lights of the dawn were hitting the horizon, making the sky radiate with orange and yellow. All of the campers were still sleeping soundly, unaware of the hell they were going to go through for the day's challenge. Chef stood silently outside of the mess hall, waiting for the right moment to deploy his troops. As soon as his watch read seven a.m. he grinned and knocked on the door. "Show time."

Five people stepped outside, four men and one woman, all dressed in military uniforms. "Bring me the whiny brats." Chef ordered.

"Yes sir!" all five said, saluting him.

Meanwhile, in the boy's side of the Moose cabin, Tak was stirring as the sunlight hit his face through the window. He stretched and yawned before sitting up, bumping his head on the bottom of the top bunk. "Ow!" he said as he rubbed his head. It was then that he noticed three figures approaching the cabin through the window. He didn't recognize any of them. One was a woman, the other two were too big to be Chris or Steve but their skin was too light to be Chef. Tak immediately knew something was up. "Guys, wake up. We've got company."

"Not now, man." Nicholas grumbled as he rolled over in his bed. "I'm at the Play Boy mansion and Miss November is totally digging me…"

"Miss November can wait, man." Tak said.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Tak sat in the confessional out house. "And three… two…"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

The door was kicked in by one of the two men, a clean shaven and bald headed man, and slammed into the wall, startling Nicholas, Russell, and Allister out of their sleeping states. Nicholas and Russell both fell out of their beds while Allister just bumped his head on the bottom of the top bunk like Tak had. The second of the two men, a Hispanic man with a scar on one cheek, grabbed Russell and Nicholas and carried them out of the room under his arms. The first grabbed Tak and Allister by the arms and forcefully lead them out. When outside, they saw the woman, who had short dark hear and was wearing sunglasses, carrying Penny and Payton under her arms. "Put my down you crazy bitch!" Penny demanded.

"Penny, I think it would be a good idea not to scream at the crazy people who are kidnapping us." Payton growled.

The campers were taken to the mess hall were the woman and the Hispanic man dropped Payton, Penny, Russell, and Nicholas into a pile. The bald man pushed Tak and Allister on top of them, seemingly just for the fun of it. Before they could get back to their feet, Chef stepped outside dressed in his drill sergeant getup. He glanced around quickly as if confused. "Where are the rest of them?" he asked.

"Do these belong to you?"

Everyone looked over to where Sakura, Kyra, and Ayame were now standing, Jason and TJ walking up behind them dragging the remaining two military men (one being a black guy about the same size as Chef, only with lighter skin, and the other being a white guy with short blond hair and a cross tattooed on his shoulder). "Or can we go ahead and kill them?" Sakura asked.

"How in the world?" Chef questioned, his jaw hanging open slightly.

"Some guy kicks open the door to a room where three girls, all trained in martial arts by the way, are minding their own business." Ayame explained. "Do the math."

Chef just shook his head in disappointment. "Anyway… now that you've all been given a taste of what's to come, go get changed and meet me in the mess hall so I can brief you on your challenge." The campers remained stationary, glaring at their host-for-the-day. "That's an order!" Chef shouted. The eleven campers reluctantly returned to their cabins, grumbling mean things that they would like to happen to Chef along the way.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Oh, I can think of some pretty nasty things I wish would happen to Chef right now." Russell grumbled to the camera. "Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to say any of them on television."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

The eleven remaining campers filed into the mess hall after changing into their day clothes and sat at their teams table. Chef's five military buddies (or lackeys, as the campers referred to them) stood against the wall silently at attention. They only had to wait a couple minutes for Chef to come out from the kitchen. He looked over the campers intently before grinning his mischievous grin.

"Where's Chris?" Kyra questioned.

"Out." Chef said. "Now, let's begin. Today my associates, hence forth known as hunters, over there will be hunting you… in a sense anyway. Your challenge: survive as long as possible without being captured, complete both missions, and be the first to reach the escape point. You will be given walkie-talkies which you will only use when I'm telling you what the mission is. You will also be given special devices which can be used once and only once to repel an approaching hunter. Do I make myself clear?" He got no response. "I said: Do I make myself clear?!"

"Yes sir…" the campers grumbled.

"Good." Chef said. "Now, there will also be a few differences between today's challenge and the previous ones. First: effective immediately, the teams are being disbanded. It is everyone for themselves from now on. If you have any complaints, get over them. Second: Today there will be no bonfire ceremony, but someone will still be going home. If no one completes the challenge, that person will be hand picked by me. And third: keep in mind that it's not necessarily a good thing to win today's challenge. Any questions?"

"Why isn't it a good thing to win today's challenge?" TJ asked.

"I said not **necessarily**." Chef corrected. "And if you really want to find out, then go ahead and win."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Where is he going with this?" TJ questioned.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I know I'm not the only one not liking the sound of this challenge." Allister stated.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I get Chef's game." Russell said to the camera smugly as he stroked Mr. Muggles fur. "Reverse psychology. He's trying to convince us not to participate, that way he gets to pick who goes home. Very devious and underhanded… I suddenly respect Chef."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Chef walked around the two tables and handed out the promised equipment, the walkie-talkies and the hunter repelling devices (which were just plastic TV remote looking things that made noises when the single button was pushed), both of which were contained in pockets in backpacks sporting the Total Drama Dynamite logo. "You got a ten minute head start." Chef said as he looked at his watch. "And… go!"

Fast as lightning all eleven campers jumped up from their seats and raced out the door. Most of them paired off and then scattered into the woods. Only Russell decided to go off by himself. "So, who wants to capture the first whiny brat?" Chef asked once they were all gone.

"Why do you keep calling them whiny brats?" the woman of the group questioned.

"Why do you think?"

~ELSEWHERE~

Jason and Sakura stopped somewhere deep in the woods, roughly five minutes into their head start. They'd both been running hard and were now leaning against a tree, catching their breath. "I think we're far enough." Jason said. "If we go too far we'll run out of island and we'll have nowhere to run."

"Yeah." Sakura agreed.

It was then that they heard both of their walkie-talkies crackling, followed by Chef's voice. "Attention everyone. Your head start is now half over. I will be releasing the first hunter in five minutes. For now, it's time to start your first mission. Somewhere deep in the woods I have hidden weapons that will freeze a hunter in place for exactly two minutes. Again, these can only be used once. There are only five, so less than half of you will be able to retrieve these, but those of you who do will have an advantage… And before any of you get any ideas, anyone who takes more than one will automatically be eliminated. And don't think I won't know. Remember, everything is on camera on this island. Over and out."

"All right. So we just have to fine where Chef hid those weapons." Sakura said. "Easy."

"Easy, but not necessarily quick." Jason said. We'd better get moving and find those things before they're gone."

"You read my mind." Sakura agreed as they started walking again. "One thing though, what happens if there's only one when, or if, we find them?"

Jason shrugged. "Guess I'll hold onto it. Use it to save you or myself when and if necessary."

Sakura stopped in her tracks. "Hold on. Why do you get to hold onto it?" Sakura demanded. "Why shouldn't I? Do you not trust me or something?"

"I never said that!" Jason said. "Of course I trust you! But now I'm thinking you don't trust me…" They just glared at each other, thinking the same thing. "Maybe we should split up."

"Yeah, maybe we should." Sakura agreed, turning around and walking away from him. Jason just nodded and did the same. They kept walking for a few seconds, but then quickly turned around and started back at each other. "You didn't mean we were breaking up, did you?" Sakura questioned.

"Of course not!" Jason said as he embraced her in a hug, followed by a deep kiss. "I just think it would be best if we worked by ourselves for this challenge."

"Sounds like a good idea." Sakura agreed.

"Cool. Meet you at the mess hall after the challenge?"

"It's a date."

~ELSEWHERE~

Russell watched as Sakura and Jason went their separate ways and cursed under his breath. His plan would've been much easier. If they'd stayed together. But no matter. It'll just take a little more time. "All right, Mr. Muggles. You know what to do." He whispered to the dog in his arms as he set him down, making sure his tags were off first.

The Pomeranian went running after Jason, cleverly hiding behind a tree when Jason turned around to see what was making noise behind him. Jason shrugged. "Must be a squirrel." He said before continuing. Mr. Muggles continued following him until right behind him. Then, in one jump, the dog knocked Jason's Hunter Repeller out of his backpack and caught it in his mouth without making a sound. He dashed back to his master who greeted him with a grin.

"Good boy, Mr. Muggles." Russell chuckled evilly before giving the dog some beef jerky that he'd stolen from Chef's kitchen. He then looked around to find Sakura, only to discover that she was already long gone. "Now I just have to get the others find a safe place to stash them until the games over."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Some call it cheating…" Russell said to the camera, grinning slyly. "I call it creativity."

~ELSEWHERE~

Ayame groaned and leaned against a tree in her frustration. "Figures." She grumbled. "I know we passed the stuff Chef was talking about before her told us the mission! Why can't I remember where I saw it?"

"I think you, along with everyone else, myself included, were more worried about getting as far away from the camp as possible at the moment, Ayame." Allister explained.

"You know what, bite me." Ayame growled.

"Shouldn't you be saving that honor for Harper?" Allister chuckled. Ayame punched him in the arm. Hard. "Ow!" he said, rubbing his arm. He then pulled up his sleeve to find that the upper part of his arm had a large purple bruise. "You just turned half my arm purple." He said

"Well, now you know what happens when you mess with a black belt." Ayame stated.

"Noted."

They continued to wander through the woods, Allister making sure to keep a safe distance from Ayame, until they were sure they were lost. By this time Allister could see the steam coming off of Ayame's head (not literally, but that's how angry she was).

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Yeah… I'm starting to think that teaming up with Ayame wasn't such a good idea." Allister admitted to the camera. "I mean, I know she has a temper, most people do. But she's getting a little too steamed over being lost in the woods. But hey, if this helps me do good in the challenge then I can put up with her attitude for a while."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Allister took a moment to think over the challenge so far. He knew it had been at least five minutes since the beginning of the challenge thanks to Chef's last message, but he wasn't sure how long it had been after that. "I think we need to get moving further into the forest." He suggested. "Don't want to be too close to camp when that hunter's let loose."

"Wait! Look!" Ayame pointed somewhere into the woods. Allister looked in that direction, finding that she was pointing at an old and decrepit cabin from when Wawanakwa was actually a camp. "I bet the extra weapons are in there!" Ayame said before dashing towards the building. Allister just shrugged and followed her. It was as good of a guess as any he'd had.

Inside the old cabin they found what they were looking for. Sitting on the frame of an old bed were five devices which looked like old video game controllers with only a single button. "Yes! I knew it!" Ayame cheered as she punched the air in victory before grabbing on of the devices.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"What is it with women and mood swings?" Allister questioned.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Looks like we're the first to get one of these." Allister said as he grabbed on of his own. "So, now that we're both well equipped, I say we get out of here and move as far away as possible. This'll probably be one of the places that the hunters patrol regularly."

"You know, you're cute when you talk smart like that." Ayame giggled.

Allister blushed. "Um… you know you have a boyfriend, right?"

Ayame just laughed some more. "So do you."

"That's not official." Allister stated.

"Whatever." Ayame said. "Just relax. I'm joking around. Now let's get moving before a hunter show up."

"My thoughts exactly." Allister agreed as the exited the cabin. "… considering I said them about five seconds ago!"

~ELSEWHERE~

"C'mon, TJ. We've got to get away from the camp. Do you want to be in that hunter's crosshairs first?"

"Kyra, relax. Chef hasn't even released any hunters yet."

Kyra glared at him as they made their way into the woods at TJ's pace, and TJ's pace was slowly. If Kyra were by herself she would've been on the other side of the island by now, but she wasn't about to leave TJ behind of course. Still, she knew that moving so slowly was a bad idea, and she was determined to get TJ to go faster.

"TJ, I'm telling you, we're going to be the first captured if we don't get moving!" Kyra insisted.

"Kyra, you've got to learn to pace yourself." TJ said.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Pace myself?" He's telling me to pace myself?" Kyra demanded to the camera. "God! It's like talking to a monkey!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

TJ sat in the confessional outhouse, happily eating a banana. As he finished, he tossed the peal aside. "There's my potassium for the day"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Okay, maybe not a monkey, but he is an idiot…" Kyra said firmly, crossing her arms. "Still, he's my idiot… I'm the only one who gets to call him that."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"TJ, pacing ourselves isn't going to help us here." Kyra explained.

"Wanna bet?" TJ asked with a smirk.

"As a matter of fact, I do!"

TJ's grin grew wider. "Okay then… whoever makes it farther in the challenge…"

"Let me guess, _has to do whatever the other wants for twenty-four hours._" Kyra said smugly.

TJ immediately grabbed her hand and shook it. "I was gonna say _owes the other five bucks_. But hey, if that's what you really want…"

"Funny." Kyra said, trying not to smile. "Five dollars it is then."

"Sorry, but the deal has been struck." TJ said firmly. "Slave for a day is the cost of losing… and remember, it was your idea."

"You devious little…" she tackled him to the ground and they started wrestling. This ended with Kyra lying on top of TJ, their lips locked together. Kyra pulled away quickly, stood up, and helped TJ to his feet. "I'll be seeing you from the winners circle." She said, kissing him on the cheek before running off.

TJ just continued walking at his leisurely pace. It wasn't long before he spotted an old cabin. Curious, he stepped inside, finding three of the five extra weapons from the first mission.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

TJ grinned smugly at the camera. "I win."

~ELSEWHERE~

"So, how are things going since that camera guy quit… what was his name? Don?"

Penny shrugged, not remembering his name either. "Things have been good." She said with a smirk. "Great, actually. I can honestly say that there's no doubt in my mind that I'll do awesome in this challenge."

"Wish I had your confidence." Payton sighed.

"How is everything going in Payton's live triangle?" Penny asked,.

"Huh… that kind of sounds like the title of a book."

"Stop avoiding the question."

Payton groaned. "Fine. I honestly have no idea what's going on… well, sort of. I know Tak likes me, and I like both him and Nicholas. I'm not exactly sure if Nicholas _likes_ me =, but I can tell he's at least interested. The weird thing is that both of them have been flirting with me since the last challenge, even right in front of each other! But they don't get mad at each other. It's like they're encouraging each other!"

"… That's interesting." Penny said, making sure to mentally note everything her friend was saying.

"More like a headache." Payton said.

"Maybe you need some one-on-one time with them." Penny suggested. "You know, get things out in the open. Find out how they feel about all this…"

"Confirm that Nicholas likes me before assuming that this is a love triangle." Payton added.

"Trust me, he likes you."

"How would you know?"

"Just trust me." Penny insisted. "Well, I'm gonna split. Feel like I'm using you as a shield. Later." She said before turning down a different path.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Am I the only one who found it odd that she suddenly decided to leave like that?" Payton asked the camera. Then she thought about it for a moment before smacking herself on the forehead. "You're being paranoid, Payton." She told herself.

~ELSEWHERE~

"Let's see… where are they?" Penny quietly asked herself as she walked down the path. "They should be around here somewhere…" It didn't take her much longer to find who she was looking for.

Tak and Nicholas stood under a nearby tree, silently waiting for Penny's arrival. "Wondered where you were." Tak said. "So what's the deal?"

"I suggested that she have some one-on-one time with the both of you. I think she likes the idea." Penny explained.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Nicholas agreed.

"Also, she still has doubts about your feelings for her, Nicholas. Maybe you should turn it up a notch."

Nicholas just grinned. "Can do!" he said.

"Not that much." Penny scolded him despite knowing he was only joking.

"So we'll both talk to her some time today." Tak said. "Might move things along a little."

"Yeah." Nicholas agreed. "Just remember our agreement."

"Yeah, yeah." Tak said. "It's her choice, but no matter who she chooses we're always gonna be buds. No hard feelings."

"That's right." Nicholas said.

"I still can't believe you guys are actually being civil about this." Penny admitted. "Most guys would be at each others throats in a situation like this."

"Luckily, we're both smart enough to realize that acting like that won't solve anything." Tak explained. "If anything, that would drive her away from both of us."

"I don't know." Penny chuckled. "I think it would be kind of flattering… not to mention hot if you two were actually fighting…" she trailed off as she started to day dream.

Tak and Nicholas just glanced at each other before grimacing at the thought of what Penny might be imagining. "Oh be still, my gag reflex." Nicholas said.

"What he said, only less gay sounding." Tak agreed.

Penny snapped out of her day dream. "Whatever. I've done my job. I'm gone."

And so Penny left and Tak and Nicholas went their separate ways as well… all three unaware that a certain Pomeranian had silently swiped their only line of defense against the hunters to come.

Russell patted Mr. Muggles on the head as the dog brought him Tak's Hunter Repeller. "Good boy. Four down, six to go." He looked down at the extra weapons in his hand, which he still had to find a place to stash. He also had one of the weapons from the mission, one of two that he'd found in an old cabin. He'd wanted to take the other one, but knew Chef would bust him for cheating if he did. "Guess I've got another collection to start, then." He said, grinning sinisterly.

Mr. Muggles barked in agreement.

~MESS HALL~

Chef glanced at his watch as he leaned against the wall, his hunters leaning against the wall opposite of him. Less than a minute before he could release one of them and the fun would begin. "Get ready." He warned them. All five stood at attention and awaited his orders. When the little hand on his watch struck the twelve, he grinned and brought the walkie-talkie to his lips. "Attention contestants. I am releasing the first hunter… now."

* * *

(a/n) I am pleased to say that I reached my goal of 4000 or more words this chapter. also, this chapters title is a reference to the Syfy channel show "Cha$e" (a reality game show), which this challenge is modeled off of.


	20. Rush Part 2

(a/n) Im going to warn you all now, I wrote this entire chapter in one afternoon (all four thousand words of it), so it might be a little lack-luster. however, unlike usual, I did go through and fix all the gramatical errors that spell check didn't find. I'm proud of how this chapter turned out, but I'll leave the ultimate judgement up to you readers.

* * *

Episode 19: Ru$h Part 2

Payton crept silently through the forest, looking over her shoulder every now and then to make sure she wasn't being followed. It had been a few minutes since the first hunter had been released and already Payton was starting to get paranoid, thinking that every crunching leaf she heard behind her was the hunter coming to get her. She knew she was worrying too much, but she couldn't help it. She'd never been hunted before.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Now I know how all those animals that people kill for sport feel." Payton said to the camera. "Constantly looking over your shoulder, the constant fear of being attacked, not knowing what is behind the next tree… it's terrifying."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

She came to a fork in the trail and stood there for a moment, trying to decide which way to go. Before she could decide, however, she heard something behind her, distinctly recognizing the sound of foot steps. Payton reached for her Hunter Repeller and whirled around only to have her hand smacked, her weapon flying to the ground. "Easy. Don't want you wasting that." Tak said as he let go of her hand.

"Tak! Don't scare me like that." Payton said, rubbing the hand Tak had smacked. "And was that really necessary?"

"I said I didn't want you wasting your only defense." Tak said.

Payton sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I guess I owe you for that one." She agreed. "Thanks… but never bitch slap something out of my hand again."

"Done."

"So, is there a reason you're following me?"

Tak shrugged. "Saw you walking around alone. Thought you might like some company."

Payton chuckled. "Right. And I suppose now is the part where you ask if you can buy me a drink."

"If only." Tak laughed. Payton laughed with him. Then they both realized what they'd just said and went silent, awkwardness filling the air. Tak looked over to Payton to try to read her feelings through the expression on her face, but all he could tell was that she was feeling the same way he was: awkward, stupid, and a little bit regrettable. The strange part was he liked this. To him, even the embracing moments felt right with Payton. Tak sighed, deciding to finally make a move. "So… should we talk, Payton?" he asked.

"Yeah…" Payton said. "Maybe."

There was another brief pause between the two of them before Payton spoke again. "I've been really confused lately." She said. "I like you, Tak. I really do… but I like Nicholas too. The way you two have been flirting with me over the last few days, well, let's just say you're both doing a good job. And I can tell you both know about each others feelings for me, and I can't thank you enough for not fighting over me, I don't want that kind of attention… but I am having a really hard time choosing."

Tak nodded and scratched the back of his head. He was about to respond when he heard they heard something running towards them. They found the hunter rushing down one of the paths on the forked trail, the white man with the shaved head. "Damn! Where's my weapon?" Payton shouted. She looked all over for it, but it wasn't there.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"And that makes five." Russell said to the camera, laughing afterwards as he scratched behind the ear of his dog who was sitting on his lap.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Tak jumped in front of Payton. "Run!" he shouted. Payton nodded and ran for it, disappearing into the woods. Tak reached for his own Hunter Repeller, but was shocked when he couldn't find it. "Crap! Where's mine?" By the time he'd made the decision to run it was too late. The Hunter had tackled him to the ground. While Tak was pinned to the ground, the Hunter pulled a walkie-talkie out of his pocket.

"I've got one." He said.

"Good. I'll be sending out another hunter now, along with some interns out to bring him in." Chef said back.

"How did you know it was a boy?" the Hunter asked.

"It's called a plot hole."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Typical." Tak said to the camera, rolling his eyes. "Black guy goes first… no, I'm kidding. It was just dumb luck."

~LATER~

Kyra rushed through the throng of trees as the Hunter chased after her, this one being the Hispanic man with a scar on his cheek. She wanted to see if she could outrun him before using her Hunter Repeller, and so far that little venture wasn't working out so well. Even if TJ wasn't right, she had definitely been wrong. All that running she'd done earlier had taken too much out of her. She was breathing heavily and she was practically drenched in sweat. She wouldn't be able to take much more of this and she knew it.

As if a gift from the gods, the Hunter suddenly tripped and she spotted an old cabin on a nearby hill. While the Hunter was getting back to his feet she ran into the cabin to find a place to hide. But, as luck would have it, this was where the weapons from the mission were, and there was still one left! She grabbed it just as the Hunter came in through the door behind her. Kyra swung around and hit the button, sounding off an alarm that meant the Hunter had no choice but to remain stationary for the next one hundred and twenty seconds. "Oh, too bad." Kyra said sarcastically.

"Yeah, for you." The Hunter chuckled.

The next thing she knew, Kyra found herself trapped in a full nelson, someone else having put their arms under hers and then locking his hands behind her head. "And that makes two." said the bald Hunter. "Call it in."

"Already on it." said the Hispanic Hunter as he pulled out his walkie-talkie. "Hey, we've got one at the old cabin."

"Good work, boys." Chef said on the other end. "Interns are coming to your location and I'm sending out another Hunter."

"All right."

"You said another." Kyra said, being hopeful that TJ had been captured already. "Who's been captured already?"

"Whatever the black guys name is, it was him?" asked the bald hunter.

Kyra groaned. "Great."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"So, now I've lost my bet to TJ, been made a fool of by having my argument blown apart, been embraced on national television by being one of the first captured in the challenge, and to top it all off I have to be TJ's… I don't want to say slave… let's got with personal servant for a full day. Could this day possibly get any worse?"

Kyra shifted her position slightly, and she suddenly heard a crack underneath her. The toilet seat of the confessional outhouse suddenly snapped in half and she fell part way into the tank where the sewage was stored, only her arms catching the sides saving her from falling in completely. She yelped, the experience obliterating what little nerve she had left. Then she realized something and grimaced and shivered. "I'm sitting on something… sticky…"

~LATER~

Allister and Ayame snuck through the trees silently, making their way towards the trail. Allister stuck his head out to check for Hunters before motioning for Ayame to follow him. They were doing exceptionally well so far. They hadn't come across a Hunter as of yet, the both still had their original weapons, and they'd both found the extra weapons from the mission which they also still had. Still, Ayame had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that their luck wouldn't last much longer. She knew there were at least two Hunters out and about already and she was just waiting for one to cross their path.

There was suddenly a crackling noise on their walkie-talkies. "Attention remaining contestants." Chef said. "Congratulations to those of you who have lasted this far and to Tak and Kyra, tough luck. Three Hunters have now been released. It is now time for me to reveal the second mission. Hidden in several places around the island are clues to the location of exit point. There are only three. Find one of these clues, figure it out, and be the first to reach the exit point in order to be the winner of the challenge and claim your prize… if you dare." He laughed sinisterly before the walkie-talkies crackled again and turned off.

"All right. We know what our objective is, so let's get going." Allister said.

"Not so fast."

Ayame and Allister froze as two hunters stepped out of the woods and onto the trail on both sides of them. Their hands immediately went to the weapons that could freeze them. The two Hunters slowly circled around them for a few seconds, being carefully not to get within range of the weapons. Finally they went on the offensive, charging at the two contestants from both sides. Allister and Ayame were barely able to aim their weapons and press the buttons in time, freezing both Hunters in their tracks. They sighed in satisfaction and started to walk away. But before they'd taken two steps a third hunter, the woman, jumped down from the trees, catching them off guard long enough to grabbed their shoulders, successfully capturing them. They both groaned.

"Get Chef on the horn." She called to her frozen companions. "We've got two more." One of them did as told and called Chef on the walkie-talkie, who acknowledged their accomplishment, sent out interns to escort the captures back to camp, and sent out the last two Hunters.

~ELSEWHERE~

Penny and Nicholas sat quietly behind a few trees at the edge of the camp, waiting for the last two Hunters to make their way into the forest. It wasn't long before the last two Hunters, the large black man and the tattooed blond guy, came out of the mess hall and headed into the forest, completely oblivious to their presence. They moved into the camp and began searching. They figured that Chef, being the military man that he was, would keep at least one of the clues close to himself… possibly on his person.

They first searched through the cabins. They found nothing of interest other than a few songs Jason and Sakura had wrote, a little black book in Russell's sock drawer which was locked shut, and a book lying on top of TJ's bag titled _The Bro Code_. (Penny had tried to scan through this, but Nicholas snatched it away from her, having read the Bro Code himself and knowing that one of the rules of the Bro Code was that no woman should know the Bro Code). They searched the communal washrooms and even the confessional cam, finding nothing.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"There's only one place left in camp that we haven't checked… the Mess Hall. Chef's base of operation." Nicholas said to the camera.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"What exactly is it about this _Bro Code_ that women aren't supposed to know?" Penny demanded.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

They silently snuck up the stairs of the Mess Hall stoop, crouching down by the walls on the outside of the door. Nicholas looked inside, finding Chef sitting at one of the tables, watching something on a portable television and holding a piece of paper in his other hand. Nicholas looked back to Penny and gave her the thumbs up. She nodded and they stood. They kicked open the doors, startling Chef, and stormed inside, grabbing the paper from Chef's hand and running back out before he'd even noticed who it was.

Chef just grinned as he recomposed himself. "Smart kids." He said.

Outside, at the edge of the woods, Penny and Nicholas sat behind a tree, breathing heavily from their run. "So… what's the paper say?" Penny questioned.

Nicholas lifted it to his face and read it aloud. "Bread. Eggs. Milk. Salmon. Butter… this is a grocery list!"

"Turn it over." Penny instructed.

Nicholas did as she said. "It says _laser_."

"Well that certainly doesn't belong on a grocery list." Penny said, standing up and taking the paper from her companion. "I think we've found the first clue!"

"But what the hell kind of a clue is _laser_?" Nicholas demanded.

"Maybe it only makes sense if we have all three." Penny suggested, folding up the paper and tossing it back to him. "Let's see if we can find them."

"That sounds like a plan." Nicholas agreed. "But first I think we'd better **RUN!!!**"

"What?"

Nicholas ran for it just as the blond Hunter with the cross tattoo came up behind Penny and grabbed her arm. Penny gasped and tried to pull away before realizing who it was. "That's one more for the collection." The Hunter said. "Half done. Just six to go."

"You've got to be kidding me." Penny demanded. "I only made it half way?"

"Considering that there's an odd number of you, you made it less than half way." The Hunter laughed.

"Not funny." Penny growled.

~ELSEWHERE~

Russell grunted as he tried pushing the massive rock, roughly the same size as he was but three times the weight. Not but a few minutes ago he'd been struck with a brilliant but amazingly simple idea for where to hid his stolen weapons. What better place to hide something than under a rock? It was so simple it was ingenious. The problem was that he needed a big enough rock and the only one he'd found so far was the one he was working with, which was so big he could barely move it.

He heard Mr. Muggles barking. He looked over to the little dog to find him sitting in front of a tree… the trunk of which split into several large branches a shoulder height, making a nice little place to hide something. Russell glanced between the tree and the rock for a few minutes before furrowing his brow. "On second thought, this idea is so simple that it's flat out stupid." He grumbled before walking over to the tree.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the first stolen Hunter Repeller, but as he went to place it in the tree he saw something that caught his interest. A small, folded up piece of paper. He grinned. "Jack pot." He said, shoving the weapon back into his pocket and grabbing the paper. He unfolded it quickly to find that the only thing written on it was an _O_. "What kind of clue is this?" he demanded.

Despite his disappointment in the clue, he kept it, stuffing it in his other pocket while he went back to storing the stolen weapons. "Good boy, Mr. Muggles." He said to the dog as his feet.

Mr. Muggles just yapped back at him.

~ELSEWHERE~

TJ sighed contently as he lounged on a tree branch. He still had both his weapons, he'd only had a couple close encounters with Hunters, he'd found one of the clues to the exit point (a piece of paper with _bot_ written on it), and, after hearing that Kyra had already been eliminated, he knew that he'd won his bet.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Slow and steady, baby. Slow and steady." TJ said to the camera.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

As TJ tried to figure out what his clue might mean, he noticed Sakura run under the tree he was resting in. He sat up and watched her, only a few seconds later finding that she was being chased by a Hunter, the large black man. He noticed some more movement a ways away and looked over to it, finding Jason from the female Hunter on another path. The paths they were running on crossed at one point and, from the looks of things, Sakura and Jason were going to run right into each other. TJ, feeling like he needed a good laugh, watched until exactly that happened. He laughed as they both fell to the ground, giving their Hunters the advantage they needed to capture them.

TJ then jumped down from his tree and took off down the trail away from the hunters. With the luck he'd had so far that day, there was no doubt in his mind that he could've walked away without being spotted, but he still ran to be safe.

It wasn't long before he came to another crossroads in the trails and, to his surprise, he found Russell, Nicholas, and Payton going down the other three paths in the same direction. They all stopped in the center where they met. "Don't suppose any of you have the other clues, do you?" Russell asked.

Nicholas and TJ pulled out their papers and the four of them huddled together to figure it out. "Okay, we've got three words." Nicholas explained. "Laser, bot, and o… what the hell is Chef smoking?"

"It's probably a riddle." Payton said, snatching up the papers from the three boys. "Let's put them in random orders and see what we get." They did so and came up with six different combinations, none of which made any sense: o laser bot, o bot laser, bot o laser, bot laser o, laser o bot, and laser bot o.

"This is stupid!" Russell shouted. "There aren't any lasers or robots on this island! And what is o supposed to mean?"

"He's right." Nicholas agreed. "Either these are fake or Chef is some kind of genius."

"Maybe not." TJ said. He took the three papers and arranged them into the third option they'd come up with. "Bot o laser." TJ said quickly. "What does that sound like?"

The other three thought about it for a while. Nicholas and Russell couldn't seem to get their heads around what TJ was saying, but Payton managed to figure it out. "Boat of Losers! The exit point is the Boat of Losers!"

"Bingo, sister!" TJ said, high-fiving her.

"There they are!"

The four remaining contestants broke from their huddle, finding all five Hunters coming at them from three different directions. Panicking, they ran for it, heading down the only safe path. The Hunters chased after them through the woods. The chase went on unchanged for what seemed like forever until they reached camp Wawanakwa where one of the Hunters managed to tackle Nicholas. The remaining three headed for the dock of shame as Chef and the already eliminated contestants watched from the Mess Hall porch. All three managed to step onto the Dock of Shame before anymore of them were eliminated, the female hunter managing to grab Payton's arm.

It was down to TJ and Russell, both running neck and neck towards the Boat of Losers, the Hunters (and Mr. Muggles) still in hot pursuit. No one could tell what the outcome would be and time seemed to slow as they came closer and closer to their destination. It almost seemed like they might tie at the end… but then Mr. Muggles bit onto the hem of TJ's pant leg, causing him to trip and fall into the lake.

Russell jumped onto the Boat of Losers. "Yes! I win!" he shouted.

All five hunters came to a halt at the edge of the dock and Chef joined them not much later. "Congratulations, soldier." Chef said, saluting Russell. "You've won the challenge… just remember what I said." He grinned as Russell stopped celebrating, his face going white. "It's not necessarily a good thing to win this challenge."

The next thing he knew the Boat of Losers started moving, accelerating fast enough for Russell to fall over. Chef tossed Mr. Muggles onto the boat. The dog landed on top of its master, panicked enough to start biting at Russell's ear. By the time he was back to his feet the dock was already to far away to jump back onto. He dropped to his knees and looked up to the sky. "**NOOOOOOO!!!**" he shouted with his arms raised into the air.

Back on the island, Kyra raced onto the dock and helped TJ out of the water. When TJ was safely on the dock they stood and hugged each other. "So, I guess this means I'm your slave for the next twenty-four hours." Kyra said.

TJ laughed. "Just give me five bucks and a kiss and we'll call it even." He said. Kyra happily obliged, pressing her lips against his.

"What just happened?" Tak asked as he and the other eliminated contestants rushed onto the dock, joining Chef, the Hunters, TJ, and Kyra.

"In war there is little difference between the winners and the losers. They've both taken casualties and made sacrifices… the difference is that the winners get to go home with a little something extra." He began laughing darkly.

Back on the boat, the driver tossed Russell a box wrapped in newspaper. Russell, lying in the fetal position while Mr. Muggles lay in front of him, timidly grabbed the box and unwrapped it. What was inside made him want to puke. "The High School Musical Trilogy on DVD?!" he shouted. He then got up, leaned over the side of the boat, and vomited… Mr. Muggles joining him.

~THAT NIGHT~

"To Russell's elimination by his own stupidity!" Tak said proudly, raising his can of soda for a toast. "May he be a douche bag to someone else from now on!"

"Here, here!" everyone else agreed, raising their drinks for the toast before they al simultaneously took a drink.

It had been a few hours since the end of the challenge. In those few hours the girls of the former Shrieking Eagles had moved into the former Raging Moose cabin and the boys of the former Raging Moose had moved into the former Shrieking Eagles cabin. From there the night had been one big party, celebrating the ten remaining contestants making it as far as they had. Jason and Sakura had their guitars and everyone was talking, even Chef, Steve the Camera Guy, the Hunters, and Chris (who had returned to the island almost immediately after the challenge) joined in on their little party.

At one point, after night had fallen, Payton and Penny were sitting at a table having a private conversation, the same as many of the others were doing. They were talking about something irrelevant to the island or anyone on it, but Penny suddenly stopped talking when she noticed something. "Hey, check it out." She said.

Payton looked over her shoulder, not seeing what her friend was talking about at first. Then she noticed Nicholas sitting at the other table, not speaking to anyone… just watching her intently with a small smile on his face. Payton was a bit disturbed by this and turned back to Penny. "Why is her staring at us?" she questioned.

Penny shrugged. "Go talk to him." She said.

"But…"

"Go talk to him." Penny repeated before getting up and walking away, going to hang out with Jason, Sakura, TJ, and Kyra.

Payton nervously took her friends advice and stood up, walking over to the other table to sit across from Nicholas. "Hey." She said.

"Hey." He replied.

"So… I was thinking… maybe we should talk." Payton suggested.

Nicholas shook his head. "Nothing to talk about." He said. "Tak and I made the decision to let you decide between us. Regardless of your choice we promised that we'd still be friends. Problem is… I'm a little impatient. I'm tired of waiting, so I made the decision for you… go with Tak."

"Nicholas…"

"Don't say a word." Nicholas said. "I'm being the bigger man here. Now… go kiss him in front of everybody or something." And with that, Nicholas got up and walked towards the door, leaving the Mess Hall. Payton sat just sat there for a few minutes, thinking over what he'd said. He was both write and wrong in what he said. He was being the bigger man in the sense that he was stepping down from the conflict to end her personal issues… but he was being a selfish brat in that he wasn't letting her chose for herself. But in the end, she decided she would've made the same decision. Nicholas would always be a friend, but her feelings for Tak were much deeper. She began to understand that her feelings for Nicholas were just a crush from after that kiss on Bony Island.

With that in mind she made a bold move. She got up from where she sat, walked over to Tak, grabbed him by the front of his shirt, and pulled him into a kiss.

In the boys cabin Nicholas smiled as he crawled into bed. He was happy with what he'd accomplished that day.


	21. Cuffed Part 1

(a/n) wow its been a while since Ive updated. sorry about that. Ive been... I dont want to say busy. slothful or lazy are more appropriate terms. *shrugs* anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

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Episode 20: Cuffed Part 1

"Damn Lena, making people think I'm a pedophile." Chris grumbled as he made his way down the Dock of Shame for the morning recap shoot. "Could've told the court the truth and said that she forced herself one me, but no! She had to go and say we're in love. Now they're monitoring my every move… and this thing freaking itches!" He stopped briefly and rubbed his left shoe on his right ankle, but to no avail. The itch was under the strap of the tracking ankle bracelet that he was ordered to wear for at least a week. Long story short, if he went anywhere near the girls cabin, TDD needed a new host.

"Hey, Chris. How's house arrest?" Steve the camera guy asked as Chris walked up to him.

"Not bad enough that I won't risk getting more time by punching you in the face." Chris said. "Now let's get this over with."

"You got it, ya sick freak." Steve chuckled. Chris glared at him. "I mean boss." He quickly turned on the camera and Chris managed to force his signature grin, despite his current emotional state.

"Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… Yours truly was off island taking care of some business, so it was left to good old Chef Hatchet to host the challenge that day. And let me tell you, Chef doesn't mess around. For the challenge, Chef set five of his old military buddies loose to hunt down and capture the campers who were spread throughout the island. But they weren't the only obstacle that the campers had to face! That's right! Resident jerk Russell caused some serious trouble, stealing the other camper's only line of defense against the hunters. At the same time, everyone else was a little too distracted to really concentrate on the challenge. Ayame made Allister begin to wonder how deep his feelings for Dylan actually were; TJ and Kyra, having different strategies on how to win the game, made a little bet to see who would last longer; and it turns out that Penny has been acting as an informant to Tak and Nicholas about Payton's feeling for the two of them! No wonder this show is called Total **Drama** Dynamite… In the end, it came down to TJ and Russell as the final two, both racing to the exit point which was the Boat of Losers. Russell ended up winning, and TJ ended up in the water. But in a cruel twist by Chef Hatchet, by winning the challenge, Russell had also eliminated himself, going home with the worst consolation prized ever! TJ, having won his bet with Kyra and having come farthest in the challenge, got all the glory. And later that night Nicholas decided to be the bigger man and backed down from his competition for Payton's feelings with Tak. This allowed Payton to show her affection for Tak with an awe inspiring kiss in front of everybody.

"Today, we've decided to take the road of the cruel twist once again. What am I talking about? You'll have to wait and see. So stick around for all of the action today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" the annual explosions went off, Steve shut down the camera, and Chris reverted to a scowling expression. "Good work, boss."

"Yeah, yeah." Chris grumbled, walking back down the dock. "If anyone needs me I'll be pressing my face against Chef's stove top to distract myself from this damn itch."

Steve turned his camera back on. "Wait for me!"

~LATER~

As sunlight broke over the horizon, the ten remaining campers filed into the Mess Hall for breakfast. Chef served up what he called grits but looked more like Lucky Charms without the marshmallows that had been boiled in water. Everyone sat around the same table, which they'd done every day since the last challenge. Chris was even considering removing the other table, but the campers doubted he would since that would cost money.

In the three days since the last challenge, Payton and Tak had become almost inseparable. They were almost always sitting close together, hugging, or holding hands, and yet they never seemed to get too mushy. After their first kiss the night of the previous challenge they'd had a long talk under the stars, sitting on the edge of the Dock of Shame. Payton had explained what Nicholas had done and, while he didn't understand why he'd done it, Tak was grateful for it. In just a few days they'd grown to care for each other deeply, beyond the mutual crush they'd had on each other before hand. Everyone on the island agreed that they seemed right for each other.

"They look cute, don't they?" Penny asked as she and Nicholas watched Tak and Payton laugh as they said something in unison.

"Yeah." Nicholas agreed.

"I kind of feel left out though." Penny admitted. "Now I'm the only girl left on the island that doesn't have a date for the after party." And idea suddenly crossed her mind and she glanced mischievously over to Nicholas.

"Oh no. Don't even think about it!" Nicholas said.

Penny half scoffed, half laughed. "As if! Like I'd ever consider going out with you!"

"Likewise." Nicholas agreed.

"Friends, then?" Penny questioned.

"Until fate deems otherwise."

They shook hands on it.

It was then that Chris entered the room from the kitchen. Strangely, his face was beat red. "Morning, campers!" he said happily, his eyes twitching every time a muscle in his face moved.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Yeah, he actually did it!" Steve the camera guy said as he sat in the confessional outhouse. "Check it out! I got the whole thing on camera!"

He held his cell phone up to the camera, showing a video of Chris pressing his face against Chef's stove top (albeit, for no more than half a second) and screaming like a little kid being robbed at gun point.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Dude, what's wrong with your face?" TJ asked.

"The same thing that's wrong with yours." Chris retorted. "Now, who's ready for today's challenge?" The campers made a few grumbles of indifferent opinions, so Chris proceeded with the announcement. "Well, today we're once again bringing back a fan favorite challenge." He pulled a briefcase out from behind his back and opened it, revealing five shiny, new pairs of handcuffs inside. "If all the boys would come up and retrieve a pair of these?" Jason, TJ, Tak, Nicholas, and Allister all did so. "Now, please choose one of the girls to be your partner for the day."

Jason smirked and walked over to Sakura. Sakura smiled back and held out her wrist, Jason happily wrapping the metal ring around it and then did the same to his own. "You have the right to remain silent." Jason said. "Anything you say can and will be misconstrued as sexual innuendo and used against you in whatever joke I feel appropriate."

"Oh, I can't wait." Sakura responded dryly.

"Well, if you insist." Jason then pulled Sakura into an embrace and grabbed onto her rear end with his free hand. Sakura responded by pushing him away, but since they were cuffed together, this resulted in him falling onto the floor and her falling on top of him. Everyone else laughed as they got back to their feet.

"You are so going to get it for this." Sakura said to Jason.

"I hope so." Jason laughed.

TJ and Tak then proceeded to cuff themselves to Kyra and Payton. Ayame and Allister then teamed up, leaving Nicholas and Penny.

"Okay, now that we have out teams, let me explain the challenge. You're all going to go through a series of challenges, each of which will require your full cooperation with your teammate. The good news is that no one is going home today… the bad news is, the winning team has to pick two previously eliminated contestants to return to the island for a second chance."

This caught Allister and Ayame's attention.

"Also, just as last time, you will be offered the wimp key before each challenge." Chris added, holding up a skeleton key with he produced from seemingly nowhere. "So, your first challenge is in one hour. Until then, feel free to provide us with footage of you antics while cuffed together worthy of a montage." With that, Chris returned to the kitchen. It was only a few seconds later that the campers heard a blood curdling scream, causing them to exit the Mess Hall hastily.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Steve filled me in on the details behind Chris's red face and that scream." Ayame said to the camera. "He even showed me the video… and I have to say, awesome!"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Ayame pulled Allister away from the group as everyone exited the Mess Hall, taking him to the bonfire site so that they could talk privately. "We need to win this challenge!" she said to him. Allister didn't know how to respond and remained silent. "C'mon, Allister!" Ayame pleaded. "I know you feel for Dylan the same way I feel about Harper, even if you won't admit it."

"Ayame…"

"Please Allister? If you don't want to do this for yourself, then at least do it for me. Please?" Ayame begged.

Allister couldn't bring himself to speak.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I know exactly how she was feeling. I miss Dylan so much I can barely stand it some times, even if we never officially had anything." Allister said to the camera. "My problem isn't that I don't want to bring Dylan back, it's that I've never been much of a fighter and I've always left people walk all over me… but then it hit me. That was the reason I came to the island. Not for the money, but to gain some self confidence."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

He sighed. "Look, Ayame. I'm not guaranteeing anything. But I promise that I'll try my hardest to win this."

Ayame smiled and hugged him. "That's all I'm asking." She said.

~ELSEWHERE~

"This sucks." Nicholas groaned.

"How do you think I feel about it?" Penny demanded from the other side of the bathroom stall door which Nicholas was leaning against. "I can barely reach the toilet seat like this!" Nicholas had his back against the bathroom stall because Penny had to go, and Penny couldn't quite reach the seat because she and Nicholas were handcuffed together. Nicholas jumped slightly when he heard Penny groan in frustration and stand up. "This isn't going to work!"

"Why don't we ask Chris for the wimp key?" Nicholas asked

"You think he would let us use it without any consequences?" Penny asked as she exited the stall.

"No." Nicholas said. "But he already said no one is going home today. I'm guessing the worst he can do is eliminate us from the challenge today."

"You realize this is Chris McClain we're talking about." Penny said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Really? I thought we were talking about Christopher Columbus." Nicholas said sarcastically. "Do you have a full bladder or not?"

"Fine, whatever." Penny said, leading Nicholas out of the communal washrooms to find Chris. "Feel like I'm about to explode anyway."

They found Chris inside Chef's kitchen, leaning back in a chair with a bag of frozen corn sitting on his face. Chef explained to them about the tracking bracelet and how Chris was causing physical harm to himself to distract himself from an itch underneath it.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Nicholas and Penny both sat in the confessional outhouse laughing hysterically.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

As expected, Chris handed over the Wimp Key to them but they were automatically disqualified from the competition. Considering that they couldn't be sent home anyway, it was no big deal. The second Penny was un-cuffed she ran from the Mess Hall and made a beeline straight for the communal washrooms.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Was it just me or could you hear her sigh all the way in the Mess Hall?" Nicholas chuckled to the camera.

~LATER~

Tak and Payton say on the edge of the Dock of Shame, Payton leaning into Tak with her head resting on his shoulder, the fingers of their cuffed hands laced together. Tak would've liked to have one arm wrapped around her shoulders or waist, but that would've been uncomfortable for her obviously. They were content, happy. It was almost a perfect picture. Then Payton chuckled about something she'd been thinking about. Curious, Tak looked down at her. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"Oh, it's nothing." She said. "It's just… well…" She lifted up her arm, pulling his up along with it. "There are only a few situations where I ever thought I'd be handcuffed at all… and being handcuffed to you, well…"

"Wait, let me guess." Tak interrupted with a mischievous grin. "Being cuffed to me is filling your head with nasty images and whatnot."

She elbowed him in the stomach lightly. "Sorry, Tak, but my mind isn't in the gutter." She lied.

"All right, all right." Tak said, raising his free hand in surrender. "Still, you'd rather be stuck with me than anyone else on the island, right?"

Almost before he'd finished speaking Payton had pushed him onto his back and rolled on top of him. "Does this answer your question?" she asked before leaning down and kissing him. They lay there for a few moments, embracing each other with their legs hanging over the edge of the dock. They wished that the reason they would have had to break apart was the need for oxygen, but instead their lips separated when Tak felt someone kick his head lightly. They looked up to find Jason and Sakura standing just above them.

"C'mon you two." Jason said. "As much as you must be enjoying the moment, it's challenge time."

"Great…" Tak and Payton groaned as they stood up and followed Jason and Sakura back to the Mess Hall.

"You know you're going to get it now, Jason." Tak whispered to the other boy.

"No thank you." Jason said. "I just stopped you from getting it. So I don't want anything you have to offer."

"Good one." Sakura said.

"I do my best."

They were the last to arrive at the Mess Hall. The two couples sat opposite each other, Jason and Sakura next to TJ and Kyra and Tak and Payton next to Allister and Ayame. Nicholas and Penny were there as well, but they were no longer cuffed together. "What's all this about?" TJ asked.

"I had to pee." Penny explained. "Chris would only un-cuff us if we willingly disqualified ourselves."

"Oh. That explains it." TJ said.

At that moment Chris walked out of the Kitchen, his face now covered in medical bandages. "Hll, cmprs. Rdy fr yr frst chllng?" he said, the bandages muffling his words so he could barely be understood. An intern holding some poster board walked out of the kitchen seconds later. He scribbled onto the poster board with a sharpy and then held it up, translating Chris's words. "Hello, campers. Ready for your first challenge?"

"Let's do this!" Ayame said enthusiastically.

"All right then!" the translator wrote down as Chris continued mumbling. "Then let's get started. Please follow me to the amphitheater." Chris led them there and they sat down on the bleachers. "Now then. For the first part of today's challenge, you all will be participating in a talent show. The rules are simple. Both partners must participate and whoever does the best job gets the first point of the game. Any questions? No? Good. TJ and Kyra, you're up first."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Okay, so I'm panicking." Kyra said to the camera. "I love him, but I have to admit that TJ doesn't have much talent except for throwing a wild party. Then I started thinking about what I can do. So, long story short, we were screwed unless TJ pulled a miracle out of his butt."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"So, you got a plan?" Kyra asked as she and TJ stepped behind the curtain of the amphitheater.

TJ smirked. "Just follow my lead, baby."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Kyra once again sits in front of the camera in the confessional outhouse, only this time her clothes and hair are soaking wet and her hair is matted down over her face. She reached up and pulled a strand out hair out of the way of one of her eyes. "Did I say I love him? It's more of a love/hate relationship."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

When the curtain of the amphitheater rose the other campers were surprised to find TJ sitting on a unicycle with Kyra standing next to him, holding onto it for balance. "This should be good." The translator wrote as Chris mumbled. "Whenever you're ready."

TJ clapped his hands and an intern backstage hit play on a boom box. Circus music started playing and Kyra, in an amazing leap that left everyone watching almost speechless, jumped up onto TJ's shoulders. Unfortunately, that's when things went awry. TJ tried to start pedaling but, having not considered the balance issues that came with Kyra on his shoulders, he quickly lost control of the unicycle. Long story short, they ended up a quarter mile away in the lake. Chris was laughing hysterically through his bandages and held up a sign reading "FAIL."

Jason and Sakura were up next. They attempted to play a single guitar together, but with their cuffed hands that was easier said than done. The tried playing Ozzy Osborn's "Iron Man", but it ended up sounding more like the Jaws theme. Chris, unimpressed, once again held up the "FAIL" sign.

Payton and Tak were up next.

"So, what will you be doing for us?" Chris's translator wrote down.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"So it turns out that me and Tak don't really have any talents we can do together." Payton said to the camera, supporting her head in her hands and resting her elbows on her knees. "He had the idea for me to rap since he can DJ and I can sing, but I don't really care for rap so that idea went out the window."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Yeah, we're going to have to pass." Payton said.

"Will you be taking the Wimp Key?"

"No." Tak added. "We just have no idea what to do."

Chris shrugged and held up the "FAIL" sign again. "Ayame, Allister, please do something worth watching." He pleaded.

"Don't worry." Allister said.

"We've got this in the bag." Ayame added.

Ayame and Allister went behind the curtain. Within a few seconds music started playing, "She's Got Me Dancing" by Tommy Sparks, and the curtain began to rise. Fog rolled out from under the curtain as it rose and Ayame and Allister began walking forward once it was high enough. Together they danced to the music in perfect synchronization, almost making a mirror image with their movements.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Personally, I'm no fan of dancing." Nicholas said to the camera. "But I have to admit that those two had skill."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"They were simply amazing!" Payton said to the camera excitedly.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I have to say," TJ said to the camera. "If I didn't already know he was into dudes, that dance would've made me question Allister's sexuality… Yeah. It was that good."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

As the music came to an abrupt stop Allister and Ayame froze, mirroring each other's body positions with their arms stretched out slightly, their heads flung back and their eyes closed. Everyone watching began cheering (including TJ and Kyra who had just returned from their swim) and Chris held up a sign with "Epic Win" written on it. Allister and Ayame smiled contently as they stepped off the stage.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Oh yeah, we're so winning this challenge." Ayame said with a sly grin to the confessional camera, Allister sitting beside her. "… Even if it kills us."

"Um, wouldn't that defeat the whole point of winning the challenge?" Allister questioned.

Ayame rolled her eyes. "Shut up! I'm on a roll!"

* * *

(a/n) for the record, I actually wanted to do another part of the challenge in this chapter but that wouldve taken me another week the way Ive been writing lately. so yeah. the better parts of the challenge will come next time around.


	22. Cuffed Part 2

(a/n) sorry it took me so long to update this time. I honestly dont have a good excuse other than procrastination and the fact that Ive been easily distracted lately. but whatever. anyway, Im kind of disapointed by the length of this chapter (its a thousand words short of my usual 4000 goal) but I like how it turne dout, especially the ending... enjoy.

* * *

Episode 21: Cuffed Part 2

After the talent show the contestants were given a fifteen minute break to prepare for the next part of the challenge which Chris had yet to reveal. Ayame and Allister were busy thinking of anything the challenge could be, determined to win. Kyra, still unhappy with TJ about the unicycle incident, was doing her best to ignore her boyfriend while he was stuck in an infinite loop of apology. Jason and Sakura were just sitting on the Dock of Shame talking together. Tak and Payton were relaxing, half asleep as they lay on the beach. And Nicholas and Penny, having nothing better to do, were hanging out with the camera crew.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Nothing worth filming really happened." Steve the Camera Guy said to the camera as he played a handheld video game. "In fact, those fifteen minutes was so boring it seemed more like more than two months."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

At the end of the break the camera crew sent Nicholas and Penny out to gather the contestants. They brought them to the sight of the next challenge: a pair of tennis courts. "Isn't this where the dodge ball court used to be?" Jason questioned.

"Crrct!" Chris, his face still fully bandaged, mumbled as he and his translating intern arrived. The interns' poster board read, "Correct." Chris continued mumbling and the intern translated. "Now, your next challenge will be…"

"Tennis?" Tak asked, rolling his eyes. Suddenly Tak's head was pounding, he could barely think, and he, and subsequently Payton, was on the ground after Chris hit him over the head with a burlap sack full of potatoes.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Where the hell did he get a bag of potatoes?" Tak demanded, rubbing his head.

"Easy, Honey." Payton, sitting next to him, said. "You might have a concussion."

"Relax, it's just a head ache." Tak reassured her.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"No!" Chris's translator wrote as Chris swung the potato sack over his shoulder. "You will be playing badminton!"

"Was it really necessary to his my boyfriend?" Payton demanded.

"He'll be fine!" Chris mumbled. "Those potatoes were half rotten anyway. His head probably did more damage to them than the other way around."

"Give me those!" Chef said as he walked up to the TV host and snatched the sack away from Chris. "Now I have to use these in tonight's dinner to get rid of the murder weapon." Almost everyone's faces turned green at this thought as Chef stalked off.

"Anyway…" Chris continued, "Tak and Payton, Jason and Sakura, you're on court A. TJ and Kyra, Ayame and Allister, you're on court B." Each person took a racket from the intern handing them out and proceeded to their assigned court. "Now, a few rules. Each person on the team is allowed to hit the birdie once and only once before it must go over the net. If your opponents fail to return the birdie to your side of the net before it hits the ground, you get a point. However, if you fail to get the birdie over to your opponents' side they get a point. Also, if you step out of bounds your opponents get a point. Other than that you pretty much have free reign. Any questions?"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Yeah, since when is injuring your teammate not a foul or whatever the terminology for this stupid game is?" TJ asked, glaring at the camera with a badminton racket bent over his head.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"No? Good!" Chris continued. "Then let the battle—I mean games begin!"

"We don't have a birdie." Tak reminded him. "None of us do."

Chris chuckled through his bandages. "Oh, that's right… I forgot to mention that instead of serving the birdies yourselves… they're going to be shot out of cannons positioned behind you!" Everyone turned around and, sure enough, there were cannons, reminiscent of the ones used during the American Revolution, sitting just outside the court.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Why do things keep appearing out of nowhere?" Payton questioned.

~COMMERCIAL~

A man dressed as Harry Potter stood in front of the camera in a seemingly empty warehouse. "Industrial Size Invisibility Cloak! Hides large things or large amounts of small things from people! Warning: side effects may include temptation to do stupid things, cars accidentally hitting you, and every kind of cancer…"

~END COMMERCIAL~

Chef, now in his drill sergeant gear, stepped up next to the cannon behind Kyra and TJ. "Ready… aim…" everyone tensed, waiting for the final word. "…wait, which one has an actual cannonball again? All well—FIRE!"

The four cannons went off consecutively with earsplitting bangs. TJ saw the actual cannonball flying through the air. "Look out!" he shouted as he tackled Kyra out of the way of… the badminton birdie. The cannonball was actually headed for Jason and Sakura on the next court over and they were able to dodge it easily. Realizing his mistake, TJ looked back at the girl under him with a nervous grin. Kyra scowled, took her racket, and smacked it against her boyfriends head, bending it to the point where it got stuck.

"Wimp Key, please." She said as she pushed TJ off of her. Chris tossed her the key and she quickly unlocked her cuffs. "I'll be in my cabin when you're ready to take your lumps." She said as she walked away.

Chris began laughing and mumbling under his bandages. "And in an ironic twist, Kyra has decided to forfeit due to TJ's constant screw ups!" wrote Chris's translator. "This means Allister and Ayame win by default!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Well that was anti climactic." Ayame said, rolling her eyes.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I don't get it. Why am I—ow!" TJ yelped as he finally managed to yank the racket off of his head, pulling a few clumps of hair with it. "… in trouble?" he finished, rubbing his sore head.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Meanwhile Jason and Sakura and Tak and Payton were going at it, sending the birdie back and forth so fast it could barely be see. They moved surprisingly well for being handcuffed together. Chris had expected almost everyone to stumble around and be unable to even come close to hitting the birdie, but apparently he'd seriously underestimated these kids. Maybe it was time to up the ante. "Chef?"

Chef nodded and turned to the gunners of the cannon behind Tak and Payton. "FIRE!"

A birdie shot out of the cannon just as Tak launched the first back at Jason and Sakura. Sakura was dragging Jason over to go after the first and Jason was trying to think of anything to keep the other in the air long enough to go after it. He did the first thing he thought of. In what cloud only be considered a miracle Jason threw his racket towards the falling birdie and it shot like an arrow. The birdie bounced off it perfectly and shot back up into the air. Sakura, having disposed of the other birdie already, raced over and slapped the second birdie back over the net. Tak and Payton were unable to get at it before it hit the ground.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Okay, I'll admit it." Tak said to the camera with a blank stare. "That was effing awesome."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"That was effing awesome." Chef said, gawking at Jason and Sakura.

"Tht **ws** ffng wsm." Chris mumbled in agreement.

"Was it that awesome?" Jason asked, turning to his girlfriend.

"It was effing awesome." Sakura concurred.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, everyone starring at Jason in amazement, Chef finally decided to get the game going again. "FIRE!" he shouted. The interns at the cannons quickly snapped out of their trances and fired the cannons, the loud bang bringing everyone else back to reality. The game resumed and for the next five minutes or so Jason and Sakura and Tak and Payton were hitting birdies back and forth, at one point five at a time. But when an intern blew the whistle and the game ended, Jason and Sakura came out on top.

"Congratulations too our two winning teams!" Chris's translator wrote as Chris walked over and wrapped his arms around the shoulders of Jason, Sakura, Ayame, and Allister. "Now we just need to decide who wins this part of the challenge. Which will it be, kids? **EPIC CLIMACTIC BADMINTON BATTLE!!!**... or a coin flip?"

"Coin flip." All four said in unison.

"Really?" Chris questioned. "No climactic final battle scene?"

"There is still more challenges to go." Chef said. "So technically it wouldn't be climactic which would imply the ending, so a coin toss seems appropriate."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Fine." He pulled a quarter out of his pocket and flipped it into the air. Jason and Sakura called tails, leaving Ayame and Allister with heads. Chris caught it and placed it onto his wrist, his hand over it. Pulling his hand away, her revealed it to have landed on tails. "And Jason and Sakura win the badminton challenge!" Jason and Sakura high-fived and kissed in celebration.

"Could we have the Wimp Key, please?" Payton asked. She was kneeling next to Tak who was sitting on the ground holding his head. "I think Tak might have a concussion from when you hit him with a potato sack."

"It's just a headache, I'll be fine." Tak insisted.

"I'm not taking that chance." Payton said. "Wimp Key, please." Chris tossed it to her and she quickly undid their cuffs. "Now let's get you to the infirmary."

"Well, this is getting a bit annoying. Didn't expect three out of five teams to use the Wimp Key." Chris mumbled. "Anyway… with just two teams left I guess we'll go to our final challenge of the day!"

~TWO AND A HALF MINUTES LATER~

"Handcuffed Pole Vaulting!"

Chris, Sakura, Jason, Ayame, Allister, and the camera crew now stood around a typical Pole Vaulting set up, but with the TDD logo on the mat. The contestants couldn't believe what they were hearing while Chris and the camera crew were struggling to hold back laughter.

"You can not be serious." Jason said, gawking at the idea. "This is crazy, stupid, dangerous, and potentially deadly even for an Olympic Pole Vaulter. Where the hell did you get this idea?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised at a lot of the ideas fans put on the website." Chris mumbled.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Okay, whoever badassbrownie736 is, I'm going to hunt you down and then I'm going to kill you." Sakura, now sporting a neck brace, growled to the camera.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Wimp Key, anybody?" Chris offered.

"Hell no!" Ayame growled. She dragged Allister, who was quite a bit more reluctant to compete, over and grabbed two poles, shoving one into his hand. "Just remember who we're doing this for." She said to him.

"Right…" Allister gulped nervously.

With their poles in hand, they ran together towards the bar, planted their poles into the ground and swung up into the air… only to have one pole snap half way up, resulting in both of them falling to the ground. Chris, Jason, and Sakura ran over to them. "How're you guys feeling?" Sakura asked.

"Good enough…" Allister groaned before his eyes snapped open and he glared at Chris. "To kill this son of a bitch!" His hands suddenly lurched out and he started strangling Chris. Jason and Sakura were able to rip Allisters' hands off of Chris's throat. "We could've died! What is wrong with you?"

"Blame the producers. They're the ones that chose the challenge!" Chris choked (more from laughing than Allisters' strangling).

"You are a producer!" Allister shouted.

"… Okay, guilty. Now it's Jason and Sakura's turn!"

"You're kidding, right?" Jason asked.

"Don't be such a baby." Sakura said as she dragged Jason over to grab their poles.

"Didn't you just see what happened to them?"

"They're fine."

"I disagree."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I had bruises over fifteen percent of my body and was sore as hell the next day." Ayame said. "But otherwise yeah, I was fine."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Jason and Sakura stood side by side with their poles in hand. "I can't believe you're making me do this."

"Quite complaining and maybe you'll get to second base."

"I doubt it."

"So would I with that attitude, now run."

Jason groaned and he and Sakura took off running at the bar. Planting their poles into the ground they launched themselves into the air, surpassed Ayame and Allisters' height and almost making it over the bar when, again, one of the poles snapped and they fell back to the ground. At that height they could've been seriously hurt, but luckily Chef showed up at the last second and pushed the mat under them, cushioning the landing.

"You couldn't have done that for us?" Ayame demanded.

"You were too low to the ground." Chef said. "You weren't hurt that bad anyway."

"But they didn't get hurt at all." Allister grumbled.

"I can't move my neck." Sakura said.

Chris, Chef, and the camera crew all ran to assist Sakura but Ayame and Allister un-cuffed themselves and stalked off. When they reached the bonfire Ayame punched a tree and Allister dropped to his knees, tears welling up in his eyes. "Damn it." Ayame growled.

"Damn it." Allister agreed.

~LATER~

By dusk that night not much had changed. Kyra was still made at TJ and TJ still didn't understand why, Payton still insisted that Tak stay off his feet while Tak lied that he didn't have a headache any more, Jason and Sakura were both in the infirmary and would be until the next morning, Ayame and Allister were still sulking, and Nicholas and Penny were still bored enough to hang out with the interns and camera crew. Chris had been on the phone for hours talking to the producers about the awesome footage they'd gotten, but he could not be understood because his bandages had yet to be removed. And of course Chef was busy preparing dinner which he'd found, already dead, somewhere in the woods along with the rotten potatoes.

But while everyone else went about a regular, albeit unhappy, day Steve the Camera Guy was on an unusual though not that difficult job. He waited on the Dock of Shame for the two contestants Jason and Sakura had chosen to return to the island. About five minutes after arriving at the dock he saw the boat on the horizon. He began wondering who the winners had picked. He certainly didn't know. They'd told Chris in private and he'd called it in. Steve began to think over the eliminated contestants and, eliminating Russell immediately, he was able to limit down to five possible.

The boat pulled up to the dock and the two returning stepped off before it left again. Steve was pleased, but not surprised, to see who was back. "Glad to see you again."

"Could you take us to see Jason and Sakura?"

"Sure." Steve said. "Follow me."

He led them to the infirmary where Jason and Sakura were watching TV, both half asleep due to the exhaustion from the day. Jason turned his head to see them. Sakura now sported a neck brace and was unable to do so. "Well look who's here." He said. "Welcome back, guys."

"Thanks."

"So why'd you choose us?"

Sakura smiled. "Why do you think."

They smiled. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Jason said. "Now aren't there more important people you should go see?"

In the girls cabin Ayame was alone, laying stomach down on her bed, starring blankly at the wall. Kyra, Payton, and Penny knew that she needed some space at the moment so they'd decided to hang out in the Mess Hall for a while. She was upset that she hadn't won the challenge. She knew she'd see Harper again eventually, but just the thought that she'd had a chance to see him sooner and failed was all the more upsetting.

She sighed as she heard a knock at the door. "Go away!" she said. But the door opened anyway. Angry, she grabbed her pillow and threw it at the intruder. "I said go!" The pillow hit the intruder right in the face and he stumbled back, hitting his head against one of the bunk beds before falling onto his face. Ayame, afraid he could be seriously hurt, got up and went to his side. "Oh my god! Are you all right?" she asked as she turned him over and gasped when she saw his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine I guess." Harper said, rubbing the back of his head. His head was pounding pretty badly, actually, but seeing the brightness of her face when she saw him lessened the pain.

She pulled him into a tight hug. "You're back!" she squealed in delight.

"Choking… can't… breath…" Harper gasped.

"Shut up and kiss me." Ayame laughed before pressing her lips to his.

Elsewhere, Allister sat at the top of the thousand foot cliff, looking out to the sunset. Tears were still rolling down his cheeks, but he'd never sobbed or made any noise. What would be the point. Tears were a natural reaction to sadness. Moaning and wailing was just being melodramatic.

He heard someone approaching him from behind. He looked over his shoulder and, to his surprise, found Dylan standing there, arms crossed over his chest and grinning slyly. Allister stood and shook his head, thinking he was seeing things. But sure enough he was actually there. They didn't speak as they approached each other but they understood exactly how the other felt. Dylan placed on hand on Allisters' shoulder, making Allisters' face turn slightly red, and he chuckled. Allister smiled at him weakly before pulling him into a tight hug, Dylan happily returning it. They just stood there in each others arms for what to them seemed like an eternity. Then Allister pulled back slightly and looked up to the other boy before craning his neck up and captured Dylan's lips in his own.


	23. Wrong!

(a/n) in all honesty, I don't really care for this chapter, I just had to get it out of the way. Next challenge, however, I can really sink my teeth (no, thats not a hint... Im serious, not a hint, so stop speculation on some offbeat comment) into so look forward to that!

* * *

Episode 22: Wrong!

Chris kicked open his cabin door and stepped outside, a grin on his face, without bandages having miraculously healed completely after only three days, as he took a whiff of the air. He had just gotten his tracking bracelet taken off after Lena had admitted to forcing herself on him and now he was free as a bird. "I feel like dancing!"

"No time for that, boss monkey." Steven the Camera Guy said as he walked passed Chris towards the Dock of Shame. "We got a recap to shoot."

Chris just stood there for a moment, still grinning. "Ruin the moment why don't ya?" he said before following Steve.

Once at the Dock of Shame Steve set up his camera and Chris positioned himself in front of it. When the red light came on and Steve gave him the thumbs up, Chris began his speech. "Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… Our ten remaining competitors were split into teams of two and handcuffed together for this season's non-elimination challenge, the prize for which was choosing the two eliminated campers who would return. This caught Ayame and Allister's attention, as both of their love interests had already been eliminated. Unfortunately, Penny's bladder caused her and Nicholas to forfeit before the games had even begun. So, with only four teams remaining, we began the talent show… which everyone failed miserably except for Ayame and Allister, thus earning them the first point in the game and being one step closer to being reunited with Harper and Dylan. In the next part of the challenge the four teams played badminton. Doesn't sound unreasonable… until the birdies are shot out of cannons that is! And to make things worse, one of them shot actual cannon balls! When TJ saw an actual cannonball flying towards him and Kyra he did the noble things and tackled his girlfriend out of the way… only to realize that it was actually going to Jason and Sakura. Needless to say, Kyra was mad… so she hit him over the head with her racket and asked for the wimp key. One more down. Meanwhile, Jason, Sakura, Tak, and Payton were going at it pretty well. Jason and Sakura ended up winning, thus pitting them against Ayame and Allister in the **EPIC CLIMACTIC BADMINTON BATTLE!**... Actually, they opted for the coin flip, which Jason and Sakura won. Then Payton asked for the wimp key because Tak was suffering from a head injury he'd previously gotten." Chris caused briefly to cough, trying to be nonchalant. "Anyway, that brings us to the final part of the challenge: handcuffed pole vaulting! It was crazy, stupid, dangerous, and potentially deadly… which is what we love around here! Neither of the remaining teams backed down and they paid the price with some serious injuries. But Jason and Sakura ended up winning, leaving Ayame and Allister devastated. However, in a great act of kindness if there ever was one, Jason and Sakura chose Harper and Dylan to return to the island. Don't ya love a happy ending?

"Today we're going to give our campers a break. Instead of giving them the torturous physical challenges like we've been doing lately, we're going to test their mental power. Get ready to see some monkeys scratch their heads today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" The annual explosions went off along the beach and Steve shut off his camera.

"Good job, man." Steve complemented. "Went a little better than usual."

"What can I say? I'm in a good mood." Chris said with a grin.

There was a brief, awkward silence. "Something tells me you're going to do something sadistic in the challenge today, aren't you?"

"Oh yeah."

~LATER~

The sad but rather pleasant truth: love is contagious.

The infectious disease known as teen romance had first gotten into the air of Wawanakwa Island when Harper and Dylan returned three days ago. Long story short, the last seventy-two hours had been an all out mack-fest for Ayame and Harper. As far as anyone else on the island could tell, Ayame was the instigator of all of this and Harper was more than happy to oblige, and the only time their lips seemed to be apart was when they were both half blue from lack of oxygen. Allister and Dylan weren't as open with their affection, but could often be seen around the island holding hand and sneaking the occasional kiss. However, things did get awkward enough for the rest of the remaining boys to move to the other side of the cabin when they shared a bed on the night of Dylan's return, which hadn't happened sense.

Those two couples were the catalyst which began the epidemic of romance on the island. Seeing how happy and affectionate the two newly reunited couples were had gotten the other three into the same demeanor. Kyra had gotten over her attitude towards TJ after his screw ups in the previous challenge and now the two were practically inseparable. Kyra still intended on getting revenge on him, but now in a more playful than sadistic way. Tak and Payton had also become more open around the island with their romance. Oddly enough, Jason and Sakura had turned up their displays of affection by becoming a lot more competitive with each other. But even after hours of pointless arguments and ridiculous competitions between the two, at the end of the day they could always be found sitting at the end of the Dock of Shame, silently sitting close together.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"All the romance around the island left a bad taste in my mouth." Chris said to the camera. "Or was that Chef's chicken and dumplings Thursday night?"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Why do I get the feeling that, if I walk through that door, not only am I going to see something I don't want to see, but I'm going to see something sick and wrong on so many levels?" Nicholas said as he, Dylan, and Allister stood outside the boy's cabin. "I mean listen to that! What could they possible be doing in there?"

"Surrender!" they heard Jason shout from the inside.

"You'll have to do better than that!" Sakura replied, laughing uncontrollably through the sentence.

"Hurry up and surrender already." Jason said. "My arms are getting tired."

"And on that note, I'm leaving." Dylan said before walking away.

"Yeah me too." Allister agreed, quickly following.

"Wait for me." Nicholas said.

Inside of the cabin Jason and Sakura were not in some crazy provocative position. Rather, Jason had been tickling Sakura on his bed for so long that she was about to go insane unless she surrendered, like Jason wanted, which wasn't going to happen. This had began innocently enough as a playful game but had since escalated into the borderline torture that it now seemed to be. "Ready to give up?"

"Never!"

"Your funeral." Jason grinned.

"Or yours!"

Sakura suddenly grabbed onto Jason's sides and managed to flip him over on the bed, pinning his arms and straddling his hips. She glared down at him with a sinister grin while he just chuckled sheepishly. "I surrender…" he said.

"Oh no." Sakura said. "You're getting it just like you gave it to me."

"Sorry, I'm not into the kinky stuff."

Sakura just rolled her eyes. "Perv… any last words?"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Just one." Jason said to the camera, grinning stupidly. "Straddling my hips like that, I only had one thing to say to her… _boing_!" he laughed. Then he paused. "Are these dirty jokes getting out of hand already?"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Just as Sakura was about to begin tickling Jason to the point where he would likely piss his pants, Chris's voice came over the camp loud speakers, putting an end to their fun. "Attention all campers please put your tongues back in your own mouths and report to the amphitheater for today's challenge." Sakura groaned and collapsed on top of Jason. He just sighed and wrapped his arms around her, patting her back.

"There, there." He comforted her. "You'll get to torture me later."

Sakura just chuckled before explaining. "It's not that, though yes I will be doing that later." She said. "Everyone has been so happy these passed few days… I've kind of been dreading today's challenge. Odds are a couple is going to be split up when someone goes home tonight."

"Not necessarily. Penny or Nicholas could be going home tonight." Jason suggested.

Sakura just chuckled and snuggled closer to him. "I guess." She agreed. "But I don't want them to go either. They're good friends too."

"Well we've got to send someone home." Jason insisted.

Sakura thought about it for a moment. "How about Chris."

Jason just laughed. "If only."

Suddenly Chris's voice sounded throughout the camp again. "Attention Jason and Sakura. Please put your clothes on and report the amphitheater already!"

"I hate him." Sakura grumbled as she got up and headed for the door.

"Maybe we should take voting him off seriously." Jason said as he followed her.

At the amphitheater everyone was waiting patiently, except for Chris who was on the stage, for Jason and Sakura to arrive. To keep themselves occupied until the challenge started, the ten campers already there were playing a little game called "Guess the Movie Quote."

"Are you kidding? I'm William Shatner. I can get anything." TJ said

"William Shatner, playing himself, said that in a little movie called Fan Boys." Harper answered, pulling his lips away from Ayame long enough to speak.

"Man, you are good at this." TJ said as Harper and Ayame went back to making out.

"I'm guessing he's probably seen practically every movie made in the last ten years." Penny said. A muffled grunt from Harper confirmed this.

"I guess it's my turn then." Payton said. She thought quickly and decided on a movie. "For the benefit of Mr. Kite—" she started before being interrupted by Dylan.

"There will be a show tonight." Dylan finished. "That's the beginning of one of the Beatle's songs used in Across the Universe. Don't ever question me about the Beatles."

"Well, look who finally decided to show up." Chris said as Jason and Sakura finally arrived, taking their seats next to TJ and Kyra. "Now we can finally get this show going. So how many of you have ever watched jeopardy?" Everyone raised their hands. "Good. Because today we're testing your trivial knowledge in a little variation of the game. Rules are simple. Choose a category and a point value and then answer the question to the best of your knowledge."

"That's it?" Tak questioned. "That's the challenge?"

"Not quite." Chris said. "Here's the catch. If you get the answer wrong you have to spin the…" the curtain behind him rose up, revealing a large wheel reminiscent of the one from _The Price is Right_. "The Wheel of Torture!" Chris announced. "And whatever torture you land on you must endure for the rest of the game! The last person left or whoever has the most points once all the questions are gone wins."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I think I can endure anything on that wheel." Tak said with a cocky tone. "So long as none of them have anything to do with country music."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

It was only then that Chris realized no one was listening to him. "Hey, pay attention to me! Extremely hot reality show host giving instructions on how to win a hundred grand over here!" When Chris got no response he rolled his eyes and pulled out his trump card. "SEX!" he shouted, gaining everyone's undivided though confused attention. Chris chuckled, looking directly into Steve's camera. "A word of advice for parents watching at home. If a teenager's not listening to you, there are two things you can shout to get their attention. If _money_ doesn't work, _sex_ will." He then turned back to the campers. "Now let's get this show rolling. Point range is one to five hundred. Categories are… movies, ancient weaponry, comic books, mythology, and Chris McClain."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Okay, let's play Guess the TV quote." Nicholas said to the camera. "A giant ego! I have a giant ego!" he paused for a few seconds as if to give an audience some time to think. "If you guessed Dr. Cox from Scrubs, you would be incorrect. The correct answer is Chris McClain. Chris McClain has a giant ego."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Let's get started." Chris said as Chef walked over to the bleachers where the campers sat, handing each of them a small remote which, when used, made a buzzing noise to signal they had the answer. "Jason, Sakura, since you won the last challenge one of you can go first."

Sakura went to choose a category, but stopped when she felt Jason's hand on her shoulder. "I got this." He said, then turned to Chris. "Comics, five hundred."

"Confident, I see." Chris said, pulling a card out from seemingly nowhere. "Correctly name the series, volume, number, and year of Wolverine's first full appearance in comic books."

Jason knew the answer instantly but someone else managed to hit their button before him. "X-Men, volume one, number one, nineteen sixty." Harper answered confidently. There was a loud buzzing sound as electricity suddenly surged through Harper's body, making it clear that he was incorrect. Chris just started laughing uncontrollably.

"I forgot to mention." Chris said. "Your buzzers will also shock you if you get an answer wrong. So, anyone got the correct answer before Harper spins the Wheel of Torture?"

Jason hit his buzzer. "The Incredible Hulk, volume one, number one eighty-one, nineteen seventy-four."

"Correct!" Chris said enthusiastically. "Five hundred points for Jason! Now Harper, get down here and spin the…" he stopped, thinking that the other campers would finish his sentence, but they didn't. Disappointed, Chris finished his sentence. "… Wheel of Torture!"

Harper reluctantly walked down to the stage and spun the wheel, stopping after a few rotations. Harper's jaw dropped as he saw what was written on the square he'd landed on and Chris just laughed. "Oh, one of my favorites. Cover yourself in pollen and then expose yourself to a swarm of bees!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Harper sat in the confessional outhouse, many large red bumps now on his arms and face. "I hate him so much."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"But I'm allergic to bees!" Harper pleaded as Chef grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him off to the side, holding a bucket full of flower pollen and a sack full of bees in the other hand.

"Not according to your paperwork, you're not."Chris snickered while Harper nervously started running his sentences together and Chef dumped the pollen on him. Chris then decided to continue the game. "Now then—" He stopped and Ayame could barely stop herself from running to his aid as they heard Harper scream as bees began to sting him for fidgeting too much. "Penny! You're up next."

"Um… movies, two hundred." She said.

Chris pulled up another card and read it aloud. "What book is Warner Brothers currently developing into, not one but, two movies?"

Having no idea, Penny just shrugged, hit her buzzer, and guessed. "Harry Potter seven?"

"Correct! That's two hundred!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Complete shot in the dark." Penny admitted with a proud grin. "I honestly had no idea."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Moving on… Kyra!"

Kyra groaned and scratched her head. She didn't know much about any of the categories, but there was one that she felt would be pretty predictable. "Chris McClain… three hundred."

Chris grinned as his massive ego took over his consciousness. "Who's the most handsome TV show host of all time?" All eleven buzzers went off almost simultaneously, giving Chris a hard time determining whose had sounded first. "I think I heard… Dylan's go off first. Your answer please."

"Chris McClain." Dylan said confidently.

"You are correct sir! Three hundred points!"

From there the remaining four questions in the Chris McClain category flew off the shelf. Chris would ask an insanely egotistical question for which the answer was, what else, his name; then wash, put up to dry, reuse, repeat. By the end of this fiasco Payton was in the lead with six hundred, followed by Jason and Ayame with five hundred each, Penny with two hundred, then TJ with one hundred leaving everyone else with nothing. "Well look at that. My favorite category seems to be everyone else's favorite too." Chris said after TJ correctly answered the last question of the four.

"For the love of god, go faster!" Harper shouted from the sidelines, followed by an earsplitting shriek. "No one… should be stung there." He groaned.

"Okay then. Sakura, your turn." Chris said.

Sakura thought it over for a moment. She knew pretty much jack about ancient weaponry, and she only knew so much about mythology and comic books thanks to movies. That thought lead to the only logical answer. "Movies, three hundred."

"What is the only movie sequel to ever win the best picture award in the history of the academy awards?" Chris asked.

Sakura could barely believe it. She knew the answer was one of her all time favorite films. "The Godfather, part two."

"Bingo! Three hundred! Up next… picking at random… Tak!"

"Let's make everyone scratch their heads, shall we? Ancient weaponry, four hundred." Tak said.

"A risk taker. I like it." Chris commented as he pulled up a card. "What is the name of the sword traditionally used by ninjas?"

Tak laughed and hit his buzzer quickly. "That would be the Katana." He said.

"Wrong!" Chris said as the buzzer sent electricity surging through Tak's body.

"Common misconception." Ayame said as she hit her buzzer. "I believe the correct answer is the Ninjato."

"Correct! Four hundred points for Ayame. Now Tak, I believe you know what you have to do." Chris chuckled as Tak stuffed his hands in his pockets and slowly walked down to spin the Wheel of Torture. "Oh, good on!" Chris said as the wheel came to a stop. "You must soak your clothes in the juices of raw meat, and then you will be locked into a pen with a pack of coyotes."

"This seems really sadistic, even for you Chris." Tak said nervously as Chef picked him up and dunked him into a barrel of raw meat up to his neck.

"Hey, at least I didn't say lions… that's a different option on the wheel." Chris replied as Chef picked up the barrel, Tak still in it, and walked off into the woods. It wasn't much longer that barking could be heard as well as Tak screaming and Chef laughing. "Moving on… Allister!"

"Um… Mythology, three hundred."

"Okay… In Nordic mythology, what beast is Thor destined to kill during Ragnorok only to walk nine paces before falling dead from the creature's venom."

Allister quickly hit his buzzer and answered. "The Midgard Serpent."

"Yep. Three hundred… Nicholas, you're up." Nicholas already knew what he had to do. He needed to get into the game and only one category could help him there. He chose the four hundred point question in the movies category and Chris quickly read the card. "At the nineteen seventy-seven academy awards, what film did Star Wars Episode IV lose the best picture award to?"

Nicholas grinned, knowing the answer immediately, but was dumbfounded when someone else hit their buzzer before him. "Annie Hall." Penny announced.

"Correct!" Chris said. "That's four hundred for you. Dylan, you want to take the next one?"

"Um… comic books, three hundred."

"Chronologically, who was the first villain in Spider-man's Rogue Gallery to appear in comic books?" Chris asked. Dylan honestly had no idea, and hadn't expected to get the answer correct anyway. And even if he had, Jason's buzzer sounded too quickly for anyone else to even respond to the question.

"That would be the Chameleon." Jason answered.

"Right you are, sir. That's three hundred."

"Still getting stung over he—ow!" Harper suddenly said, followed by more shouting from Tak in the distance as he more than likely ran away from a pack of coyotes like his life depended on it while Chef laughed.

"Moving on." Chris continued. "Kyra!"

"Um…" she wasn't sure which to pick, but she was desperate to get in the game even if that meant taking a chance at the Wheel of Torture. "Ancient weaponry, five hundred."

"What brand of warriors is known for using a long range weapon known as a kpinga?" Chris asked.

"A what?" Kyra questioned before feeling a sudden surge of electricity from her buzzer.

"Oh, so sorry." Chris chuckled. "Awat is not correct. We'll come back to you once we get the correct answer."

"But that wasn't even my—" Kyra was cut off by another shock from her buzzer.

After half a minute of no one answering, Ayame sighed and casually hit her buzzer. "The African Zande warrior." She answered.

"Correct! That's another five hundred. You're way ahead of everyone… Now if Kyra would kindly come down and spin the…" Again, the crowd didn't finish his sentence. "Wheel of Torture!" Groaning, Kyra made her way down and spun the Wheel of Torture… she was not happy with what it landed on. "Listen to every song Miley Cyrus has ever recorded until you've heard them all or the game ends…" Chris read. "… which ever comes second." He added with a sinister chuckle.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Kyra glared at the camera, dark bags under her eyes, her face pale, and her left arm twitching. "He m-m-must d-die." She stuttered.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

As Chef strapped Kyra to a chair, placing headphones over her ears, and Chris continued on to the next question, calling Sakura to pick the next category, Ayame leaned over to Nicholas and quietly whispered to him. "We've got to end this quick." She said. "I'm tired of seeing Harper suffer over there."

"Well what do you suggest we do?" Nicholas asked.

"We need to get some of us to answer the next question wrong intentionally. Tell everyone but Jason the plan, then whoever gets picked next will pick something from the comics category and we'll all hit our buzzers frantically, getting the answer wrong on purpose. The quicker we get this down to one person the quicker we can get out of the Wheel of Torture."

"Why leave Jason in the dark?" Nicholas asked.

"Because we know he'll get any comic book question right."

"Excuse me." Sakura whispered to them, breaking into the conversation. "Couldn't help overhearing. Um, I'd like to add a little something to this plan of yours."

"Right you are! That's two hundred, TJ!" Chris said, not noticing as Nicholas and Sakura passed Ayame's plan to the others. "Now then… Ayame!"

Ayame held back a smirk. "Comics, four hundred." She said. Jason gave her a confused look as Chris began reading the question.

"Who is the current Sorcerer Supreme of Marvel Comics?" Chris asked.

Every buzzer went off, and fortunately Jason had taken the time to chuckle before hitting his, making him the last to get to answer. With answers ranging from Spiderman to Superman to Barney the Dinosaur to Your Mother the other contestants one by one eliminated themselves until only Jason and Penny were left… to everyone's amazement, Penny answered correctly. "That would be Brother Voodoo." Everyone gave her a curious glare. "Hey, you try entertaining yourself when the power goes out while babysitting and the only actual reading material in the house is said nine-year-old's comic books."

"Anyway, you're correct, Penny. Four Hundred." Chris said. "And just to piss you both off, I'll be picking the next category… right after we see the fate of our eliminated contestants! Time to spin the Wheel of Torture!"

~TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY~

Roughly ten minutes later, Steve had managed to get his camera working again without Chris noticing that he'd just failed to film the eliminated contestants spin the wheel. "And now it's time for… The Final Question." Chris said dramatically, ominous music going off in the background. "Penny, Jason, this question is worth five hundred points, so whoever gets it right wins. For the win, what is… my middle name?"

Penny was at a loss, but Jason just laughed and hit his buzzer. Knowing Chris, this was a trick question and he knew the answer.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Thank you, Big Bro. Your celebrity obsessed girlfriend actually came in handy for once… but seriously, dump her man. She's so annoying." Jason said to the camera.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"You don't have a middle name!" Jason announced.

Everyone was speechless, including Chris (I know, amazing). But in the end… "That's… actually the answer I was looking for. How'd you know it was a trick question… never mind. We have a winner! You've got immunity for tonight's elimination! Chef, go free the others from their torture and drag their unconscious bodies over to the bonfire. Someone is going home!"

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"So…" Chris said as he looked over the twelve teens sitting before him. "First bonfire ceremony in a while. And I would just like to say that you are all assholes. Why the hell were there eleven votes to boot me off the island?" Chris demanded, holding up a fist full of crumpled votes before tossing them in the fire.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"My little contribution to Ayame's plan." Sakura snickered.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Fortunately…" Chris continued. "One of you actually had the gall to vote for somebody. So, unfortunately, I will not be picking who goes home." He then produced a tray of marshmallows from under his podium. "Now, Jason, here's your immunity." He said, tossing Jason a marshmallow. "Sakura, TJ, Kyra, Tak, Harper, Payton, Dylan, Allister, and Nicholas, you're all safe too."

Ayame and Penny glanced at each other, worried that they'd be the one voted off. "Ayame, you actually got the most points in the challenge today. But Penny, you came in second. So the last marshmallow goes to… Ayame."

Ayame cheered and hugged Harper, who was covered in bee stings, as Chris tossed her the marshmallow. "Penny. The Dock of Shame awaits you." He said.

Reluctantly Penny got up but didn't leave right away. "Well, take care guys." She said. She shook hands with some and hugged others before walking off towards the docks. Chris and Steve followed after her shortly, leaving the last eleven at the bonfire alone.

"So who didn't stick to the plan?" Tak asked.

Harper raised his hand. "Sorry." He said. "I had some pretty bad stings in my ears so I couldn't hear when you said vote for Chris. If you would've waited five minutes for Chef to give me that ointment that made the swelling go down…"

"Don't beat yourself up." Nicholas said. "Someone would've gone anyway. You just prevented Chris from choosing."

"Yeah, there's a plus." TJ agreed.

"Still, too bad Penny's gone." Sakura said. "She was pretty cool."

"But a plausible threat to the rest of us." Kyra said. "She's a go getter. If we wouldn't have gotten rid of her she could've picked the rest of us off very quickly. And with little opposition, with the right alliance."

Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Are we actually discussing plotting against each other in the open?" Payton asked.


	24. McClain's Eleven Part 1

Episode 23: McClain's Eleven Part 1

"So eleven of them really voted for you?" Steve asked as he and Chris made their way down the Dock of Shame for the morning recap shoot. Chris had been telling the camera man about the previous bonfire ceremony, which Steve found absolutely hysterical. He knew, for a fact, that, had the kids included him in their plan, he could've gotten Chef and at least half the camera crew to join in on the fun. But hey, the fact that it was on camera was good enough.

"Yes, they actually did if you can believe it." Chris replied.

"Yes." Steve said flatly with a barely straight face that was struggling to hold back an amused grin.

"Dick." Chris said as Steve set up the camera. When everything was ready he turned on the camera and gave Chris the go ahead to begin. "Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… With Harper and Dylan back on the island, love was in the air as almost everyone left is now in a couple. Being the loving host that I am… I decided to ruin it with a challenge that had consequences so vomit inducing that it would suck the romance right out of the atmosphere. And I must say, I did a decent job of it too. The campers had their knowledge put to the test in a trivia challenge where when you get an answer wrong not only are you out of the game but you are subjected to an almost unspeakable act as selected by… the Wheel of Torture! And oh, what unspeakable horrors they were. Everything from bees to coyotes to Miley Cyrus… like I said, vomit inducing. Anyway, the challenge went pretty well until all but two contestants blew it on one question, leaving only Jason and Penny to decide who got invincibility that night. As it turned out, it was Jason who was the only one that knew I don't have a middle name and so he won invincibility. That night at the bonfire ceremony, I was less than pleased, however, because someone had the sick idea to try to boot me off the island and eleven people voted for me. Fortunately, one brave soul was daring enough to vote for penny who then took the long walk off the Dock of Shame.

"Today's challenge will be a combination of brains, brawn, and good old fashion common sense… oh! And there will be chocolate… lot's of it. Get ready to have some fun today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" the annual explosions went off along the beach and Steve shut off his camera.

"I think you're becoming a bit too… direct with your sadism, Chris." Steve admitted

"What makes you say that?" Chris asked.

"_I decided to ruin it with a challenge that had consequences so vomit inducing that it would suck the romance right out of the atmosphere_." Steve quoted from Chris's previous speech.

"Your point?"

~LATER~

"Something's wrong here…" Ayame said as she, Harper, Dylan, Allister, and Nicholas entered the mess hall. Nothing smelt like it was burning, there wasn't any smoke coming from Chef's kitchen, and Chef was standing in the window where he usually served food, but instead of food he had a welders torch in hand and he was welding something above his head. "Hey, Chef, where's the grub?" Ayame asked. Chef turned off his torch and took off his goggles, glaring down at the five teens before him. He then reached up, grabbed whatever he had been welding, and slammed down a miniature garage door, blocking the window.

"That was weird." Dylan said.

The five quietly cracked open the door to the kitchen and looked inside. What they found was, indeed, the definition of weird. Chef was now welding a second garage door over the window on the other side of the kitchen. Two German Shepards lay next to his fridge, chained to the door which looked like it had been reinforced. Sitting on the floor around the border of the room were what looked to be laser pointers. On the table was a ladder that would allow Chef to reach the roof, everything Chef might need to make a third garage door, and a few unopened boxes which contained security systems. The five teens backed away slowly and took a seat at the nearest table.

"Is it just me, or does it look like he's getting ready to prevent a robbery?" Nicholas asked.

"Who's getting robbed?" Jason asked as he, Sakura, TJ, Kyra, Tak, and Payton, having just entered the building, made their way over to the table.

"From the looks of it, Chef." Allister said.

"He's blocking the windows, he's got trip lasers all around the room, he's got at least three security systems ready to install, he's even got a couple dogs chained to his fridge door which has been reinforced, by the way." Harper explained.

"Sounds like whatever he's trying to protect is in his fridge." Kyra said.

"Maybe we should try and find out what it is." Sakura suggested jokingly.

"With all the trouble he's going to trying to keep people out, I'd rather not." Payton said.

It was at that moment that Chef kicked open the kitchen door, a tray full of plates of food in his arms, and walked over to the table. He set a plate down in front of each of the eleven campers, their eyes widening in surprise when the saw the eggs, bacon, hash browns, sausage, and biscuits in front of them. "You all'd betta enjoy this." Chef growled before going back to the kitchen, slamming to door behind him.

After a brief but very awkward silence, Ayame finally spoke. "Something is very wrong here."

"Hey, we've got a real breakfast for once." Tak said, taking his fork and stabbing it into one of his sausages. "I'm not complaining." He said before biting into it. The others quickly followed his example and dug into their plates, thoroughly enjoying their first real meal in weeks.

After breakfast the campers went off to enjoy what time they had before Chris called them to begin the challenge. But while most went to the beach, some actually getting in the water while the others started up a game of ultimate Frisbee, Harper went off on his own, disappearing for a few hours.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Yes, Harper and I have calmed down since the last challenge day." Ayame admitted to the camera. "As much as I enjoyed kissing him like that, we had to put a stop to it. I think the lack of oxygen was starting to get to us... I accidentally called him Francis… and he got really dizzy after one session."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Meanwhile, Chris was still in the Mess Hall, talking on his cell phone with the other producers who were back in Toronto. "Okay, I agree that we have to get off this island in season three. I'm all for that. But tell Leonard that there's no way we're doing some kind of musical season. That would be stupid and ratings would drop like rocks. I mean, look at what's happening to American Idle… Well tell Leonard we're not doing a dancing theme either! I want good ideas, people!... Now a road trip theme I could get behind… Superheroes? How in the hell would we do a superhero reality show?... What do you mean they're real?... Interesting…"

At that point Chef stepped out of the kitchen, closing the door behind him and making sure that it was securely shut. "Hey, Chris. Everything's good to go." He called over to the TV host.

"I gotta go, guys. Keep up with the good ideas. And tell Leonard that if he suggests one more crap idea he's off the team like that." He promptly snapped his fingers before hanging up. "Everything's locked up nice and tight, Chef? No one's getting in there?"

"Chris, I will personally cook a five star meal for anyone who manages to get into that fridge." Chef said.

"Well if you're that confident there shouldn't be a winner at all today!"

Chef grinned. "I'd put money on it."

~BOAT HOUSE~

"Man this place seems like a freaking magic satchel." Harper said as he took another look around the boat house. "Look hard enough and you'll find anything you could ever need for any situation… speaking of which, what am I missing?" Having been able to put two and two together, Harper was gearing up for what was assured to be one tough but ultimately fulfilling challenge. "Let's see… rope, pulley, wire cutters, mirrors, welder's torch… what am I missing?"

"I don't know what you're missing, but I'm missing any idea of what you're getting ready for."

Harper looked over his shoulder, finding Jason standing in the boat house doorway. "Oh, hey, man." He said. "I'm getting ready for the challenge."

"But Chris hasn't even told us what it is yet."

"Ignorance is bliss, I suppose… as is a lack of common sense which everyone else seems to be having at the moment."

"Are you saying I'm stupid?"

"No, no, maybe, slightly, a little bit, yes, no, no…" Harper rambled.

"Are you calling everyone else stupid too?"

"No, no, maybe, slightly, a little bit, yes, no, no…"

"Does that include Ayame?"

"No, no, maybe, sligh—Hey! Don't even try pulling that!" Harper snapped, catching himself before falling into Jason's trap.

"Too late. Now I have blackmail." Jason snickered, walking over to Harper and looking over his shoulder at the items he was working with. "So, why don't you clue me in on what you're doing here and I won't tell Ayame you called her stupid."

"When did you become such a devious little—"

"The games already half over man. Gotta start playing it sometime." Jason explained. "Nothing personal. Now start talking."

Harper rolled his eyes, but made sure to keep Jason's words in mind. "Clearly today's challenge has something to do with breaking into Chef's fridge without setting off any of his security. And based on what I've seen I think I've just about got everything I need to pull that off… I just need to think of a way to get around the dogs and open the fridge."

"Cool. Well, good luck with that. I've got to get to work my own plan." Jason said as he turned to leave the boat house, but before he could even step outside he stopped dead in his tracks as Chris's ever arrogant voice came over the loud speakers.

"Attention campers. Please report to the Mess Hall for your briefing on today's challenge. That is all…" There was a pause and the campers assumed that Chris had turned off the microphone. But then there was a long, loud, repulsive, and all too recognizable farting sound coming from the loud speakers. "Ahh…" Chris's voice sighed. "Talk about bad timing. Hits me right when I get on the mic and I can barely hold it in long enough to get off."

"Uh, Chris, I think the mic's still on." They heard Chef say.

"Oh shi—" and that's when it cut off.

Chris couldn't help but glare at the snickering campers as they approached the Mess Hall door a few minutes later. "First off…" he said, once everyone had arrived, "I would like to explain what you heard over the loud speakers earlier… that wasn't me, that was Steve doing an impression of me." He lied. "Now onto the challenge. You all undoubtedly noticed this morning that Chef was doing some… remodeling."

"You mean the armor he's adding to the kitchen?" TJ joked. "Yeah, we noticed."

"Indeed." Chris agreed. "So, today's challenge is… break into Chef's fridge and claim your reword! I'm pretty sure that you've all seen what you're going up against. But I'm also fairly sure that none of you know what's in the fridge. Whoever wins will get immunity at tonight's bonfire ceremony as well as… a year's supply of chocolate… You may begin, you have six hours."

"Chocolate?" Payton questioned, sounding a bit irritated. "Did you say chocolate?"

"Yes I did." Chris answered with a smug grin. "There's a lot of it… a years worth… in Chef's fridge… right now."

"Chocolate… **chocolate… CHOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAATE!**" Out of nowhere Payton started sprinting at the door to Chef's kitchen, arms up in the air like a madman and almost foaming at the mouth. "**CHOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAATE!**" she shouted as she kicked in the door and ran inside, setting off every alarm and alerting both dogs.

"Oh crud." Tak grumbled. "I'm coming, Baby! **LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIINS**!" he shouted as he ran in after her, coming back only seconds later with the girl, still acting crazy, in his arms. "I think we're going to have to sit this one out, Chris." He said as he walked out the door.

Chris just shrugged. "Suit yourself.

"**CHOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAATE!**" they heard Payton shout from outside.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"What the hell just happened?" Allister questioned.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Anyone else feel like making a fool of themselves?" Chris asked, turning to the other nine competitors. "No? Okay then, get going. You've already wasted five minutes." And immediately, everyone scattered, running off to prepare for the challenge, except for Harper who casually walked out of the Mess Hall and headed back to the boat house. When he arrived he found Jason running out with a large burlap sack over his shoulder. Concerned, he went inside to check on his supplies.

"That son of a…"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I know this is a competition and all but… You can't go around stabbing your friends in the back, man." Harper growled to the camera. "Gotta start playing the game some time… Your words, right? You should've remembered them."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Harper? You in here?" Ayame called as she stepped into the boat house.

"Back here." Harper called from behind a stack of crates. Unfortunately, Harper's magic satchel had run out of magic and he now couldn't find any duplicates of what Jason had stolen. "He's gonna get it for this…" he grumbled.

"Who's going to get what?" Ayame asked after finally finding her boyfriend. She knelt down next and watched him as he looked down to the ground, his hand on his chin as he contemplated how to get back at the one who had wronged him.

"Jason." He answered. "Hey, there are eleven of us here, right?"

"Yeah."

He looked over to her. "Who do you think we could make a temporary alliance with?"

"You're planning some devious, conniving plot against Jason!" Ayame announced, suddenly coming to the realization. She then donned a mischievous grin and leaned closer to him. "I've never seen this side of you before… I like it…" She wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled into the back of his neck. "Kinda sexy."

Harper chuckled and smiled, turning his head to meet her lips. Breaking apart a few seconds later Harper grinned and stood, Ayame, still wrapped around him, coming along. "This is going to be fun." Harper chuckled.

"So is the after party." Ayame giggled.

The grin was ripped from Harper's face and replaced with a fierce red blush. "After party?" he questioned, having a good idea of what his girlfriend meant.

It was then that he lost his balance and they both fell into the water.

~LATER~

"All right. Let's see if this crazy contraption works."

"Where the hell did you get all the stuff to make this, Dylan?" Allister questioned.

"The Acme corporation, where else?" Dylan answered.

"You mean the place where Wile E. Coyote gets all his gadgets?"

"The one and the same."

Allister sighed, seeing the coming results. "Well, I'll give them this… they deliver quickly."

"Indeed." Dylan agreed.

"So what exactly does this thing do?"

Dylan went on to explain the mechanics of his Looney Toons-esque contraption. It was simple enough: a bowling ball, a catapult, a ramp, rocket propelled roller skates, a gas mask, and, just to top things off, one of those transparent shields that cops use to protect themselves during a riot… just in case of any surprises Chef might've left in the fridge. First, Dylan would launch from the catapult which would fly through the air and crash through the steel barrier which Chef had put in place to keep people from coming in the window in the roof. Then, to take care of the dogs, the ball would release a special gas which would render the canines unconscious. Then, wearing the gas mask, wielding the riot shield, and using the rocket skates, Dylan would fly off the ramp and into the hole that the bowling ball had just made. From there it was just a matter of opening the fridge and claiming his prize.

"Dear god, I'm in love with a psychotic moron." Dylan groaned, kneading his temples.

"But you do love me." Dylan grinned at his boyfriend as he loaded the bowling ball into the catapult, which was a lot more difficult that it could've been considering Dylan already had the skates on.

"Difficult as that may be at times, yes I do." Allister said.

"That's what I thought." Dylan said, pleased with the other boy's answer. "See you on the other side." And with that he set off the catapult, launching the bowling ball at the Mess Hall. After hearing the ensuing crash, Dylan skated over to his position behind the ramp and activated the rockets. As they prepared to fire, he got into a typical Superman flying pose and shouted, "Too infinity… And beyond!" as he took off…

The next thing he knew his face was planted against the shingles of the communal washroom's roof.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Allister sat in the confessional, struggling to hold back a hardy belly laugh. "Sorry, Wile E… No Roadrunner tonight." He said. The camera cut just as he lost control and started laughing hysterically.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Dylan groaned as he began rolling off the roof, unconscious of the world around him except for the pain in his face. But the thud from his landing on the ground brought him back to reality, even if only briefly. It was long enough for him to see that the bowling ball had broken through the top of the septic tank... it was the stench from the tank rather than the gas from the ball, thanks to his gas mask, which knocked him out.

It was only half a minute later that Chris, Chef, and a few of the other campers, obviously including Allister, came running. Chef gave him a quick examination and then let out a sigh of relief. "Quite a few bruises, a nasty cut on his forehead, probably need stitches, and one hell of a nose bleed, but otherwise he'll live."

While the other campers were still quite concerned, Dylan just chuckled and knelt down next to his boy. "Normally I'd punish you for being such an idiot… but I think you've learned your lesson."

"I'm seein' birds… all, tweet, tweet." Dylan rambled.

"Might wanna add mild to severe concussion to the list." Chef said. "TJ, Nicholas, help me and Allister get him to the infirmary."

~LATER~

One hour down, two unsuccessful attempts and one withdrawal in order to keep one of the unsuccessful in check. Time for try number three.

Unlike Dylan, whose Wile E. Coyote plan impractical and implausible, or Payton, whose chocolate addiction had almost sent her on a rampage the likes of which the Hulk had never seen, Kyra's plan was well thought out, clever, and, above all else, would draw very little, if any, attention. Thanks to her martial arts training, she was confident that she could take out the dogs before they so much as barked and she was sure she could get through the floors laser grid without a problem. The only foreseeable problem was getting into the kitchen and, perhaps, opening the fridge… but she had a plan for that, too.

Kyra quietly sidled along the side of the girl's cabin. She looked around the corner as she came up to the porch, spying Tak through the railing. He was leaning against one of the doors, effectively trapping Payton inside.

"C'mon, Tak! Please let me out." Payton pleaded from inside. "I'm not going to act crazy anymore."

"Sorry Payton." Tak said firmly. "Much as I hate doing this, you're staying in there."

"Oh come on! Please?" Payton begged. "I'll let you get to second base!"

"No you wouldn't." Tak said.

"Damn. Called my bluff."

"Face it, Payton. This is for your own safety, as well as my own, the others, and the entire crew. If I let you out you will tear this place to the ground to feed your addiction. Sorry you have to do this cold turkey, but it's only until the challenge is over."

Payton groaned. "I know… Normally I'm fine when my chocolate supply is moderated… but just the thought of a years supply… it's so mouth watering… I could probably eat it all in less than a week!"

"And you'd be vomiting for months." Tak added.

"Yeah." Payton agreed. "I guess I should be thanking you for this."

Tak smirked. "It's okay, Baby… but I'm still not letting you out."

"Damn it!"

Now confident that she had the element of surprise, Kyra quietly went back behind the cabin and grabbed her secret weapon: a boom box she'd borrowed from Steve the Camera Guy. She quietly crept back along the wall and set the boom box down by the porch. Hitting the play button on the tape deck, a sound began to play that would drive Tak to the brink of insanity: Willie Nelson's "On the Road Again."

As soon as he heard the strums of the acoustic guitar and the voice of the elderly man beginning to sing, Tak clutched his hands over his ears and fell onto his side, almost in the fetal position. "It's like someone is stabbing me in the ear with kryptonite!" he shrieked as Kyra casually walked onto the porch and lightly kicked him out of the way. Seeing what she was about to do, he panicked. "Don't!"

But it was too late. Kyra opened the cabin door. And then…

"**CHOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAATE!**"

Payton, once again crazed, ran out of the cabin screaming like a banshee towards the Mess Hall. She would've ripped Kyra in half is she hadn't been standing off to the side. Pleased with her work, Kyra looked down to Tak who was still suffering from the sound of country music. "You fool…" he groaned. "You've doomed us all!"

"No, just Chef's kitchen." She said, winking at him. "What I have done, however, is assured my victory."

Suddenly there was a loud thud followed by another, "**CHOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAATE!**"

"And speaking of victory, time to claim my winnings." Kyra said. "And sorry about the country music." She called over her should as she ran off. "But it was the only thing I knew would get you out of my way!"

"Oh, she is going to get it for this…" Tak groaned as he painstakingly pulled his hands from his ears and began to crawl towards the boom box in hopes of shutting it off.

When Kyra arrived at the Mess Hall, she was impressed, but not surprised, that the front doors had been ripped off their hinges. From inside she could hear Chef struggling to hold Payton back. "**CHOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAATE!**"

"None for you, girly!"

Kyra quickly slipped inside and hid under a table as she watched Chef drag Payton outside by the collar of her shirt. Once he was gone she made her way into the kitchen, again impressed that Payton had managed not only kick the door open, but leave a pretty decent crack in it. The alarm already set off by Payton, she didn't bother avoiding the laser grid and made her way over to the fridge where the dogs barked, ready to tear her apart. As much as it pained her to do so, knock both dogs unconscious with a few well placed kicks. But when she actually got close enough to do so, a metal cage dropped down from the ceiling, trapping her. "Should've seen this coming." Kyra groaned, slumping her shoulders.

"Definitely." Kyra turned her attention to the doorway, finding Chef standing there. "I've gotta admit, having Payton do your dirty work was pretty clever."

"Thanks." Kyra said. "But any idiot could've thought of that."

"But most of the idiots didn't." Chef pointed out. "And if they try it now, I'll be expecting it."

"Yeah, yeah, just get me out of this thing." Kyra said. "I need to go cuddle with TJ so he can tell me I did my best while I sulk."

Chef walked over to the cage and undid a clamp on one corner, allowing one side to swing open. He then gestured towards the exit. "There's the door."

"Thank you." Kyra said as she left.

Once Chef was confident she was out of ear shot, he began resetting his trap, planning to fix the doors after he'd finished that. "Didn't expect these kids to be this crafty… I'll have to remember that in the future."

* * *

(a/n) I am loving this challenge so far. Is good fun! Problem is, thinking of several different ways to break into a vault isn't easy... anyone have suggestions for the remaining campers (other than the ones I've already set up, of course)? And yes, the way I characterize Payton's chocolate addiction (my addition to the character, so sorry if you disaprove, Just Another Fanatic) is a reference to a Spongebob episode (the only episode of that unbearable series Im a fan of, specifically of screaming chocolate guy). also, Taks line when he goes to save/subdue Payton is an obvious reference to an internet meme. if you haven't seen it, just type in "Leeroy Jenkins" on Youtube and pick a video.

and before anyone says anything, I had the idea to reference Oceans Eleven in this fic long before the bank heist episode of TDA (great minds think alike I suppose). Heck, I probably concieved the idea right around the time that episode was being produced. remember, this series is an alternate reality where TDD is season 2 of the TD series rather than TDA.


	25. McClain's Eleven Part 2

Episode 24: McClain's Eleven Part 2

"So, what's your crazy plan to get into Chef's fridge?" Kyra asked. She and TJ were in the boy's cabin lying on his bed, TJ spooning behind her with one arm wrapped around her. Kyra had failed in her attempt to break into Chef's fridge and, while she'd claimed she needed to cuddle with TJ to help her get over her loss, they both knew it was because she just liked being close to him.

"Oh, my plan is brilliant." TJ said confidently.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Why do I get the feeling that when he says _brilliant_ he should be saying _ridiculous_?" Kyra asked herself. She sighed and then looked directly at the camera. "Well… this might be good for a laugh at least."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Okay, let's see it then." Kyra suggested, pulling TJ's arm off of her as she sat up.

"What?" TJ questioned, pushing himself up to sit next to her.

"Let's see your brilliant plan in action" Kyra reiterated. "It should be quite entertaining."

TJ chuckled. "You think I'm going to do something stupid that has little to no chance of getting me the win, don't you?" he asked. Kyra had to stop herself from nodding, but couldn't bring herself to shake her head, much less say no. "Okay then, let's make this interesting."

"Do you remember what happened last time we bet on a challenge?" Kyra reminded him.

"Yes. You lost miserably but I let you off the hook in exchange for a kiss." TJ answered.

"Good point. Fine, I'll take your bet. If you fail…" she paused to think about her wager. After the last time they'd done this she wasn't about to underestimate him. She either had to scare him out of this now or make a wager that would blow his mind. Then it hit her and she grinned. "If you fail, you have to go through the next challenge in just your underwear."

TJ grinned. "Okay, I'll see your PG-13 and raise you borderline X rated. If I win, we go skinny dipping tonight."

TJ had to be extremely confident if he was willing to be that bold. Kyra was almost having second thoughts now. But she wasn't about to back down. No, she was going to up the stakes. "If you're going to be that bold then I've got a little amendment to make to my wager. You still have to go through the next challenge in just your underwear… but also, we'll be going swimming tonight regardless of who wins… the difference being that, if you fail this challenge, I keep my suit on but you don't."

TJ grinned mischievously. "Done."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I can't lose." Kyra said to the camera. "The only difference is that if he wins he gets to ogle me too."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

They kissed to seal the deal.

Not much later Kyra sat on the steps of the boy's cabin as she watched TJ walk towards the Mess Hall as if he weren't up to anything. Out of the corner of her eye Kyra noticed Ayame walking towards her. "What's up, Kyra?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing." Kyra chuckled. "I'm just about to win a preview of what I hope to be my future bachelorette party."

"Okay…" Ayame said as she sat down next to the blond. "I want all the details but first I need you to agree to help me and Harper with something?"

"And what would that be?" Kyra inquired.

"Oh nothing… just a little payback."

Meanwhile, TJ walked straight up to the Mess Hall, fully aware that Chef was waiting just inside the door to protect his fridge. "Hey, Chef." He said casually as he walked inside. The extent of how nonchalant TJ was being had peaked Chef's interest and he decided to let TJ go… at least for a minute.

TJ walked up to the door to Chef's kitchen. He stood there for a moment, trying to figure out the possible combination to the security pad next to the door. "Could it be that simple?" he asked himself. He then shrugged and reached his hand towards the buttons on the pad. "Two, four, three, three." He then pressed pound and the door unlocked.

"How'd you figure out the code?" Chef demanded.

"There are letters on the buttons, like a phone." TJ pointed out. "That combination spells out your name! I would've tried something more difficult, like your social security number." With that he pushed open the door to the kitchen. He expected Chef to come after him, but he didn't. He wasn't an idiot. Chef had set a layered security system. If one security measure didn't get an intruder, another definitely would. That, and Chef was only supposed to come if an alarm was tripped or a dog started barking.

TJ stepped inside the kitchen but immediately stopped, spotting the laser grid. He then heard growling coming from the dogs. Both of the German Shepards were almost foaming at the mother and TJ was suddenly glad they were chained to the fridge. Just as they were about to go off into a barking frenzy TJ raised one hand into the air and the quieted down, as if waiting for something. He then snapped his fingers… music began to play and a disembodied voice began to sing.

"_What is love?… baby don't hurt me… don't hurt me… no more…"_

TJ started bobbing his head to the right slightly in time with the beat, the dogs quickly following suit. Being careful not to hit a laser, TJ moved over to the dogs and unchained them. _"What is love?"_

By now Chris had joined Chef in the Mess Hall, curious as to what the music was all about. Just as he took his place next to Chef, however, TJ drove by in a black BMW one dog in the passenger's seat and the other in the back, all three still head bobbing. _"I don't know, with you not there. I give you my love but you don't care. So what is right, what is wrong? Give me a sign… What is love?"_

As they drove out of the Mess Hall, Chris turned to Chef. "Where'd they get the car?" he asked.

"How the hell'd they get it in my kitchen?" Chef asked, completely flabbergasted.

Then something dawned on Chris. "Hey, is there a big gaping hole in the wall where the door used to be?"

"No."

"Then how'd he get the car out?"

At that point Chef couldn't take it anymore. He dropped to his knees, lifted his hands into the air, and looked straight up at the ceiling. "**DAMN YOU, CARTOON PHYSICS!**"

"You're being a little melodramatic, man." Chris pointed out.

"Right, sorry."

~LATER~

Sakura waited patiently on the deck of the girl's cabin, waiting patiently for Chef to abandon his post at the door of the Mess Hall. This wasn't pivotal to her plan, but it made it a lot easier. Like Kyra, Sakura's plan was simply to walk in and take her prize, but she had a few distinct advantages that Kyra didn't have.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I honestly owe TJ a huge favor." Sakura said to the camera. "Getting rid of the dogs made my life a whole lot easier. I also happened to overhear what the security code was, and I know to avoid the falling cage. I'm all set… still, I can't help but wonder where TJ and those dogs are…"

~ROXBURY NIGHT CLUB~

At the bar of the Roxbury night club stands TJ and the two German Shepards. As _What is Love_ continues to play from seemingly nowhere they slowly begin to turn around, all three heads continuing to bob. A woman walks by and TJ walks over. Happily complying, TJ and the woman begin to dance, he grinding his pelvis into her rear. However, when the dogs come over and begin grinding/bumping into her as well she freaks out and runs off. TJ and the dogs continue dancing without her, as if they're the kings of the party, until security comes and throws them out of the club.

~WAWANAKWA ISLAND~

After nearly a half hour, Sakura spotted Chef heading off towards the communal washroom. He'd be gone at least five minutes, giving her plenty of time to break into the fridge and grab her immunity. She wasn't sure what she'd do with all that chocolate, but she began to contemplate this as she made her way over to the Mess Hall. Once inside the punched in the code to the security system, avoided the laser grid on the kitchen floor, gracefully dodged the falling cage that had captured Kyra, and made her way to the fridge.

Sakura stopped to get a good look at the fridge, making sure there wasn't some sort of trap set to go off when it was opened. There wasn't so much as a padlock on it. It just looked a bit heavier than usual, almost like a cross between a regular fridge door and the door to a bank vault. Cautiously, Sakura reached forward and pulled it open, not surprised that it was heavier than usual. But when she saw what was on the other side her jaw dropped.

She was looking into a cave… inside of Chef's refrigerator. She slowly stepped inside to get a better look, wanting to make sure she wasn't seeing things. When she heard a splash, she looked down to find herself stepping in a puddle. What really surprised her, however, was that her usual red wedges had been replaced with heavy work boots. The rest of her outfit had changed as well: she now wore heavy, dark jeans and a leather jacket. There was also a bullwhip tied to her belt and a fedora sitting on her head. "I don't know what this is, Chef…" she muttered to herself. "… but I'll play along."

She began moving further into the cave, watching every step she took. When things got too dark she pulled a lighter from her pocket and lit it. When her eyes adjusted to the light, however, she realized she was standing on a pressure plate. As poison tipped darts started shooting from the walls of the cave she sprinted forward, the projectiles barely missing her. As she rounded a corner, however, the sound of flying darts stopped as she stepped on another pressure plate. A rumbling started from deep within the cave. "Oh crud." Sakura complained as she began a second race for dear life.

An enormous bolder dropped down from the cave roof and began chasing her around every turn. This chase seemed to go on forever, but as she rounded one last corner she spotted a light at the end of the tunnel. Excited by this, she failed to notice yet another pressure plate and as she stepped on it a stone door began to lower to block her exit. At the same time, she noticed a large pit just in front of the closing exit. Thinking quickly, Sakura pulled her bullwhip from her belt and whipped it up, wrapping the end around a spire hanging from the cave roof. She swung over the pit as the bolder crashed down into it and she just barely made it under the descending stone door. She sighed in relief, now safely on the other side, only to realize her hat was now missing. She quickly reached back under the stone slab and grabbed the fedora, pulling it back just as her hand was about to be crushed.

Sakura chuckled to herself as she dusted off the hat and replaced it on her head. She then turned into this new chamber of the cave, lit by a large hole in the roof leading to the outside, and spotted what she'd been looking for. On an altar at the center of the chamber sat a golden totem made by the native people. She moved over to her prize and picked it up. "Now, let's get you to a museum."

~WHAT REALLY HAPPENED~

Sakura lay on the floor of Chef's kitchen, Chef, Chris, and Jason kneeling over her. Sakura was mumbling incomprehensibly, barely making legible words much less any sense. "Chef, what the hell did you do to my girlfriend?" Jason demanded.

"She was gassed with a hallucinogen when she opened the fridge." Chef explained. "She'll be fine once she gets off the high."

"This stuff isn't addictive, is it?" Jason questioned.

"No more than coffee. She just needs to rest for a few hours and she'll be fine."

Jason nodded, still a little wary of Chef, and picked Sakura up. Cradling her in his arms, he left the Mess Hall and headed to the girl's cabin to put Sakura to bed. It was only then that Chris asked what was on his mind. "Chef, is there anymore of that stuff?"

"No, that was a one-off."

"I see… so where did you get it to begin with?"

"**DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!**" Chef shouted before backhanding Chris across the face.

~LATER~

"So then I'll fly off the ramp with the rocket skates right into Chef's kitchen and claim my prize!"

"No."

"What do you mean no?" Nicholas demanded.

"You're an idiot. That's the exact same plan Dylan had and he failed miserably." Allister pointed out. "What makes you think you could pull it off any better?"

"Because I'm that awesome."

"Allow me to go get a glass of milk so I can spew it out of my nose as I laugh hysterically."

"Funny."

"I thought so."

"What're you guys going on about?"

Allister and Nicholas looked over Harper as he approached them. The two had been sitting in the infirmary for a while now, watching Dylan as he occasionally faded in and out of consciousness and discussing Nicholas's plan to get into Chef's fridge. Allister, like Tak and Ayame, had decided not to participate in the challenge as he had more important things to do like make sure Dylan was okay. "Hey, Harper. We're trying to figure out a reasonable plan for Nicholas here. So far he's come up with Assassin's Creed rip off, diet coke and mintos rocket, and a carbon copy of the plan that landed Dylan in here."

"You know, I could help you out with this." Harper said. "But I'm going to need a little favor in return."

"Name it. I want that immunity, damn it." Nicholas demanded.

"The two of you and Dylan just need to vote for the same person I do at the bonfire ceremony tonight."

Nicholas and Allister glanced at each other, both thinking the same thing. "Yeah, I'm going to need to hear a robbery plan before I agree to that." Nicholas said.

Harper nodded. "Okay, here's what you do…"

~LATER~

"I seem to remember seeing something exactly like this on South Park and it did not end well." Nicholas grumbled as he stood at the edge of the thousand foot cliff, now clad in cardboard wings strapped to his arms, a helmet, and for some reason he had a tank of helium strapped to his back.

"Just do it man!" Harper encouraged from behind him.

"Yeah!" Allister agreed. "Make the greatest Youtube video ever!"

"Not helping." Harper scolded.

"Oh holy father who art in heaven, hollowed by thy name—" Nicholas started.

"Just go!" Harper shouted as he pushed Nicholas over the edge. "And pull the red cord!"

As soon as these words registered with Nicholas he pulled the red cord, activating the helium tank on his back. A balloon on top of the tank began to inflate, quickly becoming massive enough to suspend Nicholas's wait in mid air. When he realized he was no longer falling, Nicholas opened his eyes to figure out what was going on. "Holy… this is awesome!"

Upon realizing what the cardboard wings were for, Nicholas started flapping his arms to control his movements. "Harper you're a god damn genius!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"They call me Braino." Harper admitted to the camera.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Nicholas managed to make it half way to Chef's fridge before things went sour. A sudden gust of wind caught the balloon and blew his off course, straight into the woods. Suddenly Nicholas heard a loud pop and started to fall, but stopped with a sudden jerk. He looked up to find that the shattered remains of his balloon had managed to catch onto a large tree branch and keep his suspended.

Harper and Allister watched the whole thing, but the tree line had blocked their view of Nicholas's fate. It was then that something occurred to Allister. "How was that supposed to get him into Chef's fridge?" he asked.

Harper shrugged. "I just thought it would be awesome."

"And awesome it was." Allister agreed.

~LATER~

Nine down. Time to strike. Jason and Harper were the only ones left in the game (unless TJ returned from wherever he'd taken the dogs was, that is).

~ANIMAL SHELTER~

TJ and the two dogs stood at the front desk of the local animal shelter, still head bobbing as _What is Love_ continued to play from seemingly nowhere. The three slowly turned around and strutted into the next room, filled with dogs in cages, in time with the music. TJ found two lovely looking female German Shepards, also bobbing their heads in time with the music, and let them out of their cages. The four dogs began dancing together while TJ stood in the corner with the lady from the front desk, both nodding in approval. Suddenly one of Chef's dogs tried to mount one of the females and the lady from the front desk hat to smack him on the nose to get him off. TJ and Chef's dogs booked it out of their as fast as their legs would take them.

~WAWANAKWA ISLAND~

Finally having managed to climb onto the kitchen roof, Jason pulled out the tools he'd stolen from Harper. Using the welder's torch he began cutting through the steel that Chef had blocked the sun roof with. Stopping just short of making a complete circle, Jason pulled up the metal like opening a can of soup. He then set up the rope and pulley and propelled down into the room, landing onto the table in the center. Moving over to the edge, he then placed two mirrors in the way of the laser grid, successfully blocking them without setting the alarms off. He did this with each laser until he reached the fridge. He reached out slowly, savoring the moment before he opened the fridge door and claimed his prize.

Then everything went black as Jason fell onto his back.

At that moment Harper punched in the security code to the door and stepped inside, finding Jason unconscious on the floor due to a spring loaded boxing glove. He'd known that Jason would do all the work for him.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Just goes to show you… don't mess with me." Harper said menacingly to the camera.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Harper didn't waste his time as he moved over the Chef's fridge and claimed his prize. Sure enough, it was filled with chocolate, but all he was interested in was the immunity pass which was hanging on the back of the door.

Just as he grabbed it Chris appeared out of nowhere. "We have a winner!" he announced. "Tell us, Harper… how'd you do it?"

"Um… I just walked in."

"Outstanding!" Chris said enthusiastically, not really paying attention to the boy. "So, as promised you get immunity from tonight's bonfire ceremony as well as a lifetime supply of chocolate!"

"**CHOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAATE!**"

"Everyone get the ***censor*** out of the way! She's gotten loose! **LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIINS**!"

Payton suddenly burst into the room, dove into the fridge and started shoving every Hersheys bar and chocolate bunny into her mouth. Tak arrived too late and grimaced at what he saw, as did everyone else in the room.

It was then that TJ walked in, followed by Chef. "I'm here to claim my prize." TJ said confidently.

"Too late." Chris said. "Harper already got it."

"Oh come on!" TJ complained. "I was only partying with Chef's dogs for like…" he checked the time on his phone. "Four hours."

"Sorry man." Chris said. "Now, I think we all need to get the hell out of here and let Payton do her thing before she rips someone's arm off."

"I agree." Harper said.

They cleared out of the kitchen, but Chef stayed behind a bit longer to drag Jason out with him. Then something dawned on him. "Wait a minute… I didn't rig a spring loaded boxing glove.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Harper sat in the confessional outhouse, whistling as if trying to prove his innocence which obviously gave him away. "Okay, so I did it." He admitted.

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Welcome, campers, to the twelfth bonfire ceremony of the season!" Chris announced as the eleven campers took their seats around the fire, with the exception of Payton who was now so bloated and nauseated from all the chocolate she'd eaten that she hay to lay down in front of Tak because she couldn't keep her balance. "After today, there will only be ten of you left and I would like to commend all of you that have made it this far… Except for the unlucky jerk-wad that gets sent home today. Shall we find out who said jerk-wad is?" He reached down to the tray of marshmallows on his podium and picked one up. "Harper, you get immunity for winning the challenge today." He tossed the fluff ball to Harper. "Sorry about Payton eating your other reward, by the way."

"It's cool." Harper said. "Dunno what I would've done with a years worth anyway."

"All right then, moving on… Tak and Ayame, you're safe!" Chris tossed their safety as Tak and TJ high-fived and Ayame hugged Harper. "As are Dylan, Allister, TJ, Kyra, and Sakura!"

Jason glanced over to the half conscious Payton laying on the ground in front of Tak's feet, and then over to Harper who gave him a sly smirk.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Sakura, do me a favor." Jason said to the camera. "Throw Harper into a vat of whatever Chef cooks for dinner tomorrow night… But after that leave him alone, he's still my bud."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"So… Jason… A little birdie tells me that you stole all of Harper's equipment for the challenge and yet he still managed to win. That's just plain sad, bro…" Chris continued. "But not as sad as the… unnerving condition Payton's chocolate addiction has gotten her into." Everyone glanced over to Payton as she abruptly sat up and leaned over one of the logs, vomiting behind it. Grimacing, Chris picked up the last marshmallow as Payton lay back down. "So, the last marshmallow goes to… Payton."

The marshmallow bounced off of Payton's forehead and into the fire as Jason stood up. He looked over to Harper again. "Sorry about what I did, man. Got a little carried away." He extended his hand out to the other boy. "No hard feelings?"

Harper chuckled and took his hand, shaking it firmly. "Nah. You've learned your lesson."

"You realize Sakura's still going to come after you whether we're square or not." Jason reminded him.

"Oh, don't worry. I've got plenty of protection." Harper said, gesturing towards Ayame.

"You're going to need more." Jason chuckled. With that he hugged Sakura, gave her a goodbye kiss, and headed towards the Dock of Shame, giving one last wave over his shoulder as he left.

"You know, I can't help but think that we forgot something." Chris said as he began pondering what that might be.

~THE WOODS~

"Hello? Anybody out there?" Nicholas called as he continued to dangle from the tree branch by his balloon. "I'm still stuck in a tree!" Suddenly the branch snapped and Nicholas went hurtling down to the ground, landing with a loud thud. "Okay… now I'm not… But I'm in extreme pain!"


	26. The Insane Race

(**A/N**) hello ladies and gentlemen. I present you with what Im certain is the longest chapter so far of Total Drama Dynamite. Now I planned this as a one part chapter, but I honestly did have an idea that I could make ti a 2 parter. I just wanted to get it out of the way, because Im really excited to get the next challenge started. Seriously though, I couldve made this a two parter. Its about 2300 words over my usual 4000 goal.

**on another note, Im warning you all now. **I got a little bold with some crude language in this chapter as part of a word game that Nicholas and Dylan play thoughout it. I understant that some of you may want to skip over this crude language so I set up a warning system. A sentence which contains said overly crude language will begin and end with a bold asterict (*****) (is that how you spell it?). when you see this warning sign feel free to skip over that sentence, you're not missing anything important.

* * *

Episode 25: The Insane Race

"So let me get this straight." Steve said as he and Chris made their way down the Dock of Shame for the morning recap shoot. "Because Payton's been held up in the confessional outhouse puking her guts out for the last three days, you're going to have the campers come to me for their confessionals?"

"Yep." Chris answered.

"Why me?"

"Because you're the only cameraman that the audience knows the name of." Chris explained.

Steve was going to argue, but stopped himself when he realized Chris was right. "God damn it." He muttered under his breath. He then turned towards the fourth wall and glared at the audience (in other words, he's looking at you). "You guys keep ruining things for me, you know that?"

"Hey!" Chris called from the end of the dock. "Less fourth wall breaking and more filming of my handsome face."

"Okay." Steve said as he began to set up the camera. "But you're going to need to take off that mask first."

"Funny."

"I thought so."

As Steve finished setting up the camera Chris fixed his hair one last time before putting on his signature grin. Steve gave him the thumbs-up as the red light flashed on and Chris began. "Last Time on Total Drama Dynamite… The eleven remaining campers were put through the most dangerous challenge of the season: breaking into Chef's fridge! Upon hearing that, along with immunity, the victor would also win a year's worth of chocolate Payton went completely insane and tried to get to the prize with her bare hands. I honestly thin she could've done it if it weren't for Tak dragging her out by the collar of her shirt. Meanwhile, Harper had been preparing for the challenge before it had even been announced (smart ass kid), but when he returned to the boathouse to get his supplies he found that it had all been stolen by Jason. This prompted him, along with Ayame, to ally themselves with Kyra, Allister, Dylan, and Nicholas (though he was ultimately no use) in an attempt to eliminate the backstabber. A couple of rocket skates, two partying dogs, and an Indiana Jones-esque hallucination later and Harper and Ayame were ultimately successful. Jason was sent home at that night's bonfire ceremony after reconciling with Harper.

"Today we're going to give our final ten campers a literal run for their money! No rules, no regulations, just a destination! Get ready for insanity the likes of which haven't been seen since the Rat Race today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" the annual explosions went off along the beach and Steve shut off his camera.

"The Rat Race? Really?" Steve questioned.

"What? You didn't like that movie?"

"It was okay. But nowhere near as funny as the Mask."

"Do you want to be fired?"

"I said _The Mask_, not _Son of the mask_." Steve retorted.

~LATER~

"You sir, are an abomination!"

"Well you sir, are an accident!"

"Okay, Nicholas totally won that."

"What the hell is going on?"

Nicholas, Dylan, and Allister looked over to Kyra and Ayame as they approached. The two girls had simply been chatting and walking along when they overheard Nicholas calling Dylan an accident. Concerned, they decided to go over to see if they could help resolve this dispute. But upon their arrival they found that there was no dispute and all three boys were laughing and having a good time.

"Word game." Allister explained. "These two are trading insults back and forth alphabetically. I decide who gets the point for the round and Nicholas just beat Dylan."

"And I'm about to do it again. You sir, are a biohazard!"

"Well you sir, are a butt pirate!"

"Oh! Dylan just obliterated you Nicholas." Allister laughed.

"Wouldn't he technically be the butt pirate?" Nicholas questioned.

"First off, I find that offensive." Dylan stated flatly. "And second off, screw you, I won that time."

"Fine, moving onto C."

By now Ayame and Kyra had started to move away, not wanting to hear anymore of their barbaric games. Unfortunately, they didn't move away quick enough. "You sir, are a cannibal!" Dylan said.

*****"Well you sir, are a cock mongoler!"***** Nicholas replied.

~STEVE CAM~

"Why do guys find vulgarity so funny?" Kyra asked, looking into Steve's camera as she leaned against a tree.

"Because defying the moral principles of older generations is both an affective form of rebellion and is quite amusing." Steve explained.

"You realize this is supposed to be the confessional cam, right?" Kyra questioned. "You're not really supposed to answer the questions."

~END STEVE CAM~

"So, Kyra…" Ayame said as if finally bringing up a topic that had been on her mind for a while. "You never did tell me how your night with TJ went after the last challenge." She looked over to the blond girl with a mischievous grin and one eyebrow cocked. "So?" Kyra's cheeks flushed red and she turned away from her friend. That was all the confirmation Ayame needed to know that something had happened. "Kyra, you naughty girl!"

"Nothing happened!" Kyra said, defending herself. "Nothing… that bad anyway…" she muttered under her breath.

Ayame grinned again. "Shouldn't have said that. Now you have to tell me everything."

"Or?"

"Or I'll assume something very nasty and spread a vicious rumor around the island."

"You are so evil." Kyra growled. "All right, so…"

"Attention campers!" came Chris's voice over the loud speakers, much to Kyra's relief. "It's time for today's humiliation-er-challenge. Please report to the Mess Hall for information. Also, the producers would like me to remind everyone that this is a family show and the cameras are always rolling here on the island. Clothing is to be kept on while in public areas, regardless of the time of day or any bet someone may have lost. On a personal note, I would like to remind the producers of the many times nudity was shown in the previous season. Does the little incident with Heather in episode twelve of season one ring any bells? That is all."

"Okay, now you **have** to tell me everything." Ayame said.

"Later." Kyra said. "Challenge time."

~MESS HALL~

"You sir, are a dumbass!"

*****"Well you sir, are a dildo!" *****

"Okay, props for creativity. Dylan wins."

"Damn it!" Nicholas complained as he, Dylan, and Allister, still playing their word game, walked into the Mess Hall. Everyone else had already arrived and Chris was leaning against the wall impatiently waiting for them to take their seats.

"Okay, now that everyone's here…" Chris began. "I wasn't informed of what today's challenge is until about an hour ago, and I didn't really have time to write a witty speech about it. So, I'm just going to go over the basics." He then reached into his back pocket, pulling out some note cards and started flipping through them, reading them off as he went. "Let's see… Race to a destination on the other side of the island, no rules or regulations, various transports set up for your use… insuring hilarity, first to arrive gets immunity. Everyone get that?" The campers nodded. "Cool. Here are your maps of the island. X marks the spot of course, and you may begin."

~STEVE CAM~

"Okay, so I know that Harper and Ayame were the ones that got Jason eliminated last time." Sakura admitted to Steve's camera. "So today I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure they don't win. If I can I'll get one of them eliminated too."

"Would you just get over it?" Steve demanded. "So your boyfriend got the boot. Big deal! It was bound to happen eventually. He actually lasted longer than most of the crew thought he would! In fact, I lost a bet for that very reason!"

After a brief uncomfortable silence, Sakura asked, "Are you done?"

"Yeah."

"Good." With that, Sakura proceeded to punch the camera.

~END STEVE CAM~

As the ten campers exited the Mess Hall, their sights fell upon, as Chris had promised, various transports that had been set up for their use. The boathouse had been converted into a train station. But only two cars sat in front of it: specifically a nineteenth century steam engine locomotive and a coal car. There was a hot air balloon sitting on the Dock of Shame, and finally an elephant with a basket strapped to its back stood on the beach.

Chris quickly scanned a few more note cards before speaking again. "So here's the deal. Those of you that take the train will have to continuously shovel coal into the fire to keep that beast going. For those of you who take the elephant, I am required to warn you that there are two more on the island; one male and one female. Now, Humphrey here is a bull and they get extremely aggressive during mating season… which it is, so try to avoid the other two."

"What about the balloon?" Tak asked.

"Well, unfortunately there's a strong wind which is blowing in the wrong direction, so you'll need to figure out a way to make it go the direction you want."

~STEVE CAM~

It's been three days since her little incident and Payton is still blowing chunks on a regular basis. I think that a balloon ride might be just the thing to relax her stomach." Tak said to Steve's camera.

"Or…" Steve suggested, "The heights you'll see in that balloon will be nauseating enough to pump the rest of that garbage out of her!"

Tak glared at him. "Okay, I wasn't going to be so blunt about it but that is a plausible Plan B."

~END STEVE CAM~

"What do you think, Baby?" Tak asked, putting his arm around Payton's shoulders. "Want to go for a nice, relaxing balloon ride?"

Suddenly Payton's cheeks puffed out and she hunched over, spewing vomit all over the ground… and Tak's feet. "Oh, I'm sorry Honey." She groaned. "Those weren't new shoes were they?"

Tak almost gave a very unwise answer, but came to his senses. "What do I care about shoes? I'm a guy, after all." Payton smiled weakly and gave a half hearted giggle as the two wrapped one arm each around each other and headed towards the balloon.

TJ and Kyra watched the two with smiles, thinking that, while a bit disgusting, it was still a romantic moment. "What do you think, TJ?" Kyra asked. "Want to join them up in the clouds?"

"I don't know…" TJ said, rubbing his chin. "Something tells me that I'd get along great with Pack E. Derm over there."

Kyra looked over to Humphrey the Elephant who was busy filling his trunk with lake water. When finished, he turned towards Chris and proceeded to spray him with enough force to knock Chris off his feet. This got a laugh out of everyone and persuaded Nicholas, Allister, and Dylan to choose Humphrey as their ride. "You sir, are an elephant!" Dylan said as he climbed into the basket.

"Well you sir, are a eunuch!" Nicholas retorted.

"Does that start with an E?" Dylan asked as he helped Allister climb in. "Because if it does I concede. That was pure genius!"

But I digress…

"Please?" Kyra pleaded to her boyfriend. "I think we need to talk."

"About what?" TJ questioned.

"You know… the other night." She reminded him. "I really thin that Tak and Payton are the only ones that either won't judge or will be too busy to listen in."

TJ understood completely and nodded in agreement. "C'mon." he said, taking her hand and leading the way. "Let's ride with them… but first, I've got the perfect plan to keep control of the balloon. All I need is about three hundred yards worth of fishing line." At that moment Chef walked by and casually tossed him a large spool of exactly what he needed. "Convenient!" TJ said excitedly.

With no room left on the balloon and only room for one on Humphrey, Harper and Ayame had no choice but to take the train. Sakura, bent on revenge, went with them. Because neither of the girls had any idea of how to work a train, they forcibly put Harper, the "smart one," at the controls while they shoveled coal. Unfortunately, Harper barely had any better idea than they did.

~STEVE CAM~

"At least I got the thing going." Harper said.

"You sat on the consol and accidentally hit the right button with your ass." Steve pointed out.

"Why do you have to bust chops?"

~END STEVE CAM~

And so the race began; Nicholas, Allister, and Dylan headed into the woods on Humphrey the Elephant's back, Harper, Ayame, and Sakura on the tracks of the locomotive, and Tak, Payton, TJ, and Kyra taking off in the hot air balloon.

As Humphrey tromped along the path that had been set for him to follow, his passengers were having a relaxing time continuing their word game on his back. "You sir, are a fairy." Nicholas said.

*****"Well you sir, are a fluffer."*** **Dylan retorted.

"A what now?" Nicholas questioned.

"Trust me, you don't want to know." Allister insisted. "I would explain, but… that's just so wrong and I think we're already pushing the envelope in this chapter."

"Fine, I'll concede" Nicholas said. "You sir, are gay!" Dylan and Allister just glared at him until Nicholas realized his mistake. "Right, you literally are… forgot about that… Can I have a redo?"

"No." Dylan said flatly. "You sir, are a gnome!"

"And Dylan wins again!" Allister announced.

"Moving on." Dylan continued. "You sir, are a hellion."

"Big words don't scare me. You sir, are horrendous."

"Bigger word wins." Allister decided. "Congrats Nick."

Unbeknownst to the three distracted boys, something had caught Humphrey's attention. A very… let's say arousing scent had crawled its way into the elephants trunk and he couldn't resist finding the female elephant that was making it. So, without a second thought, Humphrey moved off of the set path and into the woods in search of the potential mate. All the while the three boys were completely oblivious.

"You sir, are insufferable!"

"Well you sir, are an insect!"

"I'm… going to have to give that one to Dylan." Allister said. "I like big words."

~ELSEWHERE~

"Nice work, TJ." Tak complemented.

"Yeah." Kyra agreed, snaking an arm around her boyfriend's waist. "Tying fishing line to both the train and the elephant is a surefire way for us to find the destination, especially from this height."

Payton wanted to say something, but instead she leaned over the edge of the balloon basket and puked for the umpteenth time. At that very moment the balloon was hovering over the Mess Hall… directly over the chimney leading into Chef's kitchen in fact. In the kitchen Chef was preparing some stew for that night's dinner. He turned around to grab the lid to the pot for about half a second, but that was more than long enough for him to miss Payton's vomit shooting down the chimney and into the stew. Completely oblivious, Chef turned around and set the lid down onto the pan.

Back on the balloon, Tak immediately dropped the conversation and went over to comfort Payton. They both knew it was completely her fault for downing a years worth of chocolate in one day, but Payton was thankful that he never reminded her of it.

With their friends distracted, Kyra decided that now was the best time for her and TJ to have their talk. She pulled him into the opposite corner of the basket from Tak and Payton and spoke in a hushed voice. "So, what are you thinking?" she asked. TJ just gave her a confused look. "You can't be that stupid. You know exactly what I'm talking about." Still nothing. Keeping her calm, Kyra said as quietly as possible, "I let you get to second base the other day, you idiot."

"That's what you want to talk about?" TJ questioned. He was sure that she'd found out about the girl he'd danced with at the night club while he was gone with the dogs in the previous challenge. But hey, don't look a gift horse in the mouth as they say. "So what's the big deal? It's not like we had sex or anything." he asked.

"I don't know…" Kyra admitted. "I just keep thinking that everything's going to change for us now. I mean… I love you, TJ. I really do. You're the only boy that's ever gotten that far with me. And believe me, I enjoyed it, TJ. Probably about half as much as you did." She snickered as she spoke that last sentence. "But… I don't know…"

TJ caught Kyra off guard by pulling her into a tight hug and silencing her with a quick kiss. As quickly as he did this, however, he released his grip and placed his hands firmly on her shoulders. "Kyra, listen to me." He said, not bothering to lower his voice so Tak and Payton didn't hear. "I love you. I love everything about you. You're intelligent, you're funny, and you're beautiful, gorgeous in fact." That last comment made Kyra blush and smile. "I'm not going to think of you any differently just because you let me meet the girls. And I'm not going to deny it, you can not fathom how much I enjoyed that night but… it wasn't the act itself that I liked so much. It was the fact that you love and trust me enough to do that… that's what I liked. That's always what I'm going to like, no matter what we do. And if you object to anything I might try, just say so and I won't hesitate to stop. Do you understand that?"

Kyra couldn't stop the tears from welling up in her eyes as she buried her face in TJ's chest. "Yeah." She said. "I understand completely."

"I don't think you do." TJ said, wrapping his arms around her. "So I'm going to make you a deal. Nay! A pledge! Let's not do anything along those lines again until we're done with the show. And I mean when the show is over, not just when/if we both get eliminated. Sound good?"

Kyra just looked up and kissed him long and softly. When she pulled away, all she could say was, "A romantic gesture, but stupid on your part."

"How so?" TJ questioned. "We haven't gone past second base, so there's really nothing for me to be addicted to yet."

"Shut up." Kyra giggled.

"You can't deny my logic, woman." TJ chuckled back.

"True, but I can humiliate you." Kyra said, prompting TJ to quirk and eyebrow. Kyra grinned mischievously. "I believe you still have part of our bet to pay up on."

"Ah, crap. I was hoping you'd forgotten about that."

"Nope. Now strip down to the boxers, big boy."

Reluctantly, TJ obeyed and began shedding his clothes. "Oh, and one more point I'd like to make." He said as he pulled off his shirt. "I should be the one who's upset. You only let me meet the girls. I gave you full frontal nudity."

"Say what now?" Tak questioned, wide eyed as he held Payton's hair back as she vomited yet again. "You did… why are you taking your clothes off?" he demanded.

"I lost a bet, okay!"

"And what a sweet bet it is." Kyra chuckled. "Well, for me."

Once Tak had nothing left but his underwear, Kyra took his clothes and threw them over the side of the basket.

~ELSEWHERE~

"Okay, let's see if I've got this figured out." Harper muttered to himself as he stood at the controls of the locomotive. "That's the throttle, that chain is the whistle, that work's the breaks, that's the coffee machine, and that's the intercom. Sounds about right… well, I suppose nineteenth century locomotives didn't have intercoms, but whatever." It was then that Harper noticed that the train was going less than his ideal speed and he hit the intercom button. "Let's get working, ladies." He said. "At this pace we'll never be first to the final destination."

"Give us a break, Harper!" came Ayame's voice over the intercom. "We're just a couple of girls, you know!"

"Yeah, and you both have twice my muscle mass." Harper retorted. "Now step to it!"

Ayame sighed as she tossed another shovel full of coal into the fires of the engine. "As much as I love that boy, he can be a pain in the ass some times."

"Tell me about it." Sakura agreed. "Jason's the same way."

There was an awkward silence after Jason's name was mentioned. "Hey, sorry about getting Jason booted off, by the way." Ayame apologized. "But… he did kind of deserve it, what with stealing all of Harper's stuff and all."

"No, really, it's okay." Translation: _I'm going to get you for what you did, bitch!_ "It was bound to happen eventually, right?" Translation:_ We were going to go to the final two together!_ "It's not like I'll never see him again." Translation: _I will destroy you and your klutzy boyfriend!_

Ayame smiled. "I'm glad you understand."

"But I've gotta say, Harper's completely to blame for Jason's elimination."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm just saying that if Harper had taken better care of his supplies Jason' wouldn't have been tempted to take them for his own use." Sakura explained as she tossed a shovel full of coal.

Ayame planted the metal end of her shovel on the floor, holding the top like a walking stick. "Maybe if Jason were less of an ass he would've come up with his own plan instead of stealing Harpers." She retorted.

"Did you just call my boyfriend an ass?" Sakura demanded.

"What if I did?" Ayame questioned. "What are you gonna do, huh?"

"Okay, what's going on back here, ladies? We're at a snails pace now!" Was what Harper said as he came back to check on them, just in time to see Sakura's open hand lash out and strike Ayame's cheek. Harper rushed over to Ayame as she fell to her knees, clutching her hand to her face. "Sakura, what the hell?" Harper demanded as he wrapped his arms around Ayame. He was about to get up and go off on an enraged rant, but before he could he found the blade of Sakura's shovel in his face. Slowly he got to his feet and raised his hands into the air. "Sakura… this is crazy."

"Crazy?" Sakura questioned. "**THIS. IS. DRAMA!**" And she kicked him in the chest, sending him flying back into the coal car. With a satisfied grin Sakura watched him squirm, but this didn't last as she soon had to duck to avoid being decapitated by a shovel.

"All right, you're out of control Sakura!"Ayame snapped, pointing the shovel at the pink haired girl. Her cheek was beet red and she had anger in her eyes.

Sakura raised up her shovel at Ayame. "You brought this on yourselves…"

~ELSEWHERE~

"You sir, are a jerk."

"Well you sir, are a jigglo."

"Nicholas totally won that."

"Fine, moving on to K. You sir, are in the KKK."

"Didn't start with K." Allister said bluntly before Nicholas could respond. "You automatically lose this one."

"What are you talking about?" Dylan demanded. "That totally started with a K."

"No, your first word was _in_. The only words that don't count are _a_ and _the_." Allister explained. "You lose. Moving on."

The three boys were still completely unaware that Humphrey the Elephant was no longer on the trail, having veered off to follow the sent of the female elephant. The boys had heard Chris's warning about the other elephants, but upon being assured by Chef that Humphrey wouldn't stray from the path they'd all but forgotten about it. Unfortunately, the boys didn't know that there was one potent combination that could turn a bull elephant completely insane: the presence of a female and another bull in the same area.

"You sir, are a loser."

"Well you sir, are a leprechaun!"

"You weren't even trying that time, Nicholas."

"Fine then, how about this. You sir, are a Megalomaniac!"

"Well you sir, are a…"

Dylan was cut off as Humphrey sounded off an earsplitting trumpet, causing Nicholas to jump slightly and Allister to grab Dylan's hand. The three boys slowly crept their heads up over the edge of the basket, hoping to find what had disturbed Humphrey. It was then that they realized three things. First, Humphrey was no longer on their set trail. Second, there was a tuskless, and thus female, elephant about thirty yards away. And third, there was a second bull about a hundred yards behind the female and it was stamping one of its front feet… as was Humphrey. "This isn't going to end well." Nicholas said.

And it didn't.

Humphrey and the other bull charged at each other, the female standing off to the side to watch and Humphrey's three passengers hanging onto his basket for dear life. When the two beasts crashed together, tusks rattling and skulls bashing, Nicholas, Dylan, and Allister were thrown from the basket and onto the ground just behind Humphrey. Nicholas landed first with a thud, Allister landing on top of him and Dylan landing just a few feet away. Sore as the landing had made them, they quickly got to their feet as they realized that the second bull was winning the fight and pushing Humphrey back towards them. The three boys ran off into the woods, as being trampled by elephants wasn't on their to-do list for the day. But all the while…

"You sir are a nutcase!"

"Well you sir, are a Neanderthal!"

"**ARE YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY STILL DOING THAT?**" Allister demanded.

~STEVE CAM~

"I don't believe it." Allister said to Steve's camera. "Nicholas and my idiot boyfriend kept playing that stupid game even under threat of death by elephant foot!"

"It's quite an amusing game, man." Steve said.

"You're not helping!"

~ELSEWHERE~

"What the hell is going on?" Tak shouted as the balloon basket gave a sudden jerk. They're heard the trumpeting of elephants only seconds earlier, so something told TJ that Humphrey had something to do with this. Thinking quickly, TJ went over to one of the fishing ling strings, the other end of which was tied to Humphrey's tail, and bit down on it, severing the tie to Nicholas, Allister, and Dylan.

As soon as the balloon settled back down Payton leaned over the edge yet again and vomited once more… but then she became very weak, getting down on her hands and making odd exhaling noises with her mouth wide open. Tak immediately kneeled down next to her. "Payton, you okay baby?"

Kyra got down next to her and looked over her quickly, her face flushing white when she realized what was going on. "She's dry heaving." She explained. "This is very bad. We need to get some fluids in her, like, now!"

"What are you talking about?" Tak demanded.

"She wants to throw up but there's nothing left in her stomach!" Kyra snapped. "She'll be dehydrated in no time if we don't get her some water fast!"

"But it'll take forever for this thing to touch the ground!" Tak panicked.

"Then give me your belt and get out of the way!" TJ said, picking Payton up in one arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" Tak demanded.

"Getting your girlfriend some medical attention, now give me the belt! I'd use mine but **someone** threw it away." He glared at Kyra as Tak pulled off his belt and handed it to him without any further hesitation. TJ threw the belt over the fishing line leading to the train and then, holding Payton tightly to him, jumped over the edge of the basket, using the belt and fishing line like a zip-line down to the ground. "BONZAI!"

Tak and Kyra watched in complete awe as TJ and Kyra zipped down to the ground. Then Tak turned to her. "Is he insane?" he demanded.

~STEVE CAM~

"Yes." Kyra said to Steve's camera. "Yes he is."

"I couldn't agree more." Steve agreed.

~END STEVE CAM~

As TJ cam closer to the ground on his rigged zip-line, he let go of the belt about five feet above the ground. He landed on his feet and looked around. He was only a few yards from the train, and he saw Sakura and Ayame fighting each other with shovels as if they were swords while the train kept going forward towards a downward hill. He couldn't see Harper. He immediately knew this was a recipe for disaster, but he had other problems to attend to. As awkward as it was, considering that TJ was half naked and Payton wasn't Kyra, TJ positioned Payton so that she was piggybacking him before he headed off jogging into the woods in search of Chef, the only medically trained person on the island that he was aware of.

Meanwhile, on the train, Sakura and Ayame were dueling with shovels as if they were actually battling with swords. Harper was still in the coal car, groggily trying to get back to his feet. Sakura ducked as Ayame swung her weapon at her and then swung her won shovel at the other girl, Ayame blocking with her own. Ayame then raised her shovel over her head and brought it down, Sakura barely able to block.

As Harper finally got to his feet he realized two things. First, the first girl-fight he was ever witnessing was, while exciting, not nearly as cool as he thought it would be. Second, they were about to go over a very steep hill… not good when you have an open coal car in front of an open furnace of a steam engine! As they went over that hill Sakura and Ayame lost their footing, slipping onto the floor. Harper managed to grab onto one of the walls as almost every piece of coal dropped into that furnace, igniting the engine far beyond its means. The whistle went off by itself and the locomotive took off like a rocket.

~STEVE CAM~

"Let's see… how could we have avoided this?" Harper questioned.

"Would you like me to write you a list and email it to you next week? Because that's how long it will take to write down all the possibilities." Steve said.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Harper agreed.

~END STEVE CAM~

"We could've avoided this, you know, Sakura." Harper snapped as he ran to the front of the train to hit the brakes.

"Who says this is my fault?" Sakura demanded.

"Of course it's your fault!" Ayame snapped. "This would've been a smooth ride if you hadn't attacked us!"

"Well, I've got bad news and worse news." Harper said as he returned from the front of the train. "The bad news is that one of the coals broke the brakes, thus screwing us. Thank you, Sakura." The pink haired girl glared at him. "The worse news is that we are currently headed directly at the thousand foot cliff, thus screwing us further. This one I'm going to blame on Chris because it was probably him that placed train tracks leading directly off the edge of a cliff. But placing blame doesn't solve the problem of us about to die a terribly painful death, so…" with that he ran at and tackled the two girls off of the train just as it went over the edge of the cliff. Rolling as they hit the ground, they managed to catch a look at the resulting mushroom cloud as the train hit the rocky bottom of the lake, sending a shockwave through the island.

All three lay on the ground breathing heavily, Ayame and Harper still holding onto each other while Sakura lay next to them. After a few minutes of rest, Harper stood and helped Ayame to her feet. "Well, I've had enough excitement for one day. I think I'll let someone else win today." Harper said before turning to Sakura. "You can consider yourself eliminated." He snarled before he and Ayame took their leave.

Sakura didn't hear him. She was too busy thinking of how much she hated herself at that moment.

~ELSEWHERE~

"You're obnoxious."

"You're oddly shaped."

"You're positively atrocious."

"You're a pedophile."

"That's Chris, not me." Nicholas laughed. "You're a quack."

"You're a quintessential nut job!"

"**WOULD YOU TWO GIVE IT A REST ALREADY?**" Allister shouted at the top of his lungs. "I stopped judging so there can't be a winner!"

"It's still amusing." Dylan said.

"I don't care how amusing it is!" Allister growled. "If you…"

"Allister? Dylan? Nicholas? Is that you guys?"

All three boys stopped dead in their tracks as they saw TJ approaching them… half naked and with an unconscious Payton on his back. "Hey, you guys wouldn't happen to know where Chef is, would you? Payton needs medical attention."

"Um…" Dylan said, not sure if he should ask or not. "I'm just going to say it, where are your clothes?"

"I lost a bet! Now have you seen Chef or not?"

"No man, haven't seen him." Nicholas said.

TJ groaned. "Damn it. Tak is going to kill me." He said as he ran off. "Oh, by the way." He called over his shoulder. "I came across the finish line before I found you guys! It's just on the other side of that grove of trees over there!"

The three remained silent as they watched TJ run off, but the second he was out of sight they all started sprinting to where he'd told them. They pushed and shoved at each other but somehow managed to keep at the same pace. Just as TJ had told them, they found the finish line just on the other side of a grove of trees… and who would've guessed, it was a life sized statue of Chris. They all darted for it as soon as they saw it but the first to touch it was… Dylan!

"And we have a winner!" Chris said, appearing from seemingly nowhere. "Congratulations, Dylan! You're safe from tonight's elimination! Speaking of which, the time skip should happen right about… now!"

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Well, I think it's safe to say that that was the most insane challenge ever!" Chris said enthusiastically as the ten campers took their seats around the camp fire. Chris looked at them all smugly from behind his podium, a tray of only nine marshmallows before him. "We got footage of everything from TJ stripping off his clothes to Sakura and Ayame's little tiff. Thanks for the ratings, by the way! But now it's time to see who's going home tonight."

Chris grabbed a marshmallow from the tray. "Dylan, you get immunity." He said, tossing him the marshmallow. "And I think you'll be pleased to know that Allister is safe as well!" he tossed the second marshmallow to the other boy just before he and Dylan hugged. "Also, TJ, thanks to your noble acts to Tak and Payton, as well as Kyra, I believe you deserve the third marshmallow." He tossed a marshmallow to TJ. "Tak, Nicholas, and Kyra, you're all safe too!"

"And now, to you four." Chris said with a sadistic grin. Harper and Ayame held hands tightly in anticipation, Sakura looked out to the darkness of the woods with her arms crossed over her chest, and Payton clutched Tak's knee. She was feeling much better now, thanks to Chef, but was still not in the best of shape. "Harper and Ayame, I gotta say, you deserve a little punishment after what you did to Jason, regardless of what he did… but Sakura went overboard, so you two are safe!"

Ayame punched the air and Harper grinned in satisfaction before they caught their marshmallows. "So, it comes down to crazy girl and sick girl." Chris grinned, turning to the final two. "Sakura… you're crazy. And said craziness almost cost Harper and Ayame their lives, as well as myself thousands in legal fees when their parents would have inevitably sued!... But Payton, you cause a lot of people a lot of trouble today and you probably should see a real doctor, just to be safe… So, the final marshmallow goes to… Sakura."

"WHAT?" Sakura demanded. "You guys voted her off instead of me? Why? I went completely crazy out there! There's no reason that she should be leaving instead of me!"

"I need to see a doctor." Payton said calmly as she stood up. "I convinced everyone except you, Harper and Ayame to vote for me. I even voted for myself. I want to leave… I've had enough of this place." And with that, Payton gave Tak a lingering goodbye kiss before heading off to the Dock of Shame.

Enraged, Sakura stormed off towards camp. "I can't believe I voted for myself… It should've been me…" she whispered under her breath, tears welling up in her eyes.

~LATER~

"You wanted to see me, Chef?" Steve asked as he stepped into the Mess Hall.

Chef was sitting at one of the tables, glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose, writing something on a piece of paper. He looked up to find Steve taking a seat across from him, prompting him to remove his glasses. "Steve, things are getting out of control around here." Chef said. "Quite frankly, there's too much drama going around even for a show with the word in its title. I want to… calm things down a bit."

"And how do you plan to do that?" Steve questioned.

"All in good time." Chef said as he slid the paper he'd been writing on over to the camera man. "What I want you to do is contact these people and tell them to come to the island for the next challenge. The reason is also listed."

Steve looked down to the paper and his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates when he saw what Chef was planning. "Are you serious?" he asked.

"Dead serious."

"But why?"

"Why else? For the shits and giggles."

* * *

(**A/N**) What do you think? like it? don't like it? I kinda feel like I rushed it towards the end, but got back on track with the bonfire ceremony. whatever.

Now that I've got this out of the way I can get to a challenge Ive wanted to do since day 1! mind you, day one was almost 2 years ago! Im not saying what the challenge is, but I can confidently say that I havent even started writing it and I think it will be my favorite chapter and it will definitely be the funniest as far as non slapstick comedy goes. Ill give you a hint: the title of the next challenge is "Hog Roast". Any guesses?


	27. Hog Roast

Episode 26: Hog Roast

"And that's when I realized that she was my cousin." Chris said as he and Steve made their way down the Dock of Shame for the morning recap shoot.

"That has got to be one of the most disturbing Marde Gras stories I have ever heard." Steve said. "But, I can top it. You ever hear of something called a Donkey show?" Chris nodded, a little wary of where this was headed. "Well, long story short, if you ever accidentally walk in on one you turn your ass around."

"Do I want to know?" Chris questioned.

"Let's just say my brother spent some time in therapy."

There was an awkward silence as Steve set up the camera, but they conducted themselves as normal once it was on and rolling. "Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… Our ten remaining campers were given the simple task of finding a specific location in the woods; specifically a life sized statue of my likeness. However, a combination of absurd traveling conditions and drama made this much more difficult than it should have been. Sakura, bent on revenge, boarded a train with Ayame and Harper and later lost her mind and tried to bash Ayame's skull in with a shovel. Meanwhile, in the hot air balloon, TJ and Kyra had a very romantic moment just before Payton started dry heaving, having emptied the contents of her stomach by vomiting so much. While Tak panicked, TJ did some quick thinking and took Payton up in his arms. Then, using a belt and fishing line, he zip-lined down to the ground. TJ was half naked the whole time, by the way, thanks to a bet he'd lost with Kyra. And lastly, distracted by a game of trading insults, Nicholas, Dylan, and Allister failed to notice that their ride, and elephant named Humphrey, had strayed from their set path, in search of a mate. After almost getting trampled when Humphrey got into a fight with another bull, Dylan was the ultimate victor. Payton was then sent home, on her own accord, rather than Sakura who believed she deserved it more… as did I and several hundred fans.

"Today… um… Hey, Steve, I never got the memo. What's today's challenge?"

"Simulated zombie apocalypse." Steve answered.

"Right. Today, we'll be testing our camper's survival skills in the worst way imaginable! We're finally down to the single digits. Find out who will be coming in ninth place today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" the annual explosions went off along the beach and Steve shut off his camera.

~INSERT THEME SONG~

Sakura lay in her bed, hidden under the covers, alone. Ayame and Kyra had moved to the other side of the cabin, Ayame due to her anger towards Sakura and Kyra for the same reason, though only disappointed in Sakura's actions rather than hating her for them. Sakura didn't care. She was too depressed. She hated herself for what she'd done and only wanted to be left alone so she could sulk. Unfortunately, however, that same solitude was half the reason for her emotional state. She was pretty much alone. Harper and Ayame both hated her despite being some of her closest friends on the island beforehand. Kyra had sided with Ayame and, no surprise, TJ had agreed with her. The other four boys seemed to be completely indifferent, but also avoided Sakura and Ayame as they didn't want to get involved. Sakura realized that, despite how angry she was about Jason getting voted off before, it was then and there that she missed him the most as he was the only one who would have stuck beside her without question. "Then again I wouldn't be in this mess if he were still here." Sakura grumbled.

A knock came at the door. "Go away!" Sakura called.

Despite her protests Allister opened the door and stepped inside. "Sakura… Chris says he's about to announce the next challenge so you might want to head to the Mess Hall." He said.

"No." Sakura said. "I'm not competing today."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Everyone has been avoiding talking about Sakura the last couple of days… well, except for Harper and Ayame of course. They've been taking cheep shots at her every chance they get. I think they're being a little harsh on her. I mean, I was always taught to forgive and forget. Don't get me wrong, I'd probably be pissed to if Sakura had tried to decapitate me with a shovel! But… she feels so guilty about it. She's been sulking in her bed almost constantly since the last bonfire ceremony. I don't think she's even eaten more than one meal a day since then… I would've forgiven her by now."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"C'mon, Sakura." Allister said as he took a seat on the edge of her bed. "If you don't compete you might get booted off the island."

"Good." Sakura replied. "The sooner I get out of this hell hole the better."

Allister just sighed and stood up, heading for the door. But before he left he looked back to her over his shoulder. "What do you think Jason would want you to do?" he asked before leaving, closing the door behind him. Sakura only sighed.

When Allister at the Mess Hall he sat down next to Dylan, sitting across from Tak and Nicholas. Harper, Ayame, Kyra, and TJ sat at the other table, the four boys not wanting to get involved in their bashing of Sakura. In all honesty, TJ didn't want to get involved either but also didn't want Kyra to be angry with him. Chris, as usual was busy looking over papers and talking to the producers on his cell phone before the start of the challenge. Chef, in the kitchen, dumped a large burlap sack of potatoes into a skillet, most of which ended up onto the floor. Chef just shrugged and exited the kitchen to watch the challenge be announced, taking the burlap sack with him.

Chris flipped his phone shut and stuffed it in his pocket before turning to the eight campers. "Hey, where's Sakura?" he asked.

"She won't be joining us." Allister explained.

Chris just shrugged. "Her loss. Anyway, today's challenge is—"

Chris never finished that sentence, for at that very moment Chef ran at him and brought the burlap sack down over his head. Effectively capturing Chris, Chef lifted his sack into the air in his victory as Chris's muffled protests and the Final Fantasy victory music sounded off. "Meet me at the amphitheater in fifteen minutes." Chef said to the campers before running off, slinging Chris over his shoulder.

After a few seconds of awkward silence amongst the campers, TJ finally spoke up. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know." Tak said. "But Chef just got a lot cooler in my book."

~FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER~

As instructed by Chef, the campers arrived at the amphitheater with the exception of Sakura who was still sulking in the girl's cabin. As they took their seats amongst each other in the stands they noticed a few unusual things; the most notable of which was that Chef was wearing a tuxedo and that there was a long table set up in front of the front row of bleachers, on which sat five microphones. Chris was nowhere to be found. Upon noticing the arrival of the eight campers, Chef stepped onto the stage and stood behind the podium. He cleared his throat before speaking. "I would just like to tell you all welcome… **TO THE ROAST OF CHRIS MCCLAIN!**"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I'm sorry, did he just say the **Roast of Chris McClain**?"Nicholas asked in complete awe. "I can not tell you how epic this is! Please, for the love of everything good in his universe and any other, tell me we are the roasters!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Roasting Chris McClain?" Dylan questioned. "You have peaked my interest good sir."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Chef, I take back anything I every said that might have been insulting to you." Ayame said. "I don't care how bad your cooking is, you've just made up for all of the horrible meals you've served us and then some."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Thank you, Chef." Harper said, struggling to hold back his tears of joy. "Thank you, so much!"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

As Chef announced the roast, a couple interns pulled back the red curtains of the amphitheater, revealing Chris, bound to a chair and gagged with duct tape over his mouth. Like Chef, he was also wearing a tux but there were signs that he was wearing it unwillingly. "So," Chef continued, "Today your challenge is to roast your beloved host. The winner of immunity will be decided by today's special guest judges; say hello to the top five placing contestants of season one! Owen!" Owen stepped out from backstage, greeted by cheers from the campers as well as the crew. "Gwen!" Gwen stepped out next, waving as she was also greeted by applause. "Heather!" Heather has a smug grin on as she stepped into view, but upon realizing that there was no applause for her she scowled and took her place next to Gwen. "Duncan!" The cheering began again as Duncan appeared, causing Heather's scowl to turn to a look of surprise. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnd Mr. Coconut!" An intern threw a coconut with a face drawn on it from back stage, hitting Heather in the head, ricocheting off and landing in Owen's hands.

~ELSEWHERE~

Leshawna was sitting in her bedroom watching the latest episode of Total Drama Dynamite. She became very confused, however, when Chef announced who the guest judges were despite her not being there, and she became outraged when Mr. Coconut was announced. "What? They brought back a fruit instead of me? Oh hell no!"

~WAWANAKWA ISLAND~

As the five special guest judges took their seats, Chef went on to explain the competition. "Okay, so here's the deal. When I call your name you will come up to the podium and you will have five minutes to roast Chris McClain. When finished, each judge will give you a score of one to five. Whoever comes the closest to twenty five wins immunity. Everyone got that?" the campers eagerly nodded. "Okay, then. Kyra, you're up first."

The other campers and the guest judges cheered as Kyra made her way up to the podium. "I am here today to talk to you all about Chris McClain's two favorite things in the world besides money…" she said into the microphone. "Which would be his teeth and his hair. You see, there is a reason that Chris's teeth are so white, and it's not because he uses an entire tube of toothpaste every time he brushes five times a day. No, the reason his teeth are so white is because they are made from the souls of dentists. Think about it. It's either that or he steals them out of the mouths of teething babies. Moving onto Chris's hair… sorry, let me rephrase that. Moving onto Chris's greasy mop, never before have I seen so much hair gel on one head. Seriously, if he wanted to Chris could quit hosting Total Drama and open up his own hair gel company and, using only the gel found on his own head, live in luxury for the rest of his life. However, Chris would never do that for two reasons. First, he's too much of a sadist to give up this show. And second… Teletoons and Cartoon Network legally own the rights to Chris's hair… Oh, and by the way, Chris, Owen Wilson called. He said to wash the dye out of _that thing_ he loaned you (wink, wink, hint, hint) and have it back to him by Sunday."

Everyone laughed hysterically as Kyra went back to the stands and Chef went back up to the podium. "All right! Off to a great start! Judges?"

"Completely hysterical, Kyra!" Owen said enthusiastically. "But it needed a little something extra. Four out of five."

"I've gotta agree with Owen." Duncan said. "It was good, but it lacked something to make it perfect. Four."

"Well I thought it was great." Gwen said. "Five."

"Just awful." Heather said. "Two."

Someone had set a sign reading _5_ next to Mr. Coconut.

"All right! That gives you a grand total of twenty, Kyra!" Chef announced. "Allister, you're up next. "

"Chris, I've got to say, you are the worst kind of celebrity. You've gotten away with things that most serial killers haven't dreamed of. You've tried to feed people to sharks, you nearly gave everyone here a heart attack when you sent us to bony island, and you even let a teenage girl take on a deranged psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook for a hand while you sat by and ate popcorn. But despite all of these things, Chris, the worst thing you have ever done… worse than sending Heather, Lindsay, Owen, and Duncan through a field of land mines, worse than sending an infuriated mother eagle after Owen and Gwen when you gave them her eggs, and yes, even worse than nearly **KILLING ME, DYLAN AND NICHOLAS WITH HALF MAD BULL ELEPHANTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR MATING SEASON**… the worst thing you have ever done, by far, was bringing reality TV to the animated medium. You defiled something that was sacred and incorruptible, something that required creativity, imagination, a crew with actual skills, and above all else **WRITERS**! And yet you sank animation down to the levels of money grubbing producers who think that putting that talentless bitch Paris Hilton on TV going '_That's hot_' for a half hour is quality television… However, Chris, there is a flaw in my argument. Technically because this show is animated (I do apologize for breaking the fourth wall so much in this rant, by the way) it's not really reality TV. In fact I do realize that this show is meant to lampoon reality TV, and it actually does have all of the aforementioned things that reality TV does not have. But I digress. Despite the fact that I just killed my own argument, there are still a few things you fail to do Chris… You fail to emulate Ashton Kutcher's good looks… you fail to capture Charlie Sheen's wit… and you fail to win an Emmy like Stephan Colbert. And this is odd, because you were created by combining all of their DNA."

Duncan and Owen both gave Allister 4s while Gwen gave out another 5. Heather, slightly more impressed gave Allister a 3 while the 5 sign continued sitting next to Mr. Coconut. "Okay, total twenty-one! Nice. Our next roaster needs no introduction." With that, Chef promptly walked off the stage. After a few awkward seconds of silence, he called out, "Hey, Nicholas, get up there!"

Startled, Nicholas ran up to the stage and took his spot behind the podium. "What can I say about Chris McClain…? Other than the fact that he is one of the most egotistical, narcissistic, and sadistic people on the face of the earth? Seriously, Chris is so sadistic that he once produced, directed, and starred in the only film in the history of cinema to get an X rating for horrifically gory violence. Some of the special affects looked a little too real if you ask me… And don't even get me started on the ego and narcissism. Chris's ego is so big that it actually has mass. In fact, it is so big that BP should've used it to plug the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico… then again, I think most people would prefer having an ocean plagued with oil rather than the toxins that Chris's ego would inevitably leech into the waters. Should they have used Chris's ego to plug the oil leek it would have slowly infected the waters and its inhabitance. Sharks, fish, and octopi will catch a terrible disease known as McClainism, causing them to come onto land with intentions of becoming successful celebrities. Soon the entertainment business would focus on the internet sensation that is that is rapping octopi while our beaches are covered in rotting fish and sharks, putting an end to music, television, movies, the fishing industry, recreational swimming, and ultimately civilization as we know it. This is what would happen if Chris's ego was used to plug the oil spill in the gulf… but thankfully that is not the case and Chris's ego is safely encased inside his yard thick skull… Oh! And one more thing before I go." Nicholas then pulls a slingshot and a rotten tomato from his pockets and shoots the rotten fruit/vegetable directly at Chris, causing it to splatter all over his face. "Thank you and good night." Nicholas ended up with a grand total of twenty-two.

Next up was Tak. When he stepped up behind the podium, everyone immediately began laughing as he had dressed in Chris's clothes and was wearing a wig identical to Chris's hair. Tak looked directly at the camera and put on Chris's signature grin before beginning. "Hello, ladies. Look at your man. Now look at me. Now back to him. Now back to me. Now squint at him. Now look at me in HD. Do you know why I'm in HD? Because I'm on TV. And you could be, just listen to me. Look down. Now look up. Where are we? We're at an abandoned, rotting old summer camp which was the only place inexpensive enough for the producers to book for the show because I demand such a high salary. Here you and X number of other teenage suckers will compete for a grand prize of one hundred thousand dollars, going through most twisted, degrading, and potentially deadly challenges I could think of. What's this in my hand? I know! It's an immunity pass which you have won after doing a personal _favor_ (wink, wink, hint, hint) for me. But wait! The immunity pass is now a marshmallow which you will be given to symbolize your immunity for this challenge only for you to later realize that you didn't want the immunity because this place sucks and this game is not worth the hundred grand that you have a slim chance of winning. Look down again. Now look up. Where are we? We're at a luxury resort where you are having a superb time as compared to your stint at Camp Wawanakwa. You're considering suing the show, but you realize you can't after your lawyer looks through the contract you signed without reading. It just goes to show you that anything can happen when you're on TV with me. I'm on a horse." Grand total: twenty-four. Everyone gave him a five except Heather who, ever the Simon, gave him a four.

Next: Harper. As Harper stepped behind the podium, Ayame turned on the projector in the stands to begin his slideshow, starting with a black slide with "A History of Chris McClain" in bold white letters. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to present, for your amusement, the history of Chris McClain." Ayame hit a button on the projector, bringing up a slide of an infant that looked a lot like Chris. "Chris McClain was born in 1978, and therefore can not possibly be twenty-five. You are in your thirties, old timer. Get over it." The next slide showed Chris as a young child, probably six or seven years old. "In 1984, Chris had his breakout role in the film industry as a demonically possessed child in the live action adaptation of Stephan King's _Children of the Corn._ In this film he struck awe into critics and fans alike, specifically for a scene in which he bit a man's ear off… however, unknown to the general public, Chris actually bit the guy's ear off!" The next slide showed Chris about three years later along with two other boys of a similar age. "In 1987 Chris began his carrier in music in the boy band _Fame Town…_ The band lasted three years, made one album, and only had five concerts before they disband." The next slide showed Chris as a teenager, close to fifteen or sixteen, alongside a picture of an animate cat. "In 1993 Chris began voicing the character _Scratching Post_, a mangy, flee bitten ally cat, in the talking cat movie series _Cats don't talk_. Despite the films critical and box office failure… actually, catastrophe would be a more appropriate word; the film somehow got four sequels before the franchise was killed after the 2003 film _Cats Don't Talk 5: Everybody Hates Scratching Post_." The next picture showed Chris, looking a little younger than he does now, standing in a kitchen. "In 2005 Chris got his own cooking show… no need to go into further detail." The next and final slide showed Chris standing on the Dock of Shame at Wawanakwa Island. "In late 2007 Chris participated in a figure skating competition, making it all the way to the finals. And finally, in 2008, Chris began his most successful venture to date: the _Total Drama _series where he has tortured over forty innocent and naïve teenagers after luring them into his unholy trap with the promise of one hundred thousand dollars to the winner… I am ashamed to say I fell for this trick you **EVIL SON OF A BITCH!**... However, I suppose I do owe Chris a small debt, for if it weren't for his evil, scheming ways I never would've met my beautiful Ayame. So, I guess all I have to say is thank you, Chris McClain, for taking me out of therapy for my fear of romance… and putting me into therapy for my newfound phobia of you."

Now it was TJ's turn. "Chris, I gotta tell you, man. When I first met you I thought you were going to be a complete douche bag. But I'm glad to say that I no longer think that… I know it. Chris you have been nothing but a buzz kill since day one… with the exception of the party challenge, that I have to give you props for. Anyway, I don't really have a lot to say about Chris, but there is one thing I would like to show to him." With that, TJ stepped away from the podium, turned so that his back was facing Chris, bent over and pulled his pants down, revealing his bare ass to everyone, including the camera, as he mooned Chris. "Hope you like ham, Chris!" he said before pulling his pants back up and returning to the stands.

The men in the area were completely speechless and disgusted by what TJ had just done. Most of the girls, however, were blushing and tried to avoid looking at TJ or they were verbally expressing their approval for TJ's display in the case of Kyra and any other woman in the area who happened to be single. Owen and Duncan bother gave him 2s. Gwen and Heather gave him 5s. Mr. Coconut, of course, held up the 5 sign, giving TJ a total of nineteen, the lowest score so far.

Dylan went up next. "Chris McClain is an evil, evil man… but enough flattery, onto the roast! Now, ladies and gentlemen, some of you may not be aware that Mr. McClain here is in the closet… or, as we in the homosexual community say, he is a sniveling coward who is ashamed to be himself. But he's not gay, no! Chris McClain has been hiding something much more revolting than that. You see, I have compiled substantial evidence that Chris McClain… is a pedophile. Exhibit A!" In the stands, Harper turned on a projector which caused the Youtube video of Lena kissing Chris to appear on the pull down screen behind Dylan. "This video, caught by the noble camera men of Total Drama Dynamite, shows Chris forcing himself onto our former cast mate Lena, who was, and I'm pretty sure still is, under age at the time. Notice how his arms flail off to the side as he uses a Jedi mind trick to force her to kiss him. But some of you may remember that all charges were dropped in this case, so I give you exhibit B!" Harper switched the video to Lindsay's arrival in season one. When Chris said, "Not too shabby," he paused it. "Now do you see?" Dylan questioned. "This is indisputable proof that not only does Mr. McClain have a liking for sixteen year old girls… he also has a fetish for the letter L. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen." Total score: twenty.

And finally, it was Ayame's turn. "So, as Harper pointed out Chris has had many semi successful ventures in the entertainment industry. I'd like to take a look at some of his less successful exploits. For instance…" Harper turned on the projector in the stands and a poster of _X-Men Origins: Wolverine_ appeared on the pull down screen behind Ayame. However, Hugh Jackman had been replaced with Chris. "Did you know Chris auditioned for the role of Wolverine for the first X-Men movie? And he almost got the role! But there were two big reasons why he didn't. First, while Chris was barely twenty at the time Wolverine easily looks like he's in his early forties. And second… well, do you remember the scene in X-Men where Logan accidentally stabs Rogue? Yeah, Chris refused to use special effects for that scene." Harper switched the image to a poster for _Silence of the Lambs_, but Chris had been phottoshopped into the place of Anthony Hopkins. "Chris also auditioned for the role of Hannibal Lector in _Silence of the Lambs_. Now, it's not surprise that he lost the role to one of the greatest actors of all time: Sir Anthony Hopkins. But here's the reason he said he was perfect for the role of Hannibal Lector when he auditioned… And I quote: _Who better to play a cannibalistic serial killer than someone with experience in the field?_" The next poster was for _The Butterfly Effect_, but strangely Chris was nowhere to be seen on it. "Chris also auditioned for _The Butterfly Effect_. But he didn't want to take Ashton Kutcher's role. No, he was torn between choosing the role of pedophilic father of Ashton Kutcher's love interest, or her psychopathic brother." The next poster was for the upcoming _Thor_ movie. "And finally, Chris recently auditioned for the role of Loki in Marvel Studios' _Thor_ movie, coming out next year. Now, if you ask me Chris is perfect for the role of Loki. They're both crazy, they're both sadistic, and they're both power hungry. But there's one key reason that Chris didn't get the role… He thought the movie was about talking cats." Total score, twenty one.

"Well, looks like that's it for the roast of Chris's McClain." Chef said, but warned her to make it quick, as he returned to the podium. "Time to…"

"Hold on!"

Everyone looked over to the side of the stage, finding Sakura standing there. "I don't believe I've gone yet." She said. Chef just shrugged and stepped aside, allowing Sakura to take her spot. "Chris McClain… you are one of the kindest people I've ever met… and that's the joke. In all honesty, you're a complete douche bag. Ever since I met you it seems that everything you've done has been for the sole purpose of making us miserable. You may claim that money is your motivation, but we all know you enjoy these sadistic acts. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of time so I can't say a lot. So in closing, Chris, you are the pinnacle of douche-baggery… go ***CENSOR*** yourself."

Everyone, except Harper and Ayame, cheered and Sakura ended up with a total of twenty three simply because she was so blunt.

"And that's the end of it!" Chef announced. "Congratulations to Tak for his victory. Now it's time to unleash the beast and hear what Chris has to say to you all for your honesty."

Chef then removed the duct tape from Chris's mouth and cut the ropes binding him to the chair. With pure, unadulterated rage on his face, he stepped over to the podium. "I was going to go on a longwinded around, but I believe this will suffice. In the words of the great Bob Saggot… ***CENSOR*** you all and suck my hundred million dollar ***CENSOR***. I will see you all at the bonfire ceremony... Maybe…" And then he left for his trailer, but not before kicking Chef in the stones.

With the challenge over, Chris gone, and Chef incapacitated at the moment, the nine campers decided to get to know the guest judges that had inspired them to sign up for this hell hole they call a TV show. While everyone else was distracted, Sakura decided that then was as good of a time as any to speak to a certain couple. "Harper? Ayame?"

The couple turned their attention away from Heather's story to see Sakura was the one asking for them. They both glared at her. "What do you want?" Harper asked.

"Look, I can't apologize enough for what I did to you guys. I haven't stopped hating myself since then. I even voted for myself last time and I plan on doing that again today. I… I just want you guys to forgive me… I just want to be friends again. What do you guys say?"

"I say get lost." Ayame spat. "You tried to kill me. I'm not going to forgive you!"

Sakura sighed and turned away from them, hiding the tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. "I thought as much." She said as she walked away.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?" Allister demanded, having seen what had just happened between the three. He dragged Dylan along with him as he confronted Harper and Ayame. All she wants is your forgiveness! That's what friends do, they forgive each other!"

"Yeah, but friends don't try to kill each other!" Harper snapped back.

"Maybe so, but have you forgotten that if it weren't for Sakura and Jason you wouldn't even be on the island right now, Harper?" Allister questioned. "Because that's something that friends do… they try to reunite their friends with people they care about."

"I completely forgot about that." Ayame said.

"So what?" Harper demanded. "That still doesn't change the fact that she tried to kill you!"

"Did she really?" Dylan questioned. "Hurt, probably. Injure, maybe. But kill? Crazy as she was that day, I think she could've shown enough restraint to keep herself from lopping your head off. She was upset and out of her mind. Why don't you give her some slack? That being said, I'm off. Owen was telling a particularly interesting story about Izzy and a moose before Allister dragged me over here. Time to return the favor, lover boy."

As Dylan dragged Allister away from Harper and Ayame, the other boy glared at them. They were both beginning to resent themselves for hating Ayame so much. "I think we know what we have to do." Ayame said.

"Yeah." Harper agreed.

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Guess whose mercy you're at tonight, kiddies?"

Duncan stood behind the podium, Owen, holding Mr. Coconut, standing at one side of him while Gwen and Heather stood at the other. The fire cast an eerie shadow upon the four (five?) of them. They intended to look just as menacing as Chris did during the bonfire ceremonies, but the nine campers seemed unamused. "You're not terrified. Why aren't you terrified?" Heather demanded.

"Because we're not Chris." Owen said.

"He's got a point." Gwen agreed.

"Mr. Coconut agrees too!" Owen said.

"Where's Chris?" TJ asked.

"He's still fuming about the things you guys said." Heather explained. "So he let us take charge of the ceremony tonight."

"Anyway…" Duncan continued. "Let's see who's going home. Tak, you've got immunity." He tossed a marshmallow the boy who caught it in his mouth. "Harper and Ayame are safe too." He tossed them their marshmallows and, in a annoyingly cute fashion, they fed them to each other. "Dylan, Allister, and Nicholas are safe too… As is… Sakura."

Sakura looked up in surprise as Duncan tossed the marshmallow to her, allowing it to bounce of her head into the fire. "What? How am I not on the chopping block today?"

"You only got one vote." Gwen explained.

Sakura looked over to Harper and Ayame with a questioning look. They looked back at her, each with a smile, and they both mouthed, "We forgive you" to her. Sakura smiled back at them.

"Okay, fuzzy emotional moment over. Back to us." Owen said.

"So, now we have the final marshmallow." Duncan said, holding up the aforementioned sugar ball. "TJ, considering the male/female ration on the island right now, it's no surprise to me at all that you're on the chopping block. If you're going to moon someone, make sure that said person is the only person that can see where the sun don't shine."

"I don't see what the big deal is." Heather interjected. "He has a nice butt."

"Your opinion is irrelevant." Duncan said. "Moving on. Kyra… I honestly have nothing to say here. You get the marshmallow. So long TJ."

"What?" Kyra gasped.

"It's cool, baby. It was bound to happen." TJ said, hugging her. "I'll see you around." He said before kidding her forehead and getting up. As he started his walk to the dock of shame, Duncan, Owen, Gwen, and Heather joined him as the Boat of Losers was their ride home as well. Kyra, quickly coming to her senses, chased after them, wanting to spend as many of her remaining seconds with TJ as possible.

As soon as they were gone, Sakura got up and hugged Harper and Ayame tightly. "Thank you, so much." She said happily. "But what made you change your mind?" she asked after releasing her grip.

"Someone reminded us that if it weren't for you and Jason, Harper wouldn't be here right now." Ayame said. "We figured that, because of that, the least we owe you is our forgiveness."

Sakura was confused at first, she quickly came to a realization and looked over her shoulder. She found that, while Tak and Nicholas had left for the boy's cabin, Dylan and Allister had laid down by the fire and snuggled up next to each other, probably planning to spend the night under the stars. When Allister realized that Sakura was watching them he looked up to her and smiled. She smiled back before turning back to Harper and Ayame. "C'mon, guys." She said. "Chef's in a good mood today. I think I can persuade him to get us a few sodas."

"Sounds like a plan." Harper and Ayame agreed as they set off for the mess hall.

Once they were gone Dylan sat up behind Allister slightly and kissed the other boys cheek. "You did good today, Al." he said.

Allister snuggled closer to his boyfriend. "Yeah." He agreed. "Yeah I did."


	28. Ow! My Balls! Z Part 1

(**A/N**) anyone who guesses the title reference correctly wins the obvious award!

* * *

Episode 27: Ow! My Balls! Z Part 1

Chris grinned mischievously as he and Steve the Camera Guy made their way down the Dock of Shame for the morning recap shoot. He hadn't said a word all morning, but seemed to be in the midst of some evil contemplation, which worried Steve. If there's one thing Steve has learned while working on this show, it's that if Chris looks like he's plotting something then he probably is. "Should I be worried for my safety?" he asked.

"No, but Chef and those eight little brats should." Chris said.

"… So I should be worried for my safety."

"Slightly."

Steve took a few more steps back than usual before setting up the camera, glancing over to Chris occasionally out of paranoia. But, quick as ever, he gave Chris the thumbs up and the host began his speech. "Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… Your truly was betrayed in the most sickening way possible… I was roasted against my will. Chef abducted me, tied me to a chair, and forced me to sit there and listen to the degrading and insulting comments made by the campers… and Isaiah Mustafa, otherwise known as The Man Your Man Could Smell Like. And they attacked me from every angle, too: my past, my failed ventures, I'm evil, I'm cheap, I'm evil, me getting molested by Lena and somehow being blamed for it (I'll admit that Lindsay is smokin', she's eighteen now I think), I'm evil, I have a massive ego, and I'm evil. Did I miss anything? No? Okay! Moving on! We also had special guest appearances made by last season's top five: Owen, Gwen, Heather, Duncan, and… Mr. Coconut! We also received an angry email from Leshawna about an hour later. Anyway, long story short, Tak was deemed the funniest for his parody of the Old Spice commercials, thus winning immunity, and TJ was sent home for mooning me, which the other five guys on the island didn't care for.

"Today… oh, screw it. It's payback time, biznitches! Muahahahaha…" Chris continued to laugh maniacally as the explosions went off along the beach.

Steve shut off his camera before speaking. "Seriously, should I be worried about my safety?"

"Only if you're allergic to the contents of a septic tank and were in on my betrayal… were you?"

"No." Steve lied.

"Then you're good." Chris lied.

~INSERT THEME SONG~

"**ATTENTION VICTIMS!**" Chris's voice rang out across the island as he shouted into a megaphone which was pointed at the microphone for the loudspeakers throughout the camp. "**REPORT TO THE MESS HALL IMMEDIATELY OR YOUR DAY WILL BE A LOT MORE UNPLEASANT THAN IT IS ALREADY GOING TO BE! McCLAIN OUT!**"

"The hell…" Tak groaned as he sat up in his bunk. He looked out the window to find that the sun was barely starting to rise. "What time is it?" He pulled out his cell phone and glanced at the clock. Exactly six in the morning. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to find the only gun on this godforsaken spit of land and I'm going to kill him."

"What's going on?" Nicholas yawned as he sat up, hitting his head on the bottom of the bunk above him.

"Chris is a dead man." Tak growled as he stood up and pulled on a pair of jeans.

"Agreed." Harper grumbled.

Dylan and Allister lay silently in the same bed, Dylan spooning behind his boyfriend with one arm wrapped around him, both feigning sleep in an attempt to avoid the day's challenge. "C'mon, you two." Tak ordered, kicking the side of their bed. "Everyone's going to suffer this morning. That includes you."

Dylan struggled to hold back a smirk. "Five more minutes, mommy." He chuckled.

"**NOW**!" Tak shouted, causing Allister to jump and knock his head back against Dylan's jaw. Dylan clutched his jaw as he yelped in pain.

"And it begins." Nicholas chuckled.

The girls exited their cabin at the same time that the boys did, equally disheveled and irritated. "Morning, Ayame." Harper said as he walked over to her, kissing her on the cheek before taking her hand in his as they walked together.

"Morning." She replied, kissing him back. "Care to join me in castrating Chris?"

"Yeah, I'm going to have to pass." Harper said. "I don't care what a guy's done to you. You don't do that."

Ayame just shrugged. "More fun for me."

As the eight campers entered the Mess Hall, Chris greeted them with his usual grin, Steve standing behind him with the camera. "Morning, traitors!" Chris greeted. "Who's ready for vengeance?"

"Only if we get breakfast first." Sakura said. "Where's Chef?"

"Indisposed." Chris answered.

~ELSEWHERE~

Chef awoke with a throbbing headache in complete darkness. He could literally see nothing, it was so dark. He felt around and guessed he was trapped inside of a wooden box… strangely contoured to the size of his body. He sighed. "Never could take a joke, could you Chris?" He dug into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. As he flipped it on he confirmed his suspicions. "Yep. Buried alive. Someone's been watching too many Ryan Reynolds movies."

~MESS HALL~

"So, what do we get for breakfast?" Allister asked.

"Nothing!" Chris snapped. "And if you guys aren't cooperative, the only thing you all will be eating today is sewage!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Did he just say sewage?" Kyra asked.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"He just said sewage, didn't he?" Harper questioned.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Nicholas stood in the confessional outhouse, looking down at the toilet. Suddenly his cheeks puffed out and he kneeled down, hurling into said toilet. After finishing, he looked into the camera. "Wait… I just upchucked into the toilet… toilet leads to the septic tank…" He started vomiting into the toilet again. He sighed when he finished, only to realize what he had just done and started vomiting a third time.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"So, everyone ready for the challenge?" Chris asked. "I guarantee it'll ruin your day."

"You woke me up at six in the morning and you're not giving me breakfast." Kyra complained. "My day's bad enough already."

"And it's only going to get worse from here." Chris said. "Follow me, you ungrateful bastards!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Sounds like Chris isn't a morning person." Ayame chuckled.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Chris led the eight campers out of the Mess Hall to the location of the challenge. The stage that had been set for the challenge was a bit odd, but what it was for was pretty clear. There was a pool, at least five feet deep, round, and likely ten yards wide. Whatever it was filled with smelled rancid, but not like sewage as Chris had claimed. Suspended above the pool was a platform, half the width of the pool, and held up by chains connected to four totem poles. "So here's the deal." Chris said. "I'm going to call two of you up at a time. The two of you will then be handed padded staffs, to my displeasure, and be hoisted up onto the platform. You will then have to duke it out until one of you is knocked off the platform or KO'd. Now, lucky for you, legal told me that we couldn't fill the pool with sewage due to health reasons. But I assure you that what it is filled with, which shall remain classified, will make you unapproachable for at least a week should you fall in it. Standard rules apply from here. Winner gets immunity, a vote decides who gets sent home, and I am satisfied with my vengeance because seven of the eight of you smell horrible for at least a week." Dylan suddenly raised his hand. "No, tomato juice doesn't take the smell off." Chris answered. Dylan lowered his hand. "Any other questions? No? Good! First up is… Allister and Dylan!"

"What?" Allister questioned.

"Why us?" Dylan demanded.

Chris turned to Steve's camera. "They're still not getting the revenge thing." He said before turning back to them. "Get up there before I eliminate both of you from the game!" he ordered. Dylan and Allister were both handed the promised padded staffs, basically four foot plastic poles with boxing glove-like pads at the end, before being lifted up onto the platform. "Now, before we begin the match, let's have a little clip show." Chris said with an evil grin.

It was then that everyone noticed a crane pole above then, slowly lowering a large TV screen down, stopping just a few feet above Dylan and Allister's heads. When it was turned on, the first image shown was Dylan kissing Payton from the Truth or Doom Challenge. The next few clips were from Playa Des Losers, all of which showed Dylan getting along with one of the male staff a little too well. "And… begin." Chris said.

"What was that all about?" Dylan asked before finding himself lying on the ground, Allister having smacked him across the face with the pad of his staff. "You mind telling me what the sucker punch was for, Al?" Dylan asked as he pushed himself to his feet, rubbing his jaw.

"Who was that guy, huh?" Allister demanded.

"Wha…" Dylan began, then it dawned on him and he turned his attention to Chris.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"You are an evil, evil man, Chris." Dylan growled to the camera. "You're going to get it for this."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Look Al, I have no idea who that guy was." Dylan explained. "I don't even remember that happening."

"You sure?" Allister questioned.

"Al, I'm stupid, not retarded."

It was at that moment that a new image flashed on the screen, showing Dylan and the male staff member in question dancing, or rather grinding, together.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Oh come on! None of this ever happened! At least not as far as I can remember. Either Chris slipped a roofie into one of my drinks or he got a seriously convincing actor to play me."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"I swear Al, I don't know what the hell that is. That never happened! That's not me!"

"Save it, dirt bag!" Allister growled before swinging his pole again. Dylan managed to block the attack and pushed Allister away, but refused to retaliate while his boyfriend was mad. Allister kept coming at him again and again, wild with anger and Dylan continued to find ways to avoid or block him. They kept moving around the platform and a few times they came close to the edge, making the idea of Dylan tumbling back into the fowl smelling liquid a very plausible idea. But when it came to this Dylan always pushed away his aggressor and moved into safe territory. The whole time Dylan kept thinking.

_Something isn't right. I've never seen Allister this aggressive._ He pondered. _He usually mopes if he's upset._ When Allister went to attack him next Dylan stood his ground until the last second before side stepping him. He then moved his back and wrapped his arms around him, holding his staff in both hands and pulling back to pin the shorter boy to him. "What's wrong with you, Al?" Dylan asked. "Why are you attacking me?"

"Why the hell do you think?" Allister demanded. "I'm freaking mad at you!"

Dylan smirked. "Clearly you're not." He said. "First off, you would have taken the profanity a bit farther if you were really mad. Second, if you were really upset you'd be sulking instead of trying to knock my lights out."

"Maybe I've changed." Allister said.

Dylan groaned. "C'mon, Al! Can't you see this is just Chris trying to drive a wedge between us? He's been talking about revenge all morning!"

Allister wanted to rebuke, but he stopped himself. Dylan smiled, thinking that his words were beginning to sink in. But then a new image appeared on the screen. Dylan and Allister looked up to find a slow motion scene of Dylan kissing the guy he'd been getting chummy with. At that point Allister's heart shattered and Dylan's jaw dropped. "Oh what the hell! That never even happened! "You're going to get it for this, McCl—"

Allister cut him off by knocking his head back against his jaw for the second time that morning. Dylan let go of him and stumbled back, clutching his jaw as he lost his grip on his staff. Allister turned toward him slowly, breathing heavily and writhing in anger. "Al, I swear, that's not me! Chris is screwing with your head!"

"**SHUT UP!**" Allister shouted as he charged at Dylan. Dylan managed to jump out of the way, but at a cost he soon regretted. Allister ended up stumbling and falling off the edge of the platform into the pool of rancid liquid.

"And the winner is, Dylan!" Chris announced.

No on cheered and Dylan ignored him as he dove in after Allister, who had not resurfaced yet. After a few seconds the came back up, both gasping for breath only to find themselves choking on the air. "You okay… Al?" Dylan choked.

"Don't touch me." Allister growled, pulling away from him.

Dylan hung his head before feeling something touch his arm. He grabbed it and lifted it up, finding that he was holding something black and slimy, shaped like a thin football. "Is that a cantaloupe rind? Well I guess that would explain the rancid smell."

"No, that would be you." Allister said. "Now someone get me the hell out of here and away from him!" A couple of interns wearing hazmat suits came over and helped them onto dry land and Allister immediately stormed off, Dylan chasing after him.

"Moving on to round two." Chris said. "Next up is… Sakura and Harper!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Okay, after what I just saw, I'm definitely thinking I might as well just forfeit." Harper said to the camera. "It's no secret that Sakura and I have some history, and the way Chris thinks he could easily blow it out of proportion and Sakura would go on another murderous rampage. So basically I have two choices: forfeit and look like a coward, or go through with it and possibly… scratch that, probably end up dead."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Hey! You doing this or what?" Sakura called, already up on the platform and ready to fight. Harper had fallen into a state deep in though, weighing his options over and over again as if it were vague which one would be more to his benefit. After a few tough minutes, he finally came to a decision.

"**I CHOOSE LIFE!**" he shouted before taking off into the forest.

Sakura slumped her shoulders. "Seriously?" she asked as she was hoisted off of the platform by interns and brought back down to the ground. Ayame came over to her.

"Sorry that Harper's such a pansy." She said, scratching the back of her head.

"Don't be." Sakura said. "You've taught him his place well."

They both laughed.

Chris snapped his fingers and two interns ran over to him, ready to follow his every order. "Find him and drag him back here by his ears" Chris ordered. "All losers must take a swim." Almost automatically, the two interns saluted before going off into the forest after Harper. "Well, looks like Sakura gets an automatic win. Next on my list is… Tak and Nicholas!"

Unlike Harper, these two didn't think anything through. Both Tak and Nicholas immediately claimed their weapons and stepped onto the platform, ready to duke it out. "Now, before we get started, it's time for another clip show!"

The very first thing seen was Payton kissing Nicholas on Bony Island.

"Nice try, Chris." Tak called from the platform. "But I'm well aware that Nicholas and Payton kissed once."

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Chris questioned, sporting his signature grin. "Once? Oh, you are mistaken, my young friend. Observe clip two." The next image showed Payton leaving the Mess Hall the night after the Hunter challenge, which Chef had hosted. As she walked along the path leading down to the girl's cabin, Nicholas suddenly jumped out from behind a tree and pulled her into a kiss, and an aggressive one at that. Payton didn't seem to protest, and even seemed to get into it a little.

Tak looked over to Nicholas who was as shocked as he was. "I… do not remember that." Nicholas said. "I went to bed as soon as I left the Mess Hall man."

"This isn't going to work, Chris!" Tak called over his shoulder.

"Oh, isn't it?" Chris chuckled. "Moving on to clip three."

They next saw a never before seen confessional of Nicholas. "Yeah, I realized I made a mistake the second I left the Mess Hall. So, I decided to wait for her and take back what I said. And oh did she approve."

Tak looked over to Nicholas who was completely dumbfounded by what he'd seen. He slowly turned his attention to Tak and saw the rage clearly building up. "Tak, buddy, take it easy. You saw what just happened to Al and Dylan. No reason to go over the edge here. Chris is just being a douche bag."

Tak hadn't heard a word. "You're a dead man." He growled before charging, gripping his pole tightly with both hands. He brought his weapon down over Nicholas who blocked with his own and pushed Tak out of the way. Unlike Dylan, Nicholas wasn't opposed to retaliating and went at Tak while he'd lost his balance. Nicholas hit Tak in the back, knocking him off his feet. But when he went to attack again Tak rolled out of the way and leapt to his feet. Neither of them took their gaze off the other as they slowly circled the platform, waiting for the perfect opportunity to attack.

"Oh, Tak!"

Tak and Nicholas looked down to Chris, who had spoken. He pointed up to the big screen again and they looked up to find an image of Nicholas and Payton sleeping in each other's arms on the beach under a full moon. "What the ***CENSOR***?" Nicholas demanded. "Not only did that never happen, it totally looks staged! You can't seriously be falling for this, Tak!"

But he was.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"What the ***CENSOR*** is going on?" Nicholas demanded to the camera. "Apart from the first clip nothing on that screen has actually happened! You'd think that Tak would be smart enough to realize this. We're buds! I'd never try to steal Payton from him! And I know what you're thinking, and the answer is still no. I still wouldn't even betray Tak even if Payton offered herself to me in a skimpy French maid outfit while holding a tray of barbeque ribs and a giant novelty check for a hundred million dollars… man I have weird fantasies."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"This could not be going more perfectly." Chris laughed.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Wait for it…" Chris said, putting his hand up to his ear as he waited for something.

"**I'LL CRUSH YOU!**"

"Bad day, bad day, bad day!"

Tak had lost all of his sense in a blind rage and was now chasing Nicholas around the platform like a dog chasing its own tail… except the tail wasn't attached and was running away from him. Nicholas knew better than to face him head on, at least for now. He had to wait for Tak to slip up, wait for him to make the perfect mistake and knock him over the edge of the platform. This was easier said than done unless Nicholas spontaneously grew eyes out of the back of his head, however.

"Nick, I swear, if you don't stop running things are going to be a lot worse for you!" Tak shouted.

"Yeah, I highly doubt that." Nicholas called over his shoulder.

That was his fatal mistake.

By looking over his shoulder for that brief second, Nicholas had lost his sense of direction and failed to realize he was now running straight for the edge of the platform. By the time he did realize this he only had about three steps to change direction, which proved to be insufficient and he ended up taking a dive… literally.

"And the winner is Tak! As expected!" Chris announced.

"No way you're getting off that easy!" Tak growled as he jumped into the rancid liquid after Nicholas. Hi hit the surface just as Nicholas started climbing out.

"Okay, time to end the first round. Kyra, Ayame, get up there."

Kyra and Ayame were lifted up onto the platform and handed their staffs and waited. They expected another one of Chris's evil clip shows to start, but surprisingly it didn't. "What are you two waiting for?" Chris asked. "I want to see a cat fight!"

"No clip show?" Kyra asked.

"Not this time. Now start already! This is only a thirty minute show, after all."

Kyra and Ayame looked at each other and shrugged. Holding their staffs in both hands, they bowed before going at each other. Kyra made the first offensive movie, swinging her weapon at Ayame who blocked the attack, pushing her opponent away before swinging at her legs. Kyra did a back flip to avoid the attack, crouching as she landed a few feet away. She motioned for Ayame to come at her and the other girl happily accepted the offer. Ayame rushed at her and attacked head on, a mistake as Kyra manage to block her attack and then swing up, trying to knock Ayame's weapon out of her hand. She let go with one hand, but kept a firm grip with the other. Kyra proceeded to bash her staff into Ayame's shoulder and then swept it under her legs, knocking her off her feet. Ayame landed on her back and Kyra stood over her, holding the end of her padded staff just under her chin.

"Get up." Kyra ordered as she kicked away Ayame's weapon.

With no other choice, Ayame complied and stood. Kyra turned her towards the nearest edge and pocked her in the back with her staff, signaling her to march forward. Ayame obeyed, Kyra staying at her back the whole time. But at about the half way point, Ayame swung around and grabbed Kyra's staff, wrenching it from her hands and tossing it aside. Caught off guard, Kyra was unable to respond when Ayame went to kick her in the side, sending her falling to the ground. Kyra looked up at her opponent who smirked at her, standing in a fighting stance. "Did you really think it would be that easy?" Ayame chuckled.

Kyra just smirked and pushed herself to her feet. She assumed her own stance and they stared each other down for a few seconds before resuming the fight. Ayame threw the first punch, which Kyra ducked under. She went to punch at the other girl's stomach, but it was blocked by her knee. Kyra jumped back just as Ayame tried to bring her elbow down on her back. Growling, Ayame charged at her, throwing a meteor storm of fists which Kyra had little trouble blocking or dodging. However, Kyra had a little less luck when Ayame pulled a kick, slamming her calf into the side of Kyra's thigh. Kyra cringed and buckled to one knee, Ayame now standing over her with an obnoxious smirk.

But Ayame knew the battle wasn't over yet. They were still far from the edge and the only other way to win was a technical knock out, which she didn't see happening, nor did she want to happen. She waited for Kyra to stagger to her feet, and at first it seemed that she was. But then Kyra smirked and lowered herself back down, sweeping her leg under Ayame's and knocking her to her back. The blond then tried to get back to her feet, but Ayame jumped on top of her before she could. They grabbed each others shoulders and struggled against each other as they began rolling closer to the edge until they eventually fell over.

Kyra fell into the rancid liquid… Ayame grabbed the platform at the last second.

"That has got to be the most epic thing I've seen all day." Chris said approvingly before turning to the camera. "Three fights and a coward's forfeit down, three fights to go. Who will ultimately be crowned victorious in Chris's Revenge challenge? Find out when we return from the commercial break! Now where the hell is Harper? He's well overdue for his punishment!"

~ELSEWHERE~

"What the hell?" Chef pulled his lighter out of his pocket and flicked it on, finding Harper now laying next to him in his coffin. "How the hell did you get in here?" he asked.

"I have no idea." Harper said. "But it's better than taking a dip in rotten cantaloupe juice."

* * *

(**A/N**) So yeah... Chris is f***ing evil. not much left to say there... also, if youre wondering, there will be an "Ow! My balls!" moment in the next chapter


	29. Ow! My Balls! Z Part 2

Episode 28: Ow! My Balls! Z Part 2

"Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… After scarring the pride of the evil Chris, our heroes found themselves captured and forced to participate in the Chris's Revenge Tournament, the twisted results of Chris's revenge plot. Using his inflated ego and powers of television production, Chris first forced Dylan to face off against his partner Allister. But in an evil twist, Allister was shown images of Dylan betraying him and Allister was pushed into a blind rage which ultimately cost him the match. Next Harper was set to go against Sakura. Sensing that Chris would pull a similar stunt in their fight, given recent events, Harper took off, preferring to preserve his own life than risk his neck against an enraged Sakura. Tak and Nicholas were third and, just as Harper had predicted, Chris pulled his evil trick once more. Tak was shown images of his girl Payton and Nicholas sneaking around behind his back and went mad attacking Nicholas relentlessly. Unlike with Allister, Tak's rage worked to his advantage and Nicholas was taken out. Finally, Ayame and Kyra were sent up against each other. Chris showed not falsified images, as there was no flames for a spark to ignite between the two, and so the other competitors were treated to an amazing battle between the two beauties. Ayame was victorious in the battle, saved by the tips of her fingers.

"Now Chris's Revenge Tournament continues, unhindered and with the outlook seeming bleak. Will Chris try to drive yet another friendship apart with his evil videos?'

"Chef?"

"Will our remaining heroes be able to resist him?"

"Hey, Chef! Yoohoo!"

"Will Harper return to save the day?"

"No, you idiot! I'm trapped in this box with you!"

"Find out today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!"

"Chef, what the hell are you doing?"

Chef looked over to the boy lying next to him in the coffin. "Well we're required to do at least one Dragon Ball Z joke in this episode." He then looked directly into the camera. "You hear that? It's over with. Don't expect another one." He then turned back to Harper. "Anyway, Chris said that if I don't do this he won't let me out of here until I run out of oxygen."

"What about me?"

"I don't think he knows you're in here."

~ELSEWHERE~

Dylan hung his head as he returned to the general area of the arena. He's been out looking for Allister and only returned after Chris had demanded his presence at the challenge. "No luck, Dylan?" Nicholas asked as his friend took a seat next to him on the ground, their backs against a tree.

Dylan shook his head. "Lost track of him about ten minutes ago. He ran into the woods and hid somewhere. Haven't seen him since."

"Sorry, man." Nicholas said understandingly. "Chris has gone over the line this time. After you left Sakura and Harper were supposed to fight but Harper guessed what would probably happen and ran off. Then it was me and Tak… things did not go well."

"Fake cheating videos."

"Bingo."

"What about Ayame and Kyra?"

"Nothing. Didn't even try to pry a wedge between them. He just let them go at it. Ayame won."

"He's probably got something else planned for her."

"I wouldn't doubt it."

"Hello, gentlemen." Nicholas and Dylan suddenly found Chris standing before them, one hand on his hip, the other holding a Scottish broadsword, and with a stern look on his face. "Maybe I wasn't clear, Dylan. Get to the arena **now**. Your opponent awaits and I've already told you I won't tolerate forfeiting."

"C'mon, Chris. Haven't you given Dylan enough trouble?" Nicholas protested.

Chris didn't raise the claymore, but pointed it in his direction. "Zip it, loser."

"What's wrong with you, man?" Nicholas questioned, scooting away from Chris a little.

"What can I say? I'm a bit of a sociopath."

"Okay, I can't take it anymore. Why do you have a sword?" Dylan demanded.

"This?" Chris questioned, holding up the blade. "It's just a prop. Styrofoam. It's for dramatic effect."

Chris lead to the two boys over to the arena where Sakura was already waiting on the platform, armed with her padded staff. The interns help hoist Dylan up there as well and he was given his weapon. "So," Dylan said, looking down to Chris. "What do you have to make Sakura turn against me?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing. Have fun." Chris said, only half paying attention.

With a shrug, Sakura and Dylan got into defensive positions and began circling each other.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"As far as I know, Dylan has no combat skills." Sakura said to the camera. "He won the last match by accident. This should be a peace of cake."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Sakura made the first move, faking left before going in from the right. This caught Dylan off guard for a second, but not long enough. When Sakura came at him he was able to side step her attack and hit his staff against her back. Sakura hit the ground but quickly rolled away and got back to her feet as Dylan went to hit her again. She came at him again but Dylan blocked with his staff and pushed her back. He began swinging at her relentlessly, and she was barely quick enough to block each attack. Finally Sakura was able to get a counter attack in, which Dylan easily dodged, and jumped away to catch her breath.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Rock hard, stale cake that is." Sakura groaned.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"How the hell are you so fast?" Sakura asked.

Dylan smirked. "Don't think me a stereotype, but I've taken years of dance and ballet classes. I'm strong, agile, but most importantly…" He went at her, lightning fast. He was far enough away that Sakura could easily block his attack, but at the last second Dylan swung around and got her from behind, swinging low and taking her feet out from under her. She landed on her back and Dylan looked down to her smugly. "Quick." He finished.

"But stupid." Sakura smirked.

The next thing Dylan knew there was intense pain between his legs. Sakura had brought her staff up and hit him square in the crotch. He took a few steps back as he dropped his pole, his hands going to the injured area, but he managed to stay on his feet. "That was a… low blow." He groaned.

"Still manages to make jokes." Sakura chuckled as she stood up. "You've got spunk, Dylan, but it's time to end this."

While Dylan was incapacitated, Sakura kicked his weapon off of the platform and began pushing him back. She swung at him from all directions and it was all Dylan could do at the moment to move back to avoid getting hit. By the time he had regained his strength he was half a step away from going over the edge of the platform and taking a dip in the rancid pool. Sakura held the end of her staff to Dylan's chest and grinned. "Any last words?" she asked.

"Yeah." Dylan said. "Think fast."

Dylan grabbed onto Sakura's staff and they were suddenly struggling for control of it, pushing against each other with the hope that the other would lose their footing. Dylan hadn't been lying when he said he was strong. Despite her own years of martial arts training, she was struggling to keep him from winning. But then something strange happened. Dylan's strength just seemed to give out and Sakura was able to push him over the edge. She watched as he fell. It was too quick to be certain, but she didn't think she saw a look of shock on his face. Not even disappointment. Just… determination.

After being helped down from the platform, Sakura went over to watch the intern in the hazmat suit help Dylan out of the muck. Then, taking a deep breath first, she walked over to the now foul smelling boy. "You threw the fight." She said quietly, so the others couldn't hear.

"Duh." Dylan said as he took a towel from the hazmat intern and began wiping gunk and liquid off of himself. "I've got more important things to worry about that Chris's insane challenge."

"So you let me get that low blow." Sakura said with a half smirk.

"Yep."

There was a brief pause, neither of them taking their eyes off of each other. Then Sakura said, "I want a rematch."

"Later." Dylan said. "Allister comes first. Then a shower. Then we'll talk."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I regret not taking the shower first." Dylan said to the camera, now sporting a bruised cheek.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Meanwhile, Chris was already eager to get the next match underway. "All right then. Next on my to-humiliate list… Tak and Ayame! Let the games commence!"

"Give her hell, Tak." Kyra cheered as Tak was hoisted onto the platform. He didn't respond. He was still fuming mad at Nicholas and intend on throwing him into the nearest volcano once the challenge was over.

"You taking requests, Ayame?" Nicholas asked as she climbed up. "Because I think putting Tak in a coma would probably be best for my health."

Ayame looked down to him and shrugged. "Stuff happens." She said nonchalantly.

"Okay, before anyone asks, I have no videos for these two either." Chris said. "Now let's get going already!"

Neither of them hesitated. They both went for each other immediately, swinging their staffs hard. Their weapons rebounded off of each other and Tak swung again, horizontally at Ayame's shoulder. Ayame ducked and rolled away, springing back to her feet and going in for the attack but Tak managed to swing in time and block her advance. He pushed her back and then attacked from the side, hitting her in the shoulder, hard.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I never expected Tak to be this focused while he's angry. I need to step my game up."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Using her staff as a pole-vault, Ayame jumped over Tak and landed behind him, going in for the kill when she landed. Tak hadn't expected this and took a hit to the back, knocking him forward but not off his feet. When she went to attack him again he side stepped it. Ayame stumbled forward and Tak stuck out his foot, tripping her. When she hit the ground Ayame rolled over to find Tak's staff coming down right at her. She rolled out of the way only to find it coming at her again when she stopped and she rolled away again. When Tak swung down at her a third time Ayame caught it in her hand and kept a firm grip as she stood up.

As she kept her grip on Tak's staff, she swung at him with her own but Tak grabbed it, keeping his grip as well. They stood their ground and fought over the staffs for a while, jerking and trying to pull them out of the others hands, but when nothing came of these they came to a silent agreement and both let go of one, both ending up with the others original staff. Tak rushed at Ayame, going in relentlessly for attack after attack. Ayame managed to block or dodge each of his swings, but she didn't believe that hitting her was his actual goal. He was slowly but surely pushing her towards the edge. But she had a plan. When they were about five feet from the edge she took a hit and fell down to her back. Tak went to swing at her, but at the last second Ayame raised her feet and lifted Tak up by his stomach. She swung him over the edge by rolling and let him fall down into the grimy muck below.

"And Ayame is the winner!" Chris announced. "Excellent. Just as I predicted. And now for the final match! Ayame, you can stay up there. Sakura, would you mind stepping into the ring?"

"What? I don't get some kind of reprieve?" Ayame demanded.

"Duh." Chris said. "Good luck with that, though."

While Ayame sat down and tried to relax as much as she could before the match started, Sakura was hoisted up onto the platform while the intern in the hazmat suit helped Tak out of the muck. "Okay, time for the final match. This fight will determine who will get immunity for today's challenge…" Chris paused as a sinister grin crept onto his face. "But first, a little clip show!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Fun fact." Chris said to the camera. "I didn't have to fabricate any of the clips for these two."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

The first clip showed Jason in the boat house as he picked up all of the things that Harper had planned to use to break into Chef's fridge in the McClain's Eleven challenge. Ayame glared over to Sakura but said nothing. The next clip showed Harper rigging a spring-loaded boxing glove in Chef's fridge on the same episode. This prompted Sakura to return Ayame's gaze. The third and final clip showed Sakura and Ayame battling on the train from the Insane Race Challenge while Harper struggled to keep the locomotive going. Keeping their stern looks, Ayame and Sakura took a few steps away from each other and gripped their staffs, ready for battle. "Aaaaaaannnnnddd… go." Chris said.

On command, the fight began. Ayame stood her ground as Sakura charged at her. Sakura swung from the side but Ayame was able to block it. Sakura swung around and tried again from the other side, but again Ayame stopped her staff with her own. Sakura swiftly jumped around to behind Ayame and tried again, only to once again be denied a hit.

"What the heck is Ayame doing?" Kyra asked Nicholas as the two watched the match.

"Being smart." Nicholas answered. "I'd put money on her winning this match."

"Really?' Kyra questioned. "But she's still exhausted from her fight with Tak. How do you figure she'll win?"

"Watch closely. Her feet have barely moved from that spot since the match began. Meanwhile Sakura is going at her at full force. If she's patient, Ayame can block every one of Sakura's attacks. This way, she's regaining her strength while simultaneously making Sakura waste hers."

"And you're positive about this?"

Nicholas shrugged. "It's a theory."

"Smart theory." Kyra said. "That's exactly what I'd do in her situation."

"My point exactly."

For about the fifteenth time Sakura tried attacking Ayame only for the other girl to block her. Ayame had barely moved since the match had started and Sakura needed to change that. A moving target may have been difficult to hit, but a stationary one was irritating. Sakura was beginning to lose her focus. But the question was how to make Ayame move.

An idea came to Sakura after trying to hit Ayame one last time. She then moved around to Ayame's front and raised her staff up high. Predictably, Ayame raised up her own to block. Grinning in satisfaction, Sakura suddenly knelt down and swept her leg around, knocking Ayame's feet out from under her. Ayame fell onto her back but instinctively rolled away, knowing that Sakura would try bringing her staff down on her. When Ayame jumped back to her feet she immediately had to move out of the way as Sakura was already upon her. Sakura wasn't going to give her time to stand her ground now. Ayame would have to think of a new strategy.

As the tempo of Sakura attacking and Ayame dodging continued, the two girls began to lose focus as they devoted all of their attention to attacking and dodging. Soon they had completely forgotten that they were on a raised platform and suffered for it. At one point Ayame was standing at the very edge of the platform without realizing it as Sakura came at her. She stepped backward to move out of the way and ended up falling over the edge, barely able to catch it before falling into the muck. Sakura, having tumbled over as well, did the same. Both having one firm grip on the ledge and the other on their staffs, they began swinging at each other while dangling there. With no way to protect themselves, they kept taking hit after hit from each other until one of them eventually gave out, Sakura running out of strength and letting go to plummet into the rancid liquid below.

"And we have a winner!" Chris announced as the intern in the hazmat suit went to help Sakura. "How do you feel about your victory, Ayame?" Without a word, Ayame dropped her staff and flipped off Chris before letting go of the platform, allowing herself to fall down into the muck. "Well, that was unexpected. Still, Ayame is victorious! I'll see all of you losers at the bonfire tonight!"

"Hey, Chris!"

Chris turned around to find two interns approaching him, dragging Harper along by his arms. "We found him while we were digging up Chef. What do you wanna do with him?"

Chris grinned evilly. "Throw him in the grinder!"

"No! No! Not the grinder! Anything but that!" Harper pleaded. "… What's the grinder?"

At that point, the interns promptly threw him into the pool.

All three of them surfaced at the same time, Harper with a rotten banana peal on his head. The two girls took one look at him and started laughing. "Yeah, yeah, very funny." Harper grumbled.

"Hey, you don't get to complain." Ayame snapped as the interns helped the three of them onto dry land. "You ran off like a sissy when you had to fight Sakura."

"You realize that with what Chris had planned, she would've killed me, right?" Harper pointed out.

"I would not have. That's all in the past now."

"But what about the way you were attacking Ayame in the ring?" Nicholas asked as he, Kyra, and Tak approached, all three holding their noses.

"You really think we're that immature?" Sakura questioned. "You boys may hold a grudge, but Ayame and I have put our problems behind us."

"I think that was a sexist comment. Was that a sexist comment?" Nicholas asked, turning to Tak.

Tak just glared at him. "You realize I'm still pissed at you, right?"

"Uh… Alakazam!" Nicholas threw something down on the ground and a puff of smoke went up. But when it cleared he was still there. "Oh, right… I'm supposed to run when I do that." And then he did.

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Nice to see you all here." Chris said as the eight campers took their seats around the bonfire. Nicholas and Tak were sitting on opposite sides of the fire and while Dylan and Allister sat next to each other, Allister was completely ignoring Dylan and anything he did to try to get his boyfriends attention. Otherwise, everything was normal. "Now let's get right down to business." Unlike usual, Chris had the tray of marshmallows hidden in his podium. He pulled one out and tossed it to Ayame. "Here's your immunity. And I think I'll also give some to… Nicholas, Dylan, Allister, Kyra, and Tak!"

Harper and Sakura looked at each other, nodded, and then turned back to Chris. They waited as he stood behind his podium with a stupid smirk on his face, rather than his signature grin. Suddenly his expression changed to that of annoyance. "Well?"

"Well what?" Sakura asked.

"What are you waiting for?" Chris questioned.

"For you to give out the last marshmallow." Harper explained.

"I already did." Chris said, drawing outrage from Sakura and Harper and curious looks from the rest. "What? Did I forget to mention that whoever came in second place today **also** goes home? My mistake." *troll face*

"You rat bastard." Sakura growled, clutching her fist, but she didn't make a scene. Harper and Ayame gave each other a goodbye kiss and Sakura hugged Kyra and Ayame. With that, they both begrudgingly left the island, Chris and the remaining six watching in silence.

Once they were gone, Chris turned back to those who remained, his face grim and menacing. "I hope this has taught you all a valuable lesson. Don't. ***CENSOR***. With. Me." And with that, Chris got up and left too.

The remaining six stayed behind for a while, all thinking the same thing but not saying it at first. Finally, Kyra spoke up. "We need to get him back."

"Definitely." Tak agreed.

* * *

(**A/N**) yeah, I know, short chapter, but in all honesty I just wanted to get this done tonight. despite my previous enthusiasm about this challenge I found that it kind of deminished in between writing the two parts. so if this chapter seems a bit rushed, dont be surprised.


	30. Panic Manor

Episode 29: Panic Manor

"You smell that, Steve? That's the smell of victory!"

"Smells like you used too much hair spray. I think I need a gas mask."

"Sorry, that's not in the budget."

As they reached the end of the Dock of Shame, Steve set up his camera and turned it on, giving Chris the signal to begin once he'd taken his place in front of it. "Last Time on Total Drama Dynamite… I had my vengeance and it was sweet. Our remaining eight campers were put into the Chris's revenge tournament, competing for invincibility. In the first match, Allister and Dylan were paired against each other. For funsies, I showed some video clips that showed Dylan having a little too much fun for Allister's liking while at Playa Des Losers. Needless to say Allister was infuriated and attacked his boy toy in a blind rage. However, this ultimately cost him the game as he ended up tripping off of the platform. Next Sakura and Harper were paired together, but Harper, having seen what happened to Dylan and Allister, ran off like a sissy girl, forfeiting the match. Tak and Nicholas were next and, once again, I showed some clips that turned theses good friends against each other. Apparently Nicholas broke the Bro Code, and he paid for it. Next, Ayame and Kyra went against each other. With nothing to really drive them apart with, I let them duke it out without incident and Ayame won. In the semi finals, Dylan and Sakura went against each other first. Again, there were no clips but Dylan surprised everyone with how skilled he was in the arena. Still, he was ultimately defeated. Tak, still on his rage high from his fight with Nicholas, showed Ayame some stiff competition but was beaten as well. Just as I had planned, Sakura and Ayame ended up in the final match and boy did I have fun with that. I showed them clips from the previous episode, in which they were trying to decapitate each other, and they went at it so hard that last weeks episode ended up topping that nights ratings! Ayame emerged victorious, claiming invincibility, but ended up taking a dip anyway. At the bonfire ceremony that night, Harper was sent home because he was, for lack of a better term, a pussy. However, in a twist, Sakura was also sent home for coming in second place! Fun, eh?

"Today…" Chris stopped as a fierce wind suddenly kicked up. Steve turned the camera around to find a chopper coming their way. On the side of the helicopter was a logo which read "Teletoons." The chopper hovered over the Dock of Shame as a ladder dropped down, a man in a business suit climbing down it and handing Chris an envelope before the Chopper flew away. Glancing over to Steve in confusing, Chris opened the envelope and skimmed its contents. "Well… it appears we have to relocate!" He grinned devilishly and quietly (and evilly) laughed.

~LATER~

Dylan yawned as he awoke, suddenly sad as he realized he was alone in the bed. He and Allister still weren't on good terms. No matter how many times he tried to explain that what he'd seen on the video hadn't actually happened, Allister wouldn't believe him. He had seen it, plain as day, why should he doubt it. "Maybe because Chris is evil and he should trust me." Dylan groaned as he sat up, rubbing his eyes.

Something was wrong. He didn't bump his head on the underside of the top bunk like he usually did. He opened his eyes to find that he wasn't inside the cabin. He was inside what appeared to be a private room at a very swanky hotel… from the Victorian era. His bed was a four-poster and the only other furniture in the room was a small table next to his bed, a dresser on the other side of the room next to the door, and a chair which sat in front of a fireplace. There were no lights in the ceiling, in fact there wasn't even a light switch or, as far as he could tell, a wall plug. "What in the blue hell…"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Did I hitch a ride on the Doctor's TARDIS or something?" Dylan asked to the camera, which was now on top of the fireplace mantle, aimed at the chair in which he sat. "I could have sworn that I was on Wawanakwa Island last night, not in Victorian London."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

After getting dressed Dylan exited his room, finding himself in a hallway with a total of seven doors, three on each side and one at the end, the other end leading down a stairway. The other five remaining competitors entered the hall from one of the other five doors lining the hall soon after he did and together they descended down the stairs. Five floors down, they came across the mansions foyer, a large pair of double doors leading out of the mansion with windows reaching from floor to ceiling on either side. Adjacent to this wall were doors leading into other rooms, the one on the right closed but the one on the left open and with light coming from it. They entered this room to find themselves in a dining hall, finding a long table with three chairs spread out evenly on the long sides. At the head of the table was a swiveling chair in front of the fire place. "Have a seat." called an all too familiar voice from that chair.

The six teenagers took their seats just as Chef entered, wheeling a cart with six silver, covered trays sitting upon it. He set a tray in front of each of them. Whatever was under the cover, it smelled heavenly. As Chef left, the swiveling chair turned around to reveal Chris sitting there, wearing a formal suit, a top hat, and a monocle, a pipe in one hand and a ruby topped cane in the other. "Welcome to our new shooting location, McClain manor." He announced. "Please, eat. I think you'll find it quite enjoyable."

As the teens lifted the covers to their trays their eyes bulged and their mouths watered, for before them sat all of their favorite meals. Steak and potatoes, lobster, barbequed ribs, everything, and it wasn't much later that Chef returned, setting a massive bowl of Caesar Salad in the center of the table. "Is this all to your liking?" Chris asked.

"You have no idea." Kyra said as she forked a heap of salad onto her plate.

"Excellent. Now let me explain why we're here." Chris said. "Back in episode two, your challenge was to make your way out of the old Wawanakwa Mines. Well, as fate would have it, what they were digging for in those mines was uranium." Everyone stopped eating, some in the middle of chewing, and looked at Chris with eyes the size of dinner plates. Chris chuckled. "Relax. None of you have radiation poisoning. But, according to our legal team, we had to get you off of the island immediately. This is why we're here, at my old family manor in Newfoundland."

"So… are we having a challenge today?" Tak asked.

"Indeed, you are." Chris grinned. "Once everyone is finished eating, you'll be sent on a little scavenger hunt. Your goal is to find the McClain family jewels which are hidden somewhere in this manor. Sound simple enough?" Everyone nodded. "Good. But you might want to be quick about it. You see, legend has it that there's a bit of a curse on McClain Manor ever since the family jewels went missing. People not of the McClain clan tend to… disappear if they're here too long."

"Yeah right." Ayame laughed.

"No, I'm completely serious. You see, I was born here. My parents weren't married yet and there was a terrible blizzard outside. My father had to deliver me himself. Unfortunately, because my mother didn't have the McClain name she… simple vanished the following night. It's all in this news paper." He tossed a News Paper onto the table. Dating back to the seventies, the front page story was the disappearance of Ethel Christianson, fiancé of George McClain and new mother of Chris McClain. "So, yeah, you might want to be quick about it… seeing as how you've already been here for about…" he pulled out a pocket watch and flipped it open. "Six hours."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I seriously doubt the legitimacy of Chris's story." Nicholas said. "But in all honesty, I'm not going to take a chance. Good thing I got my lucky rabbit's foot." He smiled and patted his leg where his pocket would be, but then his smile disappeared. "Crap."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Without another word the six teens stood up and walked out of the room, bursting into a run once they were out of Chris's sight and splitting off into on their own ventures once on the second floor. Chris could barely hold back his laughter until they were gone. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and hit a few buttons. "Hey, Steve… Yeah, they fell for it. Suckers… You know it. Cue the death traps."

~ELSEWHERE~

"Of all the creepy places in all the creepy mansions in all the world, I had to walk into this one." Kyra grumbled to herself as she slowly stepped into what she assumed had been someone's private study. What was it about private studies in Victorian mansions that were so creepy? Other than the suits of armor on either side of the fire place, the stuffed heads of big game animals mounted above it, the smell coming from the books on the shelves which covered one entire wall, and the paintings hanging everywhere with eyes that seemed to follow you there was nothing wrong with this room. "Relax, Kyra." She told herself. "That story was just Chris trying to freak you out…"

Then she heard a noise, like a wailing coming from the fire place and she froze up. When it stopped she took one timid step towards it before it happened again.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"And he succeeded."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

When the noise came again Kyra decided that she'd had enough and power-walked over to the door. She grabbed onto the handle and tried pulling it open only to find that it wouldn't budge. "What the hell?" she tried again with no better luck. "What kind of door locks from the outside?" she demanded.

Then the wailing came again and she turned around as the bricks at the back of the fire place began to rise. To her relief, but also annoyance, Nicholas stepped out. "Huh, so this is where it leads. Oh, hey Kyra! Did you know that there secret tunnels and stuff around h—" He stopped and ducked out of the way as Kyra chucked a book at him. "Hey! What was that for?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she demanded. "You scared me half to death!"

"I didn't know you were in here!"

"Well what was that noise you were making then?"

"It's dark in there." Nicholas said flatly. "I kept running into the wall which, if you haven't heard, hurts."

"Whatever. Turn around, you're leading me through there."

"Like hell I am. There's a door right there!"

"Locked. From the Outside."

"Are you serious?"

"I wish I wasn't."

And so Nicholas stepped back into the fireplace, Kyra holding onto one of his shoulders as he led her through. They were unaware, however, that they were being watched the whole time. Not by the eyes in a picture, but by a camera hidden in the eye of a stuffed lions head on the mantle. In the control room Steve the Camera Guy chuckled and cracked his knuckles. "All right. Time to make some cinemagic!"

~ELSEWHERE~

"Al, will you just listen to me?"

"Go away."

"C'mon!"

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Why do you believe Chris? He's evil, remember?"

"You were caught on camera, Dylan. There's no denying it."

"He's in the film industry! He can make anything with enough money! All of those clips could've been CG for all we know, or at least an actor that looked a lot like me."

"How convenient. An actor who looks exactly like you."

Dylan groaned. Why was Allister being so stubborn? Four days ago they had been in a happy relationship and now Allister wanted nothing to do with him! Had Dylan actually done anything wrong he would've understood and been out of Allister's hair, but he didn't do anything wrong. Allister was smart, he should be able to realize that those clips were fake and they were just Chris's attempt to drive them apart! But whatever, Dylan knew the truth and he wasn't going to give up on Allister. Even if he had to annoy his boyfriend to the brink of insanity, Dylan wouldn't give up on him.

"C'mon, Al. Listen to me. Please!"

"Why? So I can listen to you lie some more? No thanks. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some jewels to find."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Maybe he should be looking for his marbles instead." Dylan grumbled.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"You know I'm not leaving you alone until you listen to me."

"Don't care, now go away."

As they continued down the hallway, they turned a corner and Allister stopped at the first door, opening it. Inside was yet another guest room, but something was odd. The floor was ceramic tiles, unlike the rest of the rooms they'd seen so far which had either hardwood or carpet. What was even more out of the ordinary was that Allister didn't see any cracks between the tiles. It was odd, but didn't seem dangerous in any way. Dylan was still talking behind him and, figuring that he could slam the door in the other boys face, he stepped inside…

… and was immediately sucked into the floor.

"Al? Al!" Dylan ran into the doorway but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the floor rippling. "The hell…" He placed his finger on the floor of the room and, sure enough, it sank right in. Whatever the floor was made of it, the substance started as a gelatin like solid but turned into a liquid when people touched it. "Where have I seen this before?... No time to think about it now! I'm coming, Al!" Without a moments hesitation Dylan jumped into the strange solid-liquid, sinking in after Allister.

~ELSEWHERE~

Tak and Ayame were currently out in the garden, or what remains of what was once a garden that is. All that was out back of McClain Manor was dead trees, weeds, and statues of weeping angels… and fog so thick they could barely see three meters in front of them. They figured that the garden was as legitimate a place as any for the possible hiding place of the jewels.

"You know, even if the jewels are out here I doubt we'll find them in this fog." Ayame said.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Dry ice and a bucket of water." Steve said the camera. "Best fog machine substitute ever."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"You're probably right." Tak Agreed. "Any idea which way the mansion is?"

They both stopped and took a look around. All they could see was the path of weed infested bricks they'd been walking along and a line of statues on either side. There was no denying it. They were lost. "Well, this is a fine kettle of fish." Ayame said.

"What?"

"Never mind. Let's just turn around and keep following the path. I'm sure that we'll find the manor eventually.

"I'm pretty sure we made some turns along the way." Tak pointed out. "What if we forget where we turned and end up going the wrong way?"

"How big could the estate be?"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"At least a hundred acres." Chris chuckled.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

The two started walking along the path, going back the way they came. Soon however, just as Tak had predicted, they realized that they were lost. To make things worse, paranoia was setting in and they thought they were being watched. "Of course we're being watched." Ayame said, not sure if she was trying to convince Tak or herself. "Chris has cameras all over this place."

"That's not what I'm talking about. There's someone out here… or something." As Tak spoke he turned around slowly, as if he knew he'd spot whatever was following them. And, sure enough, he did. "Yep. Something. Definitely something."Ayame turned around to see what he was looking at and was shocked. Lining either side of the walkway was a row of weeping angel statues. But now the faces of at least the six nearest statues behind them, which had once been hidden in their hands, were looking directly at them. "This is not good." Tak said.

"Why aren't they moving?" Ayame asked.

"Don't know. Don't care. I say we run."

"Yeah, running sounds good."

The two turned around to run but stopped almost immediately. Four more statues had come to life ahead of them and were now blocking their path. They didn't move either, for whatever reason. Ayame looked over her shoulder briefly. The six that had been looking at them previously were now coming at them, arms outstretched, but it was like they froze the second she laid eyes on them. "Tak, we're surrounded. What do we do?"

"Running sounds good." Tak suggested.

"We tried that already."

"Do you have a better idea? It's not like I happen to have a sledgehammer on me."

Ayame hesitated before making a decision. "Okay, running sounds good."

They ran off the side of the path, Tak looking over his shoulder one last time to check on the statues. All ten were now chasing them, arms outstretched. "It's like they can only move when we're not looking at them." He said as he turned back.

"Well this fog is screwing us over then, isn't it?" Ayame pointed out.

~ELSEWHERE~

"Yeah, this is not where I came in the first time." Nicholas said as he and Kyra finally exited the tunnel. "Looks like we're in the basement now."

"More like a crypt." Kyra said.

What Nicholas called a basement did, indeed, seem more like a crypt. The doorway they stood in lead into three different tunnels, one on either side and one straight forward. The floor was damp, almost every doorway was arched, and there were cobwebs everywhere. The two on the sides just led deeper into what was undoubtedly a labyrinth of a tunnel system, but the one ahead of them only led into a single room. There were some bad omens about this door, however. It was made of solid iron and was barricaded shut by three iron bars set through clamps across the door. They could simply pull the bars loose and open the door from their side, but anyone inside was trapped. "Hm… lost or scary door. Tough decision, eh?" Nicholas asked.

"You wanna go back?" Kyra suggested.

"And miss a chance to piss myself in pure terror? Not a chance!" she thought he was joking, but he walked forward. "Let's see what's behind door number one."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Of all the people for me to be stuck with, it had to be the guy that walks towards the creepy door." Kyra groaned. "I'm done with television after this show."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Against her better judgment, Kyra followed Nicholas to the door and helped him remove the barricading bars. "How much you wanna bet Chris's good twin brother is chained up behind here?" Nicholas asked.

"Don't you mean evil twin?" Kyra asked.

"Nope."

They both laughed.

They removed the third and final bar and Nicholas pulled the door open. It was dark inside; pitch black in fact. Nicholas pulled a lighter from his pocket and flicked it on. Kyra glared at him. "Why didn't you use that while we were in the secret tunnel?" she demanded.

"Continuity error." Nicholas said.

They stepped inside and began looking around. The visibility provided from the lighter was dim, but enough to allow them to see that the things crunching beneath their feet were bones. Bones from small animals, likely rats, but bones nonetheless. They moved slowly, Kyra grabbing Nicholas's hand out of sheer instinct. Nicholas noticed this, but didn't say anything. She was just scared. It wasn't long before they found something both interesting and bone chilling at the same time: a coffin.

"This day just keeps getting better and better!" Nicholas exclaimed.

"What is wrong with you?" Kyra demanded.

"I was dropped on my head as an infant now help me open this thing!"

"Open it! Are you insane? There's probably a body in there! I don't care if you're not terrified, at least show some respect for the dead!"

"We're on TV, remember?" Nicholas pointed out as he gripped the lid. "This things' probably fake anyway."

"Still."

"Then hold the light!"

He handed the lighter off to her and gripped the coffin lid again. It was heavy, but he managed to flip it over. Inside was, as expected, a cheep Hollywood replication of a corpse. "See. It's made of rubber and PVC pipes." He said, poking at the head.

"But those aren't." Kyra said as she reached into the coffin at the body's feet Nicholas couldn't see what she was grabbing at first, but his eyes bugged out when, in her hand, she saw a necklace of pears and at least fifteen small rubies, emeralds, and sapphires. "I think I just claimed victory. What do you say to that, Nick?"

No response.

She stood up, holding up the lighter as she tried to broaden the light's reach. "Nick? Nicholas? If this is some kind of sick joke I swear I'm going to kick your nads into your lungs." Then she saw something move quickly out of the corner of her eye, but when she turned to see it was gone. "Nicholas, I'm not joking." She slowly started backing up towards the door, seeing brief glimpses of movement in the dim light. When only a few feet from the door she heard a noise behind her, a combination of a baby's chattering a cats mewing. She looked over her shoulder and when she saw what it was she screamed.

~ELSEWHERE~

Tak and Ayame stood back to back, exhausted. They were completely lost in the fog and every time they thought that they'd lost the living angel statues they turned back around to find more in front of them. They had no idea how many of these statues were chasing them and they had no intention of finding out. The sooner they found the manor the better. "I don't know about you, but I don't think I can keep running like this." Tak said. "Especially with all the fog. Got any ideas."

"You got a sledge hammer?" Ayame asked.

"No."

"Then no."

"Well, nice knowing you then."

"C'mon, this has to be one of Chris's tricks, like when we spent the night on Bony Island. As soon as there's only one of us left he's going to show up laughing and congratulate the last survivor."

"Said the terrified girl hopefully."

"Do you remember how intricate he was in that challenge? This has to be exactly the same!"

"Last time he had people in seaweed suits and a ghostly hologram. These things are straight out of the twilight zone or Buffy the Vampire Slayer or… Doctor Who! How could he possibly pull off statues that only move when you're not looking at them?"

"You might want to ask them yourself." Ayame said. Only a few meters away from her stood one of the angel statues, standing there looking at her with it's arms at its sides.

"I've got three on my side." Tak said. Ayame looked over his shoulder to confirm but before she could even look back something grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled her away. She screamed as she was dragged away. "Ayame? Ayame!" Tak called out and he swung around looking for her. The angel statue was gone now, and when he turned back around the three that he'd been watching were gone as well. But now he heard something… clapping?

"Bravo, bravo." Chris said as he appeared through the fog, clapping his hands together. "For the first time that I can recall, the black guy is not only the first to die in the horror movie, but he's the only survivor!"

"What is wrong with you? You scared the hell out of me! I damn near pissed myself!"

"Correction. You did." Chris pointed out. Tak looked down and, sure enough, the crotch of his pants was soaking wet. "But look on the bright side, you've got immunity."

"I thought we were supposed to be looking for the McClain family jewels." Tak said.

"Nope. Just another survival challenge. Now, if you'll follow me we'll retrieve the others and I'll be happy to explain everything."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I'm going to kill him. I swear to got I'm going to kill him." Tak growled.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Groaning, Dylan opened his eyes. His vision was blurred, but after blinking a few times he was focused enough to find Allister kneeling over him. "Well, hello beautiful."

Allister slapped him across the face.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you know how scared I was? You nearly drowned!"

"Is very confused." Dylan said as he sat up. After a quick look around, he found that they were in the control room with Steve the Camera Guy. Nicholas, Kyra, and Ayame were there as well, all still trembling but with anger rather than fear. "Yep. Chris was behind everything."

"Hey, I'm still worried over here!"

Dylan smiled. "Yeah… yeah you are."

"Seriously you nearly drowned." Allister scolded. "What were you thinking, jumping into that stuff? When you didn't fall through the trap door Steve had to jump in and save your dumb ass! And what the hell are you laughing about? This isn't funny!"

"You weren't that mad." Dylan said between laughs.

"What?" Allister questioned.

Dylan lay back down, forcefully pulling Allister on top of him. "You weren't that mad." He said with a smile before placing a small kiss on the other boy's lips. "Let me guess, you knew Chris was just being a dick but there was still that lingering doubt that the clips were real. That's why you've been acting like an idiot for the last few days, isn't it?"

Allister furrowed his brow. "Shut up." He said and he laid his head on Dylan's chest, snuggling up to him. "Let's just forget it, okay?"

Dylan smiled. "Sounds good to me."

At that point the door opened and Chris and Tak stepped in. "You!" Nicholas, Kyra, and Ayame all shouted as their attentions snapped to their direction.

"Yes, it's me, you're lovable torturer! I hope this has driven any ridiculous thoughts of revenge out of your heads, because now you know I can always get you back ten fold." Chris said with his signature grin. "Now here's how things are going to work: I'm going to explain how everything worked, and then we're going to take some ATVs back to camp where you will be given a meal. Then you will vote and later we'll all meet at the bonfire where one of you will be sent home. Sound good."

Begrudgingly, they all nodded.

"Okee-dokee. Let's see here… Dylan and Allister, you sank into the floor of a trapped bedroom. I believe that the floor was made of a material created by combining water and corn starch. It's solid at first, but at the touch it turns into a liquid. That's why you fell in. Tak and Ayame, the weeping angels that were chasing you were robots controlled by Steve from this very room. Every one of them had cameras in their eyes and when he saw that you were looking at them, he simply stopped their movement. As for you two, Nicholas and Kyra, the _creature_ that captured you was no more than an intern in a ninja getup. All he did was suffocate you with a rag long enough to knock you out."

"What about the noise I heard?" Kyra questioned.

"That was just a recording to freak you out."

"Well it worked." Kyra grumbled.

"What about that body we found? What was it supposed to do?" Nicholas questioned.

"Body? What body?" Chris asked.

"The one in the locked room in the crypt."

"There's actually a body down there? I thought that casket was empty!"

"Wait… that body was real? I touched that thing!"

There was a brief silence. "Okay… so, here's the plan. I'm going to have some interns sterilize Nicholas and then we're heading back to camp. Sound good?"

The six campers nodded.

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Here it is. The last marshmallow." Chris said from his podium, looking down to Dylan and Nicholas who sat before him, marshmellowless. "So, who's it gonna be? No one really did anything that makes them worthy of being voted off this time, but someone has to go home… Dylan… you will not be receiving a marshmallow tonight." Dylan hung his head and Allister patted him on the back. "If it's any consolation, man, you only got two votes."

So, Dylan and Allister kissed one last time before Dylan stood and walked away to the Dock of Shame, waving over his shoulder as he left. Without a word, but with a smug grin on his face, Chris left as well, clearly proud of the work he'd done that day. The others stayed behind, sitting around the fire.

"So what do you guys think?" Tak asked. "Should we try to get him back?"

"I don't think we have to." Kyra said.

"What makes you say that?" Allister asked.

Kyra dug into her pockets and pulled out the jewels that she and Nicholas had found in the coffin. "You actually grabbed them?" Nicholas asked, shocked.

"Wait, you guys actually found his family jewels?" Ayame asked. "I thought he just made that up."

"Apparently not." Kyra said, grinning.

They all grinned. "I think revenge has been had." Allister said proudly.


	31. Physical Fitness From Hell

Episode 30: Physical Fitness from Hell

"No, Carly, I can't legally adopt you… Why? Because your mom and dad would kick my ass all the way back to Newfoundland, that's why!... Hey, you should just find a job and get over it. You're lucky they're only making you pay for gas. I had to buy my own car and pay for gas and insurance at your age… How is that not fair? You want something, you've got to work for it. That's how the world works!... Oh my god, this cousin of mine is going to drive me insane. Look, Carly, I've got filming to do in less than five minutes, so I'm going to hang up… No I can't get you a job on set! We've only got four episodes left to shoot! You should've called like eight weeks ago if you wanted a summer job. Besides, you don't want to work for me. I'd make your life a living hell. Ain't that right, Steve?"

"Oh yeah. Total hell." Steve agreed as he set up his camera on the Dock of Shame. "Pitch fork up the ass and everything."

"Too far, Steve." Chris said. "What was that, Carly?... Uh huh… yeah… okay… I hate you too, Cuz… bye-bye." Chris hung up his cell phone and groaned. "God! She is so annoying! Can you imagine actually working with her?"

"Only in an alternate universe where the show is filmed on an orbiting satellite, all of the contestants are superheroes, and Chef is green." Steve said.

Chris just cocked an eyebrow and, after a brief pause, said, "That's stupid. You're stupid. Just roll the camera already."

"Yes, master." Steve said, trying to imitate the voice of Doctor Frankenstein's hunchbacked assistant. He then turned on the camera and they began filming.

"Last Time on Total Drama Dynamite… We made up some bogus story about uranium or something being dug up in the old Wawanakwa mines and an excuse to temporarily relocate the show to the old McClain Manor. Naturally, we told them it was haunted, something about no one outside of the McClain bloodline being able to stay the night in the manor and live to tell the tale. I challenged them to locate the McClain family jewels before sunrise, but the actual challenge was to survive the longest while under threat of man eating floors, creepy secret passageways and a hidden crypt, and Doctor Who reverences. In an unforeseen twist on the horror genre, a black guy was the only one to survive and Tak won the challenge. That night, at the bonfire ceremony, Dylan was forced to leave the island for… well, no specific reason really but someone had to go.

"Today, I've decided to take a more direct approach with torturing our five remaining contestants. How direct, you ask? Find out today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" The usual morning explosions went off along the beach and Steve shut off his camera.

"Cut. Print. Terrifying." Steve said flatly. "You need to see a therapist, man. What happened to the days when the torture and sadism were subtle?"

"You know, I think I left the subtlety somewhere back between Are-You-Seriousville and Get-Realsburg."

~INSERT THEME SONG~

"Chef, its days like this that make me love my job."

"This is going to be some good fun, isn't it?" Chef agreed, chuckling.

"So how long do you think they're going to last?" Chris asked.

"I'd say at least three of them drop out before lunch."

"Who said we're giving them lunch?"

The two men laughed, images of what they were about to put their minions through going through their heads. Chef was wearing his drill sergeant uniform and Chris wore an identical one. They stood upon the top of the thousand foot cliff, looking down to the camp were the unsuspecting teens slept soundly. They had no idea that their day was about to begin with a very rude awakening.

It was five in the morning.

With a trumpet in hand, Chef took a deep breath and placed the instrument to his lips. Chris then put his megaphone, which was also hooked up to the camps PA system, in front of the trumpet as Chef began to play.

Down at the camp everyone immediately sat bolt upright in their beds at the sound of Chef's trumpet coming from every speaker on the island. Nicholas hit his head on the underside of the bunk above him and fell back onto his bed with a yelp. Tak and Allister would have laughed if they weren't still dead tired. The three boys reluctantly pulled on their clothes and stepped outside, Kyra and Ayame joining them quickly, and they began to march toward the mess hall. However, when Tak reached out and grabbed the handle of the door, he found it was locked. "What the hell?" he grumbled.

"Not so fast!" came Chris's voice over the PA system. "You're going to have to earn your breakfast today."

"You've got to be kidding me." Kyra growled.

"So, let's get started with the challenge then, shall we? How about a ten kilometer run around the island?" Chris suggested.

When none of them started running, Chef took the megaphone and yelled into it, "Last person to complete the run doesn't get to eat! And if you all don't start running in the next five seconds, none of you do!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"It's for a hundred grand. It's for a hundred grand. It's for a hundred grand…" Nicholas repeated to himself in the confessional.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"C'mon, maggots! Move it! Move it! Movie it!" Chef shouted as he followed the five campers along the beach on an ATV, Chris on another ATV right along side him. "I've seen evolution go faster that you lot! If Chance hadn't got the boot in the first episode he would've left you all in his dust! Get your butts in gear, people! I don't know, but I've been told!... Sing it!"

Reluctantly, the five went along with Chef. "I don't know, but I've been told." The all sang in unison.

"Chris McClain is gettin' old!"

"Chris McClain is gettin' old."

"Hey!" Chris protested.

"You're in your thirties, bro. Get over it." Chef said.

~TWO HOURS LATER~

Chris and Chef failed to mention that, after running the ten kilometers, they still had to run half way around the island to get back to camp and Chef had no intention of letting them rest… even after getting back to camp. As soon as the five campers entered the Mess Hall Chef immediately yelled, "Push ups! Now!" All five groaned, but complied and dropped down, lifting their bodies up while balancing on their toes. While Chris watched and gave his sadistic grin, Chef went back into his kitchen, coming back with four bowls of oatmeal in hand. "You all earned this." He said as he placed the bowls in front of Kyra, Tak, Ayame, and Allister. They all gave him a questioning look before figuring out that they were supposed to eat while doing push ups.

"What about me?" Nicholas demanded.

"You came in last, skinny boy! You don't deserve food!" Chef barked.

Nicholas groaned but continued with his push ups.

"Now then, I suppose it's about time that I explained the challenge." Chris said. "Today's challenge is very simple. The five of you are going to be put through rigorous, nonstop exorcise until all but one of you has dropped out which you may do at any time. Last person still going wins immunity. Got it?"

As soon as Chris had finished speaking Nicholas collapsed on the floor and began snoring.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Screw the hundred grand!" Nicholas said, glaring at the camera. "I'm tired, hungry, and, more importantly, lazy."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"I guess you guys got it." Chris chuckled after Nicholas passed out. "Anyone else care to join him?" The others simply continued doing push ups and eating. "All right then. Finish up here and we'll move onto the next part of the challenge.

It wasn't long before Ayame, Take, Kyra, and Allister all finished eating at which point Chef allowed them to stand up. However, as soon as they were on their feet an intern tossed a jump rope to each of them. "Well? What are you waiting for?" Chef asked. "Start jumpin' rope!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Remember in episode two of season one, when Gwen said that the awake-athon was the most brutal thing she's ever done?" Kyra asked. "Well, yeah, I think this trumps the awake-athon."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

As the four contestants jumped rope, as instructed, Chef led them to the beach where they found four ropes… suspended from a helicopter hovering fifty feet above the ground. "All right, drop the jump ropes and get to climbing." Chef instructed.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take." Tak said as he grabbed onto one of the ropes and began pulling himself up.

"Ready to give up?" Ayame called from the rope next to him with a smirk.

"Not a chance!" Tak snapped back.

"Does anyone else think it's kind of a bad idea to be doing this under a helicopter?" Allister asked. "I mean, wouldn't a tree branch or something have been a lot safer?"

"This is Chris we're talking about." Kyra said.

"Point taken."

Meanwhile, in the cockpit of the helicopter, Steve the Camera Guy was lounging around, flipping through a dirty magazine. The chopper was set on auto pilot, keeping it suspended in the air and stationary without Steve having to man the controls. As Steve flipped the page, he lifted up his leg and set his foot down on the dashboard, accidentally hitting the off switch for the autopilot. An alarm went off, startling Steve and he looked down to a flashing off sign. He went to grab the controls and steady the bird, but they snapped in half the second he touched them. "Damn budget cuts." He groaned as he threw open the cockpit door and jumped.

Back outside, "Anyone else feel that sharp jerking motion?" Kyra asked.

All four looked up to find the chopper falling out of the sky and Steve diving out of it. "That can't be good." Allister groaned.

"See you in the afterlife!" Steve called to them as he plummeted down into the water.

Halfway between the water and the falling helicopter, the four teens followed Steve's example and let go of their ropes, diving into the lake. As the teens plunged under the surface, the chopper hit the water with a thundering crash, causing a large wave to wash over the shore. Allister was the first to resurface, and as soon as he'd caught his breath he shouted, "That's it! I'm done!"

The interns came out on a boat to pick up Allister, but immediately pushed the others back into the water when they tried to climb in as well. "What the hell?" Tak demanded.

"You're still in the game!" Chef called from shore with a megaphone. "That means no rest! You gotta swim back here!"

"Oh come on! We almost died!" Ayame complained.

"Irrelevant!" Chef shouted. "Now swim over here and I want to see some jumpin' jacks the second you hit dry land!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Jumping jacks? I'll show him jumping jacks!" Ayame snarled at the camera. "I'll jump on him and jack his face up!"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"You are all pathetic! I have never seen a more worthless bunch of soldiers in my life! Why don't you all go crawling back home to your mommies!" Chef barked these and other insults at the three soaking wet teenagers as they did jumping jacks on the beach.

"At least it can't get any worse than this." Ayame grumbled quietly to Kyra.

"What was that, maggot?" Chef shouted, getting up in Ayame's face.

"Nothing sir! Nothing at all!" Ayame said nervously.

"I don't think so. I think you said it can't get any worse. We'll guess what…"

~THIRTY SECONDS LATER~

"It can. Hit play, Chris man."

Chris chuckled before hitting the play button on the boom box. All three contestants immediately recognized the song and knew the dance that went along with it. "Thrilla! Thri-illaaaa!" Chris sang along.

"Seriously? We're dancing to Michael Jackson? You're really run out of ideas, haven't you?" Tak questioned as he and the girls began to dance.

"Dancing is some of the best exorcise you can get boy. And Michael Jackson happens to be one of the greatest musicians every to grace the public with his voice." Chef said.

"Not to mention he spiced up the early 2000's with the pedophilia trials." Kyra pointed out. "You can relate, can't you, Chris?"

"Hey, Lena admitted to forcing herself on me and all charges were dropped… after that week with a GPS strapped to my ankle. Damn, that thing itched. And Chef's right. There's a reason they call Michael Jackson the King of Pop."

"Now quite all your complainin' and keep dancing. After this break, we get back to work."

"This is out break?" Tak demanded.

"We said you wouldn't get a chance to relax." Chris said.

A few minutes later, "Thriller" came to an end and all three of the remaining contestants dropped to their knees. Ayame and Kyra both complained about their arms and legs pounding, but Tak rubbed his throat. "Damn I'm thirsty." He choked.

"Need some water, eh?" Chef asked. "All right, then. Time for sit ups. You'll get one sip of water for every one you do." He clapped his hands and three interns came over with glasses of water in hand. With reluctant groans, Tak, Ayame, and Kyra all got onto their backs and proceeded to lift their upper bodies up and down, taking a sip of water with each completed sit up. But something always goes wrong…

Only a few minutes into their sit up session, Ayame started choking on her water, having taken too big of a sip. "That's all I can take. Consider me out." Ayame coughed after regaining her breath.

Both Tak and Kyra collapsed as soon as Ayame said she was done, both thinking that their sit up session was over. And it was… but something much, much worse was in store for them. "All right you two, it's time to decide the winner." Chef said. He snapped his fingers and two interns walked over to the two teenagers. Still lying on the ground, the interns strapped ten pound weights to their ankles and then helped them to their feet. Two more interns came over carrying buckets, the contents of which smelled like gravy and freshly cooked meat. It turned out that that's exactly what it was, but to Tak's disappointment the interns proceeded to dump the buckets over them.

"Was there a point to ruining my favorite shirt?" Kyra asked.

"Yes there was." Chef said.

Chris then pulled up on an ATV, a cart attached two the back carrying some sort of large box hidden under a tarp. Whatever was under that tarp sounded alive… and not too friendly. "Now let me explain. Chris said. He removed the tarp, revealing a cage underneath with two very large dogs inside. They looked like a mix between wolves and mastiffs. "These two dogs are very hungry. You two are drenched in meat and gravy. Do the math." Both Tak and Kyra gulped. Chris grinned. "I suggest you start running, because we're going to send them after you in about… now."

Tak and Kyra took off running for their lives, the weights not slowing them down, as the interns opened the cage doors and unleashed the beasts within. One of the dogs snarled and both leapt out of their cage, galloping after the sent of their next meal.

"You know we're going to be in a lot of trouble if they actually get eaten, right?" Chef asked as he walked up to Chris.

"Relax. We've got shock collars on them. They're like sad puppies when we use those."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"I hate Chris, I hate Chris, I hate Chris, I hate Chris…" Kyra repeated this over and over as she slowly rocked back and forth in the confessional outhouse.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

When Tak heard the barking behind him he completely forgot about the unbearable throbbing in his legs and shifted it into high gears. Without thinking he turned onto the Dock of Shame, mentally chastising himself when he realized he'd just trapped himself. _Unless…_ Tak looked over his shoulder, finding that the dogs hadn't yet caught sight of him and, without a second thought, jumped into the lake… completely forgetting about the extra twenty pounds strapped to his ankles. He just barely managed to swim back to the surface before passing out.

When Tak resurfaced, he still heard the barking and saw one of the dogs sniffing on the beach. The other was probably chasing Kyra. He sighed, thinking he was home free so long as he didn't drown, but then something caught his eye. Something was sticking out of the water, something thin and gray, about a foot tall… and coming at him alarmingly fast.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Yeah, I forgot about those fresh water sharks." Tak groaned.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Son of a bitch!" Tak screamed as he started swimming for his life, two fresh water sharks coming after him, licking their lips.

Meanwhile, Kyra was still running for her life, one of the dog's only meters behind her. She didn't know when she'd gone into the woods and didn't much care, considering that she was more worried about not becoming dinner. She could feel the weights slowing her down and knew it was only a matter of time before the dog caught up with her. _Think, Kyra, think! Dogs are fast and they can track you almost anywhere. What can they not do?... Got it!_ She came to a sudden halt for only a second, glancing around until she found a tree with a low enough branch. Hearing the dog's barking coming nearer, she grabbed onto the branch and pulled herself up into the tree. With all her strength she lifted up her legs, cursing the weighted straps, and wrapped her legs around the branch.

Unfortunately, before she could pull herself any further up, the dog came out of nowhere and clenched its teeth down on the back of her pants. She screamed so loud that she couldn't even hear her pants tearing. Finally the last threads snapped and the dog fell to the ground, her jeans still in its mouth, and Kyra was able to escape higher up in the tree. She took a few minutes to catch her breath before realizing, first, that she had no pants on, and second, Chris was now standing next to the dog, which was eating her pants, at the base of the tree. Kyra did her best to cover her underwear before shouting down to her tormentor. "What… the hell… you jack ass!"

"You're still in the game, Kyra." Chris advised. "And from the looks of it, you're trapped. You might want to consider, you know, waving the white flag." Kyra didn't respond. Only her heavy breathing was audible. "We'll gladly put Butch here back in his cage. And it looks like he's still hungry." Chris pointed down to the massive dog, which belched as it had just finished ripping up and eating Kyra's gravy soaked pants. "What do ya say?"

Kyra groaned.

Elsewhere, Tak had managed to escape the sharks by climbing up the thousand foot cliff. Between the straps on his ankles and his soaking wet clothes, the weight alone made this the most difficult thing he'd done in his life. But he was only a few feet from the top, and if he made it there alive he could die a happy man… or at least that's what he thought until he actually got there and found the dog waiting for him, growling and drooling. "Screw it. I've had enough of this place." Tak grumbled as he pulled himself onto the cliff and then fell onto his back, waiting for the dog to sink its teeth into him.

But then he heard the dog whining. "Down, Cassidy. Good girl." Painstakingly, Tak opened his eyes and found Chef standing there, with the dog now on a leash. Behind the large man were Chris, who had his signature grin, and Kyra, who wasn't wearing pants for some reason. "Congratulations, soldier. You've won our physical fitness challenge." Chef complemented.

With all of the strength he had left, Tak put up his arm and raised his middle finger to Chef and then passed out.

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

Tak and Kyra were both lying on the ground in front of the fire, sleeping contently while Nicholas, Allister, and Ayame sat on the logs behind them and Chris stood behind his podium with a tray of marshmallows. "So, I understand that you are all very tired." Chris said, sounding almost sympathetic… keyword: almost. "So I'll be bringing the marshmallows to you tonight. Not much of a peace offering, but one none the less." He picked up the tray and walked over to Tak, setting a marshmallow down in front of him. "Job well done, Tak. That's two challenges in a row that you've one." Tak just let out a loud snore, almost as if responding in his sleep. "Allister, Ayame, you're both safe as well." He handed them each a fluffy sugar ball.

"Now then. Nicholas, you were the first to drop out today. In fact, compared to the others you're down right pitiful. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if you got the boot tonight for that alone… however, Kyra came in second place. She's a significant threat, and we're to the point of the game where it might be a better idea to get rid of the stronger competitors. So, the person going home tonight is…"

Nicholas yawned. Allister and Ayame just blinked. Tak and Kyra continued snoring. None of them seemed that interested.

"…Kyra."

The blonde snorted in her sleep, as if she'd heard him. Two interns lifted her up by the arms and dragged her off to the Dock of Shame. "So," Chris said, "we're down to the final four. And Ayame's the only girl left… this should be interesting."

~BOAT OF LOSERS~

Kyra lay on a bench at the back of the boat, still sleeping soundly, as Chef started it up and pulled away from the dock. As they began to go faster, something woke the girl up. She sat up and stretched her arms, yawning, before noticing that she was on the lake. "Guess I got the boot, eh?"

"Yep." Chef said.

She yawned again. "No big. I couldn't stand one more minute of that place after today."

"Yeah… hey, sorry about putting you through all that. We took every precaution with the dogs and Steve says that the helicopter was an accident… and Chris decides the challenges. I just have to play along."

"Yeah, yeah." Kyra said. "It's okay. I already got Chris back a hundred times over anyway."

"How so?"

"Remember the family jewel B.S. from the last challenge. Well it turns out that he wasn't completely making the story up." Kyra explained. She found her bag and reached inside, pulling out a handful of the valuables she'd stolen. "I'd say we're pretty much even.

Chef just laughed.

* * *

(**A/N**) so yeah, not much at all in the way of character developement this time. this chapter was all about the challenge. I think it mightve been a bit rushed, but Im happy with the outcome. so I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. quick warning, the next two challenges will definitely be one parters, but I promise that the finally will come in 2 parts.


	32. The Most Dangerous Game

Episode 31: The Most Dangerous Game

"Got any witty banter we can do today?" Chris asked Steve the Camera Guy was he set up his equipment.

Steve looked up from the tripod he was setting up and gave Chris a questioning glance. "Come again?" he asked.

"Well, this is the morning recap shoot and normally we'd have some kind of witty banter going right about now, or at least some kind of set up to events that happen to me later in the episode. But I'm at a loss right now. You got any ideas?"

"Chris you're saying it like its mandatory or something." Steve said.

"Well, it kind of is." Chris said.

"Never got that memo." Steve said as he screwed down the camera.

"C'mon, man! This is our set formula! We do some witty banter, do the recap shoot in the middle of said banter, and then wrap it up after the shoot is over. We've been doing it exactly like that the morning of every third day for over two months!"

"I hear you, and agree." Steve said. "All I'm saying is that I don't seem to recall when it became mandatory."

"Whatever, let's just do the shoot."

"Gladly." Steve said as he got the camera rolling and gave Chris the signal to begin.

"Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… Our final five campers went through the Physical Fitness from Hell challenge, in which they were subjected to rigorous, endless, and in some cases lethal exorcize. After a ten kilometer run, Nicholas dropped out immediately upon learning that he could. Next, we had our campers climb ropes… that were suspended from a crappy helicopter. There was a… let's say an accident and Steve had to abandon ship, causing the chopper to crash into the lake, nearly killing the four remaining campers. Thankfully, no one was hurt but Allister gave up right then and there. Once the other three had returned to shore, Chef immediately demanded sit ups, allowing them one sip of water per completed sit up. Well, Ayame choked on her water and forfeited. With only two left in the game, we decided to raise the stakes a little bit. Long story short, we covered Kyra and Tak in meat and gravy and set the dogs loose on them. Kyra ended up in a tree with her pants ripped off, so she gave up, making Tak the winner for the second challenge in a row!

"Today… you know what, I'm not even going to sugar coat it. I just feel like torturing them some more… Yeah… Total… Drama… Dynamite!" The annual explosions went off and Steve turned off his camera.

"You know what I just realized?" Chris asked.

"Do I want to know?" Steve inquired.

"We had our witty banter."

"We did?"

"Yeah. We had our witty banter about why we have witty banter."

"Well… I don't care."

~INSERT THEME SONG~

Ayame yawned as she stepped through the doors of the Mess Hall, finding Allister and Nicholas already there, sipping on coffee or something as they waited for Chef to finish burning breakfast.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"You know, as surprising as this might be, it's not so bad being the last girl left on the island." Ayame said to the camera. "Allister has actually been a really good friend. I've been talking to him about stuff I normally wouldn't even consider telling a guy… And amazingly Nicholas hasn't been a completely sexist pig. He hasn't even pointed out that I'm the only girl left… But someone else has."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

By now Chris had entered the Mess Hall and was going through some papers, as usual, and Allister, Nicholas, and Ayame were getting up from their table as Chef announced that breakfast was ready to be served. But just as Allister reached to grab his plate, Tak burst in, kicking open the doors and announcing himself. "The fun has arrived, y'all! Make way, victory train coming through! Tak is in the house!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Yeah. Him. Tak has won the last two challenges and well… he's become a bit of an asshole. He's so confident that he's going to win that he's rubbing it in our faces already. And he's constantly reminding me that I'm the only thing on the island with ovaries. He's become such a jerk that Allister, Nicholas, and I have formed an alliance against him. We're planning on booting him off tonight."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Hey there, mister Future-Total-Drama-Dynamite-Champion!" Chris said enthusiastically before he and Tak high-fived as Tak walked by. "Ready for the big challenge today?"

"You know it, Chris, man." Tak agreed as he got in line with the others.

"You really want to eat Chef's nasty food? Why don't you come eat with me and the crew? We have scones!"

"Did you say scones?" Tak asked with a smirk. He and Chris walked out of the Mess Hall, heading off to the crew's quarters for their morning meal. Ayame and the others just stood there watching, completely flabbergasted.

"Chris is doing this on purpose." Ayame said.

"Oh yeah." Allister agreed.

"What the hell's a scone?" Nicholas asked.

"They're European pastries, and they're delicious." Allister half growled.

"Why am I not surprised that the gay guy knows this." Nicholas chuckled, to which Allister punched him in the arm, hard enough to send the message but not enough to actually hurt him.

"I'm bisexual, jackass."

~LATER~

"All right, everybody! It's time for the third to last challenge of the season!" Chris announced as he lead the four remaining campers to the edge of the woods. Chris was dressed in an unusual outfit. He wore what could only be considered the outfit of a big game hunter from Africa back when Great Britain still ruled half the planet. Shorts which were rather too short for a man by today's standards, heavy leather boots, a heavy overcoat with lots of pockets, and a fairly solid hat with a wide brim. All of this except for the boot was the color of dead grass. He even had a monocle to make the illusion seem complete.

"Is this another survival challenge?" Ayame asked.

"You know it. Today's challenge is based on the world famous short story, _The Most Dangerous Game_! I'm sure you've all read it." Only Allister nodded. "What? Isn't it mandatory in most high school English classes?"

"I'm from Japan." Ayame said. "For me, English class was actually learning the language."

"Never read it in my English class." Tak said.

"My class did, but I was too busy not caring to actually read it." Nicholas said.

Chris scoffed. "Kids these days. Don't appreciate the classics. For those of you who haven't read it, _The Most Dangerous Game_ is the story of a man who finds himself stranded on an island owned by a man named General Zaroff. Zaroff is a retired big-game hunter… well, semi retired. He only goes hunting for a single kind of game now. The most dangerous animal of all… man! Zaroff agrees to let the man stay on his island, but only if he can survive Zaroff hunting him. Muahahahahah."

"So you're going to hunt us with paint guns." Allister said.

"Oh no. This is the real deal!... Well, as real as it gets. I didn't want to use paintballs but we obviously can't use bullets and legal says that tranquilizers would be breaching your contracts. So, I will be using this!"

Chef pulled up on an ATV, stepped off, and handed Chris a long, wide barreled weapon that looked like a bazooka. "Observe." Chris said. Without even aiming he pointed the gun at Chef and pulled the trigger, sending a net flying out of the end and trapping Chef where he stood. Chef toppled over, struggling to free himself. "A net gun. You four will be given a ten minute head start, and then I will be following you into the woods with this baby and that ATV. I will hunt you down and capture you individually and the last person standing wins the challenge. Got it?"

"Yeah. What I don't get is why you haven't just given me my prize money already. I've got the next three challenges in the bag!" Tak said.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Think again, buddy." Nicholas said.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Hey, Chris, I gotta gas up the four-wheeler before we get the game started." Chef said after freeing himself from the net. "Be right back." He then sped off, disappearing around the corner of the Mess Hall.

"Yeah, okay." Chris said. He then moved over to Tak and started talking to him, calling him Mister Champion and filling his head with delusions of premature victory. To anyone else Chris's sarcasm was obvious, but Tak's head was so far up his own butt at the moment that he couldn't spot it. He was actually being blinded to Chris's tricks by his own ego. Ayame, Nicholas, and Allister took this opportunity to set up a plan to insure Tak wouldn't win again.

"So how are we doing this?" Nicholas asked.

"Some one needs to keep an eye on Tak. Make sure he' not the last one standing." Allister suggested.

"Definitely." Ayame agreed. "Whoever doesn't go with him should stay together too… so who's drawing the short straw?"

"I'll do it." Nicholas volunteered. "He's a bro. I'll be able to tolerate his massive ego… at least longer than you guys could."

"Thank you." Both Allister and Ayame said.

Just then Chef pulled back up on the ATV and jumped off, allowing Chris to hop on. "All right, my prey, get moving! You've got ten minutes before the fun begins." After a few brief seconds of hesitation, all four made a mad dash for the tree line.

"Hey Tak!" Nicholas called as he struggled to keep up with his more athletic friend. Tak slowed down a bit for him to catch up. "Hey, what do you say we stick together until Ayame and Allister are out of the game? You know, watch each others backs."

Tak laughed, almost so snobbishly that Nicholas almost wanted to hit him. "Dude, if you're scared of coming in last again then just say so. I mean, there's no way you're going to outdo me. But yeah, I'll watch your back so you can come in second."

Nicholas was trembling as he forced himself to smile, grinding his teeth. "Great… thanks buddy."

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

Nicholas sat in the confessional outhouse, still shaking and grinding his teeth. "Must resist urge… to kill… again…"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

So the campers slit into two duos. When they came to a fork in the path, Allister and Ayame turned to the left, leaving Tak and Nicholas to take the right.

~TWO MINTUES LATER~

"Has it been ten minutes?" Chris asked.

"Eh, close enough." Chef shrugged.

"Excellent." Chris chuckled, grinning darkly. He pulled a CD case from a bag hung over his shoulder and placed it into the CD player on the ATV. He then looked at the back of the case. "Let's see… track…nine! All righty then! Just set that to loop and…"

"What what's with the music, Chris?" Chef asked.

"Let's just say I want them to know I'm coming." Chris chuckled again. He hit play on the CD player and then, as he revved the ATV's engine and began his hunt…

"Breaking the law! Breaking the law!... Breaking the Law! Breaking the law!..."

~THE WOODS~

"So what do you think Payton is up to right now?" Tak asked as he and Nicholas walked along the forest path.

Nicholas shrugged. "Being probed by the aliens that Chris is sending us to when we're eliminated?" he suggested.

"Hey, I don't want to hear the word _probed_ in any sentence involving my girlfriend." Tak chuckled, punching Nicholas in the arm. "Wait, I see what you're doing." Tak continued, a thought suddenly coming to him. "You're trying to make me lose my focus! Dude, there's a reason that Chris has been calling me Mister Champion. I've got this challenge in the bag. The next two too. I'm sorry for your luck, but hey, maybe it'll be you and me in the final two."

Tak suddenly felt his feet lifting off the ground as Nicholas rushed at him, tackling him to the ground. Tak had no idea what was going on and struggled against his friend as, with his hand placed firmly over Tak's mouth, Nicholas dragged Tak behind a tree facing away from the path. "Hold still and shut the hell up." Nicholas ordered. Tak did as he was told and, suddenly, he could hear it.

"Breaking the law! Breaking the law!... Breaking the Law! Breaking the law!..."

The two boys remained perfectly still and quiet behind the tree as Chris rolled on by on his ATV. "Could've sworn I heard voices." Chris mumbled to himself. "Maybe this music is messing with my hearing… or scaring the game away… all well. Great stuff!" He revved the engine and moved forward along the path a little faster. Once he was far enough away, Nicholas released his grasp on Tak and they stepped back onto the path.

"Thanks, bro." Tak said. "I owe you one… but why'd you save me though? You could've just hid yourself and let him take me."

"That's what bros do." Nicholas said with a grin.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"That and I still need as scapegoat. No way Ayame and Allister were captured yet."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

With that the two boys started walking in the direction opposite from the one Chris just went, but before they'd taken ten steps Nicholas felt something suddenly wrap around him and, unable to move his legs, he fell to the ground. He cursed, realizing that Chris had turned off the music and snuck up on them.

"One down!" Chris announced he began reloading his net gun.

"Sorry bro! I still owe you one!" Tak called over his shoulder as he ran off, getting away before Chris could reload.

Chris jumped off his ATV and walked over to Nicholas, kneeling down next to him and placing his hand on the boys shoulder. "Hey, Nicholas… how does it feel to know that Tak is going to win… again?"

"You son of a… you're setting this up!" Nicholas suddenly realized. "You're trying to make Tak win!"

"Just to spite the rest of you." Chris laughed.

"I will claw your eyes out… with a rake!" Nicholas snarled.

Chris just laughed again, but made a mental note to lock up the boat house and tool shed when the game was over. "Well, someone's angry… and making rather effeminate threats."

~ELSEWHERE~

Ayame and Allister sat in the old, decrepit cabin that they had found in the challenge in which Chef had brought in his old military buddies to hunt them down. They quietly conversed with each other while both of them sat at one of the two doors, keeping an eye out for Chris. "I am so glad I remembered this place." Allister said proudly.

"Yeah." Ayame agreed. "So what do you think Harper and Dylan are doing right now?" she asked.

Allister almost made a joke about being probed by aliens which Chris was probably sending all of the eliminated contestants to, but decided against it. "They're probably just sitting by the pool at Playa des Losers talking about what we're doing right now." He suddenly cringed as some memories came back to him. "I hope they're not going into too much depth."

"You two boys been doing some naughty stuff, have you?" Ayame joked, causing Allister to blush. "Oh, don't worry. Harper's still pretty shy. He wouldn't cross any lines, and would probably change the subject if Dylan did."

Allister nodded, but continued blushing. "I guess you're right."

Ayame decided to change the subject. "So we're really booting Tak off the island tonight, huh?"

"So long as he doesn't win again." Allister agreed. "I mean, he's a good friend and all, but the arrogance he's had the last few days. I'd rather go through the Phobia Factor challenge again than sit through another three days of Tak's _Der Fuehrer_ attitude."

"Totally." Ayame agreed. "Plus he is a significant threat at this point."

"Aren't we all?" Allister asked. "You and Tak are both physically superior, but me and Nicholas are cleverer. Just depends on the challenge really."

"Did you just call me stupid?" Ayame questioned, jokingly.

"No, I'm just saying that I'm smarter." Allister joked back.

They both laughed, and then sighed as they started to relax a bit. "Too bad that Tak is leaving tonight, though…" Ayame said. "He has the cutest butt left on the island."

"I disagree, but I'm not saying who I think does."

"Well I'm flattered." Ayame chuckled, half joking and half thinking she was right. "I wonder how Dylan would feel if he found out you said that."

This time Allister laughed. "Are you kidding? He's the one that pointed it out."

"I thought Dylan was gay." Ayame pointed out.

"He is, but that doesn't mean he can't appreciate hot when he sees it."

Ayame was about to comment back, but she stopped as she heard something off in the distance.

"Breaking the law! Breaking the law!... Breaking the Law! Breaking the law!..."

"You hear it too?" Allister asked. Ayame nodded. "Chris?"

"Oh yeah."

With no doors to close, they both moved away from the doors and against the walls where Chris would have the least chance of spotting them. The TV host pulled up in front of the old cabin on his ATV before pausing his music. He sat there for a moment, listening carefully for something before speaking. "Little pigs!" he called out. "Little pigs! C'mon out or burn that place to the ground!"

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Damn it Chris. That would've been funny if you'd stuck with the actual line." Allister said.

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Allister and Ayame sat in silence, calling his bluff, thinking that Chris would think they weren't actually there and leave if they waited long enough. Unfortunately, Chris also called their bluff. Before long Ayame and Allister could smell burning wood. "Oh my god! He's actually doing it!" Ayame shouted. She and Allister scrambled to their feet and ran out of the cabin screaming. Ayame managed to get away, but Chris was able to catch Allister with his net gun.

"And that's two!" Chris grinned. "And for the record, I wasn't actually burning the cabin down." He said, pointing out a pile of burning sticks and brush. "Do you know how many lawsuits that would shove up my ass? I'd probably get charged with attempted murder."

~ELSEWHERE~

After sprinting for a solid three minutes, Ayame finally stopped to catch her breath, hiding behind a bush for cover. She could hear Chris's music, but it was faint and off in the distance. She was safe for now, but Chris would sniff her out sooner or later. She had to keep moving. Still breathing heavily, Ayame started walking deeper into the woods. It wasn't long before the music started getting closer. Becoming a bit paranoid, Ayame began walking backwards, trying to spot Chris before he spotted her.

The Japanese girl suddenly screamed as she backed into someone, whoever it was screaming as well. She swung around finding that it was Tak. They both went still and silent, listening for Chris's music, and they both sighed as they realized that it was getting farther away. "You scared the hell out of me." Ayame said quietly.

"Likewise." Tak said. "Looks like it's just me and you now."

"Yep." Ayame said.

"Sorry about your luck then."

"Excuse me?" Ayame demands, fed up with Tak's attitude. Before he can even respond, she goes off on a rant. "Do you know how much of an asshole you've been the last three days? Barely a sentence has left your mouth without it being full of arrogance and the presumption that you're going to win every challenge for the rest of the show! I mean, seriously, Tak. You're ego is bigger than Chris's right now! The rest of us can't stand it anymore! Why do you think we're booting you off the island at the bonfire ceremony tonight?"

"You're booting me off tonight?" Tak questioned.

Ayame suddenly realized what she'd just said.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Did I say that out loud?" Ayame asked the camera.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Have I really been that much of an ass lately?" Tak asked the camera. "They formed an alliance to kick me off the island… But I'm everyone's friend… And me and Nicholas are bros!"

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Tak didn't know what to say. He didn't know whether to blow up in her face like she had him or to just stew over what she'd said. But just as he thought he'd found the right reaction, his mind went blank as he and Ayame heard the sound they'd been dreading.

"Breaking the law! Breaking the law!... Breaking the Law! Breaking the law!..."

"Oh crap." Ayame growled.

The two looked over to a nearby, from behind which the music was coming from. They heard a revving and then Chris, now wearing a helmet, shot up and over the hill on the ATV at top speed, flying off of the top and over Tak and Ayame's heads, doing a flip in mid air and landing perfectly on the wheels. After coming to a stop, Chris stepped off of the ATV and removed his helmet… revealing that it wasn't Chris at all. It was some guy with short blond hair. The real Chris emerged from the woods and took the helmet from him as the guy walked off.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Stunt doubles." Chris said with a grin. "Gotta love 'em."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

Just as Chris got back on the ATV and pulled out his net gun, Ayame and Tak shook out of their awestruck trances and started running. It was too late though. They were close enough that Chris could take his time aiming for Ayame and pulling the trigger, sending the net flying at her just as she was about to dive down the other side of the hill. The net missed her, but not by her own fault.

Tak had stepped in its way.

"What are you doing, dude?" Chris demanded. "I've spent this entire challenge trying to insure your victory!"

"Let's just say I'm tired of winning." Tak said as he struggled against the net on the ground.

"Whatever." Chris said. "Looks like Ayame is today's winner!"

Once Ayame had gotten back to her feet, she went over to Tak and knelt down next to him, helping him out of the net. "Why'd you do it?" she asked. "You could've won."

Tak shook his head. "You were right. I've been a complete jerk the last few days. I need to get off this island… I need to see Payton. If nothing else she'll set me straight." Ayame nodded and helped him to his feet. "Do me a favor, though." Tak continued. "Don't tell Nicholas and Allister… and still vote for me."

She nodded again. "No problem."

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"One marshmallow left, lady and gentlemen." Chris announced, having already tossed the other two to Ayame and Nicholas. "Allister… you didn't get a single vote." He tossed the final marshmallow to the aforementioned teen. "It's unanimous this time. Tak is going home."

"You voted for yourself?" Nicholas asked. "Why?"

Tak just shrugged as he got up and started towards the Dock of Shame. "I guess I had an epiphany." He said as he waved over his shoulder.

Everyone waited until the Boat of Losers had left the dock, and then Chris, Nicholas and Allister left for their cabins. Allister noticed that Ayame remained seated, however. "You coming, Ayame? I think we could all use some rest after today."

"I'll be there in a bit." Ayame said. "I'm just going to relax by the fire for a bit."

Allister nodded and continued back to his cabin.

Once Allister was gone, Ayame got up and walked over to the shore, watching the Boat of Losers as it drifted further away from the island. "There goes the cutest butt left on the island… man, I miss Harper." She grumbled.

Suddenly, Ayame felt a vibrating in her pocket and pulled out her phone. She's received a text message from Harper. This surprised her, considering that she'd gotten absolutely horrible service on the island up until now, but she currently had five bars. She opened the text and it read, _What's going on, Sweetheart?_ Ayame liked it when he called her Sweetheart. It seemed less like a pet name and more like a term of endearment. She texted back, _Feeling Lonely, Cheer me up._ A few seconds later, she received another message. _How Lonely._ She thought this was an odd question, but responded, _You have no idea how much I wish you were here right now._ The next text from Harper took longer to receive. She thought Harper was just taking a few minutes to type a long message, but was surprised when her phone said that the next message came with a picture. Curious, she opened it. Her eyes went wide as dinner plates and her face flushed red for a moment, but then she grinned devilishly. "Dirty boy…"

~BOAT OF LOSERS~

"So why was Chris trying to help me win?" Tak asked Chef as he drove the boat across the lake.

"Heck, I don't know." Chef replied. "I don't know why he does half of what he does… Oh, by the way, Payton wanted me to give you this when you got the boot."

Tak stepped forward and took a piece of paper from Chef. It was folded like a letter, but there was no envelope. Opening it, he was confused when he read it. "I have a craving for some chocolate? What the heck Payton? That stuff makes you crazy!"

"I don't think she's talking about candy." Chef pointed out.

"Oh… Oh!" The hidden meaning behind the sentence suddenly came to him, but then he realized something else. "Wait a minute. Chef, you read this?"

* * *

(**A/N**) sorry this chapter took so long, the only good excuse I have is working on my term paper for my government class. otherwise it was just me being lazy. but Ive decided to buckle down and I wrote a good majority of this chapter in one afternoon (though I wrote out a summary beforehand). also, now that Im on spring break I promise that I will get another chapter of this up before the week is over. that being said, Im putting all of my other stories on hiatus until Total Drama Dynamite is complete. You can expect the final chapter of TDD up on the 27th of next month, which just so happens to be my 18th birthday. regardless of when I finish writing it, that is when Ill be posting the final chapter of TDD, so you may actually get new chapters of other stories beforehand. if that does happen, that means Ive finished the final chapter and Im just waiting to post it as a birthday present to myself.


	33. Catch Chris

(**A/N**) Im sorry for how short this chapter is and if it seems lackluster. Im also sorry that I didnt get it up when I said it would but... its been a rough week. You see, four of my classmates went to florida for spring break and they never made it back. I was at four funerals within two days last week, as were most of the people in the town I live in. I wasnt close friends with these guys, but all the same I wanted to pay my respects and I still do. So, Id like to dedicate this chapter to Alexx, Riley, Evan, and Matt. Rest in peace guy.

* * *

Episode 32: Catch Chris

"So, the final three, eh?" Steve asked.

"Yep." Chris agreed.

"Who would've thought it would come down to Hit-Girl, Emo-Boy, and Captain Sarcasm?"

"The writer."

"Excuse me?"

"Uh… c'mon! Hurry up and set up the camera! We don't' have all day!"

Rolling his eyes, Steve quickly set his camera up on the tripod. Having already looked over his notes for the morning recap shoot, Chris stood in front of the camera, on the edge of the Dock of Shame, and began after Steve gave him the signal.

"Last time on Total Drama Dynamite… With only four campers remaining, it was time get the ball rolling and see just how vicious those who remained could be. Tak had won the previous two challenges, so I, being the lovable rascal that I am, inflated his ego ten fold and convinced him that he was pretty much guaranteed to win. The others didn't take too kindly to this and banded together to boot him off the island. The day's challenged was based off of the classic short story, _The Most Dangerous Game_. In other words, we sent the campers into the woods and I went in after them with a net gun. The first to go was Nicholas, who thought that he had outsmarted me. The next little pig to go was Allister, who I had hidden in the old cabin with Ayame. I… coerced them out into the open (with fire) and managed to get Allister before he got away. With only two left, I called in the stunt guy to do something awesome and then set my sights on Ayame. In an unexpected twist, thought, Tak took the hit, lost the game, and was sent home in a unanimous vote.

"With only three left, its time that we decided who will be the finalists competing for the one hundred thousand dollars. Who will be the rest out of the best? Find out today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" The annual explosions went off along the beach and Steve shut off the camera.

"So what exactly did you mean by writer?" Steve asked as he folded up the tripod.

Chris pushed the camera guy over the edge of the dock and into the water. "Hey, Chef! We need a new camera guy!"

~INSERT THEME SONG~

After finishing breakfast, Chris instructed the three remaining campers to follow him down to the beach. As he had done in season one, Chef prepared an all you can eat pancake breakfast for the final three and, also like in season one, most of them had been crusted with dirt and toe nail clippings. Allister, Nicholas, and Ayame ate the few that looked edible, about two each, and Chef ended up feeding the rest to the raccoons. After everyone was finished, they followed Chris down to the beach where they found the set up for the days challenge. Four ATV's and what appeared to be three net guns sat in front of them. Confused, Allister asked what everything was for.

"Yeah, we kind of ran out of challenge ideas so we're just reversing the last challenge today." Chris explained. The looks on the camper's faces told him that they didn't quite understand, so he decided to dumb it down for them. "I'll make this simple. These are net guns." He tossed each of the teens one of the aforementioned weapons. "These are ATVs." He climbed onto the four-wheeler farthest from the trio. "First one to catch me wins!" He announced as, shaking his rear at them, he revved the engine of the ATV and sped off down the beach.

Without hesitation Ayame jumped on the second ATV and went after him.

Nicholas and Allister, however, stayed behind, plotting their plan of action. Chris obviously had something on his sleeve and they didn't want to risk charging in guns-a-blazing like Ayame. After a few minutes of silent, thought, they both said, "Bingo!" simultaneously. They glanced at each other awkwardly before Nicholas said, "I take it you've got a plan."

Allister nodded. "You too?"

"Yep."

Awkward silence.

"Well… I'll be taking off." Allister said as he hopped on his ATV. "See you in the winners circle!" he called over his shoulder as he took off. Nicholas just shrugged, stuffed his hands in his pants pockets, and started walking towards the Mess Hall.

~CONFESSIONAL CAM~

"Don't ask me. I have no idea what that was all about." Nicholas said. "It might be that we realized that we were plotting against each other… or it could be the fact that I farted… I dunno."

~END CONFESSIONAL~

"Good. I think I lost her." Chris said as he came to the halt in a clearing in the woods. Ayame had been on his tail and keeping after him pretty well, but some quick maneuvering and heading into the woods allowed him to lose her. "Time to check the insurance policy." He chuckled darkly as he reached into his shirt's chest pocket He pulled out a small device with a screen and an antenna. Turning it on, a map of the island appeared upon the screen and three red dots and a green dot in the very center began to flash upon it. The red dots represented the campers and moved along with them, thanks to GPS devices secretly attached to their ATVs. From the looks of it, Ayame was well on the move tracking him. Allister's was moving as well, but much more slowly and in an odd pattern. "What's this kid up to?"

~TWO MINUTES EARLIER~

"I knew it!" Allister exclaimed as he looked underneath his ATV. Held by a magnet to the bottom of his vehicle was a GPS tracking device. He pulled it off and sat down with his back against the vehicle. "I knew Chris was up to something… but I can't let him think I know what's going on… what to do?"

Something caught Allister's attention in the corner of his eye. It was a small gray rabbit. An idea suddenly came to him and he got down on one knee, placing the GPS next to him as he slowly held out his other hand to the animal. "Come here, little guy… yeah that's right. I won't hurt you." The rabbit cautiously moved closer to him one step at a time until it was close enough for Allister to gently pick it up and hold it in his arms. He scratched it under the chin. "You're a cutie, aren't you? Hold still now." Cradling the rabbit with one arm, he pulled a loose string from his shirt with the other and picked up the GPS. Placing it against eh rear leg of the rodent, he tied them together with the string before setting it back down. "Go on. Get going." The rabbit hesitated for a few seconds before hopping off into the bushes, the GPS securely tied to its leg. Allister laughed. "That ought to throw Chris for a loop. Now to find the sneaky bastard."

~ELSEWHERE~

Chris cocked an eyebrow as he noticed that Allister's tracker started moving very slowly and in an unusual pattern, but he forgot about this as he noticed that Ayame's was closing in on him. He heard the girl yell "Bonsai!" in the distance before taking off, disappearing further into the woods.

~MESS HALL~

"Hey, Chef. I'm going to need a few things for the challenge today." Nicholas said as he stepped into Chef's kitchen. The man was at the counter, using a cleaver to chop apart some kind of meat which looked rather good compared to what the campers usually eat. "Dude, is that our dinner tonight?"

"No, this is for Chris, me, and the crew." Chef responded without even looking at him. "Now what do you want?"

"Right. I'm going to need some wood, like big slabs of plywood, and a shovel."

"Are you planning to tie the wood to your arms so you can jump off the cliff and fly over Chris before dropping down and hitting him over the head with a shovel?"

"No."

"Then it's all in the boathouse."

"Thanks Chef."

With that Nicholas left and headed to the boat house. Chef chopped another cut of meat off the slab before him as he heard the Mess Hall doors close. "I should keep an eye on him. Could be funny."

~ELSEWHERE~

Allister slowly cruised along a path in the woods. It was eerily quiet, not even the sound of birds, insects, rustling leaves, or the wind disrupted the silence. "This is creepy." Allister mumbled to himself. "Almost like a scene in a horror flick right before the monster bursts out and kills the cute but expendable character." He suddenly noticed a camera mounted in a nearby tree and looked directly at it. "Shut up."

He started moving forward again, but almost as soon as he hit the gas Chris and Ayame went barreling in front of him across a path with crossed with his. As he went by, Allister heard Chris shout over his should, "You can't catch me, I'm the Ginger Bread Man!" Allister just shook his head and said, "What is it with Chris and nursery rhymes these days?" before following after them.

Allister and Ayame both chased Chris down the winding and swerving path, drifting along curves with both of their net guns at the ready to take down the insane TV host. "This calls for some music." Chris chuckled as he hit play on his CD player. His favorite Queen CD was in and one of his favorite songs started blasting front the Speakers and he sang along. "'Cause I'm having a good time! Having a good time! I'm a shooting star, leaping through the sky like a tiger defying the laws of gravity!"

Ayame started laughing. "Oh my god! You actually like Queen, Chris?"

"What's wrong with Queen?" Allister called from behind her. Ayame answered him, but he didn't pay attention as he was planning ahead. There was one more curve left before the path opened up back onto the beach, but before that the path split, and the second path also opened up onto the beach a ways ahead of the other. Making a quick plan, Allister ditched Ayame and Chris and took the other path. As Chris came to the end of his path he drifted along the edge of the beach, almost tipping over his ATV but he managed to correct himself and race down the beach as Ayame burst from the tree line and continued after him. They continued their chase along the beach, Chris singing "I'm having a good time" the whole way, as they neared the entrance to the other path. But at that moment Allister emerged from the tree line and aimed his net gun directly at Chris, pulling the trigger. Almost in slow motion, the net emerged from the barrel and opened up. But almost as if he were in the Matrix, Chris bent backwards and the net passed right over him, catching Ayame and knocking her off of her ATV instead.

Chris sang as he got away from his pursuers. "Two hundred degrees! That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit! I'm traveling at the speed of light! I wanna make a supersonic woman of you!"

Allister came to a halt at the edge of the water and jumped off of his ATV, running over to help Ayame. "Are you all right? I didn't mean to do that." He exclaimed as he helped Ayame out of the net and onto her feet. Without a word Ayame pointed two fingers at her eyes and then pointed her index finger back at Allister before jumping back on her ATV and following after Chris. Allister just stood there for a moment, thinking. "Maybe I should take a more subtle approach." He said before getting back on his four-wheeler and leaving in the opposite direction.

~THE BEACH~

"What the heck is this kid doing?"

"I dunno, Steve man… He's just… digging." Chef answered. The two men were sitting in front of the Mess Hall, watching Nicholas as he dug a meter wide and deep trench across the beach, from the shore to the tree line. He had two large pieces of plywood leaning against the nearby trees.

"Does this have anything to do with the challenge?" Steve asked.

Chef just shrugged. "Ten bucks says he gets the boot tonight."

"You're on!"

"What's on?" Nicholas asked as he walked over to the two men. They hadn't even noticed him walk over and when they look at where he'd been working they found that his trench was gone.

"Uh, what happened to that thing you dug?" Chef asked.

Nicholas smirked. "Grab some popcorn. You'll want to see what happens."

~ELSEWHERE~

"Don't stop me, don't stop me! Have a good time, good time! Don't stop me, don't stop me! Ohhhhhhh!" Chris seemed to be having the time of his life as Ayame chased him all around the island. Ayame was pursuing him like a starving lion, determined to catch a meal. As the rounded a curve on the beach, the camp came into view on their right, and neither of them knew that the challenge was about to end.

As Nicholas sat contently against a tree, humming a tune to pass the time, he suddenly heard a couple of ATVs nearing and grinned. "Hey Chef, Steve, get out here. You're going to want to see this!" The Cook and Camera Guy came out upon the teens request and stood next to him as his plan unfolded.

Meanwhile, just passed where Nicholas had dug his trench, Allister had perched himself in a tree with his net gun, thinking a more subtle approach would help him claim victory. He could already hear Chris coming, likely being pursued by Ayame, and he planned on aiming at a precise spot and waiting for just the right moment to pull the trigger on his net gun and snipe Chris down. But as Chris came into his cross hairs, something went wrong. Just after passing the spot where Nicholas's ATV had been parked for the whole challenge, Chris suddenly dropped down into the sand while the sand behind him flew up. He'd fallen for Nicholas's trap, and Allister, startled by what had happened, flinched when he pulled the trigger… and caught Ayame again just as she came to a skidding halt in front of the pit.

Nicholas grinned, satisfied that his trap had worked. Chris had actually driven over the sand covered boards which hid the pit he had dug. The weight of the ATV broke the boards, catching Chris and covering him in sand in the process. Nicholas grabbed his net gun and ran over to capture his prey. Chris was an easy catch, disoriented from the fall, as he barely moved as Nicholas aimed and caught him in his net.

Chef grumbled indignantly as he forked over ten dollars to Steve.

"Well… it appears that I've been… captured?" Chris babbled as he climbed out of the pit with the net still around him. "Um, I think I have a concussion. I'll see everyone at the bonfire ceremony."

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

The final three sat around the campfire, waiting for Chris to arrive so the ceremony could begin. Nicholas sat lazily on his log, legs stretched out before him and leaning back with his hands behind his had and resting it on the log behind him, content with his victory and immunity for the day. Ayame and Allister were more on edge. They both sat up, Ayame with her back straight and arms crossed over her chest, tapping one foot on the ground impatiently, while Allister was slumped over with his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together in anticipation. The two glanced at Nicholas and then to each other occasionally, unsure of who Nicholas had voted fore. He ultimately decided who he would be facing in the finals, and that could mean bad news for either of them depending on what he suspected the final challenge to be.

"All right, let's get this thing started." Chris said as he approached the podium, carrying a tray with only two marshmallows. Steve the Camera Guy followed after him and quickly set up his equipment. Chris continued once the camera was rolling. "Welcome to the next to last Bonfire Ceremony, everyone, where the final two will be decided. Now, Nicholas, as the winner of today's challenge you get immunity." He tossed a marshmallow to the boy, who hadn't bothered to sit up as he was half asleep and the marshmallow bounced off of his chest and onto the ground.

Chris then turned to Ayame and Allister with a sinister grin. "Well… look whose left. Big, bad Ayame and quick, clever Allister. Only one of you two is staying on the island after tonight, but which one? Ayame, you present a very significant physical threat to Nicholas's victory. You're strong, fast, and very athletic. A physical challenge could put him in a predicament. However, Allister over here is a bit more on the clever side. He's one to plan ahead and strategize. A more mentally based challenge could mean disaster if Nicholas chooses him. Now, I think it's obvious that you two voted for each other, so I think I'll let Nicholas take it from here. Who's going home, buddy?"

Ayame and Allister looked over to their friend, who was still lying back. He was obviously awake, but staying quiet for now, possibly to build the suspense. Suddenly he sat up and looked at both of them. Ayame remained still but tensed up, but Allister, seeing the look in Nicholas's eyes, almost shrunk back.

"So?" Chris asked, still grinning.

"… Allister."

Allister's head dropped while Ayame jumped up and punched the air, cheering in victory. "No hard feelings man." Nicholas said to his friend. "But I had to choose someone, and, like Chris said, you're more likely to plan ahead. Ayame just charges in, guns-a-blazing."

"Why has everyone been calling me reckless?" Ayame grumbled to herself.

"It's all right, man." Allister said, hitting Nicholas's arm playfully. He then got up and stretched before turning to Ayame. "Do me a favor will you, take the money home and just rub his face in it."

"Can do!" Ayame agreed with a wide grin, saluting him jokingly.

"Real mature." Nicholas chuckled.

Nicholas, Ayame, Chris, and Steve watched as Allister descended down the hill to the Dock of Shame, where Chef waited on the Boat of Losers. As they watched the boat disappear over the moonlit horizon, Ayame suddenly received a text from Harper. Careful to hide her new background image from the guys, she opened the message. _So, who's coming home tonight?_

She simply replied. _You might want to warn Dylan. He's in for a treat tonight._


	34. TTDDBFS:TM Part 1

Episode 33: The Total Drama Dynamite Big Finale Show: The Movie Part 1

"Well, this is it Steve. The final recap shoot." Chris paused and took a whiff of the air as he and Steve the Camera Guy walked down the Dock of Shame. "Can you smell the finality in the air?

"All I smell is your B.O.; did you forget to shower this morning?" Steve asked, waving his hand in front of his nose.

"My alarm didn't go off and I sleep like Rip Van Winkle, all right? The makeup girl literally had to ram my trailer door open and get me out of bed. I'm lucky my hair looks acceptable."

"Who said it looks acceptable? I think it makes you look like you… haven't bathed!" Steve joked as he set up the camera.

"Just shut up and do your job." Chris growled. "Last time one Total Drama Dynamite… With only three contestants remaining on the island and the producers out of challenge ideas, we decided to take the cheap way out and just reversed the previous challenge. I, being the alluring bait that I am, allowed the campers to hunt me down in an attempt to capture me, and whoever succeeded not only won immunity, but they also pretty much decided who their opponent in the final challenge was. Everything started out simple enough, with Ayame and Allister chasing after me like wild animals with no strategy whatsoever. But Nicholas seemed to have some sinister plot going from step one, and Allister wised up and tried taking the subtle route to get me. As Ayame and I raced along the beach and came back across the camp, Allister took his position in one last attempt to get me while Nicholas set his trap into motion… and I regret that I fell right into that trap. Literally. Nicholas had dug a trench in the beach, placed boards over it, and then covered those boards with sand so that I couldn't see them. Quite brilliant, actually. The second my ATV went over those thin pieces of plywood I fell through and Nicholas had me. Glorious victory! Allister was sent packing at the bonfire ceremony that night, leaving Nicholas and Ayame to compete against each other in the finals!

"So, this is it. The final episode. Who will take home the gold, and the grand prize of one hundred thousand greenbacks? I'm sure you'll have a blast finding out today on Total… Drama… Dynamite!" The annual explosions went off and Steve shut off his camera.

"Well, it's been nice working with you, Chris." Steve said as he began packing up his gear.

"What are you talking about, man?" Chris asked. "Did you get another job offer, because we'll give you a raise if you want? We still need camera men for next season.

"No, it's not another job offer."

"So you just don't want to work on the show anymore?"

"No, it's not that either."

"Then what's the problem?"

"You'll find out soon enough. Now c'mon. We've got one more episode to shoot."

~LATER~

Nicholas groaned as Chris's voice came over the PA system. "Good morning, Total Drama Dynamite finalists! Time for the breakfast of champions! Please report for the Mess Hall immediately for your meal, and then it's on with the show."

Nicholas looked at his watch, wanting to know what ungodly hour Chris was dragging him out of bed at today, but was surprised to find that it was ten in the morning. This was the latest he'd slept since before coming to the island. "Guess being a finalist has its perks." He said as he threw back the covers and sat up. He quickly got dressed and headed outside, finding the camp was strangely empty and eerily quiet, as it had been since Tak left and stopped taking his morning run. Nicholas still wasn't used to how everything was, but he only had to spend less than twenty four hours on the island now, so he wasn't worried about it. He saw Ayame as she came out of her cabin and walked over to her. "Well, well, well, if it isn't my opponent." He chuckled. "Ready to lose?"

"Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing."

They were both silent for a moment.

"Yeah, this playful trash talk thing ain't doing it for me." Nicholas said.

"Me neither. Let's just go get breakfast." Ayame suggested.

"I like the way you think."

The two made their way up to the Mess Hall, but stopped as they noticed a few odd things. First, it was quiet… too quiet. The kind of quiet where they would think that someone was nearby but keeping quiet so that they weren't noticed. Second, the curtains in the windows were closed… and as far as either of them knew, the Mess Hall had never had curtains before. And finally, the lights inside were off. "I smell a trap to begin the challenge." Nicholas said.

"Oh yeah." Ayame agreed.

"Cautious entrance or guns-a-blazing?"

"Cautious entrance. We don't know what we're getting into."

"Let's do it, then."

Slowly and carefully, they pushed open the swinging doors of the Mess Hall and stepped inside. With what little light there was, they couldn't see anything suspicious going on, but that was before they decided to look to their sides. Suddenly the lights came on and Chris's voice yelled, "Get 'em!" Before the two finalists could even react, at least a dozen bodies flew at and landed on top of them, creating the king of all dog piles.

While buried under the mass of people, Ayame managed to squirm her head free and demand and explanation. "What the hell is going on?"

Before she got an answer, Harper's face dropped down in front of her, upside down, and planted a quick kiss on her lips. "Surprise." He said with a grin.

She grinned back. "You are going to be severely punished when I get free."

"Promise?" Harper laughed.

"Hlp! Cnt brth!" Nicholas mumbled from under the others.

"All right, let's get off of them, guys." Harper instructed.

The others pulled themselves off of the two finalists and Harper and Tak helped them to their feet, Harper pulling his girl into a proper kiss and Tak bringing Nicholas into a brotherly hug. "What is up, man?" Tak asked as he patted his bro on the back. "Congrats on making it to the final two!"

"Hey, you almost made it yourself." Harper pointed out.

"Yeah, until the rest of you conspired against him." Payton said as she appeared from behind her boyfriend. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Payton! It has been way to long! C'mere!" Nicholas said happily as he pulled the girl into a hug. All of the other Raging Moose were there as well. Naomi, Sam and Ashlynn as congratulated Nicholas on a job well done, Penny slapped him on the back and laughed heartily, and Allister and Dylan both said congratulations and offered him a handshake (which was just a ploy to trick him into a hug). Even Russell was there, though he didn't say a word as he brushed Mr. Muggles' fur.

Meanwhile, Ayame was getting a similar bombardment of greetings and congratulations. She ignored Carolina as the other girl chatted away, talking about how awesome it was that she made it to the finals. She didn't notice Chance as he held up his hand for a high-five, and Nick dared him to hold up his hand until someone fived him, which he then told everyone else not to do. She, Kyra, and Sakura all hugged together and she high-fived TJ and Jason, much to Chance's ire. Lena was also there, but was too busy fawning over Chris to give a heck about Ayame.

"That's right!" Chris announced once he was able to shake Lena off of his leg. "It's a big old reunion for the final episode! All eighteen of your former competitors are here to cheer you two on in the final challenge, which we will discuss later. But for now, it's time for breakfast… speaking of which." The TV host clapped his hands and suddenly the kitchen doors burst open as Chef and a few interns wheeled out at least ten carts covered by white sheets and placed them in a line along the wall. "Can any of you say buffet?" Chef and the interns removed the sheets to reveal practically every breakfast food imaginable… and it all looked, and smelled, delicious.

"This has to be a dream." Nicholas said.

"Chris, this is amazing! Why have we always gotten Chef's crappy food before?" Ayame asked.

"What? You don't want a breakfast buffet as a reward for making it to the finals?" Chris questioned. "Because I can always let the camera crew and interns have all this."

"No, No! We'll take it!" Ayame insisted as she and everyone else lined up to fix their plates in what Nicholas and Ayame considered their first real meal in over two months.

Over breakfast Nicholas and Ayame caught up with all of their old teammates and friends. Not much had happened, considering that the eighteen teenagers had been mostly confined to Playa des Losers since their elimination, but there were a few interesting incidences. On the day that Tak was eliminated, the first person to greet him was Chance, and the first thing Tak did was dare him to sprint around the hotel until he passed out. He did it, and amazingly it took him three hours before he finally collapsed. Jason and Sakura had had daily jam sessions after Sakura came to the resort. But by far the best thing to happen at the resort involved, who else, Russell. It had happened the day after his elimination. He had insulted Dylan for being gay and Lena and Ashlynn decided to help Dylan get back at him. They seduced Russell and told him to meet them in Ashlynn's room around ten. Thinking he was getting lucky, he went at the appointed time and the girls, hiding in the closet, told him to keep the lights off and climb into bed. The idiot actually stripped and climbed into the bed while Ashlynn and Lena quietly tiptoed out of the closet. When they flipped the light switch, they snapped a photo of him lying next to a blowup dole. Russell freaked and jumped out of bed, stumbling backward through the screen door to the balcony, over the railing, and falling an entire floor down into the pool. He was the laughingstock of the resort for days afterwards, and he swore he would get revenge on the two of them, though he hadn't yet.

"And as an added bonus, we got it on camera!" Ashlynn said proudly as she bumped fists with Nicholas.

"Youtube?"

"You know it."

"Attention, everyone!" Chris suddenly called out as he, Steve, and Chef came out from the kitchen. "I see that most of you are finished eating, so in about ten minutes I'd like you all to join Steve, Chef, and I at the amphitheater. Nicholas and Ayame will be taking the seats of honor on the stage while the rest of you will be in the stands. Cool?" The teens barely responded as Chris and his lackeys headed out the door.

"So what do you think he has planned for us today?" Ayame asked, turning to Nicholas.

"The devil only knows." Nicholas responded.

~TEN MINUTES LATER~

As instructed, the twenty teens arrived at the amphitheater and took their seats, Nicholas and Ayame heading behind the curtain while the others scattered themselves around the bleachers. Backstage, Nicholas and Ayame sat on either side of the podium which they guessed Chris, who was now wearing a tux and was busy fixing his hair and tie, would be standing at. Steve, as usual, was setting up his gear, along with several other camera men, while Chef and the interns worked on the lighting and several other things backstage.

"So what do you thinks going on?" Jason, sitting at the very back of the stands, asked Sakura, who was leaning into him and resting her head on his shoulder.

"I dunno, baby." Sakura said. "I guess Chris and the producers planned some kind of interview thing before the big challenge."

"Or maybe this is the final challenge." Nick, who was sitting in front of them, interjected.

"What do you mean?" Naomi asked.

"If this is some kind of interview, then maybe Chris expects us to pick the winner based on the answers that they give to a series of questions or something." Nick explained.

"Or this is some kind of filler so that the author can split the final episode into two parts." Sam suggested. The others glared at her. "What? There's been enough fourth wall breaking for the readers to know that we understand we're in a fanfiction. This is the final episode, so I don't see any point in being subtle about it anymore."

"It's called being in character until the conclusion." Naomi pointed out.

Sam just shrugged. "Continuity… Boom." she sang.

On the other end of the bleachers…

"I still can't believe I got kicked off for mooning Chris." TJ chuckled. "I may have lost a hundred grand, but it was totally worth it.

"Hey, I didn't vote for you." Kyra said, patting him on the back. "I actually enjoyed that quite a bit. And where do you have room to complain? You threw away your shot at the prize. I left the island for a real reason; being a significant threat."

"Please. I was the only real threat on this island." Russell said from behind them as he ran his hand along Mr. Muggles fur.

"Russell, the only thing you're a threat to is this shows ratings." Dylan said.

"Funny." Russell grumbled.

"Actually he's correct." Lena said. "The ratings skyrocketed after you were eliminated. Check the Teletoons site yourself if you want."

"Burn!" Allister shouted, bumping fists with Lena.

In the front row…

"Ayame has this in the bag." Harper said confidently to the other six sitting around him.

"I'm not so sure." Penny said. "I'm not saying that Ayame is stupid or anything, she's definitely not, but… Nicholas is pretty damn clever. We all saw the footage of how he won the last challenge. Ayame definitely has a shot, but I don't think Nicholas is going down without a fight."

"Totally." Payton agreed from behind them. "Ayame can already see the prize, but she has to get through all of Nicholas's traps before she can claim victory. What do you think, baby?"

"I am obligated to agree with you regardless of my personal opinion." Tak said, wrapping his arm around Payton's shoulders.

"Well, don't you have him trained good." Ashlynn snickered. "How long did it take to break him?"

"Are you kidding? He's like a sad puppy." Payton chuckled. "Give him some attention and he'll do whatever you want."

"That only works with you." Tak said flatly.

"Good call." Payton said, leaning in and giving her boyfriend a kiss.

"For the record, _attention_ isn't innuendo for something, is it?" Carolina asked.

"Please don't answer that." Chance grumbled.

"Shh! It's starting!" Harper snapped at them

As ward ceremony music began to sound all around them, the eighteen former competitors all went quiet and the curtain began to rise, revealing Chris standing behind the podium with Ayame and Nicholas sitting on either side of him. Fog machines rolled in their vapors from the sides of the stage and Chef's voice came over the announcers. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Total Drama Dynamite Big Finale Show Pre-Game Ceremony! With your host, Chris McClain, and guests of honor, Nicholas Rozello and Ayame Iris!" Everyone in the stands cheered (which was under whelming with only eighteen people, but made more exciting when a recording of a full audience joined it in post production). Chris bowed and said "Thank You." A few times while Nicholas and Ayame just waved.

"All right, all right, that's enough." Chris said, causing those in the audience to quiet down. "Now, before we begin the challenge we're going to play a little game to help the eighteen former contestants in the audience decide who they'll be rooting for. I'll be asking the two of you a series of three questions, and depending on your answers the others will move either to the left or right side of the bleachers. Audience members, Nicholas's side is to your right and Ayame's is to your left. Any questions?" Silence. "Good! Now let's get this thing rollin'!"

Chris pulled a few note cards out from under the podium and cleared his throat. "Question one. What made you want to compete on this show? What prompted you to fill out the application and make an audition tape? Ladies first, Ayame."

Ayame gave the question some thought before answering. "Gee, it's been so long that I barely remember why I auditioned." She said. "Well, obviously there was the chance at winning a hundred thousand dollars, which I honestly never thought I'd get so close to. But… I guess I also wanted to get away from Japan for a while, you know? Spend my summer as far away from home as possible and go back refreshed and relaxed, ready to start up the usual routine again. But after everything that's happened here in Canada…" she stopped for a moment and winked at Harper, "I don't know how easily I'm going to fall back into my old routine. In fact, I think I might move here after graduating high school."

"Very nice." Chris said. "An understandable, if not admirable reason… Nicholas."

"I'm in it for the cash and the fifteen minutes of fame." He said flatly. "That and… well, my Brothers, Damien and Matt, said I wouldn't make it half way through the competition and I wanted to prove him wrong. Suck it, bros!" He said, pointing to the camera. "You guy's owe me a Benjamin, each!"

"Now that I empathize with!" Chris laughed. "Comments from the audience?"

"Yeah." TJ chimed in. "Nicholas, you're a greedy, superficial bastard… and I respect you for that."

Kyra elbowed him in the ribs. "I think what this lovable oaf is trying to say is that… actually I can't think of a better way to put it."

"The man's a poet." Nicholas chuckled.

"Moving on." Chris said. "Should you win, what will you do with the money? Nicholas?"

"I've got three words for everyone… Playboy. Mansion. Party. Rent the mansion for a night, live musical entertainment, half naked women serving fruity drinks, I'll even get male strippers to serve the ladies. That is what I'll be doing the prize money… and I suppose I'll donate what's left to a charity or something."

"Love it!" Chris said. "Ayame?"

"Well… as some of you might've heard, there was a terrible tsunami in my native Japan. I've received word that no one in my family has been hurt, but I'd still like to donate half my winnings to the relief effort."

"That's it! That's the one!" Nicholas broke in. "Japanese relief effort. I'll give fifty grand to it if I win too."

"Thanks!" Ayame said, smiling.

Nicholas shrugged. "I'm not a complete asshole."

Ayame shook her head, smiling. "Anyway, like I said earlier, I want to move here to Canada after I graduate high school so I'll use the remaining money for that, and whatever's left over will go to college."

"Well, I Ayame… that's really boring." Chris said. "I gotta go with the Playboy Mansion Party. But let's hear what the audience thinks."

"Either way, half the money is going to a good cause." Naomi said. "So, I'm completely neutral for now."

"Not me." Penny said. "I'm up for male strippers serving fruity drinks. Go Nicholas!"

"Okay then! Last question." Chris said, flipping to the final note card. "Nicholas… Ayame…" Suddenly the theme music from _Shaft_ started playing. "Who's the celebrity that you know that hosts the greatest TV show?" Suddenly three black women wearing shimmering dresses came out from backstage and sang "Chris!" Chris responded, "You're damn right… Who is the man that would risk other people's necks for the ratings, man?" "Chris!" "Can ya dig it? Who's the guy that won't drop out when there's teenagers all about?" "Chris!" "Right on!... You see this handsome man Chris is a bad mother—" Suddenly Chef came out of nowhere and shouted, "Shut yo mouth!"

"All right, that's enough of that" Chris said as the music stopped and the singers disappeared behind the curtain. "… Are you guys even old enough to get that reference?"

"Only through other parodies." Harper pointed out.

"Whatever. Time to choose your sides, everybody!"

The eighteen former contestants got up and started moving to the area of the person that they wanted to support. It was no surprise that Harper moved over to Ayame's side and Penny, having already expressed enthusiasm for his party, moved to Nicholas's side. Tak and Payton, being good friends with Nicholas, also moved to his side. Russell decided to side with Ayame, the idea of spending an evening at a party with everyone else there sickening him. Jason, Sakura, and Sam all moved to Nicholas's side, thinking that, with Jason and Sakura on guitar Sam on the Drums, they might have a shot at being the musical entertainment at his party. Allister and Dylan, while they wouldn't complain about the party, wanted to see the money got to a practical use and they sided with Ayame. Lena was too busy ogling Chris to actually move from her spot, so she ended up on Ayame's side. Chance and Carolina decided to support their former team mate. TJ, being the party man that he was, sided with Nicholas, Kyra followed him, and Nick decided to support his former alliance mate. Ashlynn and Naomi, being neutral, sided with Ayame to balance things out.

"Well, that's that." Chris said with his signature grin. "When we come back from commercials, we will witness the birth of a champion in the final Total Drama Dynamite challenge… the Dynamite Triathlon! So stick around, loyal viewers! It's going to be a blast!"

* * *

(**A/N**) All right! Just one more to go! I hope you're all excited as I am, lol. anyway, I'll try to get the next chapter up on the 27th like I pomissed, but with just a week to do that it's going to be a tall order. but I've done it before and Im confident I can do it again. also, as a treat, I'm going to be writing two endings to the next chapter. one where Ayame wins, and the other where Nicholas wins. the canon ending will be the one that you, the readers, vote for in the poll on my profile. the other will just be a little easter egg. I will be hiding the results so there will be no spoilers of course. so, other than that, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will see you all again (hopefully) in a week!


	35. TTDDBFS:TM Part 2

(**A/N**) I am so sorry this took so much longer than I said it would. I really wanted to get it done last month like I said I would, but a lot of things kept getting in the way (school, work, college preparation, family stuff, friends, etc). Anyway, regardless of the release date, here it is... the end of Total... Drama... Dynamite!

* * *

Episode 34: The Total Drama Dynamite Big Finale Show: The Movie Part 2

"Welcome back, loyal viewers!" Chris announced to the camera once Steve had turned it back on. "We are just about ready to begin the final challenge of TDD… the Dynamite Triathlon! Our two finalists, Nicholas and Ayame, have their posies rallied up and are now making some last minute preparations fir the challenge. We've instructed them both to choose a spotter and to get clothes some appropriate attire: a bathing suit with loose gym clothes over it. Let's see what they're up to."

~AYAME'S CABIN~

"So what exactly is a spotter?" Harper asked.

Ayame looked up to him as she finished tying her running shoes. "It's simple, Harper. This last challenge is a race. Your job it to keep an eye on me from an elevated spot and tell me where to go and when it's safe to go there. I'm not sure why I even need a spotter, though. This is just a foot race, not NASCAR or something."

"That's actually a good point." Nick agreed. "Chris has got to have something planned if we're taking safety measures like that for a foot race."

"He calls it the Dynamite Triathlon." Ashlynn pointed out. "Maybe we're finally having an explosives themed challenge."

An awkward silence suddenly fell over the cabin. Then Allister said,  
"By god, Ayame, Chris is actually trying to kill you this time."

"And this is new how exactly?" Dylan questioned.

"Chris has really only been trying to scare us to death so far." Allister explained. "This time they might actually die."

"If Ashlynn's right." Carolina pointed out.

"I think it's safe to say she is." Chance said.

"Nah, Chris wouldn't do that." Lena insisted. "He just likes to have fun. He'd not some sort of psychotic megalomaniac."

"Lena…" Russell said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She sighed. "I didn't even buy that one."

"So if we're right, the Dynamite Triathlon has something to do with high explosives…" Ayame murmured to herself. "Maybe this isn't worth a fifty/fifty shot at the hundred grand."

"Ayame, if you give up now I'm breaking up with you."

The finalist glared up at her boyfriend. "Excuse me?" she demanded.

"That wasn't me." Harper insisted. "Okay, who said it? C'mon guys, this isn't funny. Dylan, was it you? It sounded like you. I Ayame, I swear, it wasn't me."

~NICHOLAS'S CABIN~

"Live to win! 'Til you die! 'Til the light dies in your eyes… Live to win! Take it all! Just keep fighting 'til you fall…"

"So this is how you get pumped, eh?" Sakura questioned. "Lying on a bed listening to a song featured in an episode of South Park?"

"Yep." Nicholas yawned.

Sakura huffed. "How did I come in seventh place while this drool monkey made it to the final two?"

"He didn't go crazy, honey." Jason explained. Sakura slapped him in the back of his head and stomped away from him. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Hold onto that thought, buddy." TJ said. "Because during the challenge I'm going to explain everything that was wrong with what you just said."

"So who's going to be your spotter, Nicholas?" Sam asked.

"Payton." Nicholas said flatly.

"Really?" Payton asked. "Well, thanks, but why?"

"Yeah, why?" Tak asked suspiciously, wrapping a protective arm around his girlfriend's shoulders.

"Don't get your panties in a knot, fourth place." Nicholas chuckled as he sat up and turned off his music. "Payton's a good friend and former teammate that I know I can trust, and if picking her as my spotter makes you all jealous and protective, well… happy birthday to me."

"Okay, I'm sorry, but how many times has that _happy birthday to me_ line been used in this story?" Kyra asked. "Honestly, I think it's been overused already, people."

"Enough fourth wall breaking already!" Naomi snapped.

~OUTSIDE~

"Everything's set up, Chris." Chef said as he approached Chris, who was standing on the edge of the thousand foot cliff.

"Excellent." Chris said with a sinister grin. "Summon them."

Chef nodded and pulled a trumpet out from his magic satchel. Taking in a great breath, he played a long, low note on the instrument, letting the sound spread out over the island. Lena jumped when the sound came to Ayame's cabin, hitting her head on the underside of a bunk. Chef blew again and the twenty teenagers filed out of the cabin and towards the thousand foot cliff. Chef gave one last trumpet before he tossed it over the edge of the cliff and he and Chris headed down to the bottom to meet the campers. As the TV host and the lumbering cook met with the motley crew of teens, Ayame and Nicholas stepped forward, holding eye contact with Chris.

"Are you ready?" Chris asked. There was no grin, only a completely straight face.

"No." Nicholas said.

Ayame elbowed him in the ribs. "As we'll ever be." She said after.

"Okay… follow me."

Chris led them deep into the woods, losing Chef at some point, until they came across a massive clearing. Clearly man made, the tree lines of the clearing were perfectly straight, about fifty feet apart, and reached over 300 yards away, all the way to the shore of the island. "Welcome to the beginnings of the Dynamite Triathlon, champions. This is where we shall determine which of you will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune which, let's face it; you'll probably blow in a week. A typical triathlon consists of running, swimming, and bike riding. This one does as well, but with a few added bonuses for the entertainment value. To begin with, you two will be running through this clearing to the shore on the other side. The twist? This clearing is a mine field. Potentially every step you take could blow off one of your legs. This is why we had you choose spotters. Would they please step forward?" Harper and Payton came to the front of the group and an intern handed them each a map and a walkie-talkie, handing two more walkie-talkies to Ayame and Nicholas. "Harper, Payton, the maps you have just been given show safe, mine free paths in the field. Chef is getting the helicopter prepped for you and it's your job to keep your teammate on a safe path. You'll be able to do this by spotting specific landmarks on the ground that are also on your maps. Moving on, Ayame and Nicholas, once you guys are through the mine field you'll reach the first checkpoint where you will have to strip down to your bathing suits and dive into the sea mine infested waters. Your spotters will help you get through there and to the next checkpoint where you will hop on the bicycles waiting there for you and race down the path, while grenades are being launched at you, to the finish line. This time the spotters won't be any help. You'll have to rely on luck and hope that a grenade isn't thrown at the wrong time. You got all that?" Ayame and Nicholas nodded. "All right. Good luck. Harper and Payton, the interns will escort you to Chef and the helicopter. Everyone else, grab a bag of popcorn, kick back, and enjoy the show."

~FIVE MINUTES LATER~

Harper and Payton looked down at the ground from the helicopter, where Chris, Ayame, Nicholas, and the other waited for the challenge to begin. "You two all ready to go?" Chef asked from the cockpit, through his headset. They both said yes. "All right. Chris, we are all set up here. Whenever you're all ready."

"Copy that." Chris said into his walkie-talkie. "Okay, you two… Let's roll."

Nicholas and Ayame silently approached the starting line where Chris waited for them. Ayame crouched down and positioned herself like an Olympic runner would; finger tips on the ground, one leg curled up under her and the other stretched out behind her. Nicholas was a bit more casual and stood there like a bored kid in gym class. Chris raised the starting pistol into the air… all was silent, Chris obviously wanting to provide some footage for having suspense when the episode aired. "In three… two… one…" Bang!

Ayame and Nicholas took off, fast as lightning. An explosion went off near Nicholas almost immediately, not hurting him but causing him to jump back a bit. "Hold on!" Payton said through the walkie-talkie. "Okay, there's the stump… keep going forward, but veer left about twenty feet from the stump a ways in front of you. It should be smooth sailing from there until you pass that first tree that they left up." Nicholas followed her instructions, but after only five steps another explosion went off, this time a bit closer but still not too close. "No! Not that far left!"

"Well be more specific!" Nicholas snarled.

Ayame, meanwhile, was having much more luck with avoiding the death traps. "Okay, in about a three meters leap forward and you'll got right over a mine and land on the safe path other the other side." Harper instructed. Ayame did exactly as she was told and landed without incident on the safe path. "Yeah! Good job, baby! Now turn right… now! Then go about ten meters before going straight towards the finish line again."

"What would I do without you?" Ayame said lovingly as she ran.

"You'd probably be setting off high explosives right now." Harper joked back. "Crap! Left! Now! Now!" But Ayame wasn't quick enough and she set off the pressure plate, causing the mine to go off. She was able to jump back in time, but as she landed on her back she saw Nicholas take the lead. "Be careful down there!"

"Maybe you should stop distracting me!" Ayame said, firmly but also chuckling, as she got up and started running again, kicking it into high gear.

"Um, Chris, this seems really dangerous." Kyra pointed out as she and the others watched from behind the starting line. "Are you sure all of this is legal?"

"Nope." Chris said with a big grin.

"You realize that you and the producers could get in serious trouble if one of them gets hurt, right?" Nick said.

"They signed insurance forms when they agreed to be on the show." Chris pointed out. "I'm untouchable."

"Did you even read this contract, Chris?" Sam asked as she approached them with a copy of the contract she signed in hand. "This barely offered any coverage at all. If they get anything worse than a broken bone, your ass is getting sued."

"What? Let me see that!" Chris demanded, swiping the contract from the girl's hands. He scanned through every page at the speed of light, finishing all 50 pages in less than a minute. When he got to the bottom of the final page he froze, the papers fluttering to the ground as they dropped out of his hands. His face slowly began to turn the most intense red as he bared his teeth, his nostrils flared, and his eyes filled with the most horrifying rage. "**THOSE MOTHER F**KING LIERS! THEY TOLD ME I WAS UNTOUCHABLE! IF I GET SUED I SWEAR TO GOD, THE DEVIL, ZEUS, ODIN, AND ANY OTHER DIETY THAT HAS EVER EXISTED I WILL HUNT THEM DOWN AND GUT THEM LIKE THE WORTHLESS VERMIN THEY ARE!**" He continued on with his rage induced episode as he stormed off into the woods, uprooting a tree as he did so. Everyone had completely forgotten about Harper and Ayame as they watched want had just happened, some completely flabbergasted, some with their jaws hanging open, and TJ laughing as if there was no tomorrow.

"Did that really just happen?" TJ gasped. "Seriously. Tell me I wasn't hallucinating. Chris McClain just went into a blind rage, yelled at the top of his lungs, swore to several gods that he would kill people, and then uprooted a tree! Steve, tell me you got that on camera."

"Would I ever let you guys down?" Steve smirked as he tossed TJ his camera's memory card.

"Youtube will be so happy." TJ chuckled. "I bet—" but he was cut off as another explosion went off behind them and everyone turned their attention back to Ayame and Nicholas's dangerous task.

Nicholas stumbled as an explosion went off behind him. He was still ahead of Ayame, but just barely and she was catching up to him. "This is what I get for being a couch potato." Nicholas grumbled as he regained his footing and continued running.

"Quit beating yourself up and keep running!" Payton scolded on the other end of the walkie-talkies. "She's right on your tail! Get ready to make a quick left right after you pass this rock, then head straight again and you should be home free."

"Yeah. Out of the briar patch and into the barbed wire." Nicholas grumbled as he passed out of the mine field and onto the beach.

"Just shut up and get into the water." Payton scowled as Ayame made her way onto the beach as well. Nicholas began following his spotter's instructions, but he froze up in the middle of pulling off his shirt as he looked over to Ayame. His jaw hit the sand as she saw Ayame throw off her shirt, revealing a bright red bikini top which left very little to the imagination. Ayame blushed but also smirked when she realized how distracting her swimsuit was to Nicholas.

Up in the helicopter, Harper snatched Payton's walkie-talkie and shouted into it. "Hey horn-dog, that's my girlfriend you're using x-ray vision on!"

"Give that back!" Payton demanded as she grabbed it back.

"Relax Harper." Ayame said into her walkie-talkie as she kicked off her shoes and shorts and headed for the water. "If this distracts him long enough to give me a head start then great! And before you ask, no I didn't plan on this. I didn't think Nicholas was that much of a meat head."

Harper groaned. "All right… I like the bikini by the way."

"Well maybe you'll get a better look later." Ayame said as she dove into the water. When she resurfaced she spoke to him one last time, chuckling. "Or not…"

Harper blushed, not sure of what she meant exactly. "Okay, if I'm reading this right you're going to want to go to the left of the buoy coming up ahead of you."

"Nicholas, get your head out of your ass and get in the water before I sick Tak on you!" Payton yelled into her walkie-talkie, snapping Nicholas out of his trance. He quickly kicked off his shoes and threw off his shirt before jumping into the water and swimming after Ayame. "Good boy. Just follow Ayame for now. I'll see if I can't find a way for you to get around her without—" A mine suddenly went off under the water, causing a geyser to shoot up from the water, making waves that tossed Ayame and Nicholas across the water. Amazingly they both ended up half way closer to the next checkpoint, but they also were both completely surrounded by sea mines with not much room to swim through them.

"Well, isn't this quite the pickle." Steve chuckled before blowing a gum bubble.

"Anyone got any idea how they could get out of this?" Allister asked.

"Well, they could try swimming under the mines." Steve suggested. "But who knows if they could hold their breath that long, plus even if they bump the chains holding those things the bottom of the lake they could still go off… and if you thought being on the surface when those things go off was bad, well, you don't want to be under water when they go off. Trust me."

"How do you know all this stuff, Steve?"Carolina asked.

"Who do you think set those things up?" Steve asked her.

Up in the helicopter, Harper and Payton were frantically searching for a way for Ayame and Nicholas to get out of their predicament. If they were correct in their teammates positions, then there were a few ways out but they had also realized that the previous explosion had likely tossed the remaining mines around and rearranged them. After a good ten minutes of frantic searching, Payton huffed and tossed her map aside. "I'm sorry, Nicholas, but after that I'm completely useless up here. "You're going to have to find your own way out." She said into her walkie-talkie.

"Way ahead of you! Going down!"

With that Nicholas took a deep breath and plunged under the surface, disappearing into the blue abyss. Everyone was silent for a while, waiting to see what would happen. Then Harper realized what idiots he and Ayame were being and shouted into his walkie-talkie, "What are you waiting for! Follow him!"

"Better idea." Ayame said before diving below as well.

As Nicholas resurfaced in a safe area and began swimming towards shore, Ayame dove deeper and deeper, down to the very bottom of the lake. There she picked up a rather sizable rock before swimming back up, now needing air desperately. She gasped as she resurfaced, taking in the sweet oxygen and regaining her composure. Nicholas hadn't made it far yet, but he was still in the lead. "God I hope this works." Ayame said as she lifted the rock in her hand and chucked it, sending it flying into the water and towards the nearest sea mine. The metal ball exploded and a shockwave was sent out, hitting Ayame full force and sending her flying straight to where she wanted to go: shore.

What could only be described as a small tsunami hit the beach, washing Ayame up with it and Nicholas right behind her. "Bad-ugh… idea." Ayame groaned as she and Nicholas staggered to their feet. Nothing broken. They both had a throbbing pain and maybe some minor bruises, but nothing serious enough to keep them from competing further. They found bicycles and the running clothes they'd previously shed waiting for them on the beach.

"You're in the lead, baby! Move!" Harper called through the walkie-talkie, which was lying in the sand at Ayame's feet. Leaving it lay there, Ayame quickly pulled her shorts, t-shirt, and shoes back on before hopping on her bike and taking off down the path.

"Nicholas, why the heck are you waiting?" Payton demanded through the walkie-talkie.

"Just enjoying the view." He chuckled as he threw his shirt and shoes on.

"You do realize that, a) Ayame isn't single; b) her boyfriend can hear every word you're saying; and c) you're risking a hundred million dollars, right?"

"I'm going, I'm going." Nicholas tossed the walkie-talkie to the ground as he jumped on his bike and started peddling.

The second Ayame entered the tree line a grenade launched from the forest floor. Peddling for her life, she managed to avoid it but she still felt the heat and shockwave, almost knocking her bike over. Just as quickly as the first, another flew out from the bushes but this one landed in front of her. Panicking, she hit the brakes and her bike fell over, landing her directly next to the grenade. Without a second thought she grabbed the explosive and tossed it back into the woods before laying down flat with her hands over her head. The grenade exploded in the distance, obliterating at least three trees and knocking over several more. "It's almost not worth it." She grumbled as she got back to her feet.

"I disagree." Nicholas called as he zoomed by her on his bike. Not about to let him get away with taking the lead, Ayame jumped back onto her bike and sped after him.

Nicholas was on fire, dodging grenades left and right without a sweat. He took a quick look over his shoulder to see how far ahead of Ayame he was, but nearly lost control of his bike when he saw Ayame glaring him down at less than a foot away. "I hope you enjoy the taste of dirt." She smirked before suddenly taking off ahead of him, jumping off of a small hill as she turned back to him and shouted, "Because you just ate my dust!"

"Cliché, but classic." Nicholas chuckled as he came to the same hill. But as he jumped off of it, a grenade landed directly behind him. "Oh shi—" but the explosion sounded before he could complete the thought, launching him so far into the air that he could barely be seen.

As Ayame raced towards the finish line, smirking with the knowledge that Nicholas had just blown into the lake, she saw Chris and all of the others waiting to greet their champion. "And it looks like our winner is…" Chris paused, waiting for Ayame to actually cross the finish line before announcing her name. But just as Ayame was about to claim victory, Nicholas, still on his bike, dropped down front the sky and landed face first directly on top of the finish line. "Well, that was unexpected." Chris chuckled. "Nicholas wins! How ya feeling, buddy?"

"FINLAND!" Nicholas, now lying on his back, shouted in his disoriented and possibly concussed state.

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Nicholas, it is with great honor that I present to you… the final marshmallow of the season." Chris said proudly as he walked over to the champion with the tray holding a single marshmallow. Nicholas, who had fractured his arm and sprained both ankles upon his landing, was in a wheel chair so Chris just set the tray on his lap. The other nineteen former TDD contestants all stood around their champion and cheered, clapping and chanting his name.

"Thanks, guys." Nicholas said. "I still don't remember winning, but thanks."

"The Total Drama Dynamite producers and I would also like to present you with this…" Chris clapped his hands and Chef stepped into view, carrying a giant check for one hundred thousand dollars.

"Now don't forget, you promised to donate half of that to the tsunami relief in Japan." Ayame reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah, I didn't forget." Nicholas said. "Already got the check made out and in the mail."

"Good." Ayame said with a smile.

"So you're not upset about losing?" Harper questioned, wrapping his arm around his girlfriends shoulders.

"Of course I am, silly." She said.

"Well, if it's any consolation, Nicholas did win on a fluke." Harper pointed out. Ayame chuckled and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek.

"So, what happens now?" Payton asked. "Do we all just go home and act like we're celebrities now?"

"Well…" Chris started, but a sudden gust of strong wind silenced him. Everyone at the bonfire pit looked up to find a helicopter. A rope ladder dropped down from the chopper and three men in dark business suits slid down to the ground. "Um… what the heck's going on here?" Chris asked the men.

One of the men flashed a badge to Chris. "We're with the Canadian Bureau of Taxation. We're here to collect the taxes on Mister Rozello's winnings."

"Okay…" Nicholas said. "How much am I losing here?"

"Given current tax rates, thanks to the economic situation, we will be taking approximately fifty thousand dollars of your winnings." The man said as he snatched the giant check from Chef. "Have a nice evening." And with that the three men grabbed onto the rope ladder and the helicopter flew away.

Nicholas's jaw hit the ground in complete disbelief. "They just took all my money…"

"That's life for ya." Chris chuckled. He then turned to Steve's camera to sign off one last time. "So that's that. Total Drama Dynamite is over. But wait, what's that I smell? Could it be another season?"

"Chris, I've been trying to tell you, man…" Steve started.

Chris's cell phone suddenly sounded. "Hold that thought, Steve." He answered the phone. "You're go for McClain… yeah… uh-huh… what? What do you mean we're not getting another season?... The ratings tanked after the original campers left? What are you talking about? The ratings have been great this season… oh… I see... Yeah, we'll talk later… No we won't. Understood… all right, bye."

"I tried to tell you." Steve said.

"Shut up, Steve." Chris growled. "Now, let's try this sign off thing again…" He looked directly at the camera and put on his signature grin for a final take. "Well… this is the end, beautiful viewers. After more than two and a half years, this is Total Drama Dynamites final broadcast. It's been a lot of fun, and we'd like to thank all eleven of you that made this journey with us. TDD wouldn't have been anything without you… it was still nothing but you get the point. Hopefully, we've left you with some good memories… or at least took up the memory on your DVR. So, until we meet again, stay gold… Bang."

In the background, Nicholas shouted on last time, "THEY TOOK ALL MY MONEY!"

~ALTERNATE ENDING~

What could only be described as a small tsunami hit the beach, washing Ayame up with it and Nicholas right behind her. "Bad-ugh… idea." Ayame groaned as she and Nicholas staggered to their feet. Nothing broken. They both had a throbbing pain and maybe some minor bruises, but nothing serious enough to keep them from competing further. They found bicycles and the running clothes they'd previously shed waiting for them on the beach.

"You're in the lead, baby! Move!" Harper called through the walkie-talkie, which was lying in the sand at Ayame's feet. Leaving it lay there, Ayame quickly pulled her shorts, t-shirt, and shoes back on before hopping on her bike and taking off down the path.

"Nicholas, why the heck are you waiting?" Payton demanded through the walkie-talkie.

"Just enjoying the view." He chuckled as he threw his shirt and shoes on.

"You do realize that, a) Ayame isn't single; b) her boyfriend can hear every word you're saying; and c) you're risking a hundred million dollars, right?"

"I'm going, I'm going." Nicholas tossed the walkie-talkie to the ground as he jumped on his bike and started peddling.

The second Ayame entered the tree line a grenade launched from the forest floor. Peddling for her life, she managed to avoid it but she still felt the heat and shockwave, almost knocking her bike over. Just as quickly as the first, another flew out from the bushes but this one landed in front of her. Panicking, she hit the brakes and her bike fell over, landing her directly next to the grenade. Without a second thought she grabbed the explosive and tossed it back into the woods before laying down flat with her hands over her head. The grenade exploded in the distance, obliterating at least three trees and knocking over several more. "It's almost not worth it." She grumbled as she got back to her feet.

"I disagree." Nicholas called as he zoomed by her on his bike. Not about to let him get away with taking the lead, Ayame jumped back onto her bike and sped after him.

Nicholas was on fire, dodging grenades left and right without a sweat. He took a quick look over his shoulder to see how far ahead of Ayame he was, but nearly lost control of his bike when he saw Ayame glaring him down at less than a foot away. "I hope you enjoy the taste of dirt." She smirked before suddenly taking off ahead of him, jumping off of a small hill as she turned back to him and shouted, "Because you just ate my dust!"

"Cliché, but classic." Nicholas chuckled as he came to the same hill. But as he jumped off of it, a grenade landed directly behind him. "Oh shi—" but the explosion sounded before he could complete the thought, launching him so far into the air that he could barely be seen.

As Ayame raced towards the finish line, smirking with the knowledge that Nicholas had just blown into the lake, she saw Chris and all of the others waiting to greet their champion. "And it looks like our winner is…" Chris paused, waiting for Ayame to actually cross the finish line before announcing her name. But just as Ayame was about to claim victory, Nicholas, still on his bike, dropped down front the sky, landing directly on top of Ayame. Both of them collapsed as a cloud of dust sprung up around them, but as it cleared…

Ayame had one hand across the finish line.

"Ayame wins!"

"I can't feel my legs!" Nicholas shouted in a panic.

"Really?" Ayame questioned from underneath him. "Because I can feel **both of your knees jammed into my back! Get off of me!**"

~BONFIRE CEREMONY~

"Ayame, it is with great honor that I present to you… the final marshmallow of the season." Chris said proudly as he walked over to the champion with the tray holding a single marshmallow. Ayame gladly took the prize, holding it in her hand as she took in the moment before shrugging and popping the sugar ball into her mouth. The other nineteen former TDD contestants all stood around their champion and cheered, clapping and chanting his name (except for Nicholas who had fractured his arm and sprained both his ankles in his landing, and was now in a wheel chair).

"Thanks, guys." Ayame said. "This means a lot to me… Then again, winning a hundred grand would mean a lot to most people."

"Speaking of which, the Total Drama Dynamite producers and I would also like to present you with this…" Chris clapped his hands and Chef stepped into view, carrying a giant check for one hundred thousand dollars.

"Great job, sweetheart." Harper said, pulling his girlfriend into a loving hug.

"Oh, I couldn't have done it without you, Harper." Ayame grinned, resting her forehead against his before leaning in for a kiss.

"So you're really donating half of that money to the tsunami relief effort?" TJ asked.

"Of course I am." Ayame said. "In fact, I already did."

"Cool." TJ said with a grin, giving her a thumbs up.

"So, what happens now?" Nick asked. "Do we all just go home and act like we're celebrities now?"

"Well…" Chris started, but a sudden gust of strong wind silenced him. Everyone at the bonfire pit looked up to find a helicopter. A rope ladder dropped down from the chopper and three men in dark business suits slid down to the ground. "Um… what the heck's going on here?" Chris asked the men.

One of the men flashed a badge to Chris. "We're with the Canadian Bureau of Taxation. We're here to collect the taxes on Miss Iris's winnings."

"Okay…" Ayame said. "How much am I losing here?"

"Given current tax rates, thanks to the economic situation, we will be taking approximately fifty thousand dollars of your winnings." The man said as he snatched the giant check from Chef. "Have a nice evening." And with that the three men grabbed onto the rope ladder and the helicopter flew away.

Ayame's jaw hit the ground in complete disbelief. "They just took all my money…"

"That's life for ya." Chris chuckled. He then turned to Steve's camera to sign off one last time. "So that's that. Total Drama Dynamite is over. But wait, what's that I smell? Could it be another season?"

"Chris, I've been trying to tell you, man…" Steve started.

Chris's cell phone suddenly sounded. "Hold that thought, Steve." He answered the phone. "You're go for McClain… yeah… uh-huh… what? What do you mean we're not getting another season?... The ratings tanked after the original campers left? What are you talking about? The ratings have been great this season… oh… I see... Yeah, we'll talk later… No we won't. Understood… all right, bye."

"I tried to tell you." Steve said.

"Shut up, Steve." Chris growled. "Now, let's try this sign off thing again…" He looked directly at the camera and put on his signature grin for a final take. "Well… this is the end, beautiful viewers. After more than two and a half years, this is Total Drama Dynamites final broadcast. It's been a lot of fun, and we'd like to thank all eleven of you that made this journey with us. TDD wouldn't have been anything without you… it was still nothing but you get the point. Hopefully, we've left you with some good memories… or at least took up the memory on your DVR. So, until we meet again, stay gold… Bang."

In the background, Ayame shouted on last time, "THEY TOOK ALL MY MONEY!"

* * *

(**A/N**) first of all, I'd like to thank everyone who submitted a character and to everyone else who read this story. thanks for sticking with me for so long. second, if you don't get the reference that Chris is making in his final speech then you had a deprived childehood, lol. I also hope you all enjoyed Nicholas's victory, as well as Ayame's alternate victory. Nicholas won the vote on my profile with five votes to one vote. Anyway, I had some good times writing this story, but now its time to move on. My next update should be the second part of the challenge I left off on in TDH, then I think I'll work on A Tale of Two times some more.


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